by D. Kelly
“Really?”
“Really. Maybe we felt the Triton in you from the get-go. This tour wouldn’t be the same without you. You’re part of us now. That’s why Warren outed your birthday. All birthdays are celebrated in some way on our buses.”
Noah steps out of his room, and that’s my cue to go to mine for a bit. Space between us all is important right now, and we’ll be together enough tonight.
“Thanks, Sawyer,” she says, catching sight of Noah and greeting him with a beaming smile.
“Anytime. I’ll see you later, I’ve got some calls to make.”
“You got me a cake?” Mel squeals as Mac sits it on the table.
“We did, but I wasn’t sure about the flavor. I figured I couldn’t go wrong with vanilla and strawberries,” Noah replies, and she kisses him sweetly.
“It doesn’t matter what flavor it is, it’s the thought that counts, and it’s cake. I mean, is there actually a bad flavor? As long as it has frosting, I’m in.”
Darren high-fives her as Wyatt pours another round of tequila shots. We’re all pretty fucking lit. We spent the past couple of hours eating pizza, drinking, and shooting the shit. It feels good to be hanging out without any stress. Even Noah and I have been getting along like nothing ever happened.
Warren begins to put candles on the cake, and Mel gasps. “No … no, no, no. We’re not celebrating my birthday, so no candles.”
“Take a look around, Princess. I think this entire day has been a birthday celebration for you. Besides, if there are no candles, you don’t get a song.”
Darren fist bumps me. “Exactly, and who wouldn’t want our four fine asses, plus Warren, Mac, and Ryan, to sing Happy Birthday to them?”
“Come on, Mel, Joey and Iris would never forgive me if I didn’t sing their little girl Happy Birthday,” Warren cajoles.
“Maybe you can even wish for some O’s since Noah still hasn’t given them up,” Wyatt teases, and she promptly turns scarlet.
“Oh, he’s given me the O’s all right, he just hasn’t given up the D yet.”
Holy shit, I’m not sure if we’re laughing because Noah is practically purple he’s so embarrassed or because Mel is shitfaced and has completely lost her inhibitions.
Noah pulls her to him. “Anticipation.”
His husky tone has her biting her lip and her eyes fluttering closed as she nods in agreement. She looks so fucking hot in this moment. I seriously don’t know how Noah does it. If she were mine, I’d be sexing her up every chance I got. Life is too damn short to miss out on good fucking. Anticipation my ass.
While Noah has Mel in a lust-filled daze, he starts us off singing. By the time we finish, she couldn’t be smiling any wider if she tried.
“Thank you, that was beautiful.”
“Yeah, we’re not too bad when we try,” Wyatt teases.
Warren grabs some plates and forks and hands Mel a knife. “Ladies first.”
Mel cuts the cake like a pro, and when we all have a piece, Noah looks at it in frustration. “What the fuck?” he says, picking at the middle.
“Lemon?” Mel guesses as she bites into it.
“Oh, fuck no,” I say, spitting mine into a napkin. This shit is nasty. “It’s pineapple. Who the fuck puts pineapple in a cake?”
“What’s wrong with you? This is the bomb diggity. We have pineapple cake at my grandma’s all the time,” Darren says, scarfing his piece down in record time and reaching for another.
“I’m sorry, Mel, this isn’t what I ordered,” Noah apologizes sincerely. I feel bad. He was so excited to do this for her, and it backfired on him.
“It’s no big deal. The great thing about cake is that it pops open. Just scrape out the inside and eat the rest. As long as there’s frosting, the rest is details.”
We all follow suit except for Darren. In turn, he takes his fork and scoops all the unwanted pineapple filling off our plates and heaps it on his piece. Nasty fucker.
“That’s wrong on so many levels.”
“Your loss, Sawyer,” he says with his mouth full.
Wyatt turns his attention to Darren. “Why haven’t you ever asked for a pineapple cake then?”
“Because banana is where it’s at, but pineapple is a good second.”
“Of course.” Noah laughs. “How could we forget his banana obsession?”
“Name one thing banana doesn’t taste good in!” he retorts, and we’re all at a loss for words. “Mmhm. See? Banana is the best.”
“It’s better in chocolate cake though. Banana in vanilla cake isn’t as good,” Mel points out thoughtfully.
“Truth. Tell your girl Belle that for me.”
Mel laughs. “I’m afraid Belle is an ice cream cake girl to the core, no matter how hard I try to convert her. She says it’s the best of both worlds.”
“Also true,” Darren muses. “But I still prefer them side by side and not together.”
I texted Belle earlier to let her know we were having a small celebration for Princess and she never texted back. I reach down into my pocket for my phone and realize I left it in my room. Darting in to grab it, I see the flashing light as soon as I walk in. After taking a seat on my bed, I check the messages.
Slammed Chick: She doesn’t like her birthday, tread carefully.
Slammed Chick: Did she kill you?
No, she didn’t kill me. Sorry, I forgot my phone in my room.
Her reply is immediate.
Slammed Chick: I talked to her earlier, so I don’t want to call again. How is it going?
Good except they filled her cake with pineapple instead of strawberries.
Slammed Chick: As long as it’s got frosting, she won’t care.
Haha! You know her well – that’s exactly what she said.
Slammed Chick: Did you guys get her presents?
Just tequila, pizza, and cake. Didn’t want to push it.
Slammed Chick: Good call. Be careful; drunk Mel can be pretty unfiltered.
So we’ve seen, but it’s not the first time. Remember Sully’s?
Slammed Chick: That’s right you’ve already met Mel the lush. Good. Who is keeping an eye on her in Vegas?
Vegas. I’ve been trying not to think about that trip since it falls on the anniversary.
That would be Noah. I’ll be otherwise engaged.
Drowning my memories in vats of alcohol and maybe some pussy.
Slammed Chick: K as long as someone is with her. Vegas is one of her favorite places.
I can only imagine. She seems like the kind of girl who would hit the tables and the strip clubs with you.
I’ll pass that info along to Noah, although I’m pretty sure he’s got plans for them already laid out.
Slammed Chick: The romantic type, huh?
The forever and ever type. She’ll be in good hands.
Slammed Chick: Are you?
In good hands?
Slammed Chick: No … the forever and ever type.
Are you asking as a reporter?
Slammed Chick: WTF? None of our texts are EVER me being a reporter. We’re building a friendship here. Can’t you tell we’re bonding?
Friends … are we friends? We text often enough, and she is Darren’s girl. It’s only a matter of time before he admits he loves her.
Honestly hadn’t thought about it that way, but I guess we are. The answer is maybe if I ever found the right woman. As of now, I’m more of the single forever and ever type.
Slammed Chick: I’ve always felt the same, but Darren makes me wonder things I never have before. Not saying he’s it for me by far but he’s not a bad start.
If anything he’s a good distraction?
Slammed Chick: Never. He’s a good person, and we have a lot of fun together, but I wouldn’t lower him to the title of distraction. When it all ends I hope we’ll come out of it friends. I’d miss him if not.
Friends … there’s that word again.
Slammed Chick: We have each other, and that’s enough.
Touchy subject?
They’re just like us. A couple of loners who keep outsiders out. No wonder we all seem to understand each other so well.
Slammed Chick: No … yes … maybe. We’ve been through a lot and the last person we had in our circle let us down. In a way, it’s why I’m good at my job. I value trust, and I do my best to earn it and guard it. That’s why your phone number and your secrets are safe with me.
Their loss, you’re cool people.
Slammed Chick: Tell that to Eli.
Interesting.
Eli Watts was the only person they let into their world. I knew Mel was broken up over what happened with them, but I didn’t realize how deeply embedded he was in her life.
Maybe someday I will by rubbing my new friends in his face.
“Sawyer! Picture time, come back!” Drunk Mel bellows from the other room, and I can’t help but laugh.
All right I gotta go. Guess it’s picture time, and before you even say it, someone will forward one to you.
Slammed Chick: See you know me so well already. Told you we were friends.
After reading her text, I change her name in my phone. If we’re friends, she deserves a bit more respect than what I was giving her.
Later Belle.
Belle: Talk soon, Sawyer.
Las Vegas
After Mel’s birthday, we had an incident. It was raw, borderline illegal, and it’s seared into my memory like a scarlet letter.
“Sorry, Princess, that took longer than I thought,” I said as I grabbed some water and took a seat.
“No problem. Were you stuck on a call?”
Jesus, what do I have to do to get her to stop being so fucking nice?
“No, I was watching porn and jerking off.”
Her eyes dropped to my hands as desire flared in her irises. I couldn’t help smirking. It wasn’t my intention to tell her what I’d done, even though it wasn’t porn but mental images of her riding my cock. In a way, I’m glad I told her; I feel more like myself when I’m not wasting time sugarcoating shit for people.
“Good for you. Feel better?” She was pissed, and it worked in my favor. If I could make her hate me, this ridiculous attraction I had with her would have to end.
“It helped to blow off some steam, but what I really need is a willing fuck. How about you, Princess? Want to help me out?” I couldn’t believe I actually said that to her.
“What the hell, Sawyer? What’s wrong with you?!”
“Oh, come on, why are you acting all high and mighty? It’s not as if you haven’t ridden the musician train before. And it’s not like my brother is giving you any. Let’s work out our frustrations together. I promise you’ll feel better.” Her anger pushed me forward. She’s even hotter when she’s fired up, and if the underlying chemistry between us hadn’t been sparking, if desire wasn’t simmering just under her surface, I would have backed off. Instead, I moved closer and put my hand on her thigh and soaked in the high of being that close to her.
“Are you on drugs again?” she demanded, practically breathing fire.
“No, I’m just an asshole who wants what he can’t have.”
Fear crept into her expression and, for a split second, I thought it was because she was afraid to want me. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
I pulled her close, wrapping my arm around her waist. “What do you think it means, Princess? It means I want to fuck you.” The instant the words were said, I knew I’d crossed a line I could never uncross.
Everything else happened in a split second. I quickly realized she wasn’t afraid of her feelings for me at all. Princess was afraid of me, and she reacted accordingly. Her open palm met my cheek with surprising force. Stunned, she pulled away and shook out her hand. As the burn from the well-deserved hit set in, I reached for my cheek. Mel watched as she continued backing away fearfully. I’d never seen her so angry, and I’d never felt so lost, defeated, and ashamed.
“You love him.” The words fell from my mouth unbidden, but they were the absolute truth between us, one I’d been too blind to fully consider.
“What? No.” She denied it, but her love for Noah shone in those gorgeous hazel eyes of hers.
“I was testing you, trying to gauge your feelings for him. I had to know if you could be swayed back to your old ways.” The lie fell from my lips naturally. She could easily see through me, but the goodness in her wavered. I could tell she wanted to believe me. If I were honorable, I’d warn her away from me before I cross another boundary. Unfortunately for her, I’d never been honorable.
“I like him, a lot. I’m not that girl anymore, Sawyer, and you testing me or whatever the fuck it was you just did is not part of my job description. You don’t get to talk to me like that, and if it ever happens again, I’m going straight to the label. Sexual harassment is real, Sawyer, and you are an asshole. We’re done for today.”
Once she stormed off and slammed the door behind her, I screamed a slew of profanities, and then I did something I hadn’t since the Marilyn debacle—I went to my room and cried.
This all happened two weeks ago, and my actions were completely unforgivable. I fell into a rabbit hole of one-sided affection, and it’s taking everything I am to crawl out of it. We haven’t spoken more than a couple of words when greeting one another. Our morning chats no longer exist, but it’s for the best. I’m surprised she hasn’t gone to Noah or the label. I basically sexually assaulted her and, at the very least, it was harassment. I still can’t shake the look of shock and devastation on her face. Each day I consider telling the label all of it. At this point, calling off the tour might be a blessing. It would keep Mel comfortable, keep me from doing anything else self-destructive and hurtful, and it would make Noah happy.
The worst part of all has been watching from the sidelines as she’s pushed Noah away the past two weeks. First, she played sick, then she blamed her cycle, but never once did she blame me. I want to know why.
“Hey, Sawyer, do you have a minute?” Noah pokes his head into my room and looks like a wounded puppy.
“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”
Stepping inside, he closes the door behind him. “We get into Vegas tomorrow, and I wanted to make this trip special for Mel. Finally, you know …”
I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the fact Noah is a grown man and still blushes when he talks about sex. “What’s the problem? You love her, I’m pretty sure she loves you, and money isn’t an issue, so what gives?”
“Haven’t you noticed how different she’s been since her birthday? She’s pulling away from me, and I don’t know why or how to fix it. Or if I even should. Maybe she’s second-guessing this whole thing.”
“Hey,” I say, putting my guitar to the side and throwing an arm over his shoulder, “talk to her. Better yet, surprise her with an epically romantic trip. We already know she doesn’t like her birthday, maybe this is normal, how she comes back from it.”
“True, but I feel like it’s more than that.”
If he only knew.
“I’m sure it’s not you. It’s bad timing. Between her birthday, being sick, and shark week, it’s no wonder she’s off. Be happy she’s not shy about things or you’d really have something to worry about.”
He nods. “Yeah, all of that is true.”
“Get her some flowers, ask her if she feels up to your plans, give her options. Women appreciate options, right?”
“I’m pretty sure most people do.”
“Belle says Mel loves Vegas. I’m sure you guys will have a blast.”
“When did you talk to Belle?” he asks, surprised.
“We text almost every day. I guess we’re becoming friends.”
Noah’s smile only makes me feel worse.
He wouldn’t be smiling if he knew what I did to his girl.
“That’s good, Sawyer. We need more friends, especially you. There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
“Shoot.”
“This weekend I was planning to spend time with Mel, but I can push it to Thanksgiving if you want me to. I know this is a rough weekend for you.”
This is why I do things for Noah; he always considers my feelings. “Absolutely not. I’ve already got alcohol and women in my future to ease the pain. Maybe a strip club or two. It’s handled. I’ll see J in a week. It’s all good, Noah.”
“If you change your mind …”
“I won’t. I’m not a kid anymore. It’s a rough day, but that’s all it is. Spending it with J is a comfort. A reminder that we made it, that he made it.”
His eyes soften as he leans back against the wall. “He only made it because of you.”
Laughing, I lean back next to him. “I’m pretty sure the EMTs and doctors had a lot more to do with it than I did.”
“Bullshit. You controlled the bleeding. You talked him through it. You found him in the first fucking place and stumbled through the carnage to get to him. Here we are, over twenty years later, and it still impacts you in more ways than you’re willing to admit. I know you can be alone, and it will just be a bad day, but you need to know I’m here. We’re all here, and you don’t ever have to do anything alone.”
His emphatic pleas hit me deep in the place where I’m already feeling vulnerable because of what an asshole I was to Mel. “Thanks, Noah.”
He jumps off the bed and pulls me with him. “Time to hug it out.”
Noah pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. At first I groan because that’s what brothers do, but within seconds I’m hugging him back.
“Let’s squash everything else, Sawyer. Nothing is more important to me than my relationship with you, and all this fighting and shit is for the birds. We’re fucking Westons, we’re better than this.”
“Deal. Love you, big brother.”