“Here, here!” Jacob says heartily. “You said it, man! If you were my mama, I wouldn’t be able to fit though the…” he trails off, glancing my way and hanging his head, face red from shame.
Not missing a beat, I shout, “Through the dang door! How do you think I maintain my girlish figure?” I say with a sassy grin, punchin’ Jacob on the shoulder, bringing a laugh from all around.
Suddenly, and totally out of left field, Jacob lunges forward, kissin’ me square on my cheek. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he says with a shy grin, grabbin’ my hand and squeezing it tightly.
“Aww, now ain’t that sweet?” Mama says, grinning and throwin’ me a wink, not helping my feelings of awkwardness over the impulsive act one bit. “And yeah, she is an amazing girl, alright!”
“Yeah, she sure is,” Lukas says quietly, looking lost in thought as I glance his way, wondering if he’s feeling alright.
Jumping to his feet, Lukas says, “I reckon we better be headin’ out. Kassidy, I’ll check in on ya tomorrow before I go in to work. Thanks again for the wonderful meal, Mrs. Kane,” he says, hugging Mama. “Jake, you bout ready?”
What just happened? Lukas isn’t acting like his usual, light-hearted self, and it’s got me puzzled. I sure hope he ain’t comin’ down with nothin’.
“It’s been a pleasure, Mrs. Kane.” Jake says, also hugging Mama. “Thanks for the delicious supper.” To me, he smiles warmly and says, “Mind if I come keep ya company sometime, Kas? I’d really like that.”
“S-sure, that’d be just fine,” I stammer, not certain what to make of this sudden coziness Jacob seems to be feeling towards me, but not so sure I’m not liking it. Smiling shyly, I say, “Take care, Jake.”
As I look at Lukas, I notice him eyeing Jacob and me peculiarly, and then it’s gone. “Ya’ll take care now,” he says with a nod, as he and Jacob head out the door and out to his truck.
“Well wasn’t that nice?” Mama says happily. “I really like your friends, sweetheart. I sure hope they’ll be back soon. So nice to have menfolk around the house again.”
Men – who could understand em? One is givin’ me more attention than I know what to do with, and the other is givin’ me the cold-shoulder…go figure.
Belly full and sleepy, I give a big ol yawn and snuggle in under the covers for a much-needed nap. But dreams of a man shrouded in shadows fill my heart with terror, along with a man on a white horse – my knight, come to save me, perhaps?
The only thing is, I can’t see his face…and I can’t help but wonder if it is one of the increasingly complicated men in my life, or is this someone new…
Chapter Ten
Lukas
As I put the key into the ignition, I hesitate. “Hey Jake, what the hell was that about back there?” I ask, irritated.
“I dunno what you mean,” Jacob says, a confused look on his face.
“You know what I’m talkin about. Kissin’ Kassidy…what the hell was that all about?” I ask, growing more annoyed by his playin’ dumb.
“Oh, that…it was nothin’. I just felt bad for sayin what I was about to say, that’s all,” he says, lookin’ away out the window.
“Is that a fact?” I say, my tone letting him know that I’m not buyin’ it for a minute. “Don’t go messin’ with that girl’s heart, Jake…that ain’t cool.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jake says with a scowl. “So, what’re you now, her keeper, just because you found her after what Buck done?”
“Naw, but I am her friend, and so are you – so don’t go actin’ like somethin’ you’re not…that’s all I’m sayin’.”
As I start the truck, I can feel him glaring at the side of my face, but I don’t acknowledge it. I’ve had my say, and he’d best be taking heed. I’ve got enough to deal with havin’ Jessica messing with Kassidy’s head, without Jake climbing on the bandwagon. Why he’d be doing somethin’ like tryin’ to fool her into thinkin’ he likes her in that way is beyond me, but it’s not right, and I’m here to let him know about it. That girl’s been through enough already.
As we ride along in tense silence, both of us pissed, Jake stares out the window, lost in thought. When I pull up at his place, he jumps outta the truck, and starts to slam the door. Thinkin better of it, he sticks his head back inside.
“Ya know, Lukas – if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had some other reason for not wantin’ me gettin’ close to Kassidy – that’s all I’m sayin’,” and with that, he closes the door and leaves me sittin’ in his driveway, thankful that he didn’t wait for an answer… ‘cause I damn sure don’t have one.
When I walk in the door, Jessica is sittin on the couch, arms folded, fit to be tied.
“We need to talk,” she says coldly.
“Oh, we definitely gonna talk,” I say, tossing my keys onto the table near the door. “But first, I’m goin’ to take a shower.”
As I walk out of the room, I hear her make a growling sound in her throat, somethin’ that she always does when she don’t get her way. If we do stay together, I might as well get used to that sound, cause she’s gonna be makin’ it a lot from now on…and if we don’t – well, that’s some other man’s problem, now ain’t it?
As I step under the steaming water, I turn my face up and into the spray, letting the heat melt my stress and frustrations away. I can’t help but think back on what Jake had said to me: If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had some other reason for not wantin’ me gettin close to Kassidy…
Now that’s just crazy talk, right? I mean, sure, I care about Kassidy and her feelings, but that don’t mean I’m feelin anything for the girl…does it?
I have to stop and take a mental inventory of all the times we’ve spent together. Sure, she makes me laugh, and I love hangin’ out with her. She’s cute, funny, smart, charming, feisty as all get out – and there’s that adorable little way she has of scrunchin’ up her eyes and wrinkling her nose when she’s annoyed at me…but I mean, it’s normal to think about those things, right? But you’ve been thinkin bout those things a lot lately… my mind answers back.
Okay, so yeah, I think about her sometimes…I mean, who am I kiddin’…after putting up with Jessica’s crap, it’s refreshing to be around somebody who’s so laid back and drama-free. What’s so strange about that?
So, here’s the question I gotta ask myself – was the real cause of me getting’ pissed at Jake for kissing Kassidy just because I think he’s doin it for the wrong reasons…or is there something more to it?
It’s a simple question – so why, tryin’ my damnedest, can’t I come up with an answer?
When I get downstairs, I half-expect Jess to have already left, angry as she was at havin’ to wait to get her say. But, there she is, still sittin’ on the couch, talkin’ on the phone to one of her friends.
“Hey girl, I gotta go. You know I will!” she says with a laugh. “Talk later, bye!”
As I sit down in the chair across from her, she takes a deep breath before starting. “Lukas, what in the world has gotten into you lately?” she begins, already lettin’ in on me. “It’s like I hardly know you anymore!”
“What’s gotten into me is some sense, and it’s been a long time comin’,” I tell her, not backing down. This conversation will not go her way – not this time. “And you’re damn right you hardly know me anymore – that’s ‘cause you’ve turned me into somebody I don’t even know myself, and I finally decided I’ve had enough!”
“So just what is it you’re tryin to say, Lukas?” she says icily. “That you’re not happy with me anymore, is that it? Cause if it is, there are plenty of men who would be more than happy to have what you’re throwin’ away. On the other hand, I’ve only seen one person who’d be happy with what I’m bout to be rid of, and that’s Kassidy Kane!”
“You know what, Jess? You might be right about those men chompin’ at the bit to get at you…but just know this – if they knew you like I know you, the
y wouldn’t be so eager to take my place!”
Her mouth drops open in complete shock that I would dare talk to her this way. That’s because nobody ever has, not even her daddy, who’s got more money than sense. If he’d have said ‘no’ to her once in a while, she wouldn’t be the cruel, self-centered person she is today, and I’d still have my sweet Jess, the one I met back in junior high… but no sense in cryin’ over spilled milk this late in the game. What’s done is done, and she’s as spoiled as week-old trout.
“What did you just say?” she fumes, her eyes blazing with fury. “You seem to forget who my daddy is,” she says icily. “And just how quick you can be out on your ass!”
“No, I know just who your daddy is, and I also know that I was lookin’ for a job when I came there, and I can look for another one…but I damn sure won’t let a woman hold that over my head to keep me in a relationship!”
Suddenly, her whole attitude changes, and she turns on the pout. “But baby-lips, I don’t wanna fight! Can’t we just pretend this ol’ mess never happened?” she says in her childish voice – the one she uses when she’s tryin’ to get her way.
“Absolutely not, not this time – we are gonna have this conversation, and that’s that!”
Crossing her arms, she sits back in a huff, waiting for me to finish what I have to say, hopin’ I’ll just hurry up and get on with it, so she can go get her nails done, or whatever it is that her and her friends have planned for the evening.
“Now, this is how it’s gonna be from now on, or I’m gone,” I say, pointin’ my finger at her to emphasize how serious I am. Not that it does any good, as she rolls her eyes and crosses her legs, swinging her foot impatiently. Sometimes I really wonder just what it is I see in this girl.
“Lukas, just tell me what all this is about, so we can get this over and done and go make up like we always do,” she says slyly, raising an eyebrow and licking her lips. But that dog don’t hunt no more.
“What this is about, is Kassidy…more accurately, how you been treatin’ her,” I say, folding my arms and waiting on her to respond.
“Whatever do you mean?” she has the nerve to ask, soundin’ all sweet an’ innocent. “I don’t even talk to the girl. She’s your friend, not mine,” she says coldly, her eyes narrowing, full of resentment. She has never been happy with mine and Kassidy’s friendship, and has never made it any secret, especially back in school. But Kassidy and me grew up together, and I am not about to let a girlfriend dictate to me who I can and can’t be friends with – it just ain’t manly, and it just ain’t right.
“Exactly, she’s my friend, so you need to stop treatin’ her like trash. Kassidy’s a good girl, and you’ve always made her feel like she don’t belong. That’s a shame and a disgrace, and you are gonna make things right, or I’m out the door. I mean it, Jess – you’re gonna change your childish ways or I’m done.”
“Lukas Crawford, don’t tell me that you don’t know that the girl is in love with you! Has been ever since I’ve known her! And you expect me to welcome her with open arms into our home? That is just too much! Now, I will admit, I do kinda feel sorry for her – I mean, to be in love with your best friend, knowing there’s not a chance in hell that he’ll ever love you back? Well, that’s truly pathetic, now ain’t it?” she says with a laugh. “Stuck in the friend zone, with no way out…poor girl!
And I’m sure that in her daydreams, she thinks that one day you’ll fall madly in love with her…fat chance – no pun intended,” she laughs cruelly.
I can barely stomach the sight of her anymore. This is not the Jessica I used to love. What I once thought was so beautiful, has turned ugly, bitter and disgusting to me.
“Are you so sure about that, Jess…cause I’m not!” And I turn and walk out the door.
Chapter Eleven
Kassidy
The next day, Melanie comes by for a visit. “I’ll just get you girls some sweet tea, and ya’ll can relax and talk while I make ya some lunch. Melanie honey, is tuna salad alright?” Mama asks kindly, not bringing up the whole food allergy thing, but instead just asking if Mel likes a certain food. Mama’s very considerate that way.
“No, thank you, ma’am – actually, I brought my lunch,” she holds up a brown paper sack. “Hummus and whole wheat crackers…it’ll get me by until supper, but thank you kindly all the same,” she smiles shyly.
“Not a problem. I’ll just go get ya’ll that sweet tea,” she smiles.
Sweet tea bein one of the only Southern things that Melanie can actually have, she indulges whenever she has the chance – although at her house, or shall I say her Mama’s house, it’s frowned upon as beverages go, because it’s sugar content is enough to give anyone instant diabetes. Well, that’s the joke we use, anyway, and Melanie’s Mama stands by it as fact. Maybe it is, but it sure does taste mighty fine.
There’s so much I wanna talk to Melanie about, but first, I’ve gotta get her to wipe that pitying look off her face. I swannee, if one more person gives me that look, I think I’m liable to scream.
“Hey Mel,” I start off, speaking gently. “I’m fine, really…you don’t have to look all tore up about me anymore.”
“Are ya sure, Kas – I mean, you did go through an awful experience. It’s enough to make me not wanna go back outside again,” she says sadly, shakin her head. I would never say this to Melanie, cause she’s my friend, but honestly, it wouldn’t take as much as I’ve been through to stop her from goin outside again – that’s just how badly afraid of germs she is.
“Girl, it’s nothin’ like that - although…”
“Although what?” Melanie asks, worried.
Right about that time, Mama comes back into the room with two glasses of iced tea. We thank her appreciatively, and she heads on back down to the kitchen to prepare mine and her lunch, minus one for Melanie.
Lookin at me expectantly, waitin’ for me to finish what I was saying, Mel takes a long swig of her tea, sighing in sweet delight.
“Well, what I was about to say is – I do get a mite worried about Buck comin’ back around, tryin’ to finish me off,” I say, glancing toward the doorway in case Mama forgot something. “I ain’t even gonna lie about that.”
“Oh my gosh, Kas! They gotta find him soon, they just gotta,” she says, wide-eyed and scared, just like I am. I’m at the point where I’m about as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs.
“They’ll get him,” I say with a confidence I don’t rightly feel. “Lukas assures me that they’re doin’ all they can to make sure he don’t make it back into town – road blocks, license checks, the works. If he comes back here, our deputies all know him, so he won’t slip past ‘em.”
“Let’s just hope not,” Mel says with great trepidation, much as I’m feelin’ as well. “It’s so nice that Lukas has been comin’ by to check on you like he is,” she says with a smile. “He’s a good guy, always has been.”
“He sure is…but it’s just that – well, you know Mel, I was raped. There just ain’t no way to sugar-coat that. And me and Lukas, we ain’t never talked about that happenin’ and all. Even though I know that he’s aware, I just can’t talk to him about all that, ya know? Mel, you know how I feel about him…just the thought that he knows somethin’ so awful about me, it just tears me up inside. The worst part is, I was a virgin. No surprise there, but still…that was somethin’ that no man should have been able to take away from me until I was ready. What must Lukas be thinkin’ of me now?” I say, voice breaking, tears welling in my eyes.
“Oh Kassidy!” Melanie says, jumpin’ up, scaring Niko and sending him running in the process, to come give me a big ol’ hug, hard as it is for her to do so. But she is my friend til the end, and when it comes to our friendship, it’s germs be damned, and I love her for that. She wipes her own tears as she exclaims, “Don’t you even dare to think such things! You know good and well Lukas would never think any less of you because of that – it absolutely was not you
r fault!”
Nodding sadly, I make a scoffing sound as I recall just a few moments before, I was tellin’ Mel not to be feeling all sorry for me – and now I’m doin’ it to myself.
“Changin’ the subject,” I say with a hint of a smile, “Jacob’s been around to see me quite a few times this past week,” I try to sound nonchalant, but Melanie ain’t havin’ none of that. “I think he might be getting sweet on me…and I think Lukas notices it, too.”
“What? Okay, spill! When did all this take place?” she asks, scoochin’ closer to me on the bed, so as not to miss a single detail.
“Oh, the day I got home from the hospital. Him and Luke was over here when me and Mama got home, and they helped me get settled in. Mama invited them to stay for supper, of course – and after that, Jacob kissed me,” I exclaim, grinnin’ like a possum.
“Seriously?” Melanie practically yells, from sheer excitement. “He kissed you?”
“He sure did!” Mama says, walkin’ in the door, a big ol’ goofy grin on her face. “And it was just the sweetest thing!”
“Mama!” I scold, her comin’ in on our conversation is just plain uncalled for. “Shame on you for listenin’ in! And it was just on the cheek, mind you,” I say, shaking my head.
“That’s still a kiss!” Mel says emphatically. “Still counts!”
“She’s right, ya know,” Mama says, a smug look on her face. “And I was not listening in, Miss Smarty Britches…I was just comin’ to ask you if you want your bread toasted or not!” she says, hand on her hip.
“Not,” I say, puttin’ my hand on my hip, sitting down as I am, but still. I can’t hold a straight face any longer, and apparently, neither can Mama, as we bust out laughing at ourselves for actin’ like we were mad. It’s a rare thing that me and Mama ever get angry at one another, and I know we are truly blessed for that.
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