by Chloe Cullen
Thoren was beside her, a hand on her elbow. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Cori nodded. “I am… It’s just been a while since I’ve been in here.”
“Oh.” Thoren walked another few steps into the main area, his hand sliding from her arm. She watched as he scrubbed a hand through his hair, and Cori had to determinedly look away from the way the muscles across his chest tightened with the movement. “We could go somewhere else?”
“No. I mean, I’ll be fine. Was just a shock for a second.” Cori folded her arms across her chest and moved to sit on the settee near the windows, folding her legs underneath her. Thoren followed and sat beside her, bracing his arm across the back of the chair to face her. Again, Cori had to avert her eyes from him, who was looking every bit like a God in the moonlit room. She had seen him plenty of times without his shirt on, mostly in the training area when the days grew hotter, but here in his room with no lights on felt much more… intimate.
“What did you dream about?”
Cori hesitated. “I… it was about the Massacre.”
She looked up from her hands to find him looking at her with concern. He shifted a little closer to her, and she felt the heat from his leg that was pressed up against her own.
“I’m sorry. What can I do to help?” he asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” Cori answered, her knee bouncing up and down with nerves, “but I would like… to hear what happened to you after we parted that day. I never gave you the chance before I left, and we haven’t spoken properly about it since.”
“Will that help you?” he said, eyes still a bright silver even in the darkness.
“I can’t answer that because I don’t know. I just feel like… I need to know.”
Thoren nodded, seeming to understand. Then he spoke in a quiet, gentle voice. “When I left you at the statues, I ran around the side of the Compound so I could get through the back and into the training halls. I passed a lot of initiates, and I told them to get to the mausoleum and hide. When I got to the training hall, it was already emptying out, and my father was there giving orders that had come from the President. The attackers weren’t in these parts yet.” Thoren met her gaze in the darkness, and when she didn’t say anything, he continued. “I spoke to my father, trying to get everyone who could fight to move towards the entrance hall… to where you were, but he had just sent a number of Legionnaires in that direction and so he asked me to come with him to round up the rest and check the back areas. Brennan had told him he was in charge of making sure no one else got into the Compound. I sometimes wish I’d made a different choice… but I obeyed.”
Cori swallowed and blinked at the stinging she felt in the corner of her eyes.
“If we hadn’t come across anyone, we might’ve gotten to the foyer much quicker. But… they had come in from the back as well. There were only ten of us, and we fought off at least twenty of them who had been trying to search the rooms and pick off any initiates or children. We stopped them and managed to lock up all the back entrances. There were only a few of us left after that and we moved upstairs to assess any threat on the upper floors. We found a few of them and my father and I took them out as quickly as we could… I… we saw Nessida just after that.”
Cori placed a hand over her mouth, unable to hold back her surprise. “You saw Nessida? Where?”
Thoren looked away from her, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “I checked your rooms – well, this room – and she was in here with the door locked. I called out for her and she let me in, she tried to tell me something, but she was sobbing so much I couldn’t understand. I was in such a hurry to keep helping that I just assessed the room, locked all the windows and told her to stay inside until I came back for her.” Thoren looked at Cori again, his eyes set with sadness. “I swear to all the Gods I made sure she would stay and heard her lock the door after I left. But… she was trying to tell me about your father. She must have left again just after that. I should never have left her… I’m so sorry.”
Cori reached out for his hand and took it in hers. “You did everything you could to protect her. You did everything you could to keep everyone safe.”
He swallowed again. “I thought I had… but when me and my father checked the other floors and had made our way out a side entrance to check on the initiates in the mausoleum it was already dark outside, and we found Ione out there, injured and alone. She told us the fight had still raged in the entrance hall when she had chased a group of the attackers outside. We tried to get there as quickly as we could, but it was silent by the time we got there. Everyone was dead… and that’s when I saw you lying on the ground.”
His hand gripped hers harder as he spoke. “I thought you were… I mean, I honestly thought you were dead, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”
He looked into her eyes, and she felt the emotion behind them. “I was fine, Thoren. I am fine.”
“I thank the Gods every day for that.” He took a stuttered breath. “I was so focussed on you, and getting you out of that hall, that when the others saw your father and Nes…” He closed his eyes and turned his head away, as though ashamed. “I could hardly believe it.”
Cori could easily recall the moments after the silence had descended on the hall, the fighting at an end, when it was just her left as she’d cradled the body of her sister. “I couldn’t either.”
Thoren tugged on her hand, and she let him pull her into his chest. Her head rested against his neck and she folded herself up against him while his arms encircled her. They stayed that way for a long time, so long that they fell asleep like that, and woke up still in each other’s arms.
***
Thoren was panting, sweat falling from his temple and dripping from his chin. In the training hall, he was working away at a practice dummy. His fists shot forwards in quick succession, beating at the front of the dummy before he twisted and kicked out. The move would have any normal person flat on their back, but the fake human just wobbled slightly and came back to centre. He kept going, punching, kicking, elbowing.
He breathed in and out steadily, the fog in his mind relentless and unwilling to clear. No matter what he had done that day so far, his mind kept circling back to one thought.
Cori.
Waking up with her in his arms had been so different, yet there was a rightness to it. Her small form had been snuggled up against his chest, her hands fisted and tucked under her chin. She’d looked so contended, and when he’d gazed down at her, he had a feeling of her belonging there, like she just… fit.
Punch. Punch. Kick. Breathe.
He didn’t know what to think about any of it, but it felt like something had shifted between them. They were back to spending most of their free time together, like they had two years ago, but he sensed something different. Whether it was just him, or if she felt the same… he couldn’t be sure.
Punch. Kick. Breathe.
“Woah, killer. Slow down.”
He threw one final punch before he turned towards the voice to find Trey behind him. Thoren breathed in a deep lungful of air and lifted his arm to wipe the sweat from his forehead.
“Hey, man,” Thoren said in between breaths as he stepped away from the dummy for a drink of water.
“You look like you’re taking some serious frustration out on that dummy,” Trey said, folding his arms across his chest.
“What?” Thoren gulped down some water and looked back at the dummy. “Oh, nah. Just getting some training in before the initiates come in for lessons.”
“Alright,” Trey said, looking unconvinced, “you sure nothing else is bothering you?”
“You mean besides the Shadow Legion, our Legionnaires showing up dead, Teller continuing to soil Everton, and an Assassin on the loose?”
Trey let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Well, when you put it like that…”
Thoren shook his head but was smiling. “Thanks, but I’m doing fine. Is there something I can help you with?” He took a seat o
n the bench mounted on the walls and looked up at Trey as he threw a towel around his shoulders.
“Yeah, I wanted to speak to you about some concerns I have. About Cori,” Trey said, continuing to stand over him.
Thoren felt his heart tumble over itself as he sat up straighter. “Concerns about Cori? What do you mean?”
Trey breathed out slowly through his nose, looking thoughtful, as though choosing his words with care. “I was at the Palace this morning when Cori came to take over with Princess Millisa. She seemed distracted to say the least.”
“Distracted…” Thoren said, looking away from Trey in thought. “In what way?”
“Well, she was half an hour late, and she couldn’t explain why. When I asked what she intended to do with the Princess that day, she just shrugged at me and said they might eat some pastries and take a walk in the garden.”
Thoren worked hard to keep the expression he wanted to make off his face. “And that’s a problem because…”
Trey sighed through his nose. “Because she’s in a position of privilege and she is not taking it seriously. The Princess is supposed to be working on her studies. If they take an outing, it must for something necessary, and not just to eat and stroll about the gardens.”
Thoren pulled the towel from his shoulder and bunched it up in his hands, considering what to say.
When Trey got tired of waiting for a response, he said, “I thought I’d come to you first, seeing as you’ve invested so much time in her return and her training.”
Thoren looked back up to him. “What do you mean, come to me first?”
He shrugged. “I want to let the President know that I have doubts she’s ready for such a responsibility. She’s lucky I’m not going to the King and Queen.”
Thoren stood then, letting the towel drop to the floor. “Woah, hold on there. Look – Cori … she’s still going through a lot. And don’t forget she hasn’t been back with us for that long – getting used to being back may take a little while longer.”
When Trey looked impassive and unconvinced, Thoren pressed on. “Leave it with me, I’m still training her regularly, and if I notice she’s not taking her role at the Palace seriously, I’ll speak with her and my father about it. Okay?”
Trey looked like he wanted to argue, but after a moment, he relented. “Fine, I’ll trust you to keep an eye on it.”
He was about to turn and walk away, when Thoren spoke up again. “You remember what she was like, right?” Trey turned back to face him, a crease on his forehead. “Cori was excellent – and I’m convinced she still is. You used to think that about her, too.”
Thoren could see the muscles in Trey’s jaw working, a teeth-grinding moment of thought. Finally, he said, “of course I remember.”
Then Trey turned on his heel and walked out of the training hall.
***
Cori sat on the front steps of the Compound as the sun set. She had just ridden Molly from the Palace and was happily recalling what had turned out to be a wonderful day. While it had been a later start than she’d intended, everything seemed… good.
From the moment she’d woken up, warm and peaceful with Thoren, she’d breezed through the day as though she had things in her life to be excited about again. The Princess was such a beautiful young girl, and as Cori had watched over her studies the past weeks, she also came to learn what a bright mind she wielded. Cori was stunned to have had a conversation about Holmfirth’s political history that afternoon, Millisa rattling off accurate facts and well-reasoned opinions. She couldn’t help but smile around the young girl and look forward to watching her continue to grow as a person, and as one of the next leaders of Holmfirth.
Then there was Thoren. Every time her mind wandered to him, she felt the muscles in her stomach clench, but in a way that made her blush as opposed to making her feel ill. Cori hadn’t thought she was capable of those kinds of feelings, the ones that made her look to forward to something. So much of the past few years had been made up of dreading everything… of avoiding everything. Now, she had never wanted to avoid something less.
Cori smiled, tipping her head back to look at the sky, dimmed with twilight, the first few stars peeking out.
On days like today, Cori could almost imagine that the things that were bothering her, still tearing at her, were gone. That she was just a normal girl with a fulfilling job and friends that she adored.
Cori looked out across the courtyard and the sloping lawns, watching as a few Legionnaires milled about as they lit the lanterns, her thoughts as contended as they had been for the longest time. Because even though she was not just a normal girl, and there was still plenty of worry in her life, Cori allowed herself to have this rare moment.
This moment of peace and happiness.
33
Another day passed, and Cori still felt that same level of peace she had felt the day before. Especially sitting amongst some of her favourite people in the training hall during the afternoon, watching a good-natured fight.
Cori laughed loudly as Gryffin threw Thoren to the ground with a thud, the breath leaving Thoren’s lungs in a loud whoosh.
Gryffin stood up, throwing his arms into the air in victory.
Cori and Romy sat side by side and clapped to a good fight. “Well done, guys.”
“Yes, well fought,” Romy said in her delicate way.
Thoren, flat on his back, also laughed and accepted the hand up that Gryffin offered him. Thoren clapped him on the back, a wide grin on his face, before he glanced up and met Cori’s eyes. His grin faded to a faint smile, and she felt herself swallow at the way he was looking at her.
Romy nudged her before saying quietly so only Cori could hear, “things seem… better between the two of you?”
Cori felt herself blush, but faced the other girl, unable to hide her smile. “Uh, yeah. Things feel good again between us. I… was foolishly angry with him for so long.”
Romy smiled, a small but genuine smile that reached all the way to her amber eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Cori. After everything, all I want for you is to find happiness.”
“Happiness…” Cori murmured to herself before glancing briefly at Thoren, who was laughing, engaging in a fresh fight with Gryffin. Cori looked back at Romy, who was watching her closely. She was touched by Romy’s words, though she wasn’t sure how to respond. Cori decided to direct the conversation away from her. “Are you happy?”
A little grin tugged at Romy’s lips and she looked away dreamily, causing Cori to laugh.
“I’m very happy,” Romy finally said, “Trey is… different with me than he is with everyone else. He can be so sweet and gentle.”
Cori felt genuine joy at the thought of Romy and Trey finding happiness together. No matter how her relationship with Trey had broken down, she wanted him to have someone as amazing as Romy. Cori grinned at her. “It makes me happy to hear that,” she nudged at Romy’s knee playfully, who giggled.
“Me too,” she said, and then blushed scarlet, “I think I’m… I mean, I think maybe we’re…”
Cori was stunned. She had never seen Romy stumble over her words before. “You’re in love?” Cori supplied.
Romy met her eyes gratefully before nodding, a blissful look on her face. Cori felt her smile fading a notch, and unconsciously looked over to Thoren before quickly turning back to Romy.
“How do you know?” she asked quietly.
“That we’re in love?” Romy asked, and Cori nodded. She looked thoughtful, her eyes glazing over in wonder. “I guess it’s the way we are with each other. And… I think you know you love someone, and they love you back when that person knows the darkest parts of your life, and the worst things about you and it’s… it’s okay.”
Cori felt a sinking sensation that went from her heart right to the bottom of her feet. Instead of looking at the person she suddenly desperately wanted to look at, she forced her gaze to stay on Romy.
“Does Trey know?” Cori asked, her voice soundin
g a little strained, “the darkest parts of you, I mean?”
Romy looked away then, her hand coming up to touch her face, fingertips pressing into the scars on the side of her cheek. Watching her, an inexplicable sadness passing over her face, made Cori feel as though she were intruding on a personal moment.
“Yes,” Romy said thickly, before dropping her hand and looking down at her lap. “He does know the worst thing about me. And he treats me no different for it.”
Cori reached over and took her hand. “That sounds like love to me,” Cori said, smiling at Romy, even though her insides had turned into a roiling mess.
“Hey,” came a voice in front of her, and Cori looked up to find Thoren staring down at her, “ready to practice?”
Cori forced a bright smile onto her face. “You bet.”
She stood, letting go of Romy’s hand and giving her a quick smile, which was returned in full brightness.
Cori followed behind Thoren, who was heading towards the weapons room. Thoren had promised he would teach her to be more adept with some of the larger weapons. Cori had wanted to decline the opportunity, but as Thoren had put it, she might not always have access to her favourite weapons during a fight.
When they entered the weapons room, which was empty, Thoren went immediately to the racks with the larger practice blades. He pulled one down and handed it to her, and then pulled another one down for himself.
Thoren made a couple of swings with the long blade, which made whooshing sounds as it sung through the air. Then he pressed the tip into the mats under their feet, leaning on the blade and glancing up at her.
“Can I ask you something?” he said, and there was enough uncertainty in his voice that she felt her heart quicken.
Cori gripped the practice blade firmly, seeming as though she was trying out the weight of it. “Of course,” she said, surprised that her voice sounded stable.