Maeve nodded, already feeling better now that she was covered up again.
The doctor instructed the nurse. “She’s breathing fine, so let’s get the tube out of her right away.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
The doctor stepped out of the curtain circle, continuing to give the nurse directions about diet and medications.
Maeve felt the throbbing become more localized. The pain that had been her whole chest now became centered above her right breast. I’m going to be all right. The relief was followed by a scurry of other thoughts. Am I charged? Will I go to jail? Why is Daniel here? I wish Mammy and Da were here. Do they know?
The nurse and a younger girl, in the crisp white pinafore of a trainee’s uniform, came back in. The older nurse was soothing. “This will be uncomfortable, but once that tube is out, you’ll feel much better. Try not to fight it. Just relax now. Just relax.”
Maeve gagged as the tube was pulled out, clenching the sheets in her hands, knowing that she was moaning and trying not to.
“Good, you’re doing fine. Nearly done now.”
Her throat was raw and sweat dripped from her forehead. Maeve tried to relax her muscles. The young aide took the metal basin containing the tube and mess of retch and spit away.
Maeve breathed deeply, trying not to flinch as the nurse pulled back the sheet and blanket again. Her voice was a whisper. “Sister, do my parents know I’m here?”
“Shh. Try not to talk now. I’ll find out, but I believe I heard that someone telephoned them.”
Maeve digested this. Will Daddy be angry or proud? Mammy will be angry.
Sister finished changing the dressing and retied the gown. “The young man that was here earlier is out in the hall. Do you want me to let him in, or are you ready to sleep again?”
Maeve swallowed. “Sleep.”
“Right you are. I’ll check on you in a wee while.” Sister whisked the curtains open on her way out.
Maeve closed her eyes. Why is Daniel here? What can I say to him?
She heard Sister’s quiet voice. “You’ll have to let her rest now. Sleep is the best thing for her.”
Daniel’s voice was deeper than she remembered it. “Couldn’t I just sit by her bedside? I won’t make a sound.”
Maeve peeked out from under her eyelashes and saw Daniel’s back. He was definitely a man now. How did I even recognize him?
She watched as the nurse put her hand on the small of his back, propelling him away from her room. The voices faded, and Maeve was glad to close her eyes to sleep. She thought the pain would keep her awake, but she was fuzzy again. They’ve given me something. She drifted off imagining Daniel and her father talking. The image was clear. Her father with his hand on Daniel’s shoulder. Gripping it? Ready to punch him? Or kindly? What are you talking about?
She slept.
Chapter Forty-One
Dublin, April 1943
Bridie came back to consciousness after her faint and with the help of a neighbour, Emmet got her back to the house and onto the settee in the parlour.
The neighbour, Joe Mulhall, lingered. “Bad news, then?”
Emmet saw the frown on Bridie’s face. “Nothing to worry about. Just a bit of a shock combined with not having any breakfast today.”
Mr. Mulhall nodded. “You should have an egg every morning, Missus Ryan.”
Bridie licked her dry lips and tried to speak in a normal voice. “Thank you, Mr. Mulhall. I’ll take that under advisement.”
Emmet walked to the door and opened it for his neighbour. “Thank you again for your help, Joe.”
Emmet closed the door before the man could continue to probe him for information.
Bridie was standing by the time he came back into the parlour. “Emmet, we need to get to Belfast.”
Emmet nodded. “Yes, of course. I’ll have Robert cycle over to your parents to give us the lend of their motor. I hope he’s got some petrol coupons he can spare.”
Emmet pointed to the writing desk. “Why don’t you write a quick note for your Da while I go and find Robert.”
She was at the desk pulling paper and an envelope out before Emmet left the room.
Emmet climbed the stairs. What do I tell the boys? Because of me and my stories, your sister has been shot? Is that what I say?
At the top of the steps, Emmet called out. “Robert, Malachy. Are you about? Come here please.”
Both boys emerged from their rooms. Robert came quickly when he saw his father’s face. “Da. What is it? Is Mammy all right?”
Emmet put his arms around the shoulders of each of his sons and gave a quick squeeze. “Your mother’s fine. Don’t worry about her.”
The boys pulled back, facing their father. Malachy glanced back over his shoulder to his room. “What is it then, Da? I’m working on a paper for school.”
Emmet took a deep breath. “It’s your sister. Maeve’s been hurt and is in hospital in Belfast.”
Robert stood silently, waiting for more.
Malachy put his hand to his head and pushed his fingers through his hair. “What happened? Is she all right?”
Emmet rested his hand on his youngest son’s shoulder. “We’re not sure how serious it is yet, so we need to get to Belfast as quick as we can.”
Malachy pulled away. “She had an accident?”
Emmet hesitated. Robert stuffed his hands in his pockets. “She’s been in some IRA thing, hasn’t she?”
Emmet tilted his head. “Why do you say that?”
Robert shrugged. “Has she?”
Emmet nodded. “She was at a peaceful commemoration when the damned British soldiers came storming in. She was shot.”
Malachy’s eyes welled with tears. “Will she be all right?”
Emmet touched Malachy’s head. “Mr. Carson told us she’s had an operation but she’s alive and resting. We’re all going to say our prayers to make sure she is.”
Malachy’s Adam’s apple bobbed as the boy swallowed several times. “Can I go see her?”
“You boys will stay here with Nana and Grandpa Mallon for a few days while your Mammy and I go to fetch Maeve home.” Please God.
Emmet turned to Robert. “Your Mammy is writing a letter right now to your Grandpa to give us the lend of his motor. Robert, can you please jump on your bicycle and deliver that as quick as you can? You can come back with him and then you’ll pack a few things and together the three of you can take a taxi back to their house.”
Robert whirled to run to his room to fetch his jacket and cap.
Malachy stood in the hall. “What can I do? I want to help.”
“You pack up your things now like a good lad. Don’t forget to take your school books. You’ll have to finish your paper once you get to Nana’s house.”
Malachy bit his lip, then flung himself against his father for a hug. “I didn’t want her to hug me when she left.”
“Son, she knows very well that you love her, that we all love her. Don’t you worry, and you’ll give her that hug when she’s home, right?”
“I’ll say a rosary, and Nana and I can go to church to light a candle.”
“Good man. That’s the way of it.”
Emmet gave Malachy a gentle push towards his room before turning to go back downstairs. Robert had gone down ahead of him and was already standing at the front door.
Emmet stopped halfway down the steps. “You have the letter from Mammy?”
Robert waved it before tucking it in his inside pocket. “I do.”
“Be careful. We don’t need anything to happen to you as well in your mad dash across the city.”
Robert closed the door behind him without responding.
He blames me.
Emmet went to the kitchen to talk to Róisín. “Did you hear what’s happened?”
She bobbed her head. “I have sir, and I’m that sorry to hear. Missus came in to tell me and to get the kettle going.”
Emmet nodded. “As always, she’s two steps ahead of me.
”
Róisín went back to setting cups on the tea tray and Emmet walked down the passage to the parlour.
Bridie sat at the desk writing notes.
Emmet stood beside her looking over her shoulder. “What are you doing, love?”
Bridie kept writing. “I’m just organizing what we are to do. I need to take some clothes for Maeve. I need to cancel the butcher’s order. I must send a note to Father O’Donnell to let him know I can’t help with the flowers this week.”
Emmet knelt in front of her. “Róisín can do some of those things. Why don’t you come and sit for a moment? Róisín will be in with the tea and we’ll talk it through. I can help with some things.”
Bridie narrowed her eyes. “I think you’ve done enough.”
Emmet felt the heat rise in his face. He stood and walked to the window to stare out the window. I love my country. Has that been so wrong?
He turned back to her. “I’ve put my family first since the day I got married.”
“What about the pension?”
Emmet clenched his teeth. “That again. That damned pension. It wasn’t a fortune I turned down. It wouldn’t have bought a new pair of shoes for one child. Surely to God, a man has a right to stand up for his principles, once in a while. As you well know, that pension was offered by the Pro-Treaty government as a bribe to us. Do you really believe that if I had allowed myself to be bought off by the government who betrayed our country, this would never have happened? That Maeve would be here and safe?” He knew he was shouting and he stopped to take a deep breath.
Bridie stared at him.
Emmet pounded his chest with his fist. “I believe we would still be in this same place, except that Maeve would be ashamed of her father. That would be the only difference.”
He slumped down on the sofa, shaking.
Bridie came to him and took his hand, enclosing it in both of hers. “I’m sorry, Emmet. I’ve become accustomed to being angry about the pension. She squeezed his hand. And don’t fool yourself into thinking it wouldn’t have been useful.”
Emmet sighed.
Bridie stroked the back of his hand. “But. But, it’s not the pension. You’re right. That wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference. It’s because Maeve always listened to your stories in a way the boys never did. She caught on fire. She got that from you.”
She lifted his hand to her mouth now and kissed the freckled skin. “I’ve always loved the passion in you, Emmet. You know that.”
“But?”
“But the country didn’t always need you as much as your family has.” She patted his hand before releasing it. “Never mind all that now. As you said, Maeve is her own woman now and made up her own mind about this, and I wouldn’t change the strong woman she’s become, for all the world.”
Emmet blinked, feeling the burning behind his eyes. “Ahh, Bridie. I would change it if I could. I would have her here safe.”
She nodded. They sat in silence for a moment, engulfed in their own thoughts. Emmet bowed his head and offered up a silent prayer.
Dear God, I’ve made mistakes and I’ll try to be a better man, but please don’t ask me for my child. Take me instead.
He raised his head as Róisín came in with the tea tray. Emmet suspected she had waited for the quiet before intruding.
He smiled at her. “Thank you, Róisín.”
“Will I pour?”
Bridie shook her head. “I’ll do it.”
Róisín left the room, pulling the door closed behind her again.
Emmet tried to wash down the lump in his throat with the tea. “I don’t know how my parents have gone on after losing Kevin.” His voice cracked. “I couldn’t bear to lose her, Bridie.”
Bridie finished her tea in a few big sips. “We aren’t going to lose her. I’m going up to pack so we’ll be ready to go as soon as Daddy gets here with the motor.”
Emmet topped up his tea. “I’ll talk to Róisín about the butcher’s order.”
He sipped slowly. This may be the last peaceful moment of my life. If she’s permanently injured, I’ll never forgive myself.
Chapter Forty-Two
Belfast, April 1943
Emmet had to stop three times to ask directions before he found his way to the Royal Victoria Hospital. Bridie sat frozen in the passenger seat, gripping the edges of her seat. He navigated around the double-decker trolley bus and pulled in to the car park.
The engine clicked to a stop and Emmet released a quiet groan. “Dear God. That was desperate.”
Bridie stretched her fingers, as if to unlock them from their cramped grip.
Emmet turned to her and took her right hand in his left. “Now Bridie, you mustn’t get too emotional here. Whatever the situation, we’ll all face it together, right?”
Bridie nodded. “She’s going to be fine. Mr. Carson would have told us otherwise.”
Emmet smiled a thin smile. “Right you are. Let’s go up, so.”
They clung to each other, feeling dwarfed by the massive dark red brick entryway. Emmet kept up a stream of words. “Look at all the Nursing Sisters. This is a grand place and Maeve will have been getting the best of care here.”
They stopped at a reception desk. Emmet had to repeat Maeve’s name twice before the porter heard him. Emmet swallowed, his throat felt dry and scratchy.
The porter stood and leaned across the desk to point out the passageway they should take. “Down that hall, turn right at the second passage. Take the steps up to the third floor. Follow that hall to the end and then ask the duty Sister which room your daughter is in.”
Emmet nodded. “Right. Thank you.”
They set off and immediately Emmet was in a muddle. “Is this right? Is this the way he said?”
Bridie tugged on his arm. “This way then we turn right.”
“Here? Do we turn here?”
“No, the second turn he said.”
Bridie led the way up the steps to the third floor.
They emerged in the middle of a long hall. Emmet looked right and then left. “Which way?”
Bridie bit her lip. “I’m not sure. I don’t think he said.”
Emmet stood looking right and then left again. Just pick one, man.
A nurse stopped. “Are you lost?”
Bridie’s voice was choked. “Our daughter, Maeve Ryan is here somewhere, but we haven’t a clue where.”
The nurse looked at her clipboard and then pointed to Emmet’s left. “All the way to the end and turn left. Room 323.”
Emmet found his voice. “Thank you, Sister. You’ve been a great help.”
She smiled and nodded.
Emmet took Bridie’s hand and slipped it through his arm. He felt stronger having the weight of her hand resting on him.
Sounds swirled around them. Moans of pain, the clink of rolling carts and instruments, a burst of laughter quickly extinguished and hushed conversations.
Emmet leaned close to Bridie. “Jaysus, I hate the smell of these places.”
Bridie steamed forward, ignoring his effort to talk.
At last they arrived at her room. Through the open door Emmet saw the curtain drawn between the beds.
Bridie pulled her arm free. “Let me go in first in case she’s having some treatment.”
Emmet gulped, a vision of his daughter covered in blood, swimming before his eyes.
He nodded and watched his wife disappear around the curtain. She stepped back again and held her hand silently out to him, gesturing him to come.
Emmet’s heart pounded in his temples. When he joined his wife on the other side of the curtain, he exhaled.
His daughter lay sleeping, a little paler than usual but otherwise looking fine. The deep copper curls, so reminiscent of her mother’s, lay fanned out against the white pillow. The freckles across her nose stood out against her pasty skin.
Emmet squeezed his wife’s hand. “She looks all right.”
“Shh.”
They stood, holding
hands, watching their daughter sleep. Emmet felt he could watch her forever.
They stood for several moments and then a doctor and nurse came in. The sound of their arrival woke Maeve and she opened her eyes. Her head was turned to the nurse and she smiled at the Sister, blinking sleepily.
The nurse pointed to Emmet and Bridie. “Hello Miss Ryan. There are people here to see you.”
Maeve turned her head and started. “Mammy! Daddy!” Her arm came from under the blanket and reached out to them.
Emmet nudged his wife forward and Bridie perched on the edge of the bed, leaning down to gather Maeve up in her arms.
Maeve rubbed her mother’s back. “I’m fine, Mammy. I’m fine.”
Emmet stumbled to the bedside chair, collapsing in an awkward crouch-sit. He stroked his daughter’s hair. “Are you all right, Maeve? Are you truly?”
Maeve left off rubbing her mother’s back to clutch at Emmet’s hand. “I am, Daddy. I am.”
Her mother sat up and fished out a handkerchief from her bag. She blew her nose and then crossed herself. “Thanks be to God.”
Emmet nodded. “We didn’t know what to expect. That damned Carson was so vague about it all. He said you had an operation and were resting, but I thought he was just trying to gloss over it.”
Maeve lay her hand back down. “The Carsons have been so good. They came in and sat with me.” She touched her mother’s arm. “Elizabeth is coming over.”
Bridie dabbed at her eyes. “Elizabeth? I’ll be so pleased to see her, but why on earth is she coming?”
Maeve pulled the blanket back up to her chin, hiding her arm under the covers. “You don’t know?”
Bridie looked at Emmet.
Emmet frowned. “Carson said something about Daniel, but for the life of me I don’t know what it was now. Once we heard you were shot, everything else went out of my mind.”
Bridie laid her hand on Maeve’s leg. “Daniel was never shot, was he?”
Maeve closed her eyes. “No Mammy.” She took a deep breath. “It was Daniel who shot me.”
Emmet clenched his fists. “By God, I’ll kill him.”
“No, Daddy. If it hadn’t been Daniel, I would probably be dead now.”
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