by Sajni Patel
“You were a whore even then!”
“I wasn’t. You’re my father! Where the hell was your parental protection?”
His slap was swift and hard and echoed against the walls, reverberating to shake my very core. My hand lifted to the hot, stinging sensation across my cheek and lip. My tongue tasted a metallic drop of blood. A disconcerting calm fell over me, cleared my thoughts, dried my tears, pacified my words.
“Pranad!” Momma wailed and pushed Dad away.
“I’m so sorry,” she wept as she touched my cheek, tears sliding down her face.
Behind me, Jahn was holding Jay back, but the horrid disdain on their faces was enough to finish whatever we could’ve had. Even if they believed me, they would never want a lifetime tied to this drama. Not their close-knit, perfect family. This would not be the family Jay’s mother would approve of. She knew I had a past, but nothing like this, nothing that would disrupt her worship and her way of life here, something that could chisel her right out of the community.
“Liya, are you all right?” Jay asked, pulling away from his family’s grip as they pulled him back. They pulled him back…I’d lost them, which meant Jay would either decide not to be with me, or choose me over them and eventually hate me for it.
I wiped my face, lifted my chin, and said, my voice aquiver, “That is enough. I have no father.”
I shoved Dad aside and prowled past Mukesh without giving in to the need to punch his snide face, for that would only add fodder for his claims.
As I slammed the door behind me, the rumblings and shouting escalated. Maybe Jay yelled my name? Did I imagine that? But he didn’t run out after me. And that was enough of an answer.
The upbeat mix of Bollywood music and club songs drowned them out. It was an entirely different world out here. Dancing, lights, laughter, cheer.
Reema and Rohan cut across the room full of joy, meeting and chatting, dancing and eating. I tried my hardest to grin at them and gave a carefree wave. But I had to get out of here.
Preeti popped up beside me when I pushed through the front doors. A light chill hit us as she asked, “Can I join you? I can’t be near my ex for this long. Where are you going?”
“Anywhere.”
“What happened? Are you okay? Have you been crying?”
I nodded, intending to put on my don’t-give-a-damn attitude, but I completely broke down.
“Oh, my god!” She put an arm around my shoulder and helped me to her car.
“Can we leave?” I hiccupped in the passenger seat. I was completely drained.
“Anywhere. Call it.”
“Your place?”
She nodded. “Of course. What about Reema? She’ll wonder where we went. Where you are.”
I bit my lip. “I don’t want to ruin her perfect day. She can’t know any of this. Not yet. Can you have Sana cover?”
“Of course.” She texted Sana and crawled into the car.
“First I need to go home to get something.”
“Anything,” she said and we took off.
We had driven to the reception together, after having prepared at the apartment she shared with Reema. Preeti drove me home first to get my car. There, I hurried up to my apartment and quickly shoved as much as I could into a suitcase with any and everything I thought I’d need. Preeti quietly, worriedly watched. I was ready to go to my new place. I did not want to stay a minute longer in case anyone showed up to wag their judgmental finger in my face.
Then I drove my car and followed her to her apartment.
When we crashed on her couch, our chaniyas fluttered around us in sparkling waves. “Wine? Coffee? Tea? Cha?” she suggested with a warm smile.
I shook my head as Preeti took my hand in hers. “What happened?” she asked.
Biting my lip, I pondered what to say. “I’m leaving tonight,” I blurted. “My new apartment is ready. The job is ready. I’m not coming back.”
“No. Don’t say that.” She hugged me tight, and neither of us let go.
But I had to. I had to let go of all of this. “We’ll keep in touch, promise. And you’ll come visit and we’ll do girl trips as usual. Let’s change. I have to get out of this heavy outfit before we stain it with ice cream and tears.”
“Agreed. I actually think I have bruises from mine.”
We changed and pulled out a pint of Blue Bell Rocky Road and a half gallon of Bride’s Cake ice cream.
Preeti sat on the couch and I sat on the floor as I devoured the cold amaretto sweetness like there was no tomorrow.
After we suffered a few ice cream headaches, I relayed the entire story, half pissed, half mortified.
Her face was red and her fists clenched. Preeti was actually shaking with rage. “He’s one of those men who supports shunning women who don’t do traditional things. He definitely had something to say about me for dating a black man. He stopped talking to my dad after everything that happened. I hate him. What a moronic, piece of scum, dirtbag. I can’t believe he did this to you! That you suffered so much! Ugh! I want to punch him in the throat!” she screamed.
I coughed out a weak chuckle. “With some scalpels between your knuckles to really damage him?”
“Yes. Son of a bitch,” she growled.
“Hey. Calm down,” I muttered. Unlike me, Preeti did not have a mouth on her. I’d never seen her so angry, and it was a bit alarming.
“No. I will not calm down. He ruined your name, your life. And your dad? This is so wrong. I won’t stand for this. Mukesh has to be punished. People have to know.”
“No. Stop. Please. I can’t deal with more of this.”
“It’s not right, Liya. He will go on with his perfect life, walking around the place with his pretentious head held high and have everyone’s respect. He doesn’t deserve that. Why are you the only one who suffers?”
“Because it’s society. Girls get the short end of the stick. It happened so long ago, people won’t take it seriously now. Especially coming from me.”
“He needs to get taken down. He has no place being a high authority figure in a religious organization, leading a community. Men can’t keep doing these things and getting away with it, and on top of that, ostracizing the victim!”
“I’m so tired of it, Preeti. I’ve fought my entire life. I can’t fight anymore.”
“Okay. Okay…What did Jay do?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I cried, the pain in my chest unbearable. “He didn’t even come after me when I left.”
“Shhh,” she cooed and caressed my hair when I laid my forehead on her knees and wept. “He was probably stunned.”
“That’s never stopped him before. Let’s face it. It’s over. Mukesh won. Even if Jay didn’t believe him, he wouldn’t want this drama.”
“Has he called?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked at my phone.”
“Check it.”
“Why bother?” I sniffled.
“Because he could be looking for you. You have to go to him.”
“When he didn’t come to me in the moment I needed him?”
“What are we going to do, then?”
“Eat more ice cream?”
Preeti continued to caress my hair as I sobbed on her lap, hiccupping and wheezing. A void clawed itself open in my soul, and I shoved tear after tear into it. It wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough to fill that gruesome hole.
I’d never cried so much, so hard, not since Mukesh distorted the truth all those years ago. I was empty, hollowed out, by midnight.
Liya Thakkar might’ve lost this one, but she would not stay down. No matter how much this hurt, no matter how long this would hurt, even if I had to stumble and crawl, I would rebuild my life. Elsewhere.
Chapter Thirty-One
Jay
Didn’t Liya hear me call after her? She’d run out so fast that I couldn’t catch her because I saw red. Bloodthirsty rage. Reason and logic weren’t even in my vocabulary right now. The most aggressive level o
f indignation seized control of me, to the point that Jahn used his entire strength to hold me back from beating Mukesh’s ass (he did not deserve the respect of being called Uncle anymore). Even Ma’s touch couldn’t soothe me, help me see reason. I grappled out of Jahn’s grip and went after Liya when she stormed out, but her father and Mukesh stood in my way. Her father had even snatched his wife’s arm when she tried to go after their daughter.
“You better move,” I warned.
“Let her go,” her father said.
“How could you let this happen?” I yelled.
“I’m sorry. It’s not something a parent tells a prospective suitor from the beginning. What would you have done?”
I clenched my jaw. “I would’ve believed my daughter.”
“She’s a known liar,” Mukesh insisted. “You understand this was hard to do, to tell another soul after we decided to put it behind us so long ago.”
“You worthless asshole. And you.” I glared at Liya’s father. “The worst thing you can do is not believe your child about being molested. And siding with her accuser? Why? So you can save yourself from having him turn the community against you? Pathetic.”
“You don’t know what kind of child she was, what sort of woman she turned into.”
“The problem is that you have no idea. You missed out on an amazing person. She already told me she was molested, why she turned to sleeping with guys, how many she’d been with. It still didn’t matter. You both should feel lucky you weren’t dealing with me. I’d have kicked your ass long ago, old man, and thrown you in jail. And I would’ve disowned you as a father.”
I went for the door when Mukesh touched my shoulder. I had my fists around his collar and his back against the wall before anyone could stop me. “Touch me, or her, or anyone else, and I will dismember you,” I growled, baring my teeth. “Don’t even look at or think of her, or get near her or my family, or I will open an investigation and find every dirty detail from the day you were born. I will have you behind bars so fast, you’ll be a sniveling old man in the blink of an eye. Even if she doesn’t let me unleash the justice system on you, because your fate is in her hands, then just know that whatever fear you put Liya through, I will make you drown in it every day. Do you understand me?”
He gulped and nodded, his hands up in defense. “You’re making a mistake, son.”
“No, you made a mistake when you did this to Liya. You messed with the wrong woman and crossed the wrong lawyer, because guess what? There is no statute of limitations in Texas, and I will personally open up that case and have you in jail. And by next week, everyone at mandir will know what you did to a child. You will lose every privilege and respect that you have here. You are not a role model and don’t deserve to be looked upon as one.”
“You’re going to destroy this community,” he barked.
“Make no mistake, you did this to our community. You are responsible for what happens now. You are the only person to blame. I am going to shred you apart.”
Jahn pulled me away, but Liya’s father didn’t bother making a move.
I ushered Ma out first, then Jahn. I approached Liya’s mother and pressed my palms together in a sign of reverence. “I apologize for all the things you’ve gone through. This is not a reflection of you, and if you need anything, my mom and I are here. And I promise you that Liya will be in good hands with me, and if we ever have children, they will be an extension of you, not your husband, and we will never let anyone touch them and get away with it.”
“Thank you,” she wept.
I wished she could’ve left with us, or had followed Liya out, but I knew she would do neither. I knew it was beyond my reach to take her. But before I turned away, Ma’s arm brushed past me. She took a hold of Liya’s mother’s hands and said, “Chalo. Let’s go.”
Of course, Liya’s dad tried to stop his wife from leaving, but we were here and she wanted to leave.
Then it clicked. Liya’s mom was deathly afraid of her husband. It was in her eyes, in her trembling lips, in her submissive body language. Ma would never have let Dad dismiss us if we claimed something so terrible. Even if she disagreed with him, she would’ve backed us up with the ferocity that only mothers had to protect their children. Unless that fierceness was severed by a domineering husband…
“It’s okay. Let’s just go for a walk,” Ma said gently, glaring at both men.
Liya’s mom brushed at her tears and gave her husband the coldest expression ever. Dynamics were shifting. The women walked out ahead of me.
I paused beside Liya’s father and said, “If I even think that you’ve hurt her, I will come for you.”
“She is not my daughter anymore,” he said, convinced in his beliefs.
“I mean your wife.”
He startled.
Then I left, having forgotten that we were in the middle of a wedding reception. The music was loud, the movement roaring, but nowhere did I see Liya. I searched everywhere, but the crowds were so big and the temple grounds vast. Would she have left her best friend’s reception? After all that? Dumb question.
I found Jahn at the edge of the dance floor. “Have you seen her?”
“No. We’re looking, but she probably left,” Jahn replied.
I groaned and ran out the doors. I didn’t see Liya’s Lexus.
All of my calls went straight to voicemail and my texts went unanswered. I found Sana to inquire of Liya’s whereabouts as dread crept through me, but she hadn’t seen her since the choreographed dance. Preeti was nowhere to be found. Shilpa hadn’t seen her, either.
“All Preeti said was that Liya checked in with her and was fine, but didn’t want to talk to anyone and turned her phone off for a while,” Shilpa replied.
“Preeti asked me to cover for them so Reema didn’t find out,” Sana added.
“Does Preeti know where Liya is?” I pressed.
“Preeti won’t say anything else.”
“Do you think Liya is with Preeti?”
“I hope so, but Liya tends to fly solo when she’s upset,” Sana quietly admitted.
I panicked and drove my hand through my hair. Where did she go?
“Beta,” Ma said with a gentle hand on my arm. “You must find her. What happened…it was not good. Don’t let her slip away. She did nothing wrong. She has to know that. We’ll look for her, too. Keep making calls, Shilpa. Make sure she’s okay, beta?”
“I will.”
I went to Liya’s apartment first, but she wasn’t there. I drove around all night, searching in every park, bar, restaurant, and club that she liked. If Liya flew solo when upset, then where else could she be?
I returned to her apartment at the end of the night into early morning. She wasn’t home. Her lights were off. So I waited.
I jolted awake. The sun was out and bright, and the car was already sweltering hot. I checked my phone. Liya had not responded, but others had. Jahn and Shilpa checked on me to make sure that I was all right, wondering if I’d found her.
Then another text.
Preeti: Was sworn to girl oath. Liya’s devastated and humiliated and left for Dallas. She’s not coming back.
“Damn it!” I snarled and threw the phone against the dashboard, cracking the screen protector.
“You gotta be kidding me!” I yelled.
Why would she leave like this? She couldn’t have possibly thought that I believed them over her. She couldn’t have believed that this was something that we wouldn’t come back from, that I wouldn’t care for her and love her.
I shouldn’t have gotten so angry with her for wanting to move to Dallas. I should’ve told her I had accepted it and would support her, anything for her to be happy. But hadn’t she seen my texts or listened to my voicemails? Of course not. She was mad that I was mad, busy with the wedding on top of that. And yet I didn’t take the opportunity at the wedding to tell her.
Liya hadn’t left just because her dad and Mukesh pulled that stunt. Liya left because of me.
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nbsp; My heart split—into two, then four, splintering and sending shrapnel through my veins. I breathed heavily for a long time, in and out, until my chest burned. I hadn’t felt this vulnerable, this guilty, this erratic and helpless since Dad died. I thought I was over this when Liya guided me through the anniversary of his death. But I never thought I’d feel this way over someone else leaving. Not like this.
My tires screeched as I backed out of the parking lot and called Shilpa, demanding Preeti’s address. She reluctantly gave it to me, adding, “Don’t do anything rash. Preeti is just the messenger…”
“I know that,” I snapped. “But she’s the only person who knows where Liya is. How else would I find her in Dallas? I just walked out on her when she told me about getting a new job there. I can’t believe I did that, left before she ever had the chance to tell me where she would end up.”
“Be calm.”
“Would you be calm? If some manipulating jackasses did that to Jahn and forced him to leave forever?”
“Be calm…but go get her.”
“Damn right I’m going to get her.”
I parked the car and took the steps two at a time to get to Preeti’s apartment. She didn’t open after a few knocks, so I pounded harder and texted.
“Come on, Preeti. I know you’re in there.”
After another minute, she quietly opened the door. Her eyes were red and puffy and her skin a little pale. My heart broke. How much worse did Liya look right now? Had Liya been crying when I wasn’t there for her?
“Jay. What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
“Is Liya seriously gone or is she hiding in your apartment?”
“She’s gone.”
I exhaled. “Then I need her address.”
“No can do. Breach of girl oath. She entrusted me, and only me, with that information. I’m not going to completely lose her. Give her some space, some time.”
“How long?”
“A few weeks, months.”