by Starr, Faith
“Sure. I’d love to.”
Her eyes became brightly lit. “Great. I look forward to it.”
I looked forward to spending more time with her.
“Do you eat lunch now too?” I asked.
“No. I usually assist the aides with feeding the residents.” Her gaze flicked to the small round clock mounted on the wall. “My lunch break is in about an hour.”
Bummer. I would’ve asked her to join my grandpa and me.
“Do you stay here for lunch, or do you go out?”
“I only get a half hour, so I usually brown-bag it.”
The expression made me grin. She was cute and easy to talk to. So different from the women the guys and I met while on tour. Not much conversation was involved or required during those encounters other than, “It was nice to meet you,” after having fucked them.
Lizzie gave off the vibe she knew nothing about my job. I delighted in the normalcy that took place between us—no special treatment.
What I didn’t delight in was how my nerves escalated in her presence. My palms were sweating, and all because I wanted to ask her out, something I rarely did these days. Dating and my current lifestyle weren’t compatible.
“Guess I’ll go feed my grandpa now.” It would be awhile longer before I asked the question because I chickened out.
“Enjoy your lunch.”
I would’ve liked it more if I’d had the balls to ask her on a date, but no, my insecurity had gotten the best of me. At least she couldn’t see the deep breaths I was taking in an effort to calm myself down. Or could she?
Fuck!
She moved on to assist some of the residents to the tables. The room resembled a mini dining hall. The wheelchair-bound patients were seated at one table. Most of the aides sat with them and helped feed and wipe their mouths. It was hard to look at. I couldn’t ever imagine myself being in a position where someone had to feed me and wipe my ass again. I wouldn’t wish this awful disease on my worst enemy.
The other residents ate by themselves. Some ate one food group before moving on to the next one. Others played with their food.
Gramps and I sat at a table for four. Another man sat with us. He seemed with it until I tried to engage him in a conversation. That ended when he told me he had to catch the subway so he wouldn’t be late for work.
I offered the guy some of my grandpa’s fries, and he stuck them in his soup. Alrighty then. I moved on.
“Don’t you want your French fries, Grandpa?”
He hadn’t touched them, which was unusual for him. He usually started with the fries, considering them to be the best part of the meal.
He acknowledged me but didn’t respond to my question. Maybe he was doing the one food group thing and would eat the fries later.
He took four or five small bites of his burger then set it down. His appetite sure wasn’t what it used to be. It was no wonder he appeared so weak.
Maybe feeding him would help? I dipped a fry in ketchup and offered it to him. He took it, which appeased me. I went ahead and dug into my burger.
From the corner of my eye, I watched Lizzie. The woman had the patience of a saint. She sat on the edge of a chair at the table to my right and fed a woman.
“Open up and take a bite for me, Mimi.”
The elderly woman did as she was told. Once she cleared half her plate, Lizzie moved on to assist another woman.
The aides scattered about, collecting dirty dishes from those who had finished eating or were playing with their food instead of eating it.
My grandpa had managed to eat half of a small fry order and a third of a Whopper. I figured something was better than nothing. I gathered the garbage and threw it in the pail next to the kitchenette.
Some of the residents remained at their tables. Others took a walk outside in the enclosed patio. And the rest who weren’t sleeping paced back and forth by the couches.
An alarm chimed whenever the door to the patio opened or closed. I’d have to check out the grounds with my grandpa. Fresh air would be healthy for him. It baffled me how the staff could tolerate being holed up in the unit for hours on end. I could only take so much of the foul urine odor.
“Ryan, how about playing some music for us? The aides are cleaning up, and we usually let the group rest after lunch.” Lizzie stood next to me with hope in her eyes.
“Of course.” I faced my grandpa. “Gramps, I’m going to play the piano. I know how much you love to hear me play.”
The piano was housed to our left, so my grandpa didn’t have to move.
I sat on the wooden bench in front of the worn-out brown upright and stroked a few keys to see how out of tune the instrument was.
So-so. It would do.
“Any requests?” I glanced at Lizzie, who stood with her elbow resting atop the piano. If the swaying she had going was an indication, I’d say she was giddy with anticipation.
“They love the oldies. I’m not sure what you’re familiar with. There are some books with sheet music inside the bench. I’ve seen other visitors and entertainers use them.”
“Excellent.” I stood and dug through the sheet music. Frank Sinatra. I figured his music would satisfy everyone in the room.
I flipped through the pages of the book and settled on “Mack the Knife,” one of my grandfather’s favorites.
“This one’s for you, Gramps.” I pointed at him and smiled. He did the same to me.
Not only did I play the song, but I sang it as well. Some of the more mobile residents gathered around the piano and sang along with me. Others danced while sitting in their chairs or wheelchairs. The key thing I noticed: every single one of them looked happy, my grandpa included. He drummed his fingers on the table, pride written all over his face. Lizzie beamed. The feeling all this gave me was over the top. One would think I had just played for a sold-out crowd.
When I finished the song, a few of the residents asked me to play another one. Feeling high on life, I agreed. I played for a solid half hour, giving them a mini-concert with as much heart and soul as I gave my fans when performing in large stadiums. Music gave me inner peace. It kept me grounded and sane. Lizzie singing along next to me didn’t hurt either.
“Holy cow. That was amazing, Ryan. When you said you played the piano, I didn’t realize you meant in the professional sense. And your voice?” Her hand rested over her heart. “I’m speechless. That was truly remarkable.”
My nerves about asking her out took a hike, being she dug my impromptu performance and all. “Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Everyone looks content.”
“More than content. Thank you. I really mean it. Even though most of them won’t remember the fun they had, for that short period they were overjoyed.”
Her words were heartfelt and almost brought tears to my eyes, especially when I understood exactly what she was talking about. The fact my grandpa would have no recollection of my visit later killed me inside.
She peered at her watch. “Ooh. It’s time for my break. Will you be sticking around or are you planning to leave?”
She gave off the impression she wished for the first one, but I wanted to get to my parent’s house to see what bomb my mother wanted to drop on me.
“I have someplace I need to be, so I’m going to say goodbye to my grandfather and take off.”
The sunshine that disappeared from her expression had mine shining brighter. She didn’t want me to leave. Yes!
“I guess I’ll be seeing you around then.”
“How about dinner?” The words shot out of my mouth as she went to leave.
“Dinner?”
“Yeah. Can I take you to dinner?”
“Umm. Yeah. Sure. Unfortunately, my current schedule keeps me busy. I work here until four then have to be at the club by seven.”
The fucking club.
“What night are you off?”
“My schedule changes weekly. This week I’m off tomorrow night.”
“Then how about I take you to
dinner tomorrow night?”
She nodded, a hint of a smile taking shape. “I’d like that.”
Me too.
Warmth filled me.
“So would I. Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll text you? Then you can give me the info on where I should pick you up.”
The cute upturn of her lips fell, and she became somewhat fidgety. What happened?
“Oh… uh, why don’t we meet up somewhere instead?”
“I’d prefer to pick you up and drive you home.”
“That’s sweet, but you don’t have to. I have an idea. Why don’t you meet me here, my shift ends at four?”
Why didn’t she want me to take her on a proper date? Was it that she was being cautious because she didn’t know me? For safety reasons or something? I could deal with and respect that. There were a ton of whack jobs out there. I wasn’t one of them.
“But then your car will be parked here.”
“That’s not a problem. The lot remains open since staff works round the clock.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
“Great. It’s settled. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon unless you plan on visiting your grandfather beforehand.”
“I’ll probably come early to visit him and then we can leave together.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed then dashed off for the exit.
What an interestingly odd conversation.
6
Lizzie
“Who’s the hottie who visited Morris?”
Alana, the front desk girl, sat with me in the employee lounge. If one could call it that. It was a small room with a fridge, a coffee machine, a water cooler, a microwave, and a rectangular folding table with four chairs.
I wasn’t about to feed into her apparent infatuation with Ryan. I had my own going on and had now agreed to a date with him. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I was digging a deeper grave for myself.
“It’s his grandson.”
“He looks familiar. I can’t place it.” She twirled a few strands of her long brown hair around her finger.
I shrugged. “Maybe from here.”
“No.” She bit into her turkey sandwich. She spoke with her mouth full. “It’ll come to me.”
“Are you working this weekend?” I wanted her focus off Ryan.
“Yeah. Every other weekend I work Saturdays. What about you?”
“I’m strictly Monday through Friday.” I unwrapped my PB&J on whole wheat and took a bite. The stickiness of the peanut butter had me uncapping my bottled iced tea and taking a sip.
“Lucky you. How did you work that magic?”
Wouldn’t she like to know?
So not happening.
“Maybe they have different schedules for different positions.” Sounded plausible and probably true. I had no clue what the center’s policies for staff was other than myself.
She gave me a one-shoulder shrug. “Could be. You lucky duck. I hate working on weekends. Although there’s more action at the front desk because more family members visit. I don’t plan on being here that long anyway. Two more semesters until I graduate.” She wiggled two fingers.
“I didn’t know you were in school. What are you studying?”
“Business. What about you? Are you in school?”
I wished.
“No.”
“So this is it for you?”
Her question made me feel somewhat inadequate. I wondered whether she realized how demeaning it was. As if my job was subpar. Was it my dream job? No. But it served its purpose for this chapter of my life.
“Yup.” I wasn’t about to offer her any more information about my situation. I usually scheduled my lunch breaks for late in the day when others had already taken theirs so I could eat by myself without being questioned about my life and the universe.
I shoveled the rest of my sandwich into my mouth. As a result, my tongue stuck to the roof of it. Too much peanut butter. I chugged down more of my honey green tea.
“Enjoy the rest of your lunch. I’m going to get some fresh air.” I rose and left her to finish her meal in solitude. I went outside to get a breather. While out there, my phone signaled a text. What perfect timing.
Hailey: Checking in. How’s your week going so far?
Lizzie:Hectic as usual.
Hailey:Are you taking time for yourself?
Lizzie:As much as I can.
Hailey:Coffee on Saturday?
Lizzie:Wouldn’t miss it. It’s penciled in for the rest of the year.
Hailey:LOL
Lizzie:It’s not funny. I count the days to engage in intellectual conversation.
Hailey:That’s kind of sad.
Lizzie:But true. How are things with you?
Hailey:Todd is on shift tonight, so it’s me and my lonesome. What are you up to later?
Hailey’s husband was a firefighter and worked overnight shifts.
Lizzie:I’m exhausted. It’s been a long day.
It had been. At least on this day, I’d be leaving with a ginormous smile on my face thanks to Ryan. His talent was out of this world. The man had skill. It made me wonder what his day job was.
Hailey:Come to think of it, I am too.
Lizzie:Alright, chickadee, I hate to rush off, but my break has come to an end.
Hailey:Reach out if you need me.
Lizzie:Will do. It goes both ways.
Hailey:That it does.
Lizzie:PS: Carly and I are doing lunch on Saturday. Coffee with you. Lunch with her. Fun!
Hailey:Why wasn’t I invited?
Lizzie:You know you’re always welcome to join us.
Hailey:I won’t be an afterthought.
Lizzie:Funny.
Hailey: I’m not laughing. Okay, I am. But if that’s how things are going to be, I get you all to myself for coffee. She can’t come.
Lizzie:I’ll tell her you said that.
Hailey:Go ahead.
Lizzie:I think I will.
Hailey: Is that a threat?
Lizzie:You know it.
Hailey:I’m scared.
Lizzie:You should be. Carly is all soft and sweet but is a total badass.
Hailey:You’re right. She is. Ha-ha
I giggled too because Carly was a tough cookie with mushy filling.
Lizzie:On a serious note, got to get back to work.
Hailey:Okey-dokey. See you Saturday. Love you.
Lizzie:Love you too.
Carly and Hailey were my rocks. They helped keep me sane.
The rest of the day was a bore. I left the center, went home, and showered. I took a half hour power nap, hoping it would give me enough energy to power through until the wee hours when my shift at the club ended. The lack of sleep was getting to me, the exhaustion accumulating. My body was literally dragging.
Sadly, my nap hadn’t helped. I felt more sluggish.
While prepping my station, I overheard Isabella and Dena talking with one of the other hostesses about the fun had after leaving the club last night.
“Oh my God. Best. Sex. Ever. And with a rock star nonetheless.” Isabella let the words fall out of her mouth while in a starry-eyed state.
Rock star? Had she been with two different men last night?
“You guys are so lucky. Did you only hang out with Nick, or were the other guys there too?” Sabrina asked.
Dena and Isabella exchanged knowing glances.
“Oh, Nick was hung all right.” Dena smirked. “Right, Isabella?”
“Holy shit! You guys were with Nick together?” Sabrina was practically salivating. “Damn. If I was going to live out a fantasy of engaging in a threesome, that would totally be it. I’m so jealous. Next time don’t be so selfish. Invite me along. Do you think they’ll come back so I can have a chance at one of them? Doesn’t matter which one either. All four of them are hot as hell.”
I was so lost as to what they were talking about.
&nbs
p; “I told Nick not to be a stranger. They’re here for a few weeks before they leave for tour again. Hopefully he’ll make another visit,” Dena said.
Tour?
Enough eavesdropping, I had to get involved.
“The guys you left with last night are in a band?”
Isabella glared at me as if I had lost my mind. “Hello? Where have you been? On The Fence is only the “it” band at the moment. They toured with Steam last year. Another favorite of mine. Steam is taking a break to record their new album; in case you were wondering. Who would’ve thought that when I saw them in concert last year, I’d be fucking one of the musicians from their opening act? Wow. I feel like pinching myself. You’ve heard of Steam, right?”
“Yeah.” I wasn’t living that much in a cave.
“But you’ve never heard of On The Fence?”
No recollection whatsoever.
From the blank stare on my face, she obviously got her answer.
“Girl, you need to get out more.” Sabrina’s disappointment with my musical ignorance was evident by the serious tone in her voice and the manner in which she reprimanded me with a pointed finger.
I had more important things on my mind than being judged by her, such as my new awareness that Ryan was in a famous band. Holy cow. This was huge.
One thing was for sure, it explained his killer voice and impressive piano-playing skills.
“I agree with Sabrina.” Isabella jumped back into the conversation. “I don’t know what you’ve been listening to, Lizzie, but you are definitely missing out. You should check out their music. Wait a second… Forget that idea. Let me show you one of their videos instead. I’ve been watching this one repeatedly since my fun with Nick so I can drool all over what I’ve now had the opportunity to experience. As in, multiple times, if you get my drift.” No blush whatsoever as she nudged me.