“Dammit, Charlee!” He threw the dish towel on the counter, suds flying everywhere. “Yes! What else do you want me to say? Yes! I agree with all of that.”
Charlee stood within an arm’s reach of him, her mouth hanging open at his outburst, unsure of what to say. The words out of his mouth were everything she wanted to hear, but the tension radiating off him and the tortured look on his face was saying something completely different.
“You…your presence. Heck, everything about you turns me on and confuses the hell out of me. You drive me…crazy! Yeah, that’s it. You drive me crazy, all right?” He angrily dried his hands. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Because that’s how you make me feel. Like…like I’m losing my damn mind! I can’t stop thinking about you, and it’s making me nuts. I miss the hell out of you, okay? Now stop with all of the questions!”
Breathing hard, he white-knuckled gripped the edge of the counter and hung his head as if it had taken every bit of energy he had to admit that to her.
A slow smile spread across Charlee’s mouth. Surely, he knew telling her to stop doing something was like telling her to go for it. Most people would be sympathetic to the apparent battle going on inside of him. She wasn’t most people. Happiness bubbled inside of her at the thought that she was making him crazy.
Served him right. The way she’d been missing him had been just as much torture, and she was glad he’d been experiencing it, too. Heck, she was so elated, a happy dance on top of the counter in only her underwear seemed in order. But she wouldn’t. At least not today.
“Okay, now that we got that out in the open, let’s talk.”
He whipped his head around so fast it was a wonder it didn’t roll off of his neck.
“Are you kidding me? We just talked. I just talked.”
Charlee burst out laughing. She laughed even harder when he rolled his eyes and poured himself another cup of coffee. If it was left up to Liam, he’d probably never talk.
“Okay, okay, I’ll do the talking and you’ll listen, something you’re really good at anyway. But there’s just one thing.”
Just as he brought the mug up to his lips, Charlee took it from him and set it on the counter next to the stove. She tugged on the front of his shirt, and Liam lifted a questioning brow but allowed her to pull him closer. His dark, piercing eyes met hers.
They wanted the same thing.
Her body hummed with need and her nipples tightened at the burning desire illuminating in his eyes. When his gaze volleyed from her eyes to her mouth, Charlee couldn’t resist any longer. She raised up on tiptoe and gently pressed her lips to his, anxious to see if that spark that they once shared was still there.
A jolt of electricity raced over her skin and excitement pulsed through her veins as her senses leaped to life.
Yep, that spark is still there.
She might’ve started the kiss, but Liam quickly took over. One of his strong arms encircled her waist and he pulled her tight against his body while his other hand gripped the back of her neck. His tongue swept into her mouth with a soul-reaching urgency that had Charlee gripping the back of his shirt, holding on for dear life.
She wasn’t surprised by her own eager response. Each time she’d seen him, she’d wanted to kiss him, taste him, be reminded of how perfect his mouth felt against hers. She wanted to be locked in his arms again and finally, finally she was right where she wanted to be if only for a minute.
When the kiss ended, a whoosh of air burst from her lungs and Charlee steadied herself, trying to exude some level of coolness. She didn’t want him to see how much the kiss affected her.
The left corner of his juicy lips quirked up. “I wondered if you’d taste the same,” he said huskily.
“Well, did I?” she asked, her voice shakier than she would’ve preferred.
His gaze lowered to her mouth and settled there for a while before reaching her eyes again. “I think I need another sample before I can form an official answer.”
He pulled her body tight to his, her breasts pressed firmly against his hard chest. His hands slid slowly down the side of her body, scorching everywhere he touched before settling on her hips.
Oh yeah, this was what she needed, what she desired more than anything. Things might not be settled between them, but if the kisses were any indication, they were officially waving the white flag. Their truce was secure.
Liam moaned and held her tighter as if he couldn’t get enough of her. A wave a power engulfed Charlee. It was nice to know she still affected him mentally and physically.
Sparks of desire roared through her body, but reality knocked inside of her head. This was just a kiss. Steamy. Hot. Delicious. But it was just a kiss. All it proved was that they were still very much attracted to each other. They still needed to talk, to discuss the past that had ultimately affected them both.
She whimpered when she had to slide her lips from his. I want you so bad, teetered on her tongue, but she kept those words to herself. She had pretty thick skin, but Liam had the power to knock her down a peg or two with very few words. The last thing she wanted was to move too fast or say anything that would make him return to glaring at her.
Charlee backed out of his hold. “Let’s talk. I mean, I’ll talk and you can listen.”
She returned to the kitchen chair that she had vacated and watched his every move. As if he had all the time in the world, he placed his coffee mug in the microwave and turned it on. He also heated more water in the kettle, and Charlee assumed it was to top off her tea.
Was he intentionally taking his time to join her at the table? He knew she wanted to discuss their history. Did his hesitance mean that she had read too much into his admission of missing her? But why not just ask her to leave if he didn’t want to discuss their past?
Liam scooped up the last of the lasagna and put it in a plastic container before placing it in a small paper bag. Instead of just telling her that it was for her, he pointed between her and the bag that he’d set on the edge of the counter. He really was a thoughtful guy even if he acted like a barbarian at times.
Finally, he joined her at the table with their drinks. “Talk,” he said gruffly, and Charlee struggled to keep from rolling her eyes.
He might’ve worn a tough, I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude, but she knew the man behind the mask. The man who could be sweet, caring, thoughtful while still exuding a masculine power that would make others think twice about stepping to him with some nonsense.
Charlee wrapped her hands around the mug and stared into the liquid as if it would give her courage and the words needed to start this conversation. She already knew that if she didn’t say anything, Liam could sit there for hours staring at her without mumbling a word. Then they still wouldn’t be any closer to shutting and locking the door of the past to make room for something even more spectacular in the future.
“I’m sorry for the way things ended between us,” Charlee finally said. “Despite what you thought, I wanted to marry you. I wanted, and had planned to spend the rest of my days with you, and I hate that I didn’t fight to keep you in my life.”
She chanced a glance at him. His elbows were on the table, his mug was near his mouth, and his unwavering attention was solely on her. Anybody else would jump in and say something at this point, but not him. At least he was listening. In the past when she tried apologizing for how things turned out, he wouldn’t let her say the words before changing the subject or walking away.
Charlee inhaled and released a slow, calming breath. She was hesitant to put her heart out there. She wanted another chance, wanted him to give them another chance to prove what she already knew. They belonged together. But maybe it would be best if she focused on them being friends and regaining his trust. She’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in her life at all. Yet, she still felt a need to explain why her career was so important to her.
She blew on the tea before taking a careful sip. “I always wanted to be a successful businesswoman. Pr
ove to myself and others that I was capable of making a thriving company even more profitable. However, I didn’t mean to put my career before you. I thought I could have a great job, you, and a family. Clearly, I didn’t know how to juggle everything. I actually thought I could have it all.”
“You can have it all,” Liam said, and Charlee’s head jerked up. “What I mean is that you can have the life that you desire. It’s all about balance, setting priorities, and being committed to what’s important. Only you can decide what’s important to you.”
Charlee studied him, shocked that he’d said that much. She was also trying to decipher what else he was really saying behind those carefully worded words.
“Are you saying I wasn’t committed to us? That you weren’t important to me?”
“I think you wanted to be committed to what we were building, but your career was more important.” Charlee started shaking her head, but he lifted his hand to stop her from speaking. “You wanted to prove to yourself and to your father that you had what it took to run the company. I understood that. What I couldn’t get with was you always putting work before me.”
A stab of pain pierced Charlee’s chest and she broke eye contact. He was right. She was on a mission to learn every aspect of Fenlon Manufacturing for the purpose of one day running the company. Her father would never let her slide into a leadership position. She had to earn it. She had to prove that she was worthy and could actually do the job.
“I loved you, and there is nothing I wouldn’t have done for you,” Liam said quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself.
Charlee returned her attention to him. Seeing hurt in his eyes was almost her undoing, and she swallowed, batting her eyes several times to keep her tears at bay.
“But after we were engaged, you canceled on me one too many times. I was prepared for all of the traveling, even agreed to go with you sometimes. When you weren’t ready to set a date for the wedding, I was fine with that. As long as I knew you would one day be my wife, that was all that mattered. We talked about when we’d start a family, and you said you wanted to wait at least five years. I could live with that. I was prepared to do whatever necessary to have you in my life.”
Liam cleared his throat and ran his hand over his mouth and several minutes ticked by without him speaking. Charlee wanted him to say what hadn’t been said back then.
“One cancellation turned into another, then another, then another. It was clear then that you and I weren’t on the same page. I’m a firm believer that however a relationship starts, that’s how it will end up. I didn’t want to always be an afterthought, and you weren’t ready for what I was ready for which was marriage and starting a family.”
But I’m ready now, Charlee wanted to say but remained quiet. It wasn’t easy being reminded of how the end of their relationship played out. When he’d asked her to marry him, it had come out of nowhere, but saying yes had been a no-brainer. She loved him completely and had no doubt that he loved her.
At first, she hadn’t realized that she was putting him second. She also hadn’t realized just how many events, dinners, or even date nights she’d had to cancel on. It wasn’t until Liam had surprised her and showed up at the hotel during one of her business trips in Minnesota did she realize something was wrong. She had been so happy to see him until he started pointing out how much she had missed. He broke off their engagement, claiming she didn’t love him enough.
Charlee reached over and covered his hand with hers and squeezed. “I’m sorry. I am so sorry I took you and your love for granted. Please believe me when I say that I loved you then, and I will always love you, Liam.”
His eyes searched hers before he spoke again. “We can’t go back. We’ll never be able to go back to what we had.”
Charlee eased her hand from his as her heart plummeted to her stomach. Raw hurt and terrible regrets filled the empty cavity between her ribs and she fought to keep tears at bay. Without a word, she rushed from the kitchen and hurried down the hall to the bathroom, refusing to be humiliated any more than she already had been.
I am such a fool.
Chapter Twelve
Ah hell.
Liam ran after her, but before he reached the hallway, the bathroom door slammed. This was why he preferred listening over talking, especially when he spoke before thinking. Why couldn’t he have kept his thoughts to himself?
“Charlee, open the door.” When she didn’t respond, and he didn’t hear any movement, he checked the doorknob and found the door unlocked. “I’m coming in,” he said as he eased the door open.
She was sitting on the cushioned bench, her head down and a crumpled tissue in her hand. Charlee wasn’t an overly sensitive woman, which meant he had really screwed up. How did he keep getting into these situations? He didn’t go around hurting women. Yet, in a matter of forty-eight hours, he’d managed to do just that with two women he cared deeply for.
He snatched a couple of tissues from the Kleenex box on the vanity and sat next to her, hoping the bench could hold them both. He swapped out her used tissue for the clean ones, tossing the crumbled ones in the nearby trash can.
“Thank you.” She dabbed at her eyes.
“Listen, I’m sorry for what I said. I’m an insensitive idiot.”
“I agree, but I know you can’t help it.”
A slow smile spread across Liam’s mouth and he shook his head. He meant it when he’d told her that he missed her. His life was more balanced and exciting when she was in it. He also didn’t have as many restless nights and frustrated days.
But this woman…
This woman had the ability to turn his life upside down and inside out, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up right where he’d been almost two years ago. There were too many times with her that he acted out of character, doing and saying things that he wouldn’t normally do.
Liam cringed inside as a few of those memories came to the forefront in his mind. Like the time when they were out of town at a night club and a guy who’d had too much to drink got handsy with her. Liam punched him, breaking his nose. Or the time they were waiting to board a flight out of Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta airport, and she dared him to tell the world that he loved her. He had talked airport personnel into letting him announce his love for Charlee over the loudspeaker.
Liam leaned forward, his elbows on his thighs. There were times he didn’t recognize himself where Charlee was concerned. Yet, he liked how he was when they were together. She loosened him up, forced him to step out of the carefully constructed wall he’d built around himself, and challenged him to live out loud. Left up to him, he’d be totally comfortable alone on a deserted island as long as he could sketch and watch sports. Charlee, on the other hand, loved life, people, and was always up for an adventure.
And he loved her.
Last night he had finally admitted it to himself. He was still in love with Charlee. Even knowing that though, he would never let her take advantage of him or his love again. But he had to find some happy medium regarding his feelings for her.
“What I should’ve said in the kitchen was that, though we can’t go back and fix or redo the past, I’d like for us to at least be friends.”
Charlee lifted her head and narrowed her red eyes. “Really? You want to be friends…with me? Even though I took you for granted? Even though I didn’t fight for you…for us?”
He grinned and bumped shoulders with her. “Yeah, even with all of that. To be honest, it wasn’t all on you. I could’ve done a better job communicating.”
She nodded and stared down at the floor. “Would’ve, should’ve, could’ve. That’s how life goes. Well, I’m glad we talked and got a few things out in the open.”
Yeah, some things were out in the open, but Liam wasn’t ready to tell her how he felt about her. Heck, he was still trying to come to grips with that knowledge himself.
What did it mean to still be in love with her? Could he take a chance on getting involved with her again? W
as he just a glutton for punishment? Or could he ignore his strong feelings for her, keep his distance, and live the rest of his life wondering what could have been?
Good thing he was heading out of town in a couple of days. It was the perfect opportunity to get away and get his head on straight. Maybe by the time he returned, he’d know what to do about Charlee. He meant what he said about them not being able to pick up where they left off, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t start fresh.
“I should probably get going.” She stood, tossing the tissue in the trash. “I hope I didn’t ruin your day.”
“You didn’t.” Liam reached for her hand. “Come here.”
She stepped into his embrace without hesitation. Kissing the side of her head, Liam held her close, breathing in her fresh scent and reveling in the feel of her being in his arms again. He really had missed her, and if he was truly honest with himself, he wanted her back in his life.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said close to her ear.
“I know. I won’t hold it against you, especially since you said I make you crazy.”
A chuckle vibrated inside of him. He missed her humor. “But even so, just know that I care about you. I never want to say or do anything to hurt you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Liam wasn’t sure how long they stood there holding each other. Even when he heard his cell phone ringing, he didn’t let her go.
Charlee lifted her head and looked up at him. Her mouth was only inches from his and Liam wanted more than anything to kiss her again, but he wouldn’t. At least not yet. Not until he came to grips with what he felt for her.
“Are you going to answer that?” she asked. His cell phone was ringing again.
“No, but I should let you get going.” He reluctantly dropped his arms, and they made their way out of the bathroom. When they were near the front door, Liam snapped his finger. “Almost forgot. Let me go grab your lasagna.” When he returned, he handed her the bag.
“Thank you, and thanks for last night,” she said with a grin, her voice husky, her words suggestive.
Unplanned Love Page 9