by Starr, Faith
“I’m sure you would but it’s not okay to touch others without their permission. Why don’t you eat your cookies? They look yummy.”
“So do you. Can I eat you instead?”
I had set myself up for that one.
“Hey, buddy, show some respect. Huh?”
Uh-oh. Ryan’s voice was elevated.
I gestured for him to relax. It had been my experience that distraction worked best in these types of situations.
Seymour’s cheeks became beet red, his happy-go-lucky self quickly transforming into rage.
Great. Just great.
“You better shut up, or I’ll make you.” Seymour held up his fist, his frail arm slightly shaking.
Ryan’s eyes darted to mine. He stepped back. I nodded to indicate I’d take care of it.
“It’s okay, Seymour. I think Ryan is frustrated because he didn’t get his snack yet.”
“Oh, I’ll give him a snack all right. How about a knuckle sandwich?”
“Let me get Ryan some cookies. Come on, Ryan.”
I moved Ryan away from Seymour to prevent a possible physical altercation, a high possibility on Seymour’s part to use his fists.
Seymour faced the table and took a bite of one of his cookies, simmering instantly.
I exhaled a sigh of relief.
“I appreciate you stepping in. It was thoughtful. In any other place, I’d encourage it, but not here. Some people with Alzheimer’s become hypersexual. They will spew out sexual comments or inappropriately touch others without their consent. His psychiatrist put him on medication to help tone it down, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Believe it or not, Seymour will walk out of his room completely naked. We’ve been instructed to redirect. I don’t take anything he says or does personally. You shouldn’t either.”
“Gotta say, this entire thing is eye-opening.”
“That it is, especially for someone not familiar with the behaviors and symptoms associated with it.”
“I hope my grandfather doesn’t behave so offensively.”
“And if he did, it wouldn’t matter. The staff would know where it was coming from.”
“You amaze me, Lizzie.”
This guy was building me up to be something bigger than I was. The result would be me knocking myself off the pedestal he was placing me on. That was, if I let him. IF. An important word in this context.
“As I told you the other day, it’s all part of the job.”
“You can try to diminish it all you want, I’m impressed.”
A change of subject was pertinent.
“Thanks. Do you want some cookies?” Since we were standing by the counter, I offered him a few. He took one and bit into it.
Stop staring at his mouth.
Even the manner in which he chewed was sexy.
“I better get back to work.” Ryan had me flustered. My palms were sweating. My foot was tapping on the floor.
“Okay. I’m going to go visit with my grandpa some more.”
He got a head nod instead of a verbal reply.
Checking on my grandma was the perfect escape plan.
“How’s your cookie, Mimi?”
She never said a word about me calling her by her proper name. I was grateful for that small miracle. My hopeful self wanted to think she and I were on the same wavelength, that she was protecting our arrangement with the center. My realist self knew it was a pipe dream because most of the time she had no clue who I was.
Her cookie sat on her plate, untouched. That would change. I picked it up and held it in front of her mouth. “It’s chocolate chip, your favorite.”
She took a nibble. I continued to feed her until she ate half the cookie.
Lucy’s cookie sat untouched as well. I fed her the cookie on her plate next.
The aides were sitting on their asses, gossiping. It annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I left my shift, a part of me felt guilty that I wasn’t at the center to oversee the goings on so I could help when and where needed. A lot of neglect took place behind the dark yellow exterior walls of the building. All I could do was make sure everyone was taken care of while I was present.
It didn’t help that the center paid the aides crap. It went with the adage that you got what you paid for—this being a perfect example of that scenario. Sadly, it affected a group of people who were helpless, like babies in a sense, who couldn’t take proper care of themselves. I knew I couldn’t change the world, but at least I was doing my part, albeit a small one, to make things better for them.
After snack, the residents sat on the sofas. I didn’t engage them in another activity because a lot of them were moody.
I popped a DVD into the player. The group loved to watch old musicals. Today’s presentation was an American in Paris with Gene Kelly. The television came to life. I dimmed the lights to create a soothing atmosphere. Some watched the movie, some paced back and forth, while others fell fast asleep.
“Have you seen my daughter? I don’t see her anywhere.” Bonnie sat in her wheelchair, her gaze flitting around the room.
Every afternoon she went on a mad search for her daughter, who was thirty-five and married. A daughter who rarely visited, which saddened me. A lot of the patients were dumped at the center by their family members with a visit here or there, nothing regular or steady. A few lucky ones had repeat guests.
“I believe she’s taking a nap. I’ll let you know as soon as she wakes up.”
“Oh, thank heavens. I was so worried.” She rested her hand over her heart and wheeled away. I knew she’d be back in less than five minutes to ask the same question to which I’d give the same reply. And the daughter she was trying to find wasn’t the adult version. Rather, the preschool version.
The closer it got to four o’clock, the more my butterflies in my stomach multiplied. My mood fit right in with the residents by this point. I too was agitated and impatient.
“Get away from me. Stop pestering me!” Morris shoved Ryan.
I rushed over and curled my finger to indicate Ryan should do as his grandpa requested. Trying to reason with the old man was futile.
Ryan paled. I understood his heartache.
“Ignore him.”
He put his hand out in question. “I don’t get it. Why is he so mad at me? All I did was touch his arm.”
“Their behaviors can get unpredictable. Believe me when I say it’s not you. He’ll be fine. He enjoys watching movies. Leave him be. We should probably head out anyway. I’d like to wash up first, though. If you want, you can wait in the lobby for me.”
“Yeah. Sure.”
Not a convincing affirmative. I knew it wasn’t about the date, but about his grandpa.
“Seriously, don’t take it personally. It really has nothing to do with you.”
I could tell he still didn’t believe me.
The two of us walked toward the secured exit but not without followers.
“Oh, please, I’m going to miss my bus. Please take me with you and drive me to the station. I must get home for dinner.”
Mildred was on the eternal hunt for an escape route. It was patients like her that made secured entrances and exits a must. She would have no problem bolting out the door if given the opportunity.
“Your bus doesn’t leave for another hour, Mildred.”
“No, it leaves in five minutes.” She tapped the watch on her wrist.
“I will come get you and take you to the station before it leaves. Okay?”
“That would be wonderful.” She softened in relief.
Off she went, and Bonnie returned. “Have you seen my daughter? I can’t find her anywhere?” She scoped the room.
“She’s napping, Bonnie. I just checked on her.”
“Thank heavens.” She sighed. “I’ve been searching everywhere for her.”
“She’s sleeping peacefully.”
Seemingly pacified, Bonnie rolled away. I hurriedly entered the code on the keypad so Ryan and I could exit without any more
interruptions.
“Jesus. They don’t let you leave.”
“It’s the same thing every day. I’m used to it.” I secured the door behind us. “Please give me a sec to freshen up. There are couches by the check-in desk if you’d like to sit while you wait for me.”
“Will do.”
In the bathroom, I washed up.
I usually showered as soon as I got home. Today I couldn’t but came prepared. I had brought facial cleanser, deodorant, perfume, and my makeup case. I applied a touch of eyeliner, a smidgen of lip gloss, and a hint of blush. I spritzed perfume on the top I had brought to change into. I didn’t want to go out wearing my uniform shirt.
Before finding Ryan, I took a few deep breaths.
Stay in the moment.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Don’t let him charm you into bed.
Man, I needed to loosen up.
I shook my hands out and faced the music—literally, being Ryan was a musician and all.
There he sat on an armchair, tapping his foot, playing on his phone. He rose when he saw me approach. “You look pretty.”
Pretty? After working in this place all day?
Be polite and acknowledge the compliment.
“Thank you.”
Ryan Josephs was a charmer all right. The big question was, was he being sincere?
The hot pink neon beware sign flashed in front of my eyes again. I’d have to remain mindful to stay on my toes around him.
We left the center and walked to his car. And what a car it was—a white two-door Mercedes. I’d never been in such a fancy car. I couldn’t wait.
He opened the passenger door for me. As soon as I climbed inside, the rich smell of leather enveloped me.
Mmm.
The beauty of the vehicle had me admiring its features: black wood trim, a sunroof, dark tinted windows—I’d bet to keep himself hidden from fans and paparazzi.
Pure elegance—both the car and the man getting behind the wheel of it.
The engine roared to life.
Holy moly!
A digital display lit up in front of us. A soft blue light illuminated beneath the screens on the dash, behind the door trim, and near my feet.
“Your car smells so good. Is it new?”
“About a year old. But it’s kept in a garage, and I haven’t driven it much so in a sense it is. I think I’ve only put three thousand miles on it, if that.”
“I love new car smell. It’s heavenly.” Not that I’d ever indulged in it personally. I still drove my eight-year-old Honda, which had been three years old when I purchased it. The trooper got me from point A to point B so I had no complaints.
“I do too.” He smiled and pulled out of the lot, causing my head to bump against the headrest.
His demeanor became so boyish while driving—carefree and fun.
“Where are we off to?”
“I figured we could do something outdoors since you’ve been cooped up inside all day. How does miniature golf sound?”
“Super fun. I can’t remember the last time I played goony golf.”
“Goony golf?”
I shrugged. “That’s what my grandma called it. I guess the name kind of stuck.”
“Goony golf it is then.”
This guy was nice, as in really nice. Try, scary nice. Usually, when things seemed too good to be true, they were.
The curious part of me wanted to question him about his celebrity lifestyle, but I refrained, wanting him to offer the information himself. It wasn’t as if I had gone behind his back and snooped. Isabella, Dena, and Sabrina had been talking about Nick and the band, and I happened to overhear their conversation.
“You told me you’re visiting for a few weeks. But you also said that your car is garage-kept. I’m confused. Do you live locally?”
“I own an apartment in town. The building has a garage underneath it.”
He didn’t elaborate.
“So if you live here, how is it that you’re visiting?”
“My job keeps me traveling a lot. I’m on a break right now, but they’re so sporadic I consider being home, in a sense, visiting.”
“Gotcha.”
Why didn’t he want to tell me about his band?
“How often do you work at the club?”
He redirected the conversation.
“It changes weekly. Typically four days and consistently on Sundays.”
“And you work at the center. Two jobs. Must be tough.”
You can’t imagine.
“I’m used to it. It must be tough to travel and not spend nights in your own bed.” I flipped the conversation back in his direction.
“Similar to you, I’m used to it. But I will say, it feels great to be home. What doesn’t feel great is seeing how much my grandfather has declined.”
“It’s hard to take in, especially if you haven’t seen him in a while.”
“He was my rock, the guy I admired the most, more so than my father. So to see him acting so differently is getting to me.”
“I know you want to see him as much as possible while you’re here, but if it starts to negatively affect you, take a break. I don’t mean to sound callous, but after you leave, he’ll have no recollection you were there. At this point, you’re bringing him happiness during your visits. I see him almost every day. He has his ups and downs. Most afternoons, he gets irritable. I should have given you a heads-up about it before your visit today. Early visits are best. Knowing we had plans later in the day, it must have slipped my mind. My bad.”
“It’s fine. I’m curious. What made you go into this particular profession? It seems emotionally draining, and to be honest, downright depressing.”
If he only knew how depressing it could be.
“There are days I want to quit, but what keeps me going is knowing I’m making a difference, even if it’s miniscule.”
“I respect that. It takes a special kind of person to do what you do.”
Fortunately, he let the question go as to why I chose to get into the profession. I rerouted our conversation again. “So after this break, when do you think you’ll be back for another visit?”
Why did I ask that question? I was supposed to be protecting my heart by not showing interest.
“In about two months. That’s generally how my schedule goes these days. I work straight through then get mini-breaks.”
“Talk about exhaustion. That sounds gruesome.”
“Not when you love what you do.”
“You haven’t told me what it is you do yet.”
Drumroll, please…
His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “I’m in the entertainment business.”
That’s all he’s giving me?
“That’s a rather broad statement.”
“If you don’t mind, I’m on vacation and would rather not discuss business.”
He didn’t say the words rudely.
Why wouldn’t he tell me? I would imagine most men would be screaming about being a celebrity from the rooftops. Such an easy opener to get a woman in bed. It worked for his friend Nick with Isabella and Dena. Yet Ryan remained mum.
“No problem.”
“We’re here.” He parked the car. “Sit tight a sec. I’ll come around.”
He walked around to open my door and assisted me out of the car. If he kept up these gentlemanly manners, I would totally fall for him, if I hadn’t already.
“Thank you.”
He nodded in response.
“I’m going to warn you now that I am a master at miniature golf,” he advised as we approached the cashier.
“Is that why you brought me? To show off your skills?”
“I have a lot of skills.” He raised his brows flirtatiously. “This is just one of them.”
My cheeks flushed. “I’m sure you do. Let’s stick to mini golf for now, shall we?”
He chuckled and paid the fee for us to enter the park.
With our clubs
and balls, we strolled to the first tee.
“Ladies first.” He gestured for me to place my ball on one of the three holes. My mission was to get my purple ball around a rock, zigzag through a maze, then go through a small tunnel to get to the hole. Easy peasy. Not.
Which angle is best to hit the ball?
I tried to play out a few different scenarios in my mind.
Ryan stepped over to me. “Need some help?”
“I’m trying to figure out whether to hit the ball from the center or from the right.”
“For this hole, I’d hit it from the right.”
I rubbed my chin, contemplating his suggestion. “The right?”
His amusement at my expense made me feel slightly self-conscious.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re adorable.”
My flushed cheeks heated up even more. I so hoped he wasn’t playing me.
“It’s not the major leagues, Lizzie. Just swing. Have fun.”
“But you told me you’re a master.”
Again he raised his brows. “In a multitude of areas.”
Holy cow.
“You’re blushing.”
I smacked his chest playfully. Wow. It was so strong. Melted heart, meet the fake grass.
“Stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
“No need to feel embarrassed. Have to say, I’m glad I have that effect on you, though.”
The guy probably had the same effect on every woman he came in contact with.
“I’m on to you now.” I pointed at him. “Your tactic is to try and distract me.”
“That would make us on an even playing field. Wouldn’t it?”
His comment confused me. “How so?”
“You’re totally distracting me.”
Ah. Got it.
Guard, whatever you do, remain up!
“Are you always this smooth?”
“Depends. Some women like it rough.”
“Oh my God. Where is the Ryan I met at the center?”
He chuckled. “He’s here too. I’ll let him play instead. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I’m trying to figure things out is all.”
“What kind of things?”
Why not be honest? “Whether you’re playing me right now.”
He shook his head, and his toothy grin disappeared, transforming into a frown instead. “I’m not playing you. I’m telling you how it is.”