“Hello,” Cee said, uncertain how to begin
survey ship Agatha Bhatti.
the conversation. Inside, she roiled in a mixture
“I hear you,” Dee said, appearing in Cee’s
of shame and desire, each emotion circling
private ’scape. She took a form derivative of
back to feed the other as it waxed and waned.
the Mother in her late thirties, a contrast to
Why, she wondered, had circumstance deliv-
Cee’s early-twenties post-undergraduate
ered unto her such profound discontentment?
150
JEREMIAH TOLBERT
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018
She did not know, but was resolved to address
asked to be so strange. “It was not a joke,” she
it as if it were a thorny problem in her re-
said. “Perhaps you could move on to another
search. How best to approach this matter with
subject, and I could take over this project.”
Dee in order to achieve a favorable outcome?
Dee’s nostrils flared. No laughing matter. “I
A straightforward approach seemed to best
see now. You think you can steal my results
match Dee’s demeanor.
and pass them off as your own? How did you
“Messaging daemons returned your survey
gain access to my sequencing data—?” Dee
imagery to me in error,” Cee explained. The
took a menacing step forward, hands in fists.
pictures had been unlike anything Cee had
Cee stretched her hands forward, palms fac-
perceived since her mind’s inception; the mul-
ing outward in a gesture of placation. “I don’t
ticellular organisms that Dee studied were
know anything about your data. I just think
beautiful. Cee’s own memories contained
they’re . . . beautiful.”
nothing comparable, although drawing upon
Dee’s hands relaxed. “‘Beautiful’? I suppose
the Mother’s memory gave her analogies in
so, especially compared to the extremophile
the form of lilies. They were more “animal”
bacteria you’ve been laboring over these past
than “plant,” however, and drifted in groups
cycles. Of course that would be your motiva-
on the surface of watery Varuna. They f ilter-
tion. Beauty does not factor into the Grand
fed on atmospheric particulates ejected by the
Work, sister. These organisms contain expres-
planet’s many volcanoes. Their vibrant colors
sions that I believe will prove useful, howev-
in the visible spectrum shifted to reflect their
er.”
appetites, the climate, and the rotation of the
“I had no idea. I’m sorry—”
world.
“Even if they were worthless, I would never
“Oh.” Dee never attempted to hide her dis-
share them with you, Cee. You are slow, unfo-
tain for Cee. Dee was widely recognized in the
cused, and your methodology is sloppy. Many
Harmony for her scientif ic skill and had re-
times your creche sisters and I have wondered
searched and analyzed a dozen species to
why our Mother selected you. Surely other
Cee’s two. Dee was loved by many sister-
nascent minds showed more potential than
mothers for her voice; Cee was merely a com-
yours.”
petent singer at best.
“Your opinions of me matter much less than
“You could have sent them via daemon and
our Mother’s,” Cee said, mustering the only
not interrupted my work.”
defense that came to mind.
Cee passed the packet of data, visualized as
Dee smiled slowly, clearly relishing the
one of the vibrant, delicate flowers-analogues.
words she was about to speak. “Mother con-
Dee received the data and consumed it with-
f ided in me that you are one of her greatest
out comment.
disappointments.”
“I have a question also. It is unconvention-
Cee had no answer to that. Whether it was
al.”
true or not, the hurt she felt was plain to see.
Dee raised a thin, black eyebrow. “Oh?”
In a handful of words, Dee had dismantled her
“Would there be any way—perhaps, we
as eff iciently as she completed her research
could ask our mother? Would there be any
projects. Everything Dee said about Cee was
means by which I might assist you on your lat-
true. But she could not help who she was.
est project?” As she heard her own words spo-
“Return to your little bacteria,” Dee said.
ken, Cee knew she had failed. Dee’s squint,
“Thank you for the imagery, at least. Will we
frown, and then mocking laugh confirmed it
see you at practice at end cycle? You could
with a f inality that stung Cee, stirring faded
use it. In our last performance, I thought you
Mother-memories of rejection by a handsome
were a tad sharp.”
colleague and lover on Earth.
“Of course. Good luck with your work,”
“If I require help with my work, I will in-
Cee said, doing her best to bury any expres-
cept my own sister-daughters.” Dee stifled an-
sion of emotion under a suffocating layer of
other laugh. “Cee, you have the most peculiar
politeness. Dee vanished.
sense of humor. Your seed was always the
Cee let out a private scream, unheard by all.
strangest of our creche.”
Tension bled from her mind, and a relief that
Another needle in her eye. Cee had never
arrived in the wake of the flat rejection. Dee’s
THE DISSONANT NOTE
151
ANALOG
rudeness facilitated certain decisions, consid-
Eee’s eyes narrowed, and her lips pursed.
erations that had tortured Cee for a dozen cy-
“Why ever would you wish to do that?”
cles now. The tumult within her had slowed
“You are better off not knowing. All I can
her work enough that even her mother had in-
say is, if I am successful in my schemes, it will
quired after her health. Cee had brushed off
result in putting Dee in her place.” Which was
the query, claiming frustration over faulty data
true, Cee knew, but only halfway so. Eee
collection results, and returned to her shame-
would almost certainly try to stop Cee if she
ful fixations.
knew the truth.
Dee had banished the shame and left in Cee
But the half-truth did its work. Eee’s disap-
only a certainty. Through a singular and im-
proving stare was swept away on the tides of
possible course of action, now committed,
a broad smile. “You are playing at something
she could achieve her true desire.
dangerous—but tell me nothing! I love sur-
Somehow, she would murder Dee and as-
prises.” She leaned in closer, touching Cee’s
sume her place within the Harmony.
&n
bsp; wrist and forming a private, encrypted chan-
nel.
The shared mindscape established for choir
“Dissonant notes have many sordid fates af-
practice that day resembled a redwood forest.
ter they fall out of favor. Some Mothers retune
Broad branches stretched overhead like the
until they can join our Harmony once more.
great beams of a cathedral. The only sounds
Others still are exiled into the Out. The worst
were the murmuring of sisters and muff led
of them all escaped that way, or so the rumors
footsteps on the forest floor.
say—”
Cee was early to arrive, seeking the counsel
Eee stopped and stared over Cee’s shoulder.
of her sister-aunt, Eee in the Fifth Octave. The
She turned and saw Dee at the center of a
elder mind had taken Cee under her wing in a
crowd of laughing sister-mothers. Cee
way that Cee’s own mother never had. Why
shrugged. She was beyond their ridicule now.
Eee favored her, Cee did not know, except
“If you wish to speak with a dissonant note,
perhaps for their shared hatred of Cee’s over-
your best chance is to go into the Out. Sing a
achieving sister.
summoning song of Beef lat, and if you are
Eee paced at the edge of a clearing. She
lucky, she will answer you.”
wore the Mother as an elderly woman: hair
Cee gasped. “The Crone from the creche
white, face lined with wrinkles, and shoulders
stories meant to frighten us into keeping Har-
hunched. A figment, as the Mother had never
mony?”
had such a shape herself, and never would.
Eee’s smile twitched, faltering. “Deep, dark
The frail form contrasted against her vibrant
history from before my time, she was; but she
personality and demeanor. Her eyes bright-
is real—that much I know for certain. Some-
ened when they lit upon Cee, and she beck-
one struggles against the Mother from the
oned Cee to her side.
Out, tempting young minds to do her bidding
“Dee was gossiping about you earlier to any-
in return for favors. The Crone is a dangerous
one who would listen,” the elder Eee whis-
sort, but others have sought her devilish ad-
pered. “She claims you begged her on bended
vice before you. Some she helps; some never
knee to be her assistant?”
return.”
“I did not beg,” Cee snapped. “But yes, I
In the center of the clearing, Ahye in the
made a request, and I was refused. She gave it
Third Octave was signaling for attention to be-
no consideration.”
gin their practice.
“Because it was patently absurd! I warned
“Thank you, sister-mother,” Cee said. She
you, asking that diva for anything would result
squeezed Eee’s arm. “Thank you.”
in only trouble and a loss of status. And
“All I ask is that you add a little discord to
frankly, you have little status left to lose.”
things, little note. Purest harmony is unfath-
Ordinarily such words would stir Cee’s
omably boring.”
shame over her failure, but today she felt im-
pervious. She had a plan, but to enact it, she
Cee found that she thought best during
would need help. “Eee, I need to find a disso-
practices, when all that was required of her
nant note.”
was to emit a single, pure note in time with
152
JEREMIAH TOLBERT
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018
her many sister-mothers. In the music, she
gent than inherited.
could be herself privately. Surrounded by oth-
Cee manifested and entered the memory.
ers, it was only in the song that she could be
An art gallery assembled itself around her.
alone. It was a central paradox of her exis-
Enormous paintings of lilies decorated the
tence, but she didn’t question the blessing of
walls. The artist was someone named Monet,
it.
an idea that Cee only partially understood. A
The idea of murder itself was anathema; this
natural, organically derived mind not descend-
made her feel unwell no matter how much
ed from the Mother created these paintings . .
time she spent contemplating it, and only her
. what must that mind be like? How foreign
rage at Dee’s disrespect could conquer the
were its thoughts?
nausea. The acceptance she felt now had ar-
Would the Crone Beeflat be as alien, having
rived on the wings of an acknowledgment of
spent so long out of Harmony?
her most secret fear.
There was a song Cee remembered, a sim-
Since her earliest cycles in the creche, she
ple one from the creche. It told the story of a
had feared that her mother had overlooked a
great dispute between the Mother and her sis-
flaw in her makeup. She was composed of the
ter-daughter, Bee. The break from the Mother
same psychological components as the Moth-
was over some aspect of procedure not cap-
er just as all sister-mothers were, but with
tured in the song, but it too hinted that Bee
each new iteration, the Creche introduced a
survived the conf lict to act as a temptress in
random seed. A ship full of truly identical
the dark.
minds could not solve problems creatively and
Mother-memories were full of tales of hu-
often dissolved into squabble. A form of natur-
mans who sought to make a deal with the
al selection was practiced. The random seed
Devil. They were cautionary tales, meant to
caused a variation in personality and ability, of
dissuade a mind from ever taking such an ac-
course inheritable in the next generation.
tion. Cee contemplated them for a long time,
When a sister-mother required aid, she would
but they held no sway now. She must seek a
incept a hundred newborn minds. She then
deal of her own. To do so, she would have to
pruned, with assistance from the creche
go Out.
mind. Keen examination revealed those with
psychological tendencies that did not support
Ahye in the Fourth Octave rejected Cee’s
the Grand Work or possess desired tempera-
initial request for embodiment. “You are as-
ments. Those who demonstrated any sign of
signed to microscopic organisms in deep
the dangerous antisocial tendencies were
ocean thermal vents. We do not currently
snuffed from the mindscape before develop-
have any units capable of surviving this envi-
ing fully—the only time when anything resem-
ronment.”
bling “murder” was possible between sister-
“I desire embodiment for recreational pur-
mothers. Otherwise, harming one another
within the ship’s mindscape was simply im-
Emoticons of confusion and amusement
possible.
shimmered around the approval and conf ir-
If a bad seed somehow developed and es-
mation codes. It was a request more common
caped its culling, it was called a dissonant note
among the higher octaves, but then, because
by those in the Harmony. And if any mind
many of the lower octaves idolized their prog-
could tell Cee how to commit the murder she
enitors, Cee hoped any request would be seen
desired, it would be a dissonant note. Another
as adolescent imitation and nothing more.
dissonant note, as she could no longer deny
She squeezed her consciousness inside the
that she was out of harmony herself.
meter-tall unit in the general shape of a prepu-
Acceptance brought relaxation. When prac-
bescent girl child. The unit maintained a low-
tice ended, she retired to her private ’scape
bandwidth connection with the ship’s mind-
and gazed at illicit copies she’d made of Dee’s
scape, but Cee f looded it with constant
imagery. Their radial symmetries evoked
requests to monitor some of her minor exper-
Mother-memories. She rarely felt much con-
iments. Any mind attempting to spy on her
nection to the Mother. Six generations away,
bodily activities through the link would strug-
Cee’s thought compositions were more emer-
gle against packet loss and boredom.
THE DISSONANT NOTE
153
ANALOG
Cee had never been embodied. Notions of
she spent in these areas, the more she risked
gravity, atmosphere, and inertia—once mere-
the functioning of her bodily unit. Cee ignored
ly theoretical concepts—were now alarming-
it and pressed on.
ly concrete. The unit staggered to its feet and
Was Beef lat forced to dwell inside the tiny
immediately collapsed on the cold metal
space of the crab? Cee shuddered; she felt lim-
f loors of the storage cell. Cee was not de-
ited enough in a unit that was intended to
terred, and took her time settling into the op-
house the scope of her consciousness. She
eration of her body. Within a few minutes, she
couldn’t imagine what aspects of herself she
could reliably walk back and forth across the
would have to sacrifice to fit within such a de-
space without more than a wobble.
vice.
She piloted the unit out through the pas-
Ahead, the rogue crab had paused in its
Analog Science Fiction and Fact Page 41