by Elsie James
I announce myself. “Jessa, Gram, there you are.”
“We’re just taking a minute to enjoy the flowers,” Jessa says in what can only be described as the biggest understatement of the year.
“Let’s head back,” I say.
Jessa and I walk Gram back to the barn. Jessa sits Gram in her wooden rocking chair. Cheryl wraps her in an oversized blanket. Gram looks like a child as she often does these days.
“Don’t worry about her, we’ve got it,” Cheryl whispers knowingly in my direction. I tell Cheryl that I won’t worry. But of course, I do worry. I love Gram. We all love Gram.
I look at the picture of Gram on the plaque near the entry to the barn. “Gram Benjamin Nursery. Love Blossoms when Planted in Faith.” I always thought it should say, “Gram Benjamin, Unbothered Legend.” But, she chose the quote herself. Which makes sense because even back then, she lived her life accordingly.
Gram lived in absolute loyalty and dedication to her husband. His happiness was hers. When he was taken from her so early in her life, everyone around Gram panicked. What would she do? How would she survive? Would Gram find the will to live without him? But, not Gram.
Gram carried on steadfast in faith that love would blossom for her again if she was brave enough to plant the seeds. It is because of Gram and her seeds of faith that this nursery that brings so much beauty into the world exists. Three years ago, Gram learned of her diagnosis. We all told her to retire. But, Gram just smiled at us. She said if she was going to be forgetting things and wandering, we should build her a fence and let her wander amongst the flowers. So we did.
***
For the first time in my life, I’m thankful for the bumper to bumper traffic that confronts us on the way home. I promptly enter the slow lane. I will never be upset about more time with Jessa. Everything about this day with her makes it impossible for me to want it to end. The way her body teased mine with every touch. The fact that she exists almost exclusively on desserts. How Jessa knew exactly what to say to Gram.
“You were incredible with Gram,” I say.
“Gram is an easy person to love. They all were. You work in an incredible place.”
“I loved having you in my world today.”
“Since I have been in your world now, does that mean I get a copy of the top-secret cookie recipe?” She smiles playfully.
I place my hand on her thigh. “Yes, I will make sure you get the recipe. Jessa, you fit in this picture with me. I don’t want to keep having to make up flower related errands to feel like this with you.”
She slides her left hand into my right. I wrap my fingers through hers. Every part of my body responds to her touch. I think about the outline of her hips in her black pants and her long hair trailing down her back.
“You’re my dream girl. Perfect, right now, just as you are. Wherever you’re going, I will help you get there.”
“But, I’m not perfect,” she responds. “I have so many broken parts. I’ve been depending on myself for a very long time. You see me at work being perfect, but working is all I know. Working is all I ever saw. My mom had two, sometimes three, jobs to keep us afloat.”
I pull her fingers to my mouth and kiss them. “That is her story. It doesn’t have to be yours. Trust me. Lean on me, and I can teach you about the other parts of life. Let me show you what it feels like to rely on someone. Let me show you what life can be like when you make room for it.” I need her to understand that she does not have to make the choice she’s making. It’s not me or the job. It can be both if she would just get out of her own way.
“It is not that easy. Like I told you, trust is hard for me.” She lays her head back on the seat. “When I was eight, I found out that my father had another family. This whole other world that mom and I knew nothing about. It changed everything for me, broke me.”
A fierce need to protect her courses through me. I hate her dad. I want to pick up this beautiful, broken woman piece by piece. Hold her upright until she can stand on her own.
“Jessa, you’re not broken. You are perfect.” I squeeze her forearm.
“It’s ok, it was a long time ago. I just want you to know why I’m hesitant.”
I slide my hand between her head and the seat and gently tug the hair on the back of her head. “Sweetheart, we’re home.” I pull into her driveway.
“We?” She looks at me with those huge, round eyes. Her face flushes with color as she draws her left knee onto the seat and it touches my thigh. Jessa reaches for me and places a hand on my chest.
I pull her against me hungrily and the smile fades from her face, replaced with desire. The blood rushes between my legs as she straddles me. Her breasts brush my chin as my hands roam the curves of her body. Jessa is so sexy. Her full lips crash down onto mine. I pull her tongue into my mouth and nibble her lower lip. When Jessa arches her back, her hips slide into mine and my erection throbs beneath my zipper.
A buzzing sound comes from Jessa’s purse. Jessa stops moving, but my body still begs for more.
Chapter 4: Jessa
“Sorry.” My shoulders slump. “It’s my alarm, just my way of reminding myself that I need to finish making a mock up for a client.”
The last thing I want to do is climb off of Michael. He is so sexy and charming. Michael challenges me to want more from life. I love that about him. The way he looks at me like he needs me, like I belong to him, makes it hard to pull myself away.
Michael takes my phone and tosses it on the floorboard of his truck. He wraps a fistful of my hair in his hands and gives it a tug, pulling my body to his. “It can wait.”
I want it to wait. I want the whole world to wait. But doubt flashes through me. Can it wait? Shouldn’t I be finishing everything on the list before the morning? Should we even be doing this right now? Most of me wants to stay because, well, Michael and his washboard abs. Not to mention how sweet he is and the way he always makes me smile. But the responsible part of me knows I have so much to do before work tomorrow.
Unfortunately, the responsible part wins. I decide to call it a night and climb off of Michael.
Michael unbuckles his seatbelt. “Let’s go, dream girl. Right now, you are mine.”
He walks around the truck to my side and rips the door open. I don’t want this to end. Nobody has ever looked at me with as much desire as I see in Michael’s eyes right now.
I step out of the car, knees shaky. He is completely irresistible. His hand on my arm sends fire throughout my body. I imagine what sex with Michael will feel like, safe and wild. It’s an experience I won’t deny myself.
Michael picks me up and throws me over his right shoulder. I let out a squeal of delight. His left hand grabs the back of my right thigh as he carries me across my yard. He walks into my house, through the dark kitchen, and into my bedroom. Michael pushes me onto my bed and touches every part of my body. Every worry I have about work melts away with his touch.
Sliding his clothes off, he then lowers his enormous body down on top of mine. His soft lips tickle my ear as he whispers to me. “Slow down and let me show you how much I want you.” He lifts my shirt, exposing my bra and breasts. I can feel his firm length pressed hard against my leg as he teases my body with kisses from my navel to my neck.
Michael pulls a nipple into his mouth, causing it to tighten. My body tenses with excitement, electricity running over my skin. His tongue curls around my needy tip and then slides down my body, not stopping until he’s on his knees by the side of the bed.
He unbuttons my pants, peeling back the top to expose my lacey underwear. He tickles my skin with his fingers and pulls off my pants. My core is wet with anticipation. As he spreads my thighs, I whisper “yes.” Michael’s tongue parts my lips. I gasp, body jerking, as I feel his tongue circling on and around my sensitive clit.
“I can’t take it anymore. You’re so sexy,” Michael says, panting.
Pulling a condom from his wallet, he flips me effortlessly onto my stomach. I am ready for h
im, so anxious to feel him. He thrusts deep inside of me.
“You are so wet,” he moans. Michael grabs my hips and pulls my ass against him. He rhythmically slams into me.
I’m delirious with pleasure as warm pressure builds low in my stomach. I have never felt anything like this primal passion flowing through every inch of my body.
I am so close, minutes pass like seconds. Sweat streams down Michael’s broad chest. The wetness between my legs blooms. Michael thrusts deep into me one last time. Tremors wreck my body as I orgasm. He pulsates inside of me, moaning with each fiery throb. With a final wave of pleasure, he collapses beside me.
After we catch our breath, I turn my head to him and smile. In response, he engulfs me in his arms. Michael looks all the way through me. “You are it for me.”
I spend the night wrapped up in Michael. As the sun comes up, we join together again, hearts and bodies in complete alignment.
The daylight shines through my bedroom window, and I wake up in a complete panic. Why is it so bright? Why didn’t my alarm go off? What time is it? A vision of Michael tossing my phone under the seat in his truck flashes through my mind.
I grab my robe and run out to Michael’s truck. I frantically pull my phone from under the seat. It’s 9:40 AM. I have six missed alarm notifications, two calls from Juni, and a call from my client meeting this morning asking me to send the mock ups before our ten o’clock meeting. This is my nightmare.
When I dart out of the shower, Michael opens his eyes. “Hey sweetheart, come over here,” he says sleepily.
“I overslept and I haven’t done the mock ups for my meeting. I have to go right now.” I reach for my shoes and Michael grabs my arm.
“You were amazing,” he smiles.
“Michael!” I surprise myself with my shrill tone. Sure, he looks delicious. And if I ever had a day off, I’d spend it with him. But, now is not the time. “You don’t get it. I need to leave. I’m going to be late for the first time ever.”
“Listen, sweetheart, you are ok. I can help you do whatever needs to be done. I’m just disappointed we don’t have time for round three this morning.” He chuckles. Does he think this is a joke?
“It’s not funny, Michael. People choose Petals because I'm a professional. They know they can count on me to go the extra mile for them. I have built my entire career on the back of hard work. I can’t just not send a mock up when I already committed to it.” Since Michael and I have been hanging out, it has been hard to stay on top of everything at work.
“Jessa, I get it. You are the hardest worker I have ever met. That is one of the things that makes you so incredible. I’m not going to work against you on that, sweetheart. I’ll make you some coffee while you finish getting ready so you can get out of here.” He heads towards the coffee pot on my counter.
“Coffee?!?” I explode. “I don’t have time for coffee. This is why we don’t work. Staying up all night. Rushing around all morning. Getting to work late. It's not how I live my life. I can’t do this with you. ”
I slam the door and walk quickly to my car. This is exactly what I was worried about. One night of mind blowing sex and I have completely gone off kilter. He can’t possibly understand what I am talking about. I can’t imagine the pressures of flower delivery and rec league baseball are anything like the pressure I’m under. When I am ready, I hope to find a guy just like Michael. He really is sexy, sweet, loyal, and charming. But, the timing is not right. I have to stay the course with Petals and build my life on my own.
Chapter 5: Michael
I get dressed and make Jessa’s bed. I need her to understand that a relationship with me is not a liability for her career. I told Jessa that I would pass along my family’s recipe and I am a man of my word. With that in mind, I tear a blank page from the notebook on the counter and scribble down Gram’s recipe before locking the door.
The game flies by in what feels like an instant. Thoughts of last night play on repeat in my mind. Jessa, her naked body on mine. The way she gave herself to me. The way she tastes. The way she said we would never work. I need a plan.
I ask Shane to grab a drink with me. Since college, Shane has never missed an opportunity for a drink. I don’t know what I would do without him.
“So, Mikey.'' Shane stares at me across our usual table at Trixie’s Tavern. “Let’s hear it. What's the news with the flower girl?”
“Jessa? I don’t know man. I keep finding these beautiful women. But they either just want my money, or with Jessa, I don’t exactly know. She runs her own business and is committed to it. It just seems like she doesn’t want to make time for anything else. You know me, normally I let them go and am onto the next. But Jessa is different.”
Shane laughs. “Come on, who are you? Forget her. We haven’t even met her yet. It’s like she doesn’t even care what we think about her. You’re so good at ignoring the red flags. This is just like Chasity, the gold-digger of Snob Hill. We all saw it coming with her bro, she was selfish, entitled...”
“No man, she is not like that.”
Shane falls silent, a rare sight.
Jessa is nothing like any of the girls from my past. “She is the one for me. There’s no way I am going to let her get away.”
***
Jessa clears my calls. Twice. So I head to Petals. I have no choice. I throw my truck into park and unbuckle the oversized floral arrangement of red roses from my passenger seat. The red, heart-shaped balloon attached to the back of the flower pot blows in the wind as I walk up Main Street.
Through the large windows of Petals, I see her. My body moves on autopilot toward her. We make eye contact. Jessa swings open the huge wooden door.
“Jessa.” I pull her to me. “I understand that you’re passionate about your work. I would never keep you from it. I want you to do anything you want to do. I want to help you get there. I saw the way you were so sweet and patient with Gram. We can do this. It’s worth trying.”
Jessa’s face goes red and her eyes go dark. She looks devastated and angry. I hold her shoulder and search her eyes, trying to find the Jessa from last night. Her gaze meets mine. Her full lips press together in a tight line.
“Michael, I depend on myself. I need to be able to work, it’s what I do. Since we met, things have been slipping at work and in my life. A long phone call while I have customers in the shop. A lunch date here, a late night there. I have responsibilities, and you deserve someone who can give you their whole heart.”
I hold up the floral arrangement. “This is for you.”
She smiles briefly at my presentation. For a minute, I think my Jessa is back. But then, she speaks. “How can you afford this? This is exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.” Ugh, I forgot to remove the price tag. “Who spends $200 on a flower arrangement for a florist? It’s so sweet, and I want you to find someone who appreciates it. You work hard for your money, and I would feel better if you saved the money or spent—”
“Money? Jessa? Really, this is about money for you?” My blood boils. I can’t believe what I am hearing.
She rips her arm from mine. “No, Michael. It's not about money, it's about motivation. It’s about you not spending your time on the things that matter. It’s about your trivia nights and rec league baseball teams instead of creating a life for yourself.”
I’m sick. I thought she was different, but here I am again. Another woman with money as her bottom line. I lose control. “I own the nursery. It’s mine. Gram Benjamin is my grandmother. I bought it for her with the millions I earn in my real estate business. I own bungalows all over town. I work to restore them to their original beauty. My life’s work is preserving this town.”
Jessa says nothing. Even now, part of me hopes that this will be enough. If it's money she needs, I have it. I can take care of her, help her. Jessa steps back. There is not an ounce of relief on her face. Only fury. Her voice is so low it is barely audible.
“So, you lied?” Frustrated tears stream down her f
ace. “You have this whole other life where you invest in real estate and you buy nurseries for your Grandmother and you have…” She trails off.
“Money? Yes, I have money. Is that really what matters to you?”
“No!” Jessa shouts. “You’re walking around pretending to be someone you’re not. You said you loved having me in your world, but I haven’t even seen your world. What else are you lying about? Do you own the pub? Because that would make sense with as much time as you spend there.”
“Really? Sorry, but you’re not perfect. You’re choosing not to let me in. You’re intense. You’re passionate and inspired. And you are so beautiful. I would do anything if I thought I could change your mind. But I have already done everything I know how to do. Dammit, Jessa, I love you. Of course I do. But you are stunningly unavailable. All you care about is money.” I set the flowers down and throw my hands in the air. “I guess that makes you my type. This is my red flag, and I can’t ignore it.”
Chapter 6: Jessa
The next morning, the recipe Michael left for me stares at me from my countertop. Flashes of his smile float through my mind. I gather all of the ingredients and take a stab at making my own Gram Benjamin’s Chocolate Chip Cookie. I might even add sprinkles. How is that for no life?
Why could he not just tell me? A secret like that is too big to forgive. And Ainsley and Juni are not right. I don’t have social media because I just don’t want it. I’m not afraid of it. That’s ridiculous. In fact, I’m downloading it now. Right now.
The tea pot whistles as the apps finish installing on my phone. I put on my bulky, gray, old lady robe that I’ve had since high school and open the app.