by E. L. Todd
“But you have me to take care of that.” He hadn’t shaved his beard for the last few days, so the shadow was thick. His blue eyes were clear, reminding me of the sky in summer. He was a handsome man, and sometimes it was hard to believe he loved me. “Which brings me to my next question. How would you feel if I moved in?”
“Here?” I asked.
“Yeah. You have to admit, it would be easier if we were under the same roof.”
Kyle and I hadn’t done anything romantic since Neil left. Our lives were about our friendship and the baby we were having together. No sexual urge had ever overcome me because I was constantly aware of Neil’s son or daughter inside me. It felt strange to be with another man when Neil was still inside me. “But that seems—”
“I’m not trying to make anything happen with you, Charlotte. It was just an idea. Maybe I could stay in the spare bedroom for the first month just to help out. Then, if we want to live together, we can talk about it. I don’t mind renting out my house or something.”
“Yeah, let’s do it for a month then talk about it later.”
“Alright.” He continued to rub my stomach, his fingers sliding up my shirt so he could feel the bare skin. “Anything I can do for you? I can give you a scalp massage or pick up something. Anything.”
“No…I just need to rest.”
“Alright.” He got to his feet then pulled the sheets over me, tucking me in and getting Torpedo to move. He grabbed my phone and turned it on silent before he switched off the lamp. “I’ll hang out in the living room for a bit in case you need anything.”
“Alright.” My eyes were already closed because I was so tired. I fell asleep almost immediately, thinking about space.
“You’re so huge.” Stacy gawked at my stomach.
Vic helped me into the seat in the booth before sitting across from me. “But beautiful…” He shot Stacy a glare.
“It’s okay,” I said with a laugh. “I know I’m humongous. I can’t wait until this baby gets here. Jeez, I’m uncomfortable.”
“I was pretty resentful of Vic at first,” Stacy said. “You know, for doing that to me.”
“I’m gonna do it again real soon,” Vic said ominously. “Get ready.”
“I’ll superglue my legs together.”
“That’s not gonna stop me,” Vic replied.
Listening to them talk about sex made me miss sex—more than I already did. Kyle was an easy target and a good lay, but I still steered away from that.
“So, how’s it going with Kyle?” Stacy asked. “Every time I talk to him, he seems excited about the baby.”
“He’s just excited for me not to be pregnant anymore.” He’d probably figured out I wouldn’t be ready to be anything serious until this baby was out of me. It’d been so long since Neil left that it felt like a lifetime ago when he launched. From what I heard, the ship and crew were healthy and nothing had gone amiss. He’d probably forgotten about me because of all the excitement surrounding him. I might have moved on by now if his child weren’t inside me.
“I doubt Kyle cares about fucking you in that state,” Vic said. “I always thought it was sexy when Stacy was pregnant, and I’m excited for her to be pregnant again.”
Stacy rolled her eyes. “It’s sooo not sexy.”
I never told Stacy that Kyle and I were sleeping together. She just assumed. When the four of us went out, Kyle only behaved like my friend, but they still assumed we were romantically involved. We didn’t even need to put on a show. “What’s new with you guys?”
“Well…” Stacy looked at Vic, silently communicating with him.
When Vic avoided eye contact, it was obvious it had something to do with Neil. “We got a video from Neil.”
“Oh…how is he?” For the most part, Stacy and Vic never talked about Neil to me. They omitted him from most conversations, and since I never got a video from him even though he’d said he would send something, I assumed he wanted to keep his distance.
“He’s good,” Vic said. “He’s healthy, so is the rest of the crew. They’re still on course and will land on Mars in less than a month.”
I’d been pregnant and grew this child until now, and when I was about to pop, he was just about to arrive at his destination. That meant he had been cooped up in that spacecraft for nearly a year…doing god knows what. “I’m glad he’s okay. Now we just need the mission to go well and make sure he gets home alright.”
“Yeah,” Vic said in agreement. “But he said if they were going to have serious problems with the ship, it would have happened by now.”
I hoped he was right. “Did you tell him I’m pregnant?” He was probably over me by now, but I doubted he wanted to picture me having sex with Kyle, getting knocked up by some other guy,
Vic shook his head. “No. We don’t mention you at all. He doesn’t mention you.”
That hurt a bit.
“I just didn’t see the point in telling him,” Vic said. “Even if he comes back, he may not see you, so I didn’t think it was necessary—”
“No, you made the right decision,” I said quickly. “I think it would be weird. Just let it be.”
“Alright,” Vic said. “Got any names picked out?”
“No, not yet. I’ve been more focused on actually having the kid…and how much it’ll hurt.”
Stacy cringed. “It’s really painful, girl. Get the needle.”
“I intend to.” I wouldn’t be in labor for twelve hours while experiencing unimaginable pain.
“But it’s so worth it,” Stacy said. “You’ll have a beautiful baby…and you’ll feel complete.”
I rubbed my hand over my stomach and sighed. “Yeah. I already do feel complete.”
Kyle came over, dinner in hand. “I got sandwiches. Are you hungry?”
I sat on the couch, wearing a loose dress so I wouldn’t look enormous. “I’m pregnant, so I’m always hungry.”
He brought the food to the couch on two plates, and we ate in front of the TV. “Miss working?”
“Not really. I miss being able to stand without my feet hurting.”
“The things we take for granted… Makes me grateful I’m a dude.”
“You guys have a lot of perks in that category. No UTIs, no periods, no pregnancies…not fair.”
“I think women go through those things because they’re the tougher sex.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “I do. We bitch about everything.”
I’d never heard Kyle complain about anything. The same was true for Vic and Neil. “I don’t know why this baby won’t come out. It’s time to leave, but they just stay put…”
“Because they’re comfy. I’d stay in there forever too.”
I was certain it was a boy, but I wouldn’t know until he arrived.
“So, you’re still sure you want to do this?” Kyle asked. “Because when that kid is born, he’s gonna have my last name. That’s pretty permanent.”
“Names can always be changed.”
“Yeah, but it’s better if you don’t.”
After my conversation with Vic and Stacy, I was even more certain. “Yeah, I’m sure. Neil is living in a different reality right now…literally. This is not what he wants. It sucks keeping it a secret, but I think in the long run, we’ll both be happier.”
“Alright.”
“Unless you’ve changed your mind.”
“No, not at all.” He turned back to the TV and kept eating, staying in tip-top shape while I kept getting bigger and flabbier. He seemed to be fitter with every passing week, like he was purposely trying to be as muscular as possible. His shirt stretched his sleeves to the breaking point, and his stomach was so tight it looked like solid concrete.
I’d have to work my ass off to lose all the weight I’d gained. On top of that, I had to take care of a kid.
Kyle wiped his fingers on a napkin. “I was playing basketball with some of the guys—”
“Oh my god.” I dropped my food on the grou
nd and gripped my stomach.
Kyle immediately grabbed my hand. “Are you alright? What is it? Is the baby coming?”
“My water broke…
Kyle didn’t look down, as if to make it less embarrassing for me. “Great. Let’s get this show on the road.” Calm as ever, he picked up the hospital bag from the chair, grabbed his keys, and then helped me to my feet. “Baby’s finally coming. You’ll be comfortable soon enough.”
“I just have to go through labor first…no big deal.”
They say when you become a parent, your entire life changes.
That was so true.
I held my son in my arms, thinking he was the most beautiful thing in the world. With fair skin, stunning chocolate brown eyes, and a few strands of brown hair, he was perfect. The most perfect baby I ever could have imagined.
Kyle sat by my side, admiring my son with the same affection. “Jesus Christ, he’s cute.”
“I know…”
“You’ll never be able to keep the girls away. This guy is gonna get more ass than he can handle.”
“Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that for a long time.” Right now, he was just an innocent little boy, someone who would spend his years playing with toys and running around through the sprinklers in summer. He didn’t have to worry about a damn thing because he had me to do all the worrying.
“Got a name yet?” Kyle asked.
When I looked at those brown eyes, I immediately thought of Neil. I’d love to name my son after his famous father, but that would be inappropriate. I had another name in mind. “Kingston. That way, I can call him King for short.”
“That’s cute.” Kyle rested his hand on the baby’s head, feeling the soft strands of hair. “Kingston Sanders.”
Minutes later, Stacy and Vic walked inside, leaving Victor behind with his grandmother.
“Oh my god, he’s so damn cute.” Stacy came to my side, looking at my son like a proud aunt.
I was afraid Stacy and Vic would figure out his parentage just by looking at his eyes. They were identical to Neil’s. But thankfully, neither one of them caught on.
“What’s his name?” Stacy asked.
“Kingston.”
Vic stood beside Kyle. “Congratulations, man.”
“Thanks,” Kyle said, not taking his eyes off Kingston. “He’s one cute kid.”
“Being a father is the best and hardest thing you’ll ever do,” Vic said. “Enjoy it.”
Kyle turned his gaze to me, affection in his eyes. “I’ll enjoy it every second.”
Five
Charlotte
Three Months Later
“Don’t stop.” Kyle kneeled on the mat beside me, dressed in a black t-shirt and running shorts. His muscled arms were so big, they could pick up an entire rack of weights and throw it across the room. There were so many sexy and fit chicks in the gym, but he only seemed to care about me. “Come on, keep going.”
“No.” I lay back and panted, my abs screaming in pain after all the sit-ups I’d done.
“Yes. Ten more.”
“It’ll kill me.”
“You can do it, Char. If you can give birth to someone, you can do this. No excuses.”
“Ugh, I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. You’re in the best shape of your life because of me. You like all those compliments, right?”
I squeezed my stomach with my arms while keeping my eyes closed. “Yes…” People were astounded by my figure because I dropped the weight so quickly after Kingston. But that was because Kyle worked my ass into shape…after I asked him to help me. He pushed me at the gym, cooked dinner every night while I took care of the baby, and as a result, people were impressed.
“Then ten more.”
“Ugh.” I groaned then did ten more, my stomach screaming in pain with every sit-up until it was over. “No more. Let me go home.”
He chuckled as he kneeled over me. “Now, we can get sushi.”
“How do you do this every day? How do you push yourself to be so fit?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just got used to it.” He rose to his feet then gave me a hand.
I got to my feet and groaned through the soreness. Kyle had managed to get me back to the weight I was before I had Kingston. My body wasn’t the same as it used to be. It wasn’t as tight and my skin was a little loose, but I still looked pretty damn good.
That was because Kyle wouldn’t let carbs into the house…or sweets…or anything fried.
It’d been a terrible three months.
Kyle and I left the gym and stopped at the sushi place for dinner. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and I was in my leggings and a workout top. I was still covered in sweat, so I felt a little awkward sitting in a restaurant when I was dirty, but I was so hungry I didn’t care.
The waitress brought our rolls, and we picked up our chopsticks and snacked on whatever we wanted.
“It’s nice that Stacy watches Kingston during the week,” Kyle said. “I think we should pay her.”
“I’ve tried, but she won’t take my money. She says she doesn’t mind, but I’ve watched my son before, and even I mind.”
He chuckled slightly and kept eating. “He’s grown so much in three months. It’s crazy.”
“I know…he just keeps getting cuter.” Being a new mother was rough, just as difficult as Stacy told me it would be. It was overwhelming to stop everything in life to take care of someone else, but since I loved him so much, I didn’t mind. I was proud of everything he did, even when he laughed at one of his musical toys. I wanted to give this kid the whole world.
“He does.” Kyle nodded in agreement and kept eating. His eyes drifted around the restaurant, settled on one spot in particular, and then he quickly looked down at his food again. He’d shaved that morning because his jaw was clean, and his blond hair matched his beautiful eyes. Kyle had been my friend for so long that I’d forgotten how handsome he was, but now that I saw him all the time, I wasn’t immune to his charms.
A pretty girl came to the table, with beautiful blond hair and light-colored eyes. “Kyle? Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good. How are you, Becca?”
“I’m great. Just picking up dinner before I head home.” She glanced at me but didn’t introduce herself. “I haven’t seen you at the gym lately, but you’re in great shape, so you must still be going.”
“I go later in the day. I have a son now, so my schedule is different.”
“Oh…” She couldn’t hide her disappointment that Kyle was officially off the market. “Alright…I guess I’ll see you around.” She walked out.
Kyle kept eating like nothing happened.
“Just because you have a kid doesn’t mean you stop getting laid,” I said with a laugh.
Kyle picked up another roll and placed it into his mouth. “Since I have a kid, she probably assumes I’m in a relationship.”
“You could correct her.”
He grabbed another roll, dipped it into a bit of sauce, and then placed it in his mouth. “If I wanted to correct her, I would. I don’t.” As if he hadn’t said something serious, he kept eating, like we were having a casual dinner.
“Kyle, I—”
“I know who I want to be with. Take all the time you need. I’ll wait.” He looked me dead in the eye, pausing for a few seconds to let his words sink in. “Whenever I pick up women and take them home, I never feel satisfied. I feel dirty, unfulfilled, sad. I’m sick of that lifestyle and don’t want to do it anymore.”
Stunned, I didn’t know what to say.
“I want you,” he whispered. “Even if we’re just going to the gym, having dinner together, taking care of Kingston… I get so much more happiness out of that than I ever would screwing someone else. I’ve been seeing my hand for a long time, but I don’t mind it. I’m glad we took things slow and didn’t jump into something too quickly. I want to wait until you’re absolutely ready, when you aren’t thinking about him anymore and you ca
n only think about me. So, I’ll keep waiting…because I know it’ll be worth it.”
I lay on the rug in the living room with Kingston beside me. He played with plastic keys in his hand, shaking them and then sticking them in his mouth.
Torpedo was on the other side, watching Kingston with interest. He seemed to understand he was a little human, a puppy to me. So, he was protective, barking anytime it seemed like something was wrong.
I placed my fingers on Kingston’s stomach and gave him a gentle tickle.
He giggled.
These were the moments I cherished, when it was just the two of us together. He was a happy baby, his eyes lighting up every time he looked at me. He had the cutest feet and the cutest hands, and sometimes my heart wanted to explode in joy.
The front door opened, and Kyle walked inside. “I’ve got lots of diapers. God, this kid shits so much.” He set the bags on the counter then pulled out a couple to set on the couch. “What are you guys doing?”
“Just getting him down for bedtime.”
Kyle stood over both of us, a slight smile on his lips. “He’s got your lips.”
“He’s so cute, I find it hard to believe he has anything of mine.”
He gave me a hard look, like he didn’t believe that for a second. “I’ll change his diaper and put him to bed.”
“I can do it.” I got to my knees then picked him up. “Time for bed, baby.”
He continued to shake the keys.
“I know you want to keep looking at Torpedo, but it’s time for bed.” I took him into his room, changed his diaper, and then put him down for bed. He’d adapted to sleeping on his own quickly, because I refused to come into the room every time he cried. Now, he was independent. I only left his night-light on then walked down the hallway. “He’s such a good baby.”
“Yeah, he is.” Kyle put Kingston’s toys away and straightened out the living room while Torpedo was in the backyard doing his business. “Is there anything else you need before I go?” Kyle had been staying at his place, but he came over every day to help out. He even took Kingston to his place whenever I needed a break. He was an amazing father…with no experience. It was amazing how much people changed once there was a little guy in the room. Kyle never cared that Neil was the father of this perfect baby. He really loved him as his own, never resented Kingston for having someone else’s DNA. “No. You’ve done enough.”