by Sajni Patel
Heat prickled up the back of my neck. I tried not to glance at Jahn, who probably grinned like an idiot, or look at Kaajal’s parents, who waited for my response.
But Kaajal herself gave plenty of space and an out. “I’ll have to get your information later and check out my schedule. Let me say hi to Shilpa first, before she gets inundated with gifts and pictures.” She held up a gold-wrapped box and meandered toward the girls, while her parents and I were left alone to an inevitable conversation.
It was all grilling from there. Where I went to school, what I did for work, when I planned to make partner. But when they inched into what type of car I drove, I assumed to gather income level without blatantly asking, I clenched my jaw. I thought Mukesh Uncle was supposed to be known for his humility.
“Best car on the lot,” I gritted out and smiled at Ma. “Have you eaten?”
She shook her head as Mukesh Uncle opened his mouth to press.
“You should sit, Ma. I’ll make you a plate. Excuse us…”
I planted her on the couch, one seat away from Shilpa’s “mother-to-be” throne, and took my time piling a plate and pouring a drink before I returned to her.
Shilpa and Jahn stood behind the mystery cake, topped with green and purple, gender-neutral colors. She placed a hand on her belly as Jahn spoke to the crowd. “Thank you, everyone, for coming and celebrating this moment with us. We hope you’re enjoying this amazing food, and shout-out to the moms and aunties and sisters who made this party so amazing.”
The room applauded.
Shilpa added, “We tried to hold out as long as possible to find out the gender of the baby, but we felt that it would be nice to share with our closest family and friends. I hope we can all be excited together.”
“It’s a girl, look at how high her belly is,” an auntie said confidently.
Preeti rolled her eyes in the corner. Unscientific talk about pregnancy and delivery and anything medical probably sounded like nails raking against a chalkboard to her.
“So, here goes!” Shilpa and Jahn held the knife together and cut a slice, slowly, on the side facing them.
Half the room groaned, “Come on!”
Shilpa giggled as they made the second cut and carefully pulled out the slice. She gasped and Jahn pumped a fist in the air. I knew in that moment that the interior of the cake was blue. A rush filled me. There was going to be another Shah male.
“Yes!” I hollered before the rest of the crowd stood on their toes and nearly toppled over each other to snag a view.
Jahn turned the cake around and everyone cheered when they saw blue. “It’s a boy!”
“We’re going to have a son!” Shilpa added and wiped tears from her cheeks.
Ma waved her over and embraced her before anyone else had the chance. Once everyone else hugged Shilpa, I wrapped my arms around her last and said with a pounding heart, “Congratulations, Bhabhi, I’m crazy excited for you guys.”
She pulled away and patted my arm. “You’re going to be the best kaka ever.”
“That’s right. Kid’s going to be a superstar. He won’t want for a single thing.”
She dabbed her eyes and nodded, her lips quivering as she took to her throne. We gathered around her while she opened gifts. Some sat on the floor, several had chairs, the rest of us stood off to the side. Liya stood beside the backyard French doors, but straightened up when Shilpa picked up her gift.
Her sister read the card, announcing, “This one is from Liya.”
Shilpa gasped and removed the giant basket of soaps, lotions, candles, loofas, and god knew what else. Then she removed a miniature version. “This is one of my favorites! I love the smell of lavender! And I was just getting low on bath bubbles. This silk eye mask is so soft!”
“That has nothing to do with a baby,” an auntie beside me muttered.
Liya pushed away from the wall, holding her plastic flute of nonalcoholic drink as if it were a delicate piece of expensive crystal. “It’s not the usual baby shower gift, but you’ll get so many clothes and toys and books and diaper cakes. But I figured you deserve something to help you relax and unwind. I heard the best things about those foot soak bombs.”
“Ooh! I need those!”
“And the mini-basket is for your trip to the hospital. Their soaps suck, right, Preeti?”
Preeti nodded. “Just a generic, tiny bar that lasts a day.”
“So you’ll have everything you need for an invigorating shower after all that hard work. You won’t have to feel like you’re in the hospital.”
“It’s perfect! Thank you, Liya! So thoughtful!” Shilpa chirped, all misty-eyed.
It was a thoughtful gift. I wasn’t creative enough to conjure up diaper cakes nor would’ve thought to come up with a relaxation for mommy basket.
The girls clapped and the aunties hushed, but Liya tossed a smug smile their way. One auntie tucked her hair behind her ear, turning her head at the same time to mutter something into another auntie’s ear. It sparked a fire in my chest, a need to defend Liya. No wonder she didn’t feel comfortable in these crowds. They had a particularly rage-inducing way of alienating Liya.
I had to ignore my gut feeling to speak up, according to Jahn’s warning, but when I looked away, I caught Liya’s glance at them. Something in her smug features crumbled. But only for a moment. She hardened, sipped her drink, and giggled with the rest of her friends when Shilpa opened a breast pump.
“Try it on!” Jahn teased.
The room erupted with laughter and gasps as everyone threw ribbons and clips at him. He expertly dodged them, and for the love of all this baby stuff, I had to derail my thoughts before I imagined my sister-in-law using a breast pump.
In all the movement, it was easy not to notice Kaajal sneaking up beside me. And even easier not to catch Liya slipping away. But I noticed. And Liya Thakkar wasn’t getting away that easily.
Chapter Sixteen
Liya
My heart pounded out a wicked beat. The haunting whispers and gossip of those vicious aunties. If I could slap the snide looks off their faces, the world would be a better place.
Well, I would forget them. This party wasn’t for them, but for my new friend. And she was pleased with my gift. How many diaper cakes did one need, anyway? Plus, the aunties were just full of old wives’ tales and useless crap.
At least I saw Momma. I loved that Jay’s mother seemed to have a radiant effect on her.
I had a good time with Shilpa, touching her belly and giggling over nipple cream. The food was delicious, all sorts of savory and sweet melting on my tongue. Most of the crowd treated me like any other person.
Things were fine. I could deal.
Until one of the girls muttered something about Jay and Kaajal being a good match. Kaajal? Mukesh’s daughter?
I glanced up, nonchalantly scanning the room for her. Finding Jay was easy these days. He was tall and commanding, broad with muscles beneath nice clothes. His deep voice carried, and when he smiled that smile, my insides sank like a roller-coaster ride taking its highest drop. The sort of feeling that people loved and desperately craved more of.
The fact that he attracted an equally gorgeous woman was not a head-scratcher. Kaajal was a tall, leggy, delicately curved girl with thick hair, light brown skin, and the features of a goddess.
My stomach turned queasy, and I didn’t understand why. I had turned Jay down and hoped he would leave me alone. It was only natural that another woman wanted him, that another auntie tried to hook her daughter onto him. But did he have to seem so comfortable with her? Like a stroll across the park; easy, relaxed.
The way he smiled at her and looked down at his feet every once in a while as he intently listened, pressing his lips so that his dimple showed…
Yeah. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to feel like this, attached to someone I didn’t want to be with. This feeling was nasty, disgusting, and brought up a vortex of weakness and vulnerability, all the things I refused to harbor.
No matter where I looked, my gaze fell on happy couples and joyous families. Why didn’t I have any of this? My relationship with my parents left much to be desired. My relationships with most people were superficial at best. My relationship with a man was nonexistent. I could strive for anything in the world and get it…except this. My baby shower, although I cringed at the thought of having kids, would never be this amazing. Never this sort of turnout and outpouring of love from family and community. Close friends? Yes, of course. Anyone else? Not a chance.
I didn’t want this, though…did I? I practically hated many of these people, and yet the way they showed their gratitude toward Shilpa and Jahn peeled away all the layers in my soul and laid open the devastating black hole of emptiness, of wanting, of not belonging.
Ugh. How utterly annoying.
So I said my goodbyes, snuck over to thank Shilpa, and slipped away.
The air outside was humid, but the breeze helped. I slowly walked down the driveway to the street, my hands shaking as I fumbled for my keys and unlocked the car. It beeped twice as the faint sound of running caught my attention.
A hand landed on my car door, and I jumped, swerved around, and readied myself to punch.
“Whoa!” Jay said, craning back to avoid a near swing. He grinned when I blew out a breath.
“What are you doing scaring me like that?” I covered my pounding heart.
“Where are you going?” he asked, seemingly disappointed.
“Home.”
“Why?”
“I have a headache.” It wasn’t a lie. I touched my fingertips to my throbbing temple.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Just a headache. All this work, no sleep, too much coffee.”
“No. I mean with them.” He cocked his head toward the house, worry cresting over his features.
I crossed my arms and leaned against the car, my shoulder against the cold, metal frame. “You think they faze me?”
“Nothing fazes you. Did you have a good time, otherwise?”
“Yeah. I did.”
He leaned into his arm, still across the top of the door, and into me. Our eyes made contact, and we were both too stubborn to break first.
“What?” I asked, tapping my shoe as impatience weaved through me. “Don’t you have someone waiting to talk to you in there?”
His beautiful lips curled up. “You sound kind of jealous.”
I arched a brow. “I already turned you down, remember?”
“You make me not even want to ask you.”
“Ask me what?”
The front door opened, and Kaajal peered her pretty, nosy head out. She looked me up and down, and I expected her to passive-aggressively interrupt us.
“Hey,” Jay muttered, drawing me back to his light brown eyes.
“What?”
“Can you ignore them?”
“You mean your girlfriend?” I bit my cheek, hating that she even bothered me. At this, I expected Jay to step back, give Kaajal a reassuring word, and return to the party. But he did none of those things.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, and I’m not interested in Kaajal.”
I casually shrugged, but the words came out bitter when I said, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“Then why are you suddenly tense?”
“No one is tense.”
“This isn’t tense?” he asked and took my wrists, gently shaking my fists loose and sending an electrifying jolt up my arms. His touch was warm, all-consuming, and suddenly I hungered for those hands all over me.
I had to gather myself before I could reply, “Are you sure that you want to be seen touching someone so unclean in front of your pious group?”
He moved in, mere inches from me, so close that his body heat and the slight scent of his mind-numbing cologne wrapped around my entire body, making it hard to breathe. But my lungs didn’t mind. They didn’t need air when he stood so close. Good lord, what was stupid Jay Shah doing to me?
“You look pretty clean to me.” He turned me to the side and leaned back to check me out. “Very nice.”
I hit his chest. “I bet there are a dozen people watching us through those curtains.”
He laughed. “Should we give them something to gossip about?”
Placing a hand against his hard chest, I pushed him. The man barely budged. “Get back to your party before the aunties drag you back inside,” I teased.
“Hey,” he said, taking my hand before I slipped into the car. “Go out with me.”
I scoffed. “Are you sure there wasn’t alcohol in those drinks?”
“Seriously, Liya. One date.”
“Why?”
“You have time for that answer? Because saying that I like you isn’t enough.”
Did the humidity spike? Because sweat beaded on the back of my neck. When was the last time a guy had made my stomach tie into knots? My entire body wanted to agree to his terms, but I had to stop myself and remember who we were. We would never work out, so why bother trying when it would lead to failure, to fights and heartbreak?
“No, Jay. I don’t want a date with you,” I said finally, swallowing the rancid lie down my throat. Glancing at the cross-armed Kaajal now flagrantly waiting on the porch, I replied, “She seems like a nice girl, though.”
I slid inside my car and closed the door. Jay didn’t move from the spot when I pulled away. Through the rearview mirror, I eyed him as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and watched me leave. Even when Kaajal appeared by his side, he kept his focus on me.
When I reached home, frustrated by the state of my neglected apartment, I took off my shoes and slipped out of my clothes on the way to the bedroom. My usual routine. Before I donned those sexy cleaning gloves to get on my knees and scrub the bathroom, I checked my texts out of habit.
My mouth, subsequently, dropped.
Preeti, Sana, and Reema had group texted me, and scrolling through the messages, a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and flattery pulsated through my veins.
The gist of the twenty-mile-long text chain was this: Jay had asked them to convince me to go out with him! The audacity! Who did he think he was, getting my friends involved? And to make matters worse, of course they were on Team Freaking Jay.
Reema: Do it.
Sana: Go out with him.
Preeti: What’ve you got to lose?
Sana: He’s so into you, we can tell.
Reema: He totally dismissed Kaajal.
All right, the last one made me smile.
Reema: Some auntie tried to grill him on why he was talking to you outside and he shut that down real quick.
I groaned. This was going to become some dramatic, unnecessarily huge ordeal that would add fodder to the gossip.
I tried to convince them to leave me alone, to let this all go, that I was not in the mood to date, much less get married. But they pushed back. For a while, the phone went silent and I scrubbed away, tossed laundry into the dryer, washed dishes, and pulled out the vacuum. Then someone rang the bell.
The girls. All three. Ambushed me.
I placed a hand on my hip, let out an unsteady breath, and opened the door. They barged in, chattering and chirping and clenching my arms, jumping up and down like teenagers. What in the world was going on?
Reema pulled out a bottle of champagne. Sana brought chocolates. Preeti searched for glasses. They hurried me to the couch, settled in around me, popped open the bottle, and poured.
“You better spill everything,” Reema said.
“There’s nothing to tell,” I replied.
“Yeah, right, there’s nothing to tell. This man came to us asking for support.”
“And a fine man at that,” Sana added, blushing.
I rolled my eyes. “You’re overreacting. He just wants, I don’t know, closure or something on why I walked out of meeting him.”
“You have to give him something for trying,” Sana said.
“I don’t owe
him anything.”
“If you heard how eloquently and matter-of-factly he shut down all those naysayers after you left, you would.”
“No one told him to do that.”
“But if you’d been there,” Reema said, “you’d be all up on him right this second.”
They giggled, and Sana’s blush deepened. She nodded in agreement.
“Let’s be practical for a minute, shall we?” I sat up. “Let’s say we went out and it didn’t end well. Do you know how much we’d fight? We already bicker all day.”
“He’s not argumentative,” Preeti replied. “He does that because you’re so easy to rile up and it’s the only way to keep you talking.”
“How do you know that?”
“He said so.”
I groaned. “You guys are ridiculous. Before you know it, my parents are involved, and other parents want to push their daughters in, and it’s a battle to the death, get him before he has a chance to make up his mind, eliminate everyone else at all costs.”
The girls were silent for a second before agreeing. Reema said, “Yeah, Gujarati matchmaking is pretty cutthroat. But anyway, that doesn’t mean you can’t give the guy a fair shot.”
I tapped my glass and watched the bubbles race to the surface. “Even worse, what if we like each other? Aunties would be descending upon us like vultures. Having them pry into him and his family…it’s a lot. For me, it’s just another day. For his family? They’d realize I’m not worth it.”
“You’re worth everything in the world,” Reema said.
My heart swelled, but I had to be honest. “He’s not ready to take on that sort of stress. He and his family fit in so well with the community, and I don’t. He should consider Kaajal.”
“But he doesn’t want Kaajal. Trust us, the amount of times he walked away from her was embarrassing.”
I choked down a laugh. “He wants to get married. I don’t.”