by Kat Mizera
I got down to the ballroom just as guests began to arrive and I started to relax for the first time all day. Being away from the kids, the studio, and even my parents for a few hours actually helped my state of mind and I inhaled deeply as I took in the beautiful surroundings. Everyone was dressed to the nines, the decorations were on point, and something smelled wonderful—was it the prime rib that was about to be served?
“Casey!” Tricia reached for my hand. “Honey, you look ravishing—but why are your hands shaking?”
“It’s been a very long day,” I murmured. “I desperately need a drink.”
“Coming right up,” my father-in-law, Nicky, said gallantly, moving towards the bar with Tricia and me in tow.
“Hey, babe.” Nick appeared on my right and placed a kiss on my cheek.
“Hey.” I took Nick’s arm.
“Did Sasha settle down about the dress?”
“Nope.”
“She’s nine,” Nick chuckled. “If she looks ridiculous, it’ll be her own fault and she probably won’t even notice.”
I smiled gratefully. “Do I look okay? My hands were shaking so badly I could barely put on my makeup.”
“Babe, why didn’t you ask for help?”
“Everyone was gone.” I shrugged. “It’s okay—really. I just didn’t want to let anyone down tonight.”
“You haven’t.” He squeezed my hand and soon I had a glass of champagne to calm my nerves.
“I’m better,” I said fifteen minutes later. “A couple more glasses and I’ll forget all about this stressful week.”
“You’re handling it like a champ.”
“I’m trying.”
“It’s almost eight-thirty,” he said, absently glancing at his watch. “I’m going to go make sure everything is set for the princess. Security is hellacious.”
“Go on,” I smiled. “I’m going to mingle.”
I spotted Jade and squinted slightly as I realized Nick’s cousin, Michael Kingsley, had his arm around her. When had that happened? I needed to talk to her sooner rather than later, so I approached them with a grin.
“Hey, you two.”
“Hey.” Jade gave me a big smile, her eyes dancing with mischief since she undoubtedly knew I was going to kill her for keeping a secret like this from me.
“You look lovely tonight, Casey.” Michael leaned over to hug me.
“Thanks. You guys look great too.”
“What’s happening?” Jade asked. “Is it dinnertime yet?”
“Well, they’re about to announce Skye as the belle of the ball. Her dress is amazing—wait until you see it.”
The music stopped then and the announcer called for everyone’s attention. In the center of the room, a spotlight shone on a white gazebo where Ben was waiting for his daughter. She would come up the steps from behind and then they would descend down the front together. Sure enough, her appearance sparked a rousing round of applause from the full room. I felt the tiniest twinge of jealousy, but Jade’s hand on my arm kept me grounded.
“She’s beautiful,” she whispered. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not.”
I looked up, ready to tell her my suspicions about Skye and Nick, but suddenly Nick was there. “Hey, guys!” he said, shaking his cousin’s hand. “Listen, the head waiter said something happened in the kitchen. Can you please go see what the hell is going on? Jade, maybe you could lend a hand? I just don’t feel comfortable leaving the room…”
“Don’t worry.” I touched his arm. “We’ll handle it. Go.”
“Thanks.” He brushed his lips across mine and then was striding across the room to where he needed to be.
By the time we’d handled the clash of tempers between the sous chef and the salad chef, the first dance had begun. As we slipped back into the ballroom, I caught my first glimpse of Skye in Nick’s arms. For a moment, I thought I was imagining things, but as soon as Nick was facing her, I knew he was in love with the woman in arms. I didn’t know how or when this had happened, but the reality was like a splash of cold water that made me take a physical step back.
“Oh wow.” Jade’s eyes were huge and round.
“Do you see it?” I asked, turning to her.
“Kinda?” She looked at me worriedly.
“You saw the way he looked at her just now, right? Did I imagine it? He’s in love with her. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“She’s beautiful and this is a magical moment,” Jade evaded. “Casey, you can’t do this to yourself. You said it yourself, you and Nick don’t play games.”
“No, but he got roped into marrying me when he obviously had feelings for someone else.” I shook my head to try and clear it and then took a breath.
“There were extenuating circumstances.”
“A baby isn’t a good enough reason to ruin someone else’s life.” Jade didn’t know that Luke was Erik’s baby, so it was hard to explain to her the depth of my confusion about this.
“Nick loves you. He may not be in love with you, but he loves you and you know it.”
“But he is in love with her.” I stared at where they were still dancing and took a breath. It was time for me to take back my life. As much as I missed Erik, I couldn’t use Nick as the crutch that got me past the loss. I had to do that on my own, and I would, as soon as I got a few things straightened out.
The song was coming to an end and Nick and Skye looked about as ready to pull apart as Siamese twins. Nick bowed gallantly, though, and stepped back after kissing her hand. The crowd roared then, and the announcer came on, talking about the cancer and children’s charities the money was being donated to. I gave Jade a wink and then made my way to the head table, where my in-laws were sitting with the extended Kingsley family. I sank down and immediately felt Nick’s hand on my neck.
“Hey.” I looked up, staring intently into his eyes. “You guys danced really well together.”
“Thanks.” He sat beside me. “I’m starving, though. When is dinner being served?”
“Half an hour, but there’s bread on the table,” I offered. “You want me to get you something from the kitchen? There are hors d’oeuvres.”
“No, I’ll live.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He squeezed my hand. “Well, I’m gonna go see how the donations are coming and check the princess’s dance card. We don’t want to overwhelm her.”
“Of course not.” I watched him go and felt a twinge of regret. He was acting perfectly normal, but I knew what I’d seen on the dance floor. Later, I would think about it more. Skye was the last person in the world I imagined Nick falling in love with, but it appeared that was exactly what was happening. I’d known it the minute he’d laid eyes on her in her gold dress. It just hadn’t completely registered until now and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
All through dinner, I kept up animated conversation, finding it easy to share in Alexa’s joy about the success of her dresses. Everyone had been talking about them all night. It was barely ten o’clock and she already had a dozen appointments to meet with rich, successful women who wanted her to design dresses for them. It wasn’t that Alexa was that much better than every other designer, but that her dresses catered specifically to each person’s personality. Tricia had been telling everyone about her fabulous new designer, and accordingly, Alexa was the secondary hit of the ball.
Obviously, everyone was also talking about the Princess of Limaj. This was not the stuffy, snobbish princess the press had once talked about incessantly. Instead, she was friendly and alive, though still properly demure, and absolutely stunning. Why, everyone asked, had no one ever dressed her so beautifully before? She had enough money, after all… The talk went on and on, and I did my best not to comment on it. I knew the real reason Skye was different; up until Omar had shown his true colors, she’d thought she was better than everyone in our circles. It appeared that falling in love had changed her for the better as well.
Nick seemed no different than usual, and the chat
ter around us went on as Sasha arrived in a gold lamé tunic I sometimes wore on stage—where she’d dug it up, I had no idea. On her, it fit like a dress that she had belted at the waist with something I didn’t recognize, which probably meant it was either Tricia’s or my mother’s. Her hair was pulled back in a French braid and she wore gold ballet slippers that I’d never seen before either, but I chose not to mention it. Actually, Sasha looked adorable, and Nick was quick to dance with her. Then she danced with Sandor and Nicky, before sitting down for dessert with the rest of us.
I hadn’t yet danced tonight and when Nick held out his hand, I hesitated. I was still thinking about him and Skye, but turning him down here in front of everyone would have been childish. Besides, he was a great dancer and I enjoyed his company, regardless of this new development.
I closed my eyes, determined to enjoy a rare moment of intimacy without thinking about the rest of the situation. Nothing would be decided tonight, and later, when the ball was over and everything was somewhat back to normal, I would have time to talk to Nick and figure out what was going on. Then I would come up with a plan.
After the dance, I went upstairs to make sure Sasha had gone to bed. I dragged my feet going back to the ball because I was tired. It was going to be a long night still, but I felt like it had been going on for days already. How was it possible that it wasn’t even midnight yet? For the first time in a long time I was craving a cigarette and wondered if Jade had any on her. Maybe a few drags while I sat out on the balcony and got some fresh air would ease the discomfort in my head. I’d had enough music and food and noise; I just wanted a few minutes to myself.
Out of habit, I snuck out through the kitchen and wound up bumming a cigarette off one of the staff. Then I found my way outside and sat on a lounge chair overlooking the city. I loved this city; something about it made me feel alive. Even in the midst of all the drama in my life, I’d never considered leaving Las Vegas permanently. Being born here was obviously important to me and I’d hoped Erik would one day share that bond with me. Instead, it was just me, stumbling my way through a life I was no longer enjoying.
I laid my head back and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the music coming from inside. Suddenly there was noise from the other side of the balcony and I sat up, startled.
“Skye, wait!” It was Nick’s voice and I immediately jumped up, looking around for some place to hide. I slipped behind a huge potted plant partially hidden by the edge of an embankment.
“I just need a few minutes alone,” Skye spoke breathlessly. “It’s been a very long night.”
“I need to clarify what I said when we were dancing.” Nick reached for her, pulling her against him.
“Nick, this isn’t right…”
“Just listen to me.” He looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. “What’s been happening between us the last couple of months isn’t either of our imaginations—I’ve never met a woman quite like you before. You’re everything I never knew I wanted, but I can’t just…” His voice trailed off.
“I know you can’t,” she said, looking up into his face. “I wouldn’t even suggest it. Casey is my friend, the sister I was supposed to have, and it would be terrible to even think about carrying on with her husband.”
“I just need you to know that I’m not playing games with you,” he said in a jagged breath. “On the dance floor, I almost kissed you—it was like we were the only two people on earth right then.”
“We’re possibly the only two people on earth right now.” She spoke so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
I did, however, see their kiss clearly. Nick lowered his face to hers and then kissed her with the kind of passion I hadn’t felt myself in over a year. Abruptly, he pulled away and held her face between his hands. “Listen to me,” he said gently. “I know it was selfish of me to do that, but—”
“I invited it,” Skye interrupted. “I’ve been dreaming of what it would be like to kiss someone other than Omar, and I wanted it to be you. Now you’ve fulfilled my fantasy.”
“I made a promise to your brother, that I would be a faithful husband and father and take care of Casey and the baby. I don’t take that vow lightly, and when I made it, I had no idea there was someone like you out there for me. I need you to know that no matter what I feel for you, I can’t leave her. Not after everything that’s happened. She loved him more than either of us can possibly understand and I’ve watched his death eat away at her. If it hadn’t been for Luke, I don’t know what she would have done.”
“I know that.”
“But I also need you to know that in different circumstances, I would move heaven and earth to be with you.”
“I know that too.” She leaned up and lightly kissed his lips once more. “You don’t need to explain. Every moment we’ve spent together the past few weeks—tonight—has been stolen, and I never expected anything.”
“I have to go back inside,” he whispered.
“Go on, I’ll be right behind you.” She smiled.
He squeezed her hand and then walked back inside. She waited a long moment, touched her finger to her lips, and then slowly moved after him.
I didn’t breathe for a full minute after they left. Then I slipped out from my hiding place and hurried in the opposite direction. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling but I needed space and time to think. Nick had fallen in love. I’d known it would happen eventually, but I hadn’t expected it to be so soon and I definitely would never have predicted that it would be with Skye. However, it was now a reality, and I was going to have to do something about it. The problem was what. Nick would be stubborn about a divorce, and the holidays were right around the corner. There were also the children to consider. I had a lot of thinking to do and no time to do it. I really needed a vacation.
17
Casey
Divorce, I thought numbly, was a complicated thing. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, least of all myself, but I had to handle this delicately. I’d waited until the holidays were over and Sasha was back in school to approach Nick. He was blissfully unaware of my plans, of that I was fairly certain, but while my intention wasn’t to blindside him, there was no way to lead into it gently. I just had to do it. So I’d contacted a lawyer and put everything in motion. There were custody options for Luke, adoption options for Sasha, and visitation for both kids, as well as none, should he want a complete pass, though I doubted that. He would be pissed, I knew this, but it was time for both of us to take back our lives.
He needed to be with Skye, or maybe even someone else if that wasn’t as serious as I thought it was, and I needed my freedom. Not that he held me back from anything I wanted to do, but I couldn’t be married to anyone right now. I was too raw, still missing Erik and clawing my way out of the darkness. The light was there, just off in the distance, but I needed to be able to reach for it without worrying about anyone other than my children. They were the only thing keeping me grounded right now.
“Casey!” Nick’s voice brought me back to the present and I looked up from the suitcase I was packing.
“Hey.” I turned to him, giving him a quirky smile.
“Jesus, what’s going on? What are you doing? You can’t be serious about this divorce thing?”
I held out my hand and he took it without hesitation. “Listen to me. You are, and always will be, my best friend. We’ve done it all together. Professional, personal, sexual, emotional… You got me through the last fourteen months in a way no one else could have. You’re my friend, my rock, my son’s father. But it’s time for you to find your forever. It’s not with me. It never was. I appreciate everything you’ve done, but it’s time for us to move on.”
“Why?” he demanded, pulling me up against him. “I’m happy. What we have is good. We don’t have to—”
“Stop.” I put a gentle finger on his lips. “I saw you and Skye on the patio during the ball. I heard what you said. I watched you kiss her. I cannot—will not—keep you from being with her
.”
“Oh, shit, Casey. I never meant for you to see that. I just…”
“You just fell in love with her. Right?” I watched his face carefully because he could never lie to me.
He didn’t say anything at first but then he nodded, ever so slightly. “But she knows. She understands that I’m not available, that I promised Erik—”
“Erik is gone and we’re still here. You promised to take care of me and you have. I’m on the mend. My child is happy and healthy and everyone believes he’s yours. That was the goal. Now it’s time for you to be with someone who feels for you the way you feel about her. And for me to move on to the next phase of my life.”
“But…” He looked lost. “Casey, we can’t just call it quits. What will people say?”
I shrugged. “Who cares? You knocked me up so we had to get married. Oh, look, it didn’t work out. Oh, typical rich kids these days, they don’t know how to work through problems. Tsk tsk.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, but what about the kids? I’m not just a father to your son. We also have a sad little girl who just lost her mom.”
“I had no idea Pam made me Sasha’s guardian, so that wasn’t something you signed up for. If you’re willing to take on yet another child that isn’t yours, I’d love that, but I can parent her on my own. I’ve got this.”
He eyed me. “You’ve been an emotional mess. You lost Erik, your dad has cancer, you had a baby, and then another baby essentially got thrown in your lap. You’re going to school, helping your dad run the studio, helping your mom with everything to do with your dad’s illness, and even helping a little at the hotel. Your plate is super full and I don’t believe you’re ready to handle it all on your own.”
“I have plenty of backup. You, my parents, Sandor, my friends… It’s time for me to pull myself up and get back on the damn horse.”