by E. L. Todd
Twenty-Seven
Neil
I was tired of waiting. Couldn’t lie about that.
But I wanted it to be right. I wanted her to feel good about it. I didn’t want her feeling sad over Kyle when she kissed me. I didn’t want her to think about him at all.
I listened to her feelings as her friend, supported her the way a friend should. But Kyle was her ex…and I was a bit jealous. I didn’t like thinking about him. I didn’t like knowing he’d been where I’d been. I could be the better man and let it go, to see them be friends together someday without being weird about it, but I wanted him gone from her heart for good.
So, I had to keep waiting.
“She finally told me about Kyle.” I sat beside Vic on the couch in the living room.
Stacy was down the hall, taking care of Victor and Little Neil, who was only two weeks old.
Vic turned away from the screen and looked at me. “That’s progress.”
“I told her I’d wait as long as she needed.”
“Even more progress.”
“I just… It’s hard.”
“Yeah, you’ve haven’t gotten laid in years—”
“That’s not what I meant.” I shook my head at my brother’s crass comment. “I just don’t know how long this is going to go on. She was engaged to someone. I want her, but I don’t want her to think about somebody else, you know?”
“If it’s a contest, it’s not a close one, Neil. You know you’re the one she’s always wanted.”
“But Kyle is a thorn in our side…like always.”
“Come on, he’s a good guy.”
“I never said he wasn’t.” Even though he’d threatened me. “He’s just always been there, waiting for his chance to swoop in, to sabotage our relationship. Now he’s sabotaging it in a whole new way.”
“I think he got the worse end of the deal…”
I sounded insensitive, but I just worried how long Charlotte would need. “I’m afraid she’s always going to feel guilty about what happened with him, so she’ll never really be happy. She’ll never be herself again. Kyle will always be in the back of her mind…”
“I’m not gonna lie, it might be that way for a long time.”
“And that’s not what I want.”
“You really haven’t been with anyone since you’ve been back?” He held his beer with both hands, his fingers covering the base of the bottle completely. “You must see mirages of pussy everywhere you go…”
I drank my beer to brush off what he said. “Haven’t been with anyone.”
“The whole world thinks Neil Crimson is getting ass handed to him… It’s ironic.”
There was only one ass I wanted. I continued to think about my problem until an idea popped into my head. “Hey, do you have any girlfriends? Someone we can set Kyle up with?”
Vic took a drink of his beer but then started to choke, spitting into his hand before he could get it down instead of on the rug. “Do I have any…” He held out his hand and made air quotes. “Girlfriends?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Dude, Stacy trusts me, but if I had girlfriends, Stacy would beat their ass.”
“I just mean do you know anyone we can set up with Kyle.”
He shook his head. “Stacy can turn full psycho, so no, I don’t know anyone. She’s the jealous type. I can’t have friends anyway, look at me.”
I rolled my eyes. “No one at the office?”
“God, no. I just do my job and come home. Don’t tell her I said this, but I still get offers all the goddamn time. They know I’m married and don’t give a shit.”
I cocked my head to the side. “And she has no idea?”
“I will murder you in your sleep if you say a word. I don’t care if you have a kid.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell your wife?”
“It’ll just make her feel bad. She’s had two babies in practically two years. She’s insecure. If I told her a twenty-two-year-old assistant in the office wants to suck my dick, she’d lose her goddamn mind. Come on, that’s hurtful.”
That made sense, and it was thoughtful that he didn’t brag about it, not even to me.
“Then, she might think I’m messing around on her every time I come home late, and I don’t want that. I’m never gonna fool around, so it doesn’t matter. A lot of guys in my office two-time their wives all the time, but that’s not me.” He shook his head and wiped up his beer with a napkin.
My brother had always been an honest guy, which was ironic since he was a lawyer. If he had a commitment, he honored it, and it wasn’t just because he loved his wife. It was also just the right thing to do. “I know it’s not.”
“Why get married if you’re gonna sleep around? Just don’t be married.”
I shrugged. “I don’t get it either.”
“In conclusion, I don’t have any girlfriends.”
“I was thinking…if we could find a really great girl for Kyle, maybe that would make Char feel better.”
“What makes you think he hasn’t?”
“Maybe he’s slept around, but I doubt he’s in a relationship with anyone of quality.”
“I can’t see him being with a lawyer anyway. Kyle is so chill, and lawyers are not chill.”
“Yeah, you aren’t chill at all.”
He glared at me. “Asshole. What about at NASA. You know anyone for him?”
The thought never crossed my mind. “Uh…I don’t know.”
“Like a young, hot astronaut? I can see Kyle going for that.”
“I mean, some of them are unmarried.”
“Set it up. Kyle is hot.”
“Amelia is available, but she’s got a kid…and she might launch next year.”
“Kyle doesn’t care about the kid thing, which women will probably be attracted to.”
I’d assumed he just made an exception for Charlotte. “I can ask.”
“You think he’d go for it?”
“That, I don’t know…”
“Honestly, Kyle doesn’t need us to play cupid for him. He’s a grown-ass man.”
“Yeah, but he only picks up women at bars. Charlotte is the first good woman he’s ever met. Maybe if he met someone else, like Amelia, he might appreciate it.”
He shrugged. “I don’t think Kyle is gonna want to be set up on a date by you.”
“Which is why you’re gonna do it.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m a lawyer. Not a flying cherub with an arrow.”
“Come on, do this for me.”
He sighed in annoyance.
“Just introduce them somehow. They don’t like each other, then no big deal.”
He sank back into the couch and took a deep drink of his beer. “Fine, but I’m only doing this for you.”
“You’re doing this for Charlotte too.”
“Yeah, I guess I am doing this for her.”
When I went to work the next day, I bumped into Amelia in the hangar.
“Hey, Amelia. How are you?” Our relationship had been tense after I overruled her, but once we made it back, she was grateful for my decision. The animosity faded away.
“Good. How’s the book coming along?” she teased.
“Halfway finished.”
“I want an autographed copy.”
I chuckled. “I want all of you to sign it too.”
She smiled then turned away.
“Amelia…are you seeing anybody?”
She turned back to me, one hand on her hip. “Is Neil Crimson asking me out? Because I thought you had a girl.”
I’d told everyone I did. “It’s actually for a friend of mine. Thought you two would match nicely.”
“Uh, I’m not looking for a dating service. And I have a son.”
“My friend isn’t turned off by that. His last relationship was with a woman who has a son.” My son.
Now she became more intrigued. “Go on.”
“He’s handsome, fit—”
“He got
a job?”
“He’s a lab scientist at the hospital. Owns a house.”
“Wow, he checks off all the boxes. Got a picture?”
I pulled out my phone and found a group photo of us at the barbecue. “He’s the one in the gray t-shirt.”
Her eyes widened in noticeable interest. “Wow, he is hot.”
“Would I lie to you?”
She handed the phone back. “Is he a good guy?”
I nodded. “One of the best.”
“Alright, I’ll bite. Somewhere public. I don’t want him picking me up in case he’s an ax murderer.”
I slid my phone into my back pocket. “Fair enough. If you’re more comfortable, I can always come along too.”
“Nah. I’m a big girl.” She turned away so she could get to work. “Let me know the details.”
“So, it took a lot of persuading, but I did it.” Vic ordered a beer from the waitress then turned back to me.
“How is he?”
He shrugged. “He’s still pretty torn up, honestly. He’s not devastated, but he’s not himself either.”
If Charlotte knew that, she would feel sick. “Did he ask about her?”
“Asked if you guys were together, and I told him no. He was relieved.”
“Why would he be relieved?” He left her so she could be with me.
“It would probably hurt if she just jumped into a new relationship like theirs never happened. It’s respectful.”
“I guess…” I didn’t quite feel that way, because I’d waited so long to have her. I was in a rush, a rush to be happy, to finally have what I wanted. She and I were right for each other, and Kyle never was, so I didn’t want to wait.
“She’s yours for the rest of your life. It’ll happen.”
“I know. But how would you feel if you couldn’t have Stacy?”
He shook his head. “I’d probably just kill the guy.”
“And go to prison?” I asked incredulously.
“Asshole, I’m the best lawyer in this country. I’d get myself off—no problem.”
I laughed.
“And then she’d be mine.”
“Wow, how romantic,” I said sarcastically.
He shrugged and waggled his eyebrows. “I guess it is, huh.”
The second I knocked, Torpedo barked.
“Calm down,” Charlotte said on the other side. “You know it’s gonna be Neil.” She opened the door, wearing a blue sundress with her hair in curls. She looked so beautiful, like she did herself up just for me. “Hey…”
I held up the bag. “I brought dinner.”
“Ooh…what is it?”
“Burgers and fries.”
“Wow, you really are a hero.” She was in a better mood since the last time I saw her, after she told me how she felt and that she wasn’t ready. Maybe she was relieved there were no midnight texts from me, that I didn’t pursue her at all, like I said I wouldn’t. “Come in.”
I carried the bag inside and set it on the table. Kingston was on the floor, playing with his toys. “Hey, King.”
He raised his arms. “Daddy!”
I kneeled down and picked him up, holding him with a single arm, noticing the weight change every time I didn’t see him for a few days. “You’re getting so big. Such a strong boy.” I kissed his forehead and admired his perfection, seeing my own father in him, at least what I’d seen through the pictures.
Charlotte smiled as she watched. “My two boys…” She walked over and pinched his foot in his sock before carrying the food to the kitchen. “I’m starving. Let’s put him in the high chair.”
“Hungry?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he said quietly.
I put him in the high chair and served him his meal.
We sat together at the table and, as a family, ate together. Charlotte told me about her week at work, and I told her about the systems I was repairing for the ship. Kingston occasionally interrupted us when he made a mess on his face or dropped food onto the ground.
“I got his name changed,” I said. “NASA gave me some help to do it through back channels.”
“Oh, that’s great. Kingston Crimson is a perfect name…”
“Yeah, he’s gonna be a ladies’ man.”
“Because you’re a ladies’ man?” she teased.
“Was,” I corrected. “And no. He’s gonna be much cuter than I ever was.”
She smiled then grabbed a few fries before placing them in her mouth. “How’s your book?”
“Good. I’ve gotten to Mars.”
“Wow, I’m sure it’s gotten really interesting now.”
I shrugged. “That’s up for interpretation.”
After dinner, we gave Kingston a bath, got him into his pajamas, and then put him to bed. It was late so I should probably leave, but I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay forever, put my house on the market and forget it existed.
She moved to the entryway, like she was prepared to say goodbye.
I couldn’t leave her, not when she looked so beautiful in that dress. “You want to read it?”
“You brought it with you?”
“It’s on my phone.” I pulled it out of my pocket and opened the file. I handed it to her before I grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a seat on the couch.
She sat beside me and read through the chapters, getting to the part where the explosion happened and my whole world changed. She was obviously really into it, but she never asked a question, never paused from the text, just kept scrolling through.
I wrote everything from my perspective, my narration, so I talked about the family I left behind on Earth, the video messages that I exchanged with my brother and sister-in-law. So I was honest about Charlotte and openly admitted that I left behind the woman I loved without telling her how I felt…and that was my biggest regret of all. I traveled across the solar system and realized that love triumphed everything else, and I was determined to get back, determined to right my wrong.
She kept reading until the paragraph abruptly ended because I’d had to leave. But she stared at the blank white screen like she was still reading, like the words were there even if she couldn’t see them. She slowly lowered the phone and stared straight ahead. “I can’t believe you put that in here…”
“That’s what happened, baby.” It was such a big component of the story, of my feelings, the way I experienced that journey. I couldn’t omit it, not when that feeling of loneliness was so integral to being in space, how adventure could only bring you despair instead of excitement. That experience changed my priorities, gave me an epiphany I may not have realized in another circumstance. “In the next section, I’m going to talk about the message I recorded for you…even though I knew you would never see it.”
She turned to me, a thin film of moisture on her eyes.
“I have it…if you want to see it.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up the video I’d downloaded from the server. I was able to manually retrieve it, so NASA didn’t even know about it. The thumbnail was a picture of me sitting there, my head down, the date in the right-hand corner.
She stared at the screen but didn’t press play. “I…I’m not sure if I can watch this.” She lowered the phone. “I could barely read what you wrote.” She inhaled a deep breath, trying to steady her tears.
“Baby…” My hand went to her back, and I scooted closer to her.
“I know how it’s going to make me feel, and I’m just not ready. Every time I looked up at the stars, I thought of you. Even when I thought you were dead for a year, I still thought of you. Every time I looked at our son, I thought about the man that I’d lost. My feelings for you never changed, not even in death. The way I felt about Kyle…was a totally different thing. Now that I have you back, knowing that you thought about me all that time when I was with someone else…makes me feel terrible.”
“Don’t feel terrible,” I said quickly. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. You had every right to do what you did.”
“I know…but I wish I hadn’t. I wish I’d waited.”
“You did wait, Char. You waited until I was declared dead. You had to move on.”
She turned the phone over and set it on her thigh.
I grabbed it then texted it to her. “Watch it whenever you’re ready.” My arm moved around her, and I pulled her close, letting her rest her face in my neck, lean against me for support. My fingers touched her waistline, my nose smelled her skin, my eyes looked at her sexy legs because her dress had risen. My heart ached because I loved this woman so much, and I’d hurt her in a way that was unacceptable. I couldn’t change the past so I should let it go, but it was hard…when I saw her like this. We loved each other, but our souls were still a universe apart.
I lay back on the couch and pulled her with me.
She didn’t resist, lying down, her leg tucking between mine just the way she used to. Her arm circled my waist, and she held me tightly, like she needed the comfort.
I pulled the blanket over us both, bringing it to her shoulders so she wouldn’t be cold in that little dress. It was the first time we’d been together this way, close, touching, lying in the dark like we would go to sleep together.
She hugged me tighter, holding me like a lover, when she just wanted to be friends. Her lips moved against my neck as she spoke. “I love you so much…”
It was the first time I’d heard her say those words like that, without context, without explanation. It was just raw emotion, a confession from her heart.
My lips slid to her hairline, and I kissed her there. “I love you too, baby.”
Twenty-Eight
Charlotte
“Aww, there’s my baby.” I moved to the floor, where Kingston played with his toys with Victor. “How are you, sweetheart?”
“Good.” He kept playing. “Victor and I built a house.”
“Wow, there’s very nice.” I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss.
Stacy joined me, holding her newborn. “So, I heard through the grapevine Kyle went on a date with an astronaut.”
I immediately turned to her, my eyebrows high and full of surprise. “What?”