She nodded. “It was a pretty epic gift, and I suppose that if I were to look on the bright side, I won’t need to buy lube again until I’m seventy.”
“My thoughts exactly. You know I’ll always have your back, even when we’re in the nursing home together throwing them out and—” I started moving my mouth again, but no sound came out as my brain took in the scene unfolding across the street from the stoplight we were sitting at.
“What is it?” Elle asked, puzzled until she followed my gaze to see what I was looking at. “Oh.”
Peter and Amanda had just exited an Italian restaurant with Jackson, presumably walking back to Peter’s car. Jackson walked between the two of them, holding onto both their hands, laughing as they periodically lifted him up and swung him back and forth between them. They looked every bit the happy family from one of those sappy, wholesome family shows I only watched when there was nothing else on television. And as much as my mind was telling me to avert my eyes, I continued to watch them until the light turned green and Elle could move forward again.
CHAPTER NINE
My leg bounced up and down uncontrollably as I finished what I hoped would be the last of the paperwork I was going to have to complete today. It was a nervous tic of mine, shaking my leg, and I hated that my nerves were getting the best of me. Most of all, I hated waiting in the cramped waiting room in the windowless Nuclear Medicine department, sitting in its uncomfortable plastic chairs, while waiting for a procedure that wasn’t even my actual surgery.
Elle rested her hand on mine. “Do you want to get up and walk around before your leg falls off?”
“What I want is to get this lympho-Pictionary thing done, so that we can get on with the surgery and I can get out of here.”
“Lymphoscintigraphy,” Luke corrected me. “Although, it is kind of like Pictionary, because it gives the oncologist an image of your lymph nodes, showing them which ones they need to remove.”
Elle and I looked over at Luke simultaneously. “You had to bring the doctor with you, didn’t you?” I asked.
She squeezed Luke’s hand. “He may come I handy, if the need arises.”
A young nurse around my age entered the room, checking the iPad in her hand. “Mena,” she called, looking up at the occupants in the room.
“Psst. That’s you,” Elle whispered, when I didn’t immediately get up from my chair.
“Maybe there’s another Mena.”
“Just get up.”
I stood, my heart pounding, a heaviness in my stomach. As much as I wanted this whole day to be over, I also didn’t want it to start. I looked back to see Elle following behind me, grateful that she—and Luke—had made the journey to New York. Without them, I would have had to rely upon Jo … or worse, my parents. My relationship with Jo remained strained since the blowup two weeks ago. She’d made it a point to come home late from work, purposely avoiding me. When she did speak to me, it was usually one-word responses to my questions to her.
“Right through here.”
The nurse directed us into a sizeable room housing an equally as large piece of equipment that reminded me of those used for CT or MRI scans, complete with a table. In the corner of the room was a wide viewing window. Inside of that room were computers and other electronic equipment. Ironically, I wished Luke was in the room with us to explain to me what everything was and what it was going to be doing to me.
The nurse handed a hospital gown to me. “You’re going to need to strip down to your bra and underwear. The tech is right next door and will be with you in a few minutes.”
Elle sat down in one of the chairs next to the table upon which I would most likely be examined while I stripped down to my underwear and put my arms through the holes of the gown.
“A little help here,” I called back to her when I struggled to reach the strings in the back to tie it.
She hopped back up from her chair, all too eager to assist me. “See, I’m going to be useful, after all.”
“Don’t go getting a big head. If it wasn’t for my Tyrannosaurus Rex arms, I’d be able to tie the strings together myself.”
“Do you want a sailor’s knot, a butterfly loop, a—”
“How about any knot that closes the gown and keeps my rear from being exposed?”
“That’s good, because I don’t know how to make any of those other knots I just mentioned.” Elle pulled the gown closed and had just finished tying it when a knock appeared at the door.
“Come in.” I called out.
“Are you Mena?” a young man dressed in scrubs asked.
“That’s me.” I hopped up onto the table, figuring that’s where he’d want me to be.
He reached out his hand to me. “I’m Jordan, the tech who’s going to be performing your procedure today. I presume you’ve never had a lymphoscintigraphy before?”
I shook his hand, answering him, “That would be a correct presumption, Jordan.”
Jordan smiled. He had large, brown eyes, which reminded me of those of a Labrador Retriever I’d had growing up. They were kind, compassionate eyes—the eyes anyone would want to see right before undergoing a traumatic event.
“Here’s the gist of what’s going to happen. I’m going to inject you with radioactive isotopes just under your skin at the site of your malignancy, which will allow Dr. Nelson up there to locate the sentinel lymph node.” Jordan nodded to the window, where a middle-aged, balding man now sat working at one of the computers.
“Hear that, Elle? I’m going to be radioactive, just like the song.”
“Imagine Dragons,” Jordan said. “I’m a huge fan.”
“Who isn’t, Jordan? Who isn’t?”
“You’ll be receiving three separate injections, and I’m not going to lie, they’re going to sting. The isotopes I’m injecting into you will then travel to the lymph nodes where, if your malignancy has spread, it would have gone. Those lymph nodes will be dyed blue from the isotopes, which will allow them to show up on the imaging we’re going to do right after I inject you and give the isotopes a few minutes to make their way to where they need to go. Dr. Nelson will then mark where your sentinel nodes are. In your case, given the location of your malignancy, we would expect the affected nodes to be located somewhere in your groin area. He’ll then print out a CD for you to take to the oncologist, showing them the location of the lymph nodes they will need to remove during your surgery today.”
“Sounds simple enough.”
“It really is. You’re going to need to lay face down on the table, since the injections are going to be inserted in your back.
I did as Jordan instructed, resting my head on the poor excuse for a pillow at the end of the table. Once I was situated, Jordan attempted to untie my gown.
“Geez, who tied these knots?”
“Oh, that was me,” Elle answered him, raising her hand.
“Chill out, you’re not getting extra credit for this,” I called out to her.
“You two sisters?” Jordan asked. A poor guess, considering Elle and I looked nothing alike.
“Best friends,” I answered as Jordan worked on untying the knots in the back of my gown. “Since college.”
“That’s great. Oftentimes people drift apart and go their separate ways after they graduate. It’s good to see people stay connected.” He continued tugging at my gown. “Just about have it—there we go.” A draft from the cold room caressed my lower back when Jordan exposed the area where my tumor had been removed earlier. “Okay, three quick pokes and I’ll have you out of here.”
“I’ve heard that one before.”
“Seriously, Mena,” Elle muttered.
“Okay, here’s the first injection.”
I felt the needle pierce my skin. At first, it was no different than any other shot I’d ever received in my lifetime. I may even venture to say that, at first, I probably would have considered it unremarkable, kind of like the diet soda of shots—none of the flavor, none of the punch. At first, I wouldn’t
have even known I was receiving a shot.
But that was only at first.
Seconds later, a burning encompassed the area around the injection as though the fiery bowels of hell had been reduced to liquid form, shoved into the barrel of the needle, and injected straight into my body, where it was currently unleashing a torrent of pain the likes of which I’d never experienced before. Shocked, I sucked in my breath, suppressing a scream.
“Mena,” Elle said, moving her chair over to the table. “Here, take my hand.”
I grabbed onto Elle’s hand just as the pain began to subside, groaning when I remembered there were two more injections to go.
“A lot of people compare these shots to a bee sting,” Jordan said nonchalantly as he rubbed the area where he’d made the injection.
“I don’t know what kind of bees those people were stung by, but that mutant, rabid, hornet hybrid thing that just stung me can go straight to hell.”
“Here comes the next one.”
“Squeeze my hand,” Elle reassured me, as though I wasn’t already going to be doing that.
Just when I thought I’d braced myself for the second injection, the script completely flipped on me, because the second one was somehow exponentially worse than the first.
“Ah!” I shrieked, taking hold of Elle’s hand as a forest fire tore through my lower back.
“Let go of my hand! Let go of my hand!” Elle yelped, freeing her hand from my grasp and shaking it in the air before cradling it in her lap.
“Let me have your other hand, then.”
“That’s a negative.”
“What kind of friend are you?”
“The kind that wants to walk out of here with both hands intact.”
“Now for the last one,” Jordan declared.
I held my breath, willing myself to battle through the last injection with grace and dignity.
That didn’t happen.
In fact, I’m pretty sure my screams can still be heard throughout the Nuclear Medicine department to this day.
“Your kind eyes lie, Jordan! Your kind eyes lie!”
*****
I’d always wondered what happened when a person was put under for surgery, whether they dream and, if so, whether their anesthesia dreams were more vivid than their normal dreams. The answer to both of those questions is an unfortunate resounding no. Perhaps it was supposed to be that way for a reason; maybe you really do dream, but the anesthesia prevents you from remembering it. Either way, the last thing I remembered before I was put out was the mask being fitted over my face and being told to count backwards from one hundred. I don’t even remember what number I reached before everything went black.
Waking up, the first thing I noticed was the light in the room blinding me when I opened my eyes. I wasn’t in a recovery room, more like a recovery bay, with curtains on either side of me and what I believed was a nurse’s station in front of me. In chairs set up next to my bed, Elle and Luke sat patiently waiting for me to wake up. Luke was reading something on his phone while Elle’s head rested on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, though I suspected she wasn’t sleeping.
“It’s a good thing I’m in the hospital, because you two are so cute it’s making me sick.”
“Hey!” Elle’s eyes flew open. She sprung up from her chair to stand next to my bed. Luke also stood, choosing to stay at the foot of the bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“I don’t know … tired … great … high. Is this what being high feels like? If so, I’m totally on board.”
“Wow, you haven’t been in recovery long at all, and you’re already awake and somewhat coherent.” A nurse with gray hair, due more to the latest color trend than age, entered my recovery area to check my vitals on the machine near the other side of my bed.
“Recovery room MVP,” I said, pumping my fist in the air. “Do I get a trophy, or one of those head piece things you use to listen to patients’ hearts?”
“A stethoscope,” Luke chimed in.
“You and your … doctor knowledge.” I raised my eyebrow at him as he suppressed a chuckle.
The nurse smiled. “Ah, the effects of the anesthesia.”
“It’s not the anesthesia,” Luke said matter-of-factly.
“I’d flip you off, but I can’t remember which one of these is my middle finger,” I said, holding up my hand and wiggling my digits.”
“Are you nauseous?” asked the gray-haired nurse.
“No. In fact, I’m ready for some graham crackers and juice so I can bust out of here.”
“There will be no busting out of here. And you’re going to have to take it easy for at least the next week. But since you’re feeling up to it, I’ll bring you some juice and crackers to see if we can’t work toward getting you discharged soon.”
“You’re good people, nurse lady.” I gave her a thumbs-up as she completed whatever it was she was doing and scurried out of my recovery area. “So,” I turned my attention to Luke when the three of us were alone again, “how did the surgery go?”
“It went about as well as to be expected. They removed more tissue on your back, around the area where your melanoma was. You presently have seventeen staples back there, and it’s going to smart in a few hours, so make sure you keep taking your pain medication. Plus, you have about a two-inch incision in your groin area, where they removed five of your lymph nodes.”
“Okay, but did they get all of the cancer? Was there cancer in the lymph nodes?”
“I don’t know, and neither will they until the pathology report comes back.”
“Damn it, Luke, that information is about as useful as a VHS tape.” I sighed. “I just thought it would all be over today.”
“It will be in about a week when the results come back,” Elle added.
“There’s a chance it won’t be.”
“You can’t think like that,” Elle tried to comfort me. “You have to stay positive.”
“About the only thing I’m positive about is that I really, really want to get out of here.” Before Luke and Elle could stop me, I stood up from the bed, wishing pretty close to immediately that I hadn’t. As soon as my feet hit the floor, my vision blurred and my knees buckled. Thankfully, Luke was by my side to catch me before I could hit the ground. “On second thought, I think I may stay here for a little while.” When I looked up and my vision began to clear, all I saw was Elle’s stern face. She was about to say something to me, until she noticed I’d become distracted by something else.
“I should have known all I had to do was follow the commotion and it would lead me straight to you,” Phineas said, standing in front of my makeshift room. In his hand was a bouquet of blue orchids.
Elle turned around slowly, catching a glimpse of Phineas in the flesh before turning back around again, a smart aleck smile on her face. Luke helped me back into bed as Phineas approached.
“Phineas, this is Luke and, well, you’ve already met Elle, just not in person. Luke, this is my boss, Phineas Drake.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Luke,” Phineas said, shaking Luke’s hand. “Mena has told me so much about you and Elle.” He smiled at Elle, and from the expression on her face, my guess was she had momentarily forgotten her name and where she was.
“Elle,” Luke nudged her. “Why don’t we hit up the cafeteria downstairs?”
“Huh? Yes. Food. We could use some of that.”
“Nice meeting you, Phineas.” Luke nodded as both he and Elle walked out into the hall. Before disappearing behind the curtain, Elle looked back at Phineas and me again, winking at me
“It would appear as though I’ve had surgery. You know what that means?”
Confused, Phineas shook his head. “You’re pretty doped up?”
“Well, yes, I am, but it also means you have some drinking to do.”
“Yes, I guess it does.” He laughed. “However, I suggest we wait until you’re fully recovered.”
“That’s probably a good idea, consider
ing I almost bit it right before you got here.”
“Here’s some juice and some graham crackers for you.” The nurse handed a cup of grape juice and a small package of graham crackers to me. “Let’s see how you feel when you finish that, and then we’ll see what we can do about getting you out of here.”
I nodded, thanking her. In no way, shape, or form was I hungry, but I definitely didn’t want to stay here any longer than I absolutely had to, and so I obediently peeled back the foil covering the juice and tore open the plastic packaging housing the graham crackers, breaking the crackers into pieces and putting what amounted to crumbs into my mouth.
“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?” I asked Phineas, who had taken a seat in one of the chairs next to my bed.
He cleared his throat. “I just got to thinking about you being in surgery. I know your family lives a ways away, and I wasn’t sure whether your friends from Virginia were going to come up, so I decided I would swing by to see how you were doing and to make sure you weren’t alone. Oh,” he held up the bouquet of orchids like I hadn’t already noticed them, “and these are from the office.”
“The office?”
“Mm-hmm.”
I looked at him and the flowers in his hand, taking a sip of juice. He was dressed in his usual trousers and suit jacket, having just come from the office. A GQ cover come to life, driving all the women who crossed his path crazy. I’d always thought Phineas a handsome man, just in the usual handsome kind of way. But now, looking at him, I felt like I was noticing the features that made women go insane for the first time. His square chin with the dimple, his honey brown eyes that resembled balls of fire in the right light. Yes, I guess I’d always been attracted to him. I just hadn’t allowed myself to truly see just how attracted to him I really was.
“Well,” I began, “tell the office thank you for me.”
*****
I sat on my couch with my feet propped up on the ottoman. The pain Luke had warned me about was just beginning to show itself. After much resistance on my part, it was becoming intolerable enough that I had to relent and take an oxycodone. Elle sat next to me, flipping through the channels. Luke had gone back to the hotel room after making it a point to let me know that he would be on call in the event I needed him.
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