“No, but Sterling was here. He’s coming back and he wasn’t too happy.”
“He only wants me around because of my family. If they weren’t pressuring him, he’d care less.”
She sighs and I can picture her shaking her head as she usually does when making that sound, “You’re wrong. He was more turned up than usual over your absence and demanding your number. I gave him your old one, ‘cause that’s all I have.”
“I don’t want him to have this one, nor anybody right now for that matter.” He can’t. I’m hurting too badly right now to speak to him, and I’m not rolling over like usual. They all deserve to sweat a bit for this crap.
“He, ugh…He sorta threatened me.”
“He did what?” I ask in outrage, my temper pouring into my words. Sterling’s the last person I would expect to hear was threatening my closest friend. He’s been acting a bit strange lately, more territorial over me at times, but still, this isn’t like him. “Was he drinking? He’s not usually like that,” I ask, wondering if maybe that’s playing a part in him threatening her, but at this rate, who knows what it could be.
“No. He was stone-cold sober. Although, I’d wager he hasn’t slept much at all for the past few days. The man looked like hell, with puffy and bloodshot eyes.”
“Oh my God,” I murmur, and she continues.
“He said that if he doesn’t get your number, he’s coming back with Ruin. He promised the next step would be another brother or even Chaos after me.”
“Shit,” I breathe. “This has escalated far more quickly than I’d anticipated.”
“Yeah, KOC’s not joking around about your whereabouts and safety. To say they’re concerned is an understatement.”
“I only have a few people’s numbers memorized. My mom, you, and Sterling, of course. I don’t want to talk to him yet, but I can’t handle my mom right now either. I know she’ll be sad, and it’ll make me feel like shit for not telling her sooner that I’m safe. I just…I can’t right now.”
“Shit,” she curses randomly. “T-they just walked in.”
“Who?” I shout.
“Sterling and Ruin. They’re coming for me. Fuck a duck.”
“I’m hanging up. I’ll call him. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you need to.” I hang up and call Sterling immediately. It rings and rings, and then rings some more. He doesn’t have his voicemail set up, so it gives me a prompt and then nothing. Inhaling deeply, I exhale and try his phone again.
I feel so guilty for Magnolia having to deal with pressure from the club, but I needed to leave and I wasn’t going to tell anyone where I’d gone. She may be my closest friend, but I also knew the club would hassle her eventually to get my location. To discover it was Sterling breathing down her neck does make me feel a little better. He knows she’s my best friend, and I don’t think he’d ever actually hurt her. Sterling may look intimidating to some, but he’s not a blatantly mean person to anyone.
I use the call blocker and dial his number again. I’ve had it memorized for as long as he’s had his phone. I was trying not to speak to him, but my curiosity’s worn out over what on earth he has to say and whether it’ll be on his behalf or my father’s.
“Yeah,” he barks into the phone before it gets a full ring in. He sounds fucking livid. Great.
“Hey, it’s Leigh.”
“I know who it is,” he says gruffly after a beat, and I love it that his voice changes when he realizes it’s me on the phone. “Where are you?”
“Why?”
“I’m comin’ to get you.”
“Nope. No one’s bothering me. I’m on a vacation from everyone in that town.”
“So you’re not in town, got it. Also, how about I leave? Then I’m not one of them.”
I roll my eyes, even though he can’t see me. “Nope. I need some time to myself. I’m not joking, Sterling.”
“Neither am I. Look, I need you to come home, okay? Do it for me.”
“Why should I do anything for you? After the way things ended up, I need to stop doing things for you.”
“Ouch. Look, I get it.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I was a dick, trying to stay away from you. I thought it was my only choice. I couldn’t exactly be nice to you and stay away. It was too difficult.”
“You hurt me,” I admit softly, not wanting to be vulnerable with him anymore if he’s going to keep turning me away.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Boo. Come home, baby, please. I’m begging you.”
I sniffle, tears clouding my gaze. He’s never called me baby before, and I really like the way it sounds coming from him. “You’re begging me?”
“I am. I’ll do whatever it takes, I swear it.”
“Too bad I don’t believe you.” I hang up and cry myself to sleep.
How do you sleep at night, knowing people don’t like you? Without underwear, just in case they’d like to kiss my ass.
- libbymemes
“Is Chaos still going crazy?” Mom asks as I close the back door. Opening the fridge, I grab a soda and take a seat at the weathered kitchen table. It’s been here since I was a kid, and it brings a small sense of comfort, being here in my childhood home around family when I’m so stressed out.
I nod. “Yeah, been two days since he lost Leigh’s location.”
Dad’s been keeping her in the loop, no doubt. Everyone in the club’s been informed of Chaos looking for Leigh. He wants everyone to keep their eyes open for her car. We’re all under strict instructions to call him immediately if we discover where she’s at. He tried to blame me for her taking off, but Ruin had my back. He stood up to his father, telling him it was the phone tracking that made Leigh lose it and take off. Not that I can blame her for it. I’d be pissed finding out my family had been keeping tabs like that on me as well. Unlike her, I’ve known about the phone tracker since I first got mine. Dad was upfront with me. I thought everyone knew, but obviously that’s not the case, and I’d forgotten about them until this mess blew up.
“Jesus, I can only imagine how worried he and Cambri must be. We’re all praying she returns home safely.”
“She’s an adult,” I throw in, even though I’ve been doing nothing but worrying and driving around looking for her. I had to take my bike in, the oil leak getting worse, and I’ve been too busy with club shit to really work on it. Besides, I know Jupiter needs the money right now.
“We all know that, love, but she’s also the MC president’s daughter. Do you realize what kind of danger she could be in if the wrong person found out she’s gone without anyone running protection? It’s one of the many reasons why Cambri and I stuck so close together raising you kids along with Chaos’ sister. We never knew what could be lurking, and having each experienced our personal touch with danger, it kept us vigilant.”
“I thought it was just because you guys were good friends.” Her comment doesn’t make my unease lift at all. If anything, it doubles down, making my gut churn with worry.
“Well, of course. I’ve known her for about twenty-two years now. Her and the club’s very dear to me. The same goes for most of the other wives as well. We’ve always stuck together, one big tight-knit group. It kept us all safe, happy, and we knew we could trust each other.”
I release a sigh, my brow bunched, and fingers massaging my temples. “I don’t know what else to do to help. I’m at a loss, and I hate to admit as much,” I confess. “Aspen’s had the dancers trying to find out information from the customers at Centerfolds. As well as Michaela quietly asking the regulars down at the Pub. I’ve been checking in on each place between the smoothie shop and her friend Magnolia. Have you heard anything at the diner?”
Dad helped Mom buy the tiny restaurant back when Sawyer was around six and she’d become busy with school. Mom was sick of only working part-time, and when the diner became available, it was a done deal before anyone in town knew the building was for sale.
“You care for her,” she notes, her eyes e
mpathetic. I know she can tell how tired and upset I appear. I’ve tried keeping it locked down, but the last time I glanced in the mirror, even I could see that I’m not hiding it well.
“More than you could imagine.”
She flashes me a soft smile, reaching out to squeeze my forearm. "I feel like you've talked to everyone about this but me," Mom says, leaving no room for me to slide my way out of sharing. "Tell me what's been going on with you, what's on your mind."
After a beat, I release a tense breath and admit, "I want to be with Leigh, but it's forbidden."
"By whom?"
I shouldn’t say anything, but our families are close, and I don't like keeping stuff away from my mom if I don't have to. "Chaos, and then Dad, and probably Ruin...hell, the entire club, I'd bet, since Chaos isn't on board.”
"Oh no." She shakes her head, immediately disagreeing. "No, my son, everyone isn't against it. You go talk to her momma, she'll tell you as much."
"Cambri?"
She nods. "She asked me a while back if I thought you and Leigh ever had a chance. She loves you, Sterling, and I'd bet she'd stand up to Chaos on your behalf and help him see reason."
"Seriously? But that's her ol' man, the prez."
"She's his wife and Leigh's momma. She has every right to have a say in the matter too. Chaos respects that. He's a good man, as is your father. But, Sterling, you need to realize a few things. The club is a huge part of your father's life. It's been that way since I first met him, and I've always respected that part of him. I kept out of his business and supported him, but that doesn't mean the club is your life as well. I know it means a lot to you, that the brother’s approval and acceptance weigh heavy. Ruin is patched now, and he's your best friend, so, naturally, you want to be beside him through it. However, I'll say it again—you owe the club nothing.”
I get up to throw the soda can away and splash some water on my face. My eyes burn, but I refuse to rest until I figure out where she is.
Mom stands, coming to lean against the counter, and continues, “You aren't a member yet, nor do you have to be if you changed your mind. Club life is a choice, one you have to be ready for. You can't let the club choose your love life on top of everything else. You'll grow to resent it. If you want Leigh, genuinely desire her like no other...then you do not hold back. You go for it with everything you've got, because you only live once, son, then life is over. You think long and hard about the future you want. If you decide on both, you can have that too.”
I dry my hands and face with a paper towel, turning towards her. I meet her stare, taking in everything she’s saying. Is it true? Can I have both?
She reaches out to me again and says, “Step up and be the man I know you are. If your father has anything to say, you send him my way. I'll take on Sebastian, as I always have when I've needed him to truly hear me. Talk to Cambri if you're unsure, and remember, Ruin loves you. He's your best friend and brother. Family forgives, and he will too."
I'm not going to try to lie, I'm choked up at what Mom said. I needed to hear it all so damn bad, and she laid it out for me. "Love you, Mom," I say. It's all I can manage to get out right now.
She pulls me in for a hug, and even dwarfing her, she still feels like she could take on the world for her family. "Love you too, Sterling. Forever."
I leave and drive by Leigh’s work again. She’s still not around, and the girl working there, Shauna, claims to know nothing. I don’t buy it. Leigh’s responsible. She’s always been that way when it comes to her job, so I know they must know something. I guess she could call and pretend to be sick. The owner would probably buy it in a heartbeat, since Leigh never shams off like that. Fuck. This has got to be really bad if Leigh’s not showing up for her shifts. I veer off, heading for Magnolia’s job next. She’s there, thankfully, but doesn’t look too pleased to see me. Although, she never does. She’s probably sick of dodging the club, but I know she must know something where Leigh’s concerned, no matter how small the detail may be.
“Magnolia,” I bark, demanding she gives me her attention. It works and she comes my way, glowering.
“What do you want?”
My hands raise in surrender. “Easy. I’m just stopping by to see if you’ve spoken to Leigh since yesterday.”
“Why do you care? Aren’t you done messing with her heart by now? She called like you wanted her to.”
My hands fall, fingers curling into fists. “I’m not messing with her, I swear it.”
She snorts. “Sure. She may buy into your bullshit, but I don’t.”
“Look, none of that matters right now. She’s missing and we’re worried. I know damn well you’ve spoken to her since she called me yesterday.”
Her eyes dart to the side but she shakes her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Right. Well, let me enlighten you on something you seem to be missing. If you don’t talk to me, tell me what you know, you’ll have Chaos questioning you. Or how about Bash? You’ve heard how my dad loses his shit and flies off at the handle, right? Pick your battles, Magnolia. You either come at me with your attitude and help me out, or you face the club breathing down your back. I can only warn you of the consequences so many times before the big dogs come for you.” I lean in, my mouth close to her ear as I murmur, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to dig the hole deep enough so strays won’t try to get to your body.”
She draws in a quick breath, my words sinking in. She swallows and says, “Let me see if I can talk her into contacting you again, but I don’t know. You’ve really hurt her this time, and not just you, her family too.”
“Give me her number. Surely, you have it by now,” I demand.
“I still don’t have it.”
“Bullshit,” I counter, shaking my head. “I know you’ve spoken to her.”
“I swear to God. I did hear from her this morning, okay? She’s fine, but the number came up as private like before. I’m not lying to you. Trust me, I don’t want to die.”
“You better hope so,” I cruelly breathe the threat. “‘Cause she’s the only thing keeping me from stealing your last heartbeat.” I twist on my heel, calling behind me, “I’ll be back tonight. You better have something for me, or you’ll be dealing with the consequences.” She says nothing, but she doesn’t need to. I’ve gotten my point across, and that’s all that matters. Climbing back into my Charger, I shoot a text to Dad, letting him know I stopped by to speak to Magnolia and she’s going to try to reach Leigh again. I get a reply immediately.
Dad: Does she know anything?
Me: I’m stopping back by later. She’s going to try to get a number for me by then.
I know he’ll relay the message to Chaos and Cambri. It’s not what anyone wants to hear, but at least it’s something. I’m not just sitting around twiddling my fucking thumbs until I lose my mind. I swear if anything happens to her during all of this, I’ll never forgive myself. Mom is right, all I’ve done is waste time. I could’ve been with Leigh this entire time, rather than fighting the natural pull I feel towards her. If I’d been serious about it from the beginning and stuck with it, there’s a possibility of our families having accepted us together by now. Rather, I’ve fucked off, yo-yoing back and forth with her feelings while showing everyone else she wasn’t priority enough for me to fight for.
No more. I’m done standing down when it comes to my life. The club will rule nearly everything I do, and I’m okay with that, I welcome it, in fact. However, I will not give KOC the power to decide my fate where love’s concerned. There has to be more than the club for me, and that more is Leigh. I don’t have a doubt in my mind, she’d make one helluva an ol’ lady when the time comes and she’s ready for it. Chaos may not’ve wanted her to end up with a brother, but he should be able to recognize that I’d be fiercely protective of her. Not only that but she’d be happy, and this is a way to keep her even closer to the club. She wouldn’t just be the princess or club brat anymore; she’d be a member’s
ol’ lady. Well, she would if I manage to make it that far. It was never an issue I gave thought to in the past, but shit’s went on and damn near done a one-eighty, tossing life up in the air for me.
I hit up the club next. It’s like a time bomb is ready to go off. The brothers are outside smoking, staring at me as I park and climb out of the car. I need to speak to Cambri about Leigh, but now’s certainly not the time. Tension is too high, and if I bring up my feelings for Leigh, Chaos may lose it and finish me off at this point.
Bash heads for me, stopping to rest his hand on my shoulder. He flexes his grip. “You did good, son. I’ve known my brother for many years, and I can tell your words eased the burden resting on his shoulders. Someday, you’ll understand when you have some kids of your own. Their safety and happiness is everything.”
“My happiness?” I pause to ask.
He nods. “Of course.”
“And if I said I was done fighting this thing between me and Leigh?”
He sighs. “Not this again, Sterling. Haven’t you learned your lesson by now? Look where we are right now, Christ.”
“Only thing I learned is that I’ve been wasting time. I’ve been hurting someone I love and it’s making me miserable inside. I want the club more than I can express, but I’ve come to realize that I want Leigh, too, more than my patch. I know it’s supposed to be brothers above all others, but not when it comes to Leigh. If that makes everybody hate me or be disappointed in me, so be it. It’ll crush me, but it’s a burden I’ll bear for her. I’m done seeing her cry because I turn her away. I only want to make her smile, to make her happy. I love her, Dad, I do.”
His gaze is trained behind me and I know there must be someone at my back. A heavy hand clamps down on my opposite shoulder, and without looking, I know it’s Chaos. He’s heard everything I said, and my father didn’t even attempt to stop me from saying it. Rather, he says, “I was wondering how long it’d take for you to stand your ground.”
Sterling: Kings of Carnage MC - Prospects (Kings of Carnage - Prospects Book 2) Page 12