by Elias Raven
“Acceptance letters from…” was the next bit I had managed to read and then I shrieked realizing what my mom was losing her mind over and raced up the walkway and bounded up the steps like a gymnast doing a freestyle routine in the Olympics. Buttons leaped aside and gave me that pissed off look that only a cat can give you when you dare to disturb “the routine.”
I was greeted by both my parents at the front door before I could even open the screen.
I breathlessly held up my cell phone and pointed at the text messages.
“Kathy and Sarah said something about acceptance letters…” was all I got out and then my mom whipped out a stack of letters that all looked very official and handed them to me smiling.
Chapter 3
My parents had the weirdest look on their faces. If you have ever seen “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase when he gets the letter from his company thinking it’s his bonus check. Yeah, it was that kind of look.
“Well open them up honey!” my dad cajoled.
“Yes, honey! It’s a big moment!” my mom chimed in.
“The passing of the torch, another generation to join the ranks and all that!” my dad joined in.
I thought for a minute they were going to start singing for she’s a jolly good fellow.
I looked at them both nervously, even as my phone started buzzing indicating a call coming in.
Before my parents could react, I pulled out the phone from my back pocket and seeing it was a group call reached down and answered my phone.
“Seriously you two! Like I lost half the charge on my phone with all the text messages and voicemails! Yes! Yes! I got the letters and my parents are ready to do a Homer Simpson strangle on me if I don’t open them!” I exclaimed.
Both my friends started laughing even when my mother stated the obvious.
“My goodness, from the way you two are acting, you both got your letters too?” she stated trying her best to look innocent… Yeah, I wasn’t buying that shit either.
I looked at my mom incredulously.
“Wait, you know what they got! Seriously mom!” I yelled and smiled play hitting her sweater.
My mom pulled out her cell phone and held it up for me to see. There were a gazillion messages on the screen from my friends. I shook my head and held my hand to my mouth. They were both nuts, but I loved them dearly.
There were five letters from five different libraries. Two of them were from New York and three other letters were from Boston and Pennsylvania. The most notable ones were The New York Public Library, The J.P. Morgan Library & Museum, The George Peabody Library, The Beinecke Rare Book & Manuscript Library and The Braddock Carnegie Library.
“That’s it? We applied to like twenty different libraries mom!” I said aloud trying really hard not to hide my disappointment.
“Honey, if you look at the quality of the institutions that replied to you, I think you will see your top five candidates that you wanted to work for responded,” she replied and moved her glasses up her nose to make it look more official.
“Yeah hun, always look at the bright side!” my dad chimed in.
Sometimes the obvious eludes us! I mean not only did the Carnegie respond, but so did the Morgan! I didn’t want to move out of New York, but my parents would help me find a place if I got accepted out of state. They were all great opportunities.
Suddenly two voices erupted out of my phone like a Queen concert!
“Open them already!” the girls shouted.
I started with the out of state libraries first, figuring if they were rejection letters, I could handle it better. The worst-case scenario would be five no’s and me grabbing a quart of Mint Ice Cream and my favorite chocolate mint candy and sitting in front of my television and watching Fifty First Dates and having a moment to lose my shit.
I tore open the letter from The Beinecke first. You could have heard a pin drop as everyone remained silent.
Dear Ms. Murphy,
On behalf of The Beinecke Library, we would like to thank you for sending us your application. At this time we are looking for someone with more experience, but we would like to thank you…
(I don’t remember much after that point)
Sincerely,
Aldon Sinclair
Chief Curator (blah blah)
I had never been rejected before. At least not in my academic or employment endeavors. Now boys were a whole different story, but this was like a cheap gut-punch hair pulling moment. I swear I could feel Mother Nature ticking off my period at that moment because you know that’s what happens when you have an FML moment. My hands were shaking as I handed the letter to my parents.
My dad took the letter before my mom could grab it and pushing back his grey metal-framed glasses scanned the letter.
“Screw’em, honey they don’t know what they're missing out on!” he replied.
I know my dad and this was his moment to comfort me and do the dad thing and encourage me.
Then the cheering section on my phone joined in.
“Keep going, keep going!” the girls yelled. My mom just threw her hands up and laughed.
Grabbing letter two I opened the Braddock and like the first letter it was a cordial thanks, but no thanks kind of affair I handed letter two to my mom. She didn’t even look at it and threw it over her shoulder like an end of the day bra that needed to come off!
“Keep going, keep going!” she cheered!
I opened the letter from The Peabody next and it was a tad longer with some colorful metaphors and veiled suggestions to meet the stringent guidelines entailed in joining the staff of this illustrious institution politically correct (blah blah) rejection letter.
My mom yanked it from my hand like she was a cheetah, reading my body language perfectly, and then my friends chimed in singing the opening stanza from “Somebody to Love,” by Queen.
My dad at this point put his head in his hands and without thinking I tossed the last two letters in the air. Everything happened in slow motion as my mom's lips pursed, her glasses flying back up her head as hairpins fell loose;
“No!!!” she exclaimed.
She jumped up like it was the Super Bowl. The game was on the line it all came down to this play and as the clock ticked down to 0:00, she caught them both in mid-air and landed firmly with her feet planted as the crowd erupted and fireworks went off. Ok maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but it was pretty darn impressive nonetheless!
I just looked at my mother incredulously.
“Vegas odds baby! Two more rolls to go!” she said and then pushed her glasses back and let her hair loose.
I had never been to Las Vegas before, but then everything kind of slipped into that finite moment. I looked at the letters and opened the one from The New York Public Library (main).
Dear Ms. Murphy,
On behalf of the Chairs and Trustees of The New York Public Library System, we would like to extend this offer for employment as…
(I blanked out again as I fell against my front door).
My dad (bless his heart), beat my mom to the punch and snatched the letter from my hand. My mom had already grabbed my wrists and pulled me back up to a standing position.
“Honey, go fetch a cold washcloth please?” she said quietly.
My fan club on the phone, were both talking at once.
“What did it say? Paige are you ok?” they asked.
I shook my head for a second as my father came running up and handed my mom the cold washcloth. My mom rubbed it over my face and neck and I came around and answered my glee club.
“I got my first acceptance letter from The New York Library!” I yelled.
There was pandemonium for a second as they replied!
“Us Too!” They said in unison.
Then they broke into a chorus of Somebody To Love again. I couldn’t stop laughing. My mom joined in the laughter and then ordered me to open the last one.
I could hear ‘Open... Open... Open…’ in the backgroun
d, as I cracked the seal.
Dear Ms. Murphy,
On behalf of the J.P. Morgan Museum and Library, after careful consideration and review of your academic majors and minors and past employment history, we would like to extend this offer of employment…
(I passed out again)
This time I actually landed on my ass on the floor with my back against the door. All around me was pandemonium as my mom grabbed the letter and tried to grab my wrists, but didn’t quite make it.
At that point, my cat Buttons decided it was time to play and leaped over my mom and landed on my lap and dug her claws in. That woke me up in a hurry as I let out a scream.
“Owwww!!!!” I yelled at the cat.
The cat being clueless just dug in harder and then buried head and body between my splayed legs like I was a big stuffed animal.
My dad grabbed the cat and pulled him off and tossed him unceremoniously onto the couch. My mom was slapping my face and hands. My girlfriends were yelling into the speakerphone asking what happened and my mom grabbed the phone and told them both;
“Call you back! Bye!” and hung up!
I slowly came too and then through blurry eyes looked at my parents.
“Did I black out again?” I asked.
“Yes dear, we weren’t quick enough to catch you,” she replied, smiling down at me.
Then it all came rushing back and I rolled onto my knees and got up with their help.
“I got accepted by both of the places we wanted!” I yelled.
I started leaping up and down and my mom handed me my phone and told me to call the girls!
I hit the speed dial and was greeted by more Queen music. I just started laughing as did my parents and then after more leaping around and joy, my friend Kathy Bottom’s voice cut through it all.
“Did you get accepted by number one and two!” she asked.
“Well, I don’t have to use the bathroom, Kathy,” I replied being a smart ass.
“So, where are we going to go Paige?!” they asked loudly.
Both libraries were nice and both quite famous.
“Did I hear The Morgan?” my friend Sarah yelled!
“Hell yes!!” I replied and it was decided right then and there.
My dad ever the pragmatist said:
“Are you sure you won’t reconsider?” he asked, smiling.
I just walked across the hallway and threw my arms around the big bear’s neck.
“Nope, our minds are made up!” I replied.
My parents just beamed at me as the music from the song started playing over the loudspeaker on my phone. We all started singing Somebody To Love! It was one of those times you never forget. Each of us is taking a different part of the song. My dad liked to do the deeper parts and my mom picked up the mid tenor. I always liked to sing high like Freddie and Brian. My girlfriends didn’t care; they just screamed it out because it was time to cut loose.
It was a Wayne’s World in the front seat of the AMC Hornet kind of moment. I don’t remember the writer's name that said it, but the moment was indelibly etched into my psyche forever.
Chapter 4
After I emotionally crash-landed back on planet Earth and hung up with the girls, I suddenly realized how hungry I was.
“I’m starving!” I said aloud.
“Do we have any of that leftover Lasagna in the fridge?” I continued looking at both of my parents expectantly.
My dad rolled his eyes and gave my mom that scheming look that only parents can give each other and whistled surreptitiously. I crossed my arms the moment I saw the look and heard the whistle. My dad might as well have been a bobby in England. The whistle was a dead giveaway that the proverbial jig was up.
“What do you two have planned?” I asked. I looked at both of them like the girl from The Grudge.
My dad smiled and then rubbed the back of his head.
“Well you see honey when your mom came in earlier yelling about acceptance letters; I booked reservations at Frankie’s
“Frankie's in Brooklyn?” I didn’t even know what to say. It was my favorite place in the world to eat, but I also knew it wasn’t cheap. I tried to be practical;
“Hey, we don’t have to spend all that! You just mortgaged the house for 30 years to pay for my education. We can do something chill, if you like and just have the girls come over for pizza or whatever.” I replied with my deeply practical self.
My dad held out his hand, then turned it palm side up and acted like it was raining.
“Honey, are you hearing this? Our daughter is passing on Frankie’s and wants to eat leftovers instead!” he said and harrumphed.
At the harrumph, I couldn’t hold back the giggle and threw my arms around my dad’s neck. My mom came over to get some love and I wrapped my arm around them both.
“I would be honored to have dinner with two of the most important people in my life at Frankie’s tonight,” I said.
“Then you better move your tail young lady!” My mom exclaimed.
I kissed their cheeks and ran up the stairs. The next thirty minutes was me stripping off slacks and comfy clothes and trying to find a bra and panty set that matched. I found a nice navy blue dress with white dots on it and my favorite matching navy blue southern girl hat with the full brim and a matching set of flats. I heard my mom calling my name and told her I was in the room. A hesitant knock and she came in wearing a black cocktail dress and heels and nodded her approval at my choice of wardrobe.
“You look absolutely beautiful and so grown up!” she said, and then I saw the telltale tear come down her eye and headed it off at the pass.
“None of that, we can have a P.S. I love you ugly girl cry after dinner!” I replied and grabbing a Kleenex dabbed my mom’s tears. My mom laughed and held my hands.
“You got a date!” she replied. We both hugged for a minute then heard my dad in his deep booming voice.
“Ladies, the limousine is here and the driver said if you don’t get a move on, we will miss our reservation,” he said formally sounding the entire world like a British butler.
My mom took my arm and we headed out the bedroom door. My father was waiting at the bottom of the stairs dressed in a nice grey pinstripe suit. He beamed when he saw us.
“Now, how did I get so lucky as to have the company of two such beautiful ladies this evening?”
He said and handed us each an arm. Taking his arms we headed out to the Lincoln Town Car that was his daily driver.
“Now be careful dear. Traffic is always heavy at this time of evening.” my mom admonished him. My dad looked at me over my mother's head and I laughed despite myself.
My mom whipped a thumb over her shoulder in my direction.
“Is he giving you the Wile E Coyote look again?” she asked, chuckling.
“Yep! Beep, Beep!” I replied.
It had been a running joke in our family. One of my dad’s hobbies was actually figuring out how to make some of the coyote’s contraptions work. Since I was a toddler, we had watched The Road Runner show and my dad would putter away in the garage making props from the cartoons. Everything from the Help! signs down to the Acme gadgets. Some guys liked to do train sets, not my dad. Nope, Road Runner was his thing. Growing up it sure made for interesting Halloween’s!
My reverie was broken by my father slamming on the brakes, trying not to rear-end a black BMW that had cut in front of him on the exit.
My father dodged around him and deftly weaved through the rest of traffic and almost with a flourish, we pulled up to the restaurant to find Kathy and Sarah already dressed up and waiting for us in the bar area.
Chapter 5
The smell of Italian food wafted through the air as we walked up. My mouth literally turned into a waterfall. I mean I wanted to make perfume out of that smell, it was so delicious! I didn’t care if I smelled like Lasagna and garlic bread for the rest of my life! Heck, it would keep all the pseudo vampires (creepy obsessive guys) away that’s for sure! We wal
ked into Frankie’s like we owned the place. My dad was dressed in his nicest grey pinstripe suit and had four ladies on his arms going into the restaurant, well let’s just say my daddy was styling something fierce. Patty, the cute redhead that did Frankie’s reservations, was waiting for us with a huge smile on her face.
“OMG! You girls look absolutely fabulous! Your dad got lucky and was able to sneak in a reservation with me. We are sold out tonight!” she said beaming.
She handed us tickets and we handed our coats over to Sammy, the coat checker, he was one of Frankie’s long time employees.
Here, let me get those ladies!” he said smiling.
As if on cue, a set of black leather swinging doors opened (with the gold-lettered F’s emblazoned on the door Vegas style) and out came the man himself Frankie to see us.
His Italian was totally showing as he came out wearing a tux with cufflinks and all the accessories and looked like he had just come off the set of The Godfather!
“I told Patty to buzz me when you all got here! Look at you girls! Dressed to the nines and just graduated! Dinner is on me tonight folks, and I don’t want to hear one complaint Capiche! He lifted his hands to make sure we got the point. Us girls pounced on the smiling man and gave him a huge hug and thanked him profusely. He was beaming like Frank Sinatra during a Rat Pack concert.
“You all are like family to us! Nothing beats a family-style dinner with entertainment and tonight we are celebrating big!” he exclaimed.
We all just laughed at his grandiosity. He was fully in his element and enjoying every single minute of it.
“Oh, just one thing, I’d like your old man (the crooner) to duet with me in the lounge later, you know, to get your mother jealous as all the girl’s swoon... If you don’t mind, it being a party and all!” he said laughing then slapped my old man on the back.
My father straightened up and put his arm around Frankie and smiled and gave us a wink. I could see my mom clenching his arm tightly. It was an open secret my dad went from being a shower singer to moonlighting as a Dean Martin impersonator. He had the rugged good looks and totally could pass for Dean in a heartbeat and it was fun watching the old ladies swoon when my dad would croon with Frankie, who of course always did the man Frank Sinatra!