by Starr, Faith
Why hadn’t I thought of that? Could it be because I hadn’t been thinking straight since my grandfather passed?
“Okay. Thanks. See you around.”
“I hope so.” She raised her brows and made a seductive movement with her leg, which caught my eye. Her shorts or exercise gear, whatever the fuck they were, were so tight they revealed her camel toe. Sure, she had nice legs, but seeing the package in front of me did nada. Zip. All I cared about was Lizzie. Why had she quit her job and moved out of the house? Perhaps one of the roommates had found out where she was working and snitched on her. I remembered her telling me nobody knew. I did. Hope she didn’t think I would ever betray her trust.
You already have.
With a backward wave, I trotted to my car. Instead of texting Lizzie, I called her.
“We’re sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again.”
Her phone number had changed too? What the fuck was going on? It hadn’t been that long since I had spoken to her.
My only other option was to visit the center the following day, which I had no desire to do because it reminded me of my grandfather.
The guys and I met back at the studio. My stomach grumbled from hunger. In my rushing around town, I had forgotten to grab a bite to eat. Hopefully someone would have a protein bar or something to hold me over until we finished.
Mason took me aside before we started up again. “How did it go?”
“It didn’t. One of her roommates said she moved out. I tried calling her, and her number’s been disconnected.”
Mason flashed me a questioning glance.
“It’s crazy, man. I’m going to head to the center tomorrow and pray she shows up for work.”
“Damn.”
“Damn is right. I should’ve followed up with her. I’m such an ass.”
“Sorry, bro. Hopefully, you’ll catch up with her tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
I continued to pray throughout the rest of our practice session and well into my sleepless night that Lizzie would be at the center for her shift the following day.
The young girl at the check-in desk at the center eyed me inquisitively. The last thing I wanted was to play nice with a fan.
The stale smell of the place brought back vivid memories of my visits with my grandfather. It wasn’t easy to be standing there. Quite frankly, seeing the chair I had sat in while waiting for Lizzie to clean up before our date, an old guy with a walker shuffling his feet, and a woman being pushed in her wheelchair by an aide had me breathing hard. This was the last place on earth I wanted to be. But for Lizzie, I would do it. I had to straighten things out with her.
“I heard about your grandfather. I’m sorry for your loss. Are you here to visit one of the other residents?”
Wasn’t she a ray of sunshine? Far from it, Ms. Robotic with a straight face and no sincerity in her voice whatsoever.
“Uh, no. I’m actually here to see Lizzie. Is she here?”
“Not today.”
“I thought she worked Monday through Friday?”
“So did I.”
“Is the director around? I’d like to speak with her, if possible.”
“Let me check.” She rose from her chair and went to the offices located behind her desk. She returned and sat back in her seat. “Maria will be right with you. You look familiar to me. I couldn’t place it at first, especially since you sign in as Ryan Allen, but I just have to ask. Aren’t you Ryan Josephs from On the Fence?”
“Yes.” That was all she would get from me on the topic.
“Wow. This is so cool. I’m a big fan.”
Imagine that.
Her blah attitude transformed into pure bliss.
“Great.”
“Yeah… So, are you dating Lizzie? Or shall I say, were you dating Lizzie? Who knows what to believe with all those tabloid stories online.”
“I don’t discuss my personal life.”
“Sorry.” Her blahs returned. “You’re more than welcome to have a seat and wait for Maria.” She gestured to the same chair I had eyed a minute ago.
I got as comfortable as I could in it and played on my phone to kill time.
“Mr. Allen?”
I hadn’t seen the director’s approach.
“That’s me.”
“You asked to see me?”
Did she think I would speak in front of an audience?
“Can we go somewhere more private?”
“Of course. Why don’t you step into my office?”
She jiggled the keys in her suit pocket, her forehead puckered, and she drew her lips in a tight line.
The woman was definitely anxious. I knew the signs to watch for. She probably thought I was there to threaten her with a lawsuit or something.
We went inside her office, where she offered me a seat across from her.
“First and foremost, I’m terribly sorry about your grandfather. Morris was adored by the entire staff.” It was probably the spoon-fed line she gave every family member who lost someone in this place. “So what is it that I can do for you today?”
I had been right. She couldn’t give two shits about my family’s loss. All she cared about was possible negligence on the center’s part.
“I wanted to see if you had a new contact number for Lizzie. The number I have has been disconnected.”
“Lizzie, who entertains the residents?”
Which Lizzie did she think I was referring to?
Cool it.
I bit back my frustration.
“Yes, that Lizzie.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not at liberty to give out personal information about any of our staff members.”
“Could you break the rules just this once?”
“If I had a penny for every time I’ve been asked that question, I’d be a rich woman by now.”
This wouldn’t be as easy as I’d thought.
“She’s usually working, but the girl up front told me she’s not here today.”
The muscles in the director’s face tightened. It was my first clue that something was wrong.
“She was right in what she told you.”
“Lizzie still works here, right?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Allen. I really can’t discuss Lizzie’s employment with you.”
Perhaps schmoozing would work in my favor, as in, play the celebrity card.
“Here’s the deal: My real last name is Josephs, not Allen, like my grandfather’s. I didn’t inform the center to protect my privacy. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but I’m in a famous band. We leave next week to go back on tour. I can’t get in touch with Lizzie by phone, and she’s moved out of her house. I thought I’d find her here today, but she’s out. I wanted to personally thank her for being so kind to my grandfather. She does such an excellent job with the residents.”
She softened in her chair and gave me a toothy smile.
Don’t relax so fast, sweetheart.
I was far from done with her.
“That she does. It will be a shame to lose her.”
There it was!
“What do you mean it will be a shame to lose her? Where is she going?”
“Oh, my. Please excuse me. I spoke out of turn.”
“Well, now that it’s out there, I’m asking you to please help me.”
“How about this? I’ll help you if you help me.”
Flipping the coin my way. This I had to hear.
“And how exactly do you want me to help you?”
“By writing a review about our center. A celebrity endorsement carries a lot of weight.”
“Consider it done.” It’s not like I had agreed to give the place five stars.
“Wait.” She put out her hand. “There’s one more thing.”
My patience was wearing thin. “What is it?”
“I am aware that you’re in a band. It’
s all my daughter talks about. When she heard you’d been visiting the center, she begged and pleaded for me to introduce you to her. I denied her requests and remained professional, never revealing your true identity to any of the staff members. But now, being we both have something the other one wants, would it be possible to get tickets and a possible meet and greet for her?”
What a sac of balls this woman had on her!
Refraining the impulse I had to chew her out for the nerve she had, I instead cordially agreed.
“Our first show will be in Tampa. I’ll give you three tickets and a meet and greet. Now please tell me what’s going on with Lizzie.”
“This doesn’t leave this room. Got it?”
“You have my word.”
“In the business you’re in, I doubt that carries much weight.”
Fucking bitch was pressing her luck.
“I guess you’ll have to see for yourself then, won’t you?”
“Very well. Lizzie isn’t here because she’s making arrangements to move her grandmother.”
And?
“Okay. But you also said it’s going to be a shame to lose her. I’m more interested in that.”
“Did you know Lizzie’s grandmother is a resident here at the center?”
Say what?
“I had no clue.”
Why wouldn’t Lizzie tell me something so important, especially when she knew my grandfather resided in the same place? Having a family member with Alzheimer’s was nothing to be ashamed of.
“Lizzie is removing her from the center so she can care for her herself instead.”
“Why would she do something like that if her grandmother is getting proper care here? Unless she’s not—”
Her upper torso shot up rod straight. “Her grandmother receives excellent care at the center. All of our residents do,” she huffed.
I was on the fence—no pun intended—on that one.
“Then why the move?”
“I can’t and won’t get into specifics about that with you.”
“Can you tell me if it has anything to do with the cost of keeping her grandmother here?”
“That’s all I’m giving you on the subject.”
We’ll see.
“So what I hear you saying is Lizzie is pulling her grandmother out of here to become her caretaker because of the expense?”
“I’m not sure what her plans are. All I know is she’s moving her grandmother out at the end of the month, which is about a week away.”
“If the monthly charges were paid for, would her grandmother be able to stay?”
“Yes. But unfortunately, in Lizzie’s case, that’s not going to happen. I’m sorry, but as I said, that’s all I can discuss with you. I’ve said too much as it is. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?”
“Actually, there is. I’d like to make the payments for Lizzie’s grandmother.”
If at all even possible, she sat up taller. “Excuse me?”
It was the least I could do since I had obviously turned Lizzie’s life to shit. Here I worked so hard to keep my life private and in the one instance where I tried to live a “normal” life, the media had to get involved and fuck everything up for me. Lizzie was clearly suffering because of it.
“I’ll take care of the monthly charges. All I ask is that you forward me the bills.”
“Are you sure about this? The monthly expenses are quite high.”
“Thank God, so is my salary. Now please draw up the paperwork so I can take care of this before I hit the road again.”
“Exactly how long do you plan on making these payments?”
“For however long Lizzie needs me to.”
“Wow.” She settled in her chair, her posture softening. “That’s very generous of you. I respect your altruistic nature.”
Yeah. Yeah.
“Give me a few minutes to get everything together.”
“I’ll wait.”
“Before anything is signed, I have to inform Lizzie about the offer. I’m not sure what her plans or intentions are for her grandmother, but I have to make sure she’s okay with this arrangement before I fully agree to it.”
“Why don’t you call her right now?” A phone call would get me one step closer to Lizzie.
The director dialed Lizzie’s number straightaway. I wondered which resident Lizzie’s grandmother was. It seemed we had started to open up to each other yet still had many secrets between us.
“Hi, Lizzie, it’s Maria.” The woman stared at me during her conversation with Lizzie. “Ryan Josephs is sitting in my office. He has offered to make the payments for your grandmother’s care. Before moving forward, I wanted to get your permission first.”
Lizzie must have been letting Maria have it because the woman remained silent with wide eyes while staring at me. She kept uttering, “Uh-huh.”
“I will let you speak to him.” She handed me the phone.
Take a deep breath.
“Hey.” I didn’t know what else to say and had the director’s eyes still glued to me.
“Ryan.” Hearing her voice knocked the wind out of me. She sounded miserable. “What are you doing?”
“Trying to make things right.”
“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”
“It’s never too late. Where are you? I need to see you.”
“And what makes you think I want to see you?”
“All I’m asking is for you to hear me out.”
“Wish you would have asked sooner.”
“Come on, Lizzie. I’m going back on tour soon.”
“Fine.” She sighed. “I’m staying at Carly’s. You can stop by.”
“I need an address. Your phone has been disconnected.”
“With all the media attention I was getting, I had to change my number.”
Fuck!
“Please give it to me. I’ll text you, and you can reply with an address. And about your grandmother—”
“Don’t go there. I won’t let you pay for her care. It’s too expensive, and it’s not your problem.”
“Can you make the payments?”
Silence.
“Exactly. Let me do this for you.”
“It’s too much. I appreciate the thought, but I can’t accept the offer. It costs five-thousand dollars for the residents to stay there, and that’s per month.”
“And?”
“Ryan…”
“It’s settled. Maria, please draw up the papers.”
Of course, Maria beamed at my request. Why wouldn’t she? She’d continue to get funds for a resident plus a celebrity endorsement for her center.
Lizzie breathed heavily into the phone. “I’m sorry again about your grandfather.”
My gut clenched. “Yeah, me too. And I’m sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I don’t want to get into it now. Can I please have your number?” She recited the digits to me. I updated her contact info. “Great. I’ve got it. Send me the address after you receive my text. I’ll be there as soon as I finish here.”
“Please, Ryan. I can’t let you do this.”
“See you soon.” I disconnected the call and sent her a text.
My phone dinged with the address.
“Lizzie must have really impressed you.” She made a humming sound. “Please make sure to write about all the wonderful stimulation we provide our residents in your review. It’s a great feature we offer.”
“Being that wonderful stimulation is provided by Lizzie, maybe she deserves a promotion.”
The director’s eyes bulged. “Excuse me?”
“A promotion. You know, it’s when someone does well at their job and gets a bonus or pay raise.”
“We’ve definitely stepped into an area I won’t discuss with you. Let me finish up with these papers so you can sign them and be on your way. I’ll also need your bank information, the account you want the monies drafted out of every month. Or, you can mail a check. It’s your choice how yo
u want to make the payments.”
“I’ll have a check mailed or have the money directly deposited.” My bank information was for my and my accountant’s eyes only.
“That will be fine.”
My feet tapped on the carpet. I wanted out of this place for two reasons: first, being in the center exacerbated my sadness about my grandpa. Second, I had to clear the air with Lizzie.
Maria placed stick-it flags on the paperwork she wanted me to sign at a la dee da pace.
Let’s go, lady! Get a move on it.
28
Lizzie
What was Ryan thinking? I couldn’t let him pay for my grandmother’s room at the center. That would make me indebted to him forever. He didn’t want to hear any part of my rationale either, so I’d have to wait until his visit so I could speak with him in person.
It had been such a long day. It felt as if my life had been turned upside down. In a sense, it had. Hearing Ryan’s voice killed me. He obviously didn’t have the same feelings for me that I had for him, which made this all hurt worse.
I’d have to keep my guard up when he arrived and not let him see how he had gotten under my skin and clawed his way into my heart so quickly. He hadn’t even left yet, and I missed him like mad. This would probably be his last visit before he left. Just thinking about it made me sad. I didn’t have time to dwell on it or sit in the pity pot, though, because he would be here soon.
I jumped in the shower then threw on leggings and a T-shirt.
While waiting for Ryan, I twirled the crap out of my ponytail, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to Alphaville. Because that wouldn’t increase my blues.
A knock came at the door.
This is it.
Breathe.
I can do this.
There he stood in the doorway, leaving me desperate for air. He had on jeans and a snug fitting T-shirt. It was blue and brought out the color in his eyes. Eyes that swept me off my feet, yet they didn’t have their usual sparkle to them. Sorrow, regret, perhaps, filled them instead.
Here the man was mourning the loss of his grandfather, and in the midst of all that, he was trying to make things right with me. As much as I wanted to close the door on my heart to him and slam the door in his face, I couldn’t because the kindness in his matched the goodness in mine.