by Chloe Cullen
Silence.
“That’s what I’m afraid of the most,” Cori said, letting her admission hang in the darkness.
“The Legion members and the Compound have been carefully reviewed over the past few years. We believe the threat was eliminated that day. But Cori… your help facing future threats, inside or outside of the Compound will be substantial. The losses of that day would have been far greater had you not been there.”
Cori closed her eyes, a silent fury wending its way into her.
The losses of that day could have been far less if you had been there, Thoren.
She couldn’t say those words, knowing she didn’t want to hear his response. So, before she could talk herself out of it, she nodded once with resolution. “I’ll… return.”
She heard Thoren release a breath, as though relieved. “So, will you come back with me?”
Shocked, Cori took a step away from the table, away from Thoren. “Now?”
Thoren’s silhouette moved again, like he was preparing to step down onto the table and leap into her kitchen. “Yes, now. Do you have any reason to stay?”
Cori put a hand out in front of her, her fingertips only a breath away from his knees jutting out towards her. “Yes, Thoren, I have a reason to stay a little longer. I have a boss that I need to speak with, and Ade…”
Oh, Adeline.
Cori would miss her so much. Not seeing her smiling face every day would be an overwhelmingly easy reason to change her mind and stay. Thinking about it truly hit Cori in the stomach… she would be leaving. Going back to them. When, for so long she had convinced herself they were the enemy. Indecisiveness warred within her, and Cori scrunched her eyes shut, blocking out the images of her past. Could she do this?
“Ade… is a good friend of yours?” Thoren asked, the words floating through the haze of panic that had seized her.
Eyes still shut tight, Cori just nodded, and raised her hands to her face, pressing her palms into her eyes. Without a sound, and only a whisper of a breeze to warn her, Thoren was suddenly beside her and a hand was on the side of her arm.
She looked up at him, surprised at the warmth of his hand. Where he now stood in her small kitchen, she could see his face where the moon’s light brushed over it. His eyes were a bright silver in the moonlight, and she could clearly see the hope in them.
“She’ll be able to visit you, if that’s what you would like?”
For a moment, Cori enjoyed being close to Thoren again. It was almost like the old days when they were so close that she had thought nothing, and no one could come between them. But this wasn’t the old days, and something had come between them.
Stepping away from his touch, Cori reached past him to pick up her abandoned glass and padded toward the sink, dumping the water down the drain. She watched the water swirl down a small hole and disappear into nothingness. Cori had studied and trained her whole life to become a Legionnaire, dedicating her life to protecting others. If she stayed in the East Markets, she would be letting that training and hard work disappear just like the water down the drain.
She couldn’t let a tragedy stop her from doing that anymore, no matter how afraid she was of facing the demons that haunted her.
“I’ll make my arrangements and come when I’m ready. You can report back to your father, I’m sure he’ll be very happy.” The words Cori spoke came out bitterly, even though she had missed Maveron Swarbrik over the years. She had missed a lot of things.
Thoren sighed quietly. “I know you aren’t doing this for my father, or for me. But I’m… still glad you’ll be back with us. And…” Thoren seemed to hesitate but spoke anyway. “I know that your father would be proud of your return. That you’re willing to return to the Legion with dignity and grace despite their absence.”
Cori couldn’t help herself, she scoffed at the words. “I’m pretty sure I have no dignity and grace left.” She let the words hang in the air, Thoren looking as though he didn’t know how to respond. “I don’t suppose you know where your Father might position me?”
Thoren didn’t answer her right away, and when she turned to look at him, she could sense a sadness from him, in the way he stood there, his hands open and unmoving at his side. “I don’t know that.”
“Okay,” was all Cori could say.
“I’ll be seeing you then,” Thoren said, and moved towards the window.
“You know you can use—” Cori started to say as Thoren took a few quiet, measured steps onto the table, the windowsill, and then leaped out, “—the door…”
***
Cori toed at the loose stones on the cobbles, standing in the alley between establishments in the East Markets the next morning. Ade was leaning against the side wall of the Weary Fairy in front of her, waiting for Cori to explain why she’d been dragged out here.
Cori had just ploughed through a tough conversation with Maud, where she tried to find the words to thank him for everything that he had done for her. She would have been on the streets without his patronage. He didn’t ask what she would be doing, or where she would be going, but Maud did give a gruff farewell and a pat on the back, and even though he was a tough old bugger who went straight back to stirring a large pot of beef stew, Cori could swear that she had seen the tell-tale twinkle of tears in his eyes.
“Ade, I…” she started, not certain how she could face this farewell. Adeline was such a saving grace, a light in her life when all had seemed swallowed up by darkness.
“You’re leaving,” Adeline said quietly.
When Cori glanced up from her fidgeting feet, she saw Adeline smiling sadly at her.
Slowly, Cori nodded. “Yes.”
“After the past few days, I kind of figured you’d be leaving. The past came calling, and I suppose you had to answer.”
“I… can’t ignore it anymore. Actually, I’m pretty sure my past won’t let me ignore it… Thoren came by my apartment last night.”
Adeline wiggled her eyebrows, eyes sparkling with interest. “That sounds like a juicy tale. Go on...”
Cori scoffed. “No, it’s not like that. We just talked for a bit - he helped me understand what I need to do now, and that’s to be among the Legion again… even if it terrifies me, I want to know if the old Cori still exists, and if I can be her again.”
Adeline looked at her thoughtfully. “I don’t believe that you ever stopped being that person, Cori. You were just… hiding from her for a while.” She offered Cori a sad smile.
Cori pressed her lips together and took a deep breath in. “I have been hiding, and I’m not going to do it anymore. I owe it to myself, and I owe it to my father to see if I can be a Legionnaire again.”
Adeline nudged her on the shoulder. “I know you can be, you’re the toughest person I know. Your father would be proud of you, Legionnaire or not.”
Cori stayed quiet for a moment, looking back down at her feet. “My father loved the Legion,” she said quietly, “he was born into it like I was. Then he was practically a legend while training and was a Legion Five at such a young age. It was my only dream to follow in his footsteps.”
Cori looked up to see the surprise on Adeline’s face. “A Legion Five? That’s huge… would you still want to be one?”
“I don’t know, I can barely imagine going back, let alone picking up right where I left my life. I haven’t entirely slacked off with exercise, but I know that I’ve fallen behind in my skills and training… I don’t think I’d be good enough anymore.” Another admission of Cori’s fears about returning.
Adeline laughed softly. “Please. I’ve seen you in action, so I doubt that very much. Do you know when the next trials will be?”
Cori shrugged in response. The trials to become the Legion Five were new in Holmfirth history. Before the Gods had disappeared, the elite Five had been selected by the Gods. Now, any Legionnaire could put their name forward when the time came and were put through a series of harrowing trials to prove themselves as worthy of the title.
<
br /> “No, they only come up once every few years, if that. It could be twenty years before a place among the Five opens up, no one knows.”
“So then, realistically, you have plenty of time to catch up if you feel you’ve fallen behind.”
“I hope so.” Cori sighed, and stepped towards Adeline, a sinking feeling in her heart at the thought of leaving her. “I’m going to miss you, Ade. I can’t tell you how much–.”
“Hey, now. This isn’t goodbye,” she said, sweeping in for a hug, “I’m going to visit you, and I hope you’ll be visiting me when you can.”
“Of course, I will,” Cori promised, and meant it.
“Good. Now I must get back to work before Maud burns the stew, and it seems like you have somewhere else you need to be.”
Cori nodded, tears welling in her eyes but not falling. With a small wave, Cori turned and walked out from the alley, and stepped into the sunshine of a new morning.
***
Adeline watched Cori walk away with a heavy heart. This was all part of the plan; she had known this all along. But over the past few years, Ade had come to love Cori, like she was her very own blood sister. She could only hope that one day Cori might understand why Adeline had lied to her. She could likely understand, but she might not forgive.
With a sigh, Adeline turned towards the darkness of the alley, the sunshine not yet reaching this part of the world. She looked momentarily at the side door to the Weary Fairy, and when she moved her feet, she instead walked straight past the door and towards the opposite end of the alleyway.
Before Adeline could leave, she cast one last look behind her, to where she had seen Cori disappear around the corner. With a feeling of resignation, she stepped into the crowds of early risers who bustled to gather their wares and food from the vendors lining the streets.
Adeline’s dark hair disappeared into the throng of people, and as the crowds thinned and parted, she was nowhere to be found.
8
Night had fallen, Cori having spent the remainder of the day in her apartment in the East Markets, talking herself into gathering her belongings and travelling towards the Royal Quarter to start her life anew. She felt like a different person already, having made the decision.
Now, Cori braced herself outside of her old rooms at the Legion Compound. She marvelled at how strange it was to be only feet away from where she had grown up, a space that she had once shared with her sister. The rooms now belonged to someone else, the family of the new President. Thoren.
She knew to come here as soon as she had walked back onto Legion grounds. She knew that it would be Thoren who would have the information she needed, and she wanted it to be a quick welcoming. There was something else she needed to do that was tugging at her, pulling her towards another part of the grounds. And if she were more honest with herself, she wanted to avoid Thoren as much as she was able for the time being. She couldn’t bring herself to forgive him, or any of them just yet.
Cori stared at the pale wooden door as if she would burn a hole through it just by looking at it, and then after a deep, heart-regulating breath, she raised her hand and knocked on the door.
When the door opened and Thoren stood before her, Cori couldn’t meet his eyes, and instead gazed beyond him into the dark depths of the room.
Thoren stood, quiet for a moment before saying, “welcome home.”
When Cori finally looked at him, she was at a loss for words. A part of her that had battled and raged inside ever since leaving, felt at peace, Cori finally recognising that equal parts of her inner anguish were caused by her losses, both her family and the Legion. She now had a chance to be a part of the Legion once more, and so that part of her had let out a sigh of relief.
Home, Thoren had called it. Welcome home. And Cori felt that word wriggle into her heart and make itself nice and cosy.
“Thank you,” was all Cori was able offer at his words of welcome. Thoren moved aside, a silent invitation for her to enter the rooms beyond him, but she feared seeing the ghosts of her past haunting the space, and so stayed rooted to the spot at the threshold. “I – can you tell me where my quarters are? I’d like to unpack.”
He nodded, keeping her gaze. “Of course, it’s a room below – I’ll take you there.”
“No need, if you have the room number,” Cori said, taking a step away, already preparing to flee from this too-familiar place.
Thoren’s face turned hard. “I’ll take you. Give me a moment.”
Cori gave him a thin-lipped nod and watched as Thoren retreated into his room and out of sight. She heard a buckle being fixed, and then Thoren was back in view, his head lowered as he focussed on putting on his weapons belt which sat snug around his hips, a sword dangling at his side. She took the brief moment that Thoren was looking down to gaze over him in his form-fitted Legion uniform. Thoren had always been lean and muscled, but two years had allowed him to pack on even more muscle. And there was a hardness to his face, in the set of his jaw and stony eyes that hadn’t been there before either. He had changed so much.
Thoren glanced upwards, and she averted her eyes from her assessment of him. He started moving past her and she fell into step beside him.
After a beat of silence, Thoren spoke. “I know it must be… hard to see me in your old rooms. I could speak with my father…”
Cori glanced sideways at him, an old warmth she used to feel spreading through her against her will, but she squashed it down. “Thank you, but that’s not necessary.”
They rounded a corner and started down some stairs, their footsteps echoing around the stairwell.
“You have Soraya’s old rooms, and they’re… really nice,” Thoren said this as though trying to convince Cori of something, though she didn’t know what.
“Of course,” Cori said, again furtively glancing at him to gauge his expression, “Soraya will be in her new quarters now that she’s a Five. When were the trials?”
She already knew when they had been, but Cori wanted Thoren to speak of it. She didn’t understand how it wasn’t him. He was always supposed to be one of the Five. Just like she’d thought she herself would be.
As they entered the corridor of the floor below his rooms, she watched as Thoren seemed to clench his teeth, a muscle thrumming along the side of his jaw.
“The start of last year,” Thoren said, his voice deceptively casual, “there were a lot of excellent contenders, but ultimately Soraya exhibited the most valuable skills during the final trial.”
Cori couldn’t help the small shake of her head. “I still can’t believe that Maveron and the other Five didn’t select you.”
Thoren said nothing as he stopped in front of a door, and if Cori’s sense of direction was still as good as it used to be, she guessed she was right beneath her old rooms.
She opened the door and peered inside. It was similar, but smaller, though still much bigger than her apartment in the East Markets. There was a four-poster bed in the middle of the room and large double windows stretching the height of the wall on either side. The plush velvet curtains were drawn closed, it being dark outside.
Cori placed her small bag of belongings that she had on a set of drawers and walked over to her bed. It was almost an exact replica of her old bed, and against her will there was a flood of memories. Of Cori and her father, and Nes, and of course Thoren, who had made frequent trips into her rooms, sprawling on her bed and talking into the smaller hours of early morning.
Cori looked over her shoulder at Thoren, still standing in the doorway. He looked at her uncertainly, as though he were also remembering all those days and nights they had spent together, so utterly familiar that it shed light on the stark contrast of their relationship now.
Thoren cleared his throat. “So, have you already eaten this evening? I could join you in the dining hall?”
Cori hadn’t eaten but didn’t feel any hunger. “I’ve eaten, but thank you,” Cori lied, “I actually have something I’d like to do, but it’s…
private.”
He bowed his head, his hand reaching out for the door handle. “Of course. My father will expect you in the morning to discuss your duties.”
“Thank you,” Cori said as the door closed, and she was alone in the room. Her room now.
She took another moment to glance around the space, and when she thought it had been enough time for Thoren to have disappeared from the hallway, Cori left again.
She walked slowly down the long, winding staircase, to the very bottom floor. Instead of going through the main foyer, where she still saw blood and death across those marble tiles, she decided to cut through the back way, past the dining hall.
Cori peered into the large room as she passed by, a few straggling late eaters still milling about, talking, eating and laughing. She recognised a few faces but didn’t have the courage yet to stroll in as though two years hadn’t passed. Cori had some steel she needed to build inside herself to replace the flimsy structure that was currently there before she was able to face the rest of the people she had left behind.
Cori saw that Thoren was in there, quietly retrieving some food from the table still laden with steaming vats and bread rolls. Before she could be seen, she continued past the room until she reached a set of doors that led out into the back gardens of the Compound.
She breathed in the fresh, cold night air as she stepped outside. This had always been her favourite part of the grounds. A large spread of trees spanned the back boundary of the grounds, and in front of her was a series of gardens, scattered with bench seats and statues of notable people or fabled creatures.
But Cori wasn’t there to enjoy her favourite spot next to the rose bushes and under the wingspan of the stone dragon. Instead, she strode off towards the towering marble building nestled amongst the trees. The familiar smells of the roses and freshly cut grass were her companions as she loomed closer to the building, its white, shining exterior glowing in the moonlight.
She saw only two others in the gardens with her, but they were across the lawns in the large, clear flat expanse of grass and were practice sparring with each other, paying no attention to Cori. Their grunts followed by occasional laughter trickled over to her, and she was briefly reminded of when that had been her and Thoren play-fighting in the moonlight.