by D. Kelly
With wide eyes, he inches closer. “Says all those guys going into your apartment.”
“For someone who knew me so well, you don’t seem to know me at all. I may invite someone in, but that doesn’t mean I spread my legs and offer them an all-night pussy buffet. I have standards, Dec. Maybe you should get some of your own.”
He laughs and flashes me a brilliant smile. His dark-framed glasses give him this whole sexy geek vibe, making him even hotter. God, I hate him … almost as much as I used to love him. “You said pussy. You must be really pissed at me right now, you hate that word.” He continues laughing, and it annoys the hell out of me.
If we’re going to be here a while, I might as well get comfortable. Kneeling down, I dig through my groceries and pull out two bottles of water. I’d rather keep them to myself and let him suffer, but I don’t want to give him a reason to talk to me more than necessary. Then I find the chocolate chip cookies and open them up. These he doesn’t get.
“Water?” I ask as he sits down next to me.
“Sure, thanks.”
He waits for me to offer him a cookie and shakes his head when I don’t. “I’m good enough for water but not for cookies?”
“You said it, not me.”
“Come on, Holly, you know they’re my favorite.”
“Are they? I thought blondes with big boobs were your favorite?”
Bitter much? Yeah, I am. After we broke up, Declan seemed to develop a type—a very specific one: big-busted blondes with long legs and teeth too white to be natural. Considering I’ve got dark-auburn hair and green eyes, I’m not sure what he was even doing with me in the first place. I used to consider myself pretty until the one man I thought loved me more than anything started dating the complete opposite of me. I know I’m self-deprecating, and no man should tear down my self-confidence, but Dec isn’t just any man. Once upon a time, he was my world.
He bumps my shoulder with his, and his eyes reflect a rare sincerity that catches my attention. “You’ve always been my favorite, Holly. Chocolate chip cookies are a close second, and shapely blondes, while nice, are nothing in comparison.”
Groaning, I hand him the bag of cookies; he can have them all if it will shut him up. After he takes a bite, he moans appreciatively, reminding me of the sound he used to make when he was turned on. I wonder if he still sounds that way … Dammit! I hate him for making me think of those times while I’m stuck with him and have no escape.
“Holly, for real … are you ever going to forgive me? I miss you.”
As his words trail off, the regular lights kick back on and the sound of the elevator coming to life is music to my ears. The voices of the LAFD come through the intercom letting everyone know the building and elevators have been cleared. We both stand, and before I have a chance to grab my groceries, Declan scoops all three bags up and holds on to them.
“Why do you always have to try to be such a gentleman? I already know your true colors, Dec, you don’t need to impress me.”
The doors to the elevator slide open, and he follows me down the hall to my apartment. When I open the door, he takes the bags to the kitchen and hops up on my counter. He’s so annoying.
“When are you going to stop acting like you don’t care about me anymore? I made a mistake, I fucked up and misread a situation, but I still think it was for the best. I’ve grown, Holly, and so have you. I’m not trying to impress you, I’m being the same Declan I’ve always been.”
He jumps down and heads to the door. “I’m not giving up, Holls, and the sooner you realize that the better.”
When he closes the door behind him, I release a frustrated scream. Declan James is going to be the death of me.
“Go across the hall and ask Declan for some batteries,” Sage, my best friend, says as she laughs hysterically.
“Don’t be a bitch, Sage. I’m not in the mood. Besides, it’s his fault I’m horny in the first place.”
“Come on, Holly, you know Declan would give you a mercy fuck if he knew your vibrator was out of juice.” She’s still laughing.
“So now I need a mercy fuck?” I screech into the phone.
“Stop it. You know I didn’t mean it like that. You and Declan may be over but your sexual chemistry is still hotter than ever. Both of you should stop being stubborn and at least agree to be friends with benefits.”
The doorbell rings, and the thumping of packages hitting the ground echoes through the hall. My delivery guy sucks—he could at least wait for me to open the door. When I do, I glance quickly into the hall to be sure no one is around and bend down and pick up the boxes.
“Damn, I miss that ass.”
Declan. Who did I piss off to deserve the karmic retribution of seeing him twice in the same day?
“See!” Sage screeches into my ears. “Now, tell him your vibrator is out of juice and you need a fix.”
While Sage is screaming, Declan is trying to take my packages from me, his smirk more than proving he heard Sage through the Bluetooth in my ear.
“I’m going to have to call you back,” I say, effectively hanging up on her.
Declan is tugging on the boxes, so I let him carry them inside. The sooner he gets his way, the sooner he’ll go home to his revolving door of tramps.
Declan James is my kryptonite. He’s the asshole who used to be my best friend until he broke my heart. He’s also relentless. After the lease was up on our old place, he tracked me to my new building and discovered the terms of my lease. Don’t ask me how; he probably fucked the leasing agent, too. The next thing I knew, he was my new across-the-hall neighbor. Asshole.
“Where do you want them?” he asks, flashing me his dimpled smile.
Bastard.
“On the table would be great.”
After he sets them down, he takes a seat and looks up at me with his sex gaze. It only fuels my already super-charged hormones. This is going to be a long freaking day.
“You know, Holly, I’m much better equipped for your needs than a vibrator. Want me to help you out of your bind?”
“Not even if you were the last man on earth and my vagina would atrophy without you.”
His laugh makes me tingle all over. The laugh I fell in love with at fifteen, the one that used to make me smile. Until he broke up with me to be a manwhore. Now that laugh reminds me of all the reasons Declan James needs to stay out of my life.
“I did it for us, Holly. I know you’ll never believe it, but I swear we needed time apart so we could be better together.”
With a roll of my eyes, I pour myself a cup of tea. “Keep telling yourself that, Declan. In the meantime, get out of my apartment, okay?”
He steps behind me and pins me between him and the counter. Dropping his mouth to my ear, his husky voice washes over me like a million rays of sunshine. “I still love you, and I always will.”
My hands tremble against the counter, but I won’t let him suck me in. I’ve tried so hard to get over him. “You can love me from afar, Declan. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”
He caresses my arm as he backs away slowly. I hear the door open, followed by his words, “I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes.”
“Yeah, and what about all the other women? You’ve got a rotating succession of them at the snap of your fingers.”
“You’re the one who owns my heart. All you have to do is tell me to stop, Holly, and I will.”
I flip around to face him, nailing him with a steely gaze. “Are you saying you won’t have sex with anyone else if I tell you not to?”
“If there’s a chance for us to be together again, I won’t.”
“Prove it.” I’m pissed, finally letting my anger lead the discussion.
“Sure. Define sex and name the terms,” he says, shrugging casually with his hands in his pockets.
“Fondling, penetration, stroking, oral, and anal. Also, no dating, kissing, or flirting. O
ther women in general are completely off limits.”
Declan needs women and sex like he needs air; I can’t see him agreeing to my demands.
“Porn?” he replies with a smirk.
“No live webcam porn where you can interact with the people on camera.”
His mouth drops. “Do you think I do that?”
“Wouldn’t put it past you.”
“Do you do that?” he asks with a slow, decadent smile.
“Ew, Declan, don’t be so nasty.”
Laughing, his eyes light up. I hate the way he makes me feel inside when he does that. “You’re the one who brought it up, Holly. But okay, I’ll play. What do I get in return?”
This is where it gets tricky. Once I let him back into my life, I’ll never want to let him go. Even worse, I’m not even sure I want him back in the first place. “What would you want in return? Not saying I’ll give it to you, but hypothetically speaking.”
“You in my bed, every night for the rest of my life.”
“Not happening,” I retort, but he’s not fazed in the slightest.
“Didn’t think it would, but I had to aim high, right? How about your friendship, and at least one date a week, plus sex with each other when you need it?”
“When I need it?” I ask with a raised brow.
Leaning against the doorjamb, he crosses his feet in front of him. “If I asked for sex when I need it, we’ll never leave the apartment.”
His words make me blush.
“How long do we play this game?”
Stalking toward me like a man on a mission, Declan grabs my hand, placing it over his heart. “As long as it takes for you to realize you’re the only one who has ever owned my heart and you’re the only one who ever will.”
The frantic beating of his heart under my palm makes me want to fall in love with him all over again. The truth is, I miss him. I’ve never missed anyone the way I miss him and he only lives ten feet away.
“Holly, the two of us are meant to be. What will it hurt to try again?”
“You … I …” Releasing a frustrated sigh, I pull my hand away from his chest. I can’t think with Declan touching me. “If we try this and it doesn’t work out, you need to move. Those are my terms. When it ends …”
“It won’t,” he emphasizes.
“When it does—”
“If it does,” he corrects, moving further into my personal space.
“You’ll move and leave me alone. Losing you once nearly killed me, Dec, losing you twice would …”
“Holly,” he says, his lips hovering a breath above mine, “I’m not stupid enough to lose you twice in a lifetime.” His lips cover mine in a soft, quick kiss. When he pulls back, he smiles bigger than I’ve seen in ages and walks away.
“Tomorrow night, seven p.m., my place, for dinner, friendship, and our first grownup date,” he says before closing the door behind him.
I’m still standing in the middle of my living room, stunned, when there’s a knock at the door a few minutes later. Through the peephole I see Declan standing there holding another box. When I swing open the door, he passes the box to me. “We didn’t discuss my rules. You can’t date, either. The rules you set for me apply to you as well. Self-satisfaction is important, you should find something in here that will fit your vibrator. Unless you’ve changed your mind. I’m happy to take care of your intimate needs, Holls.”
Pulling a pack of AA batteries from his box, I hand it back. “I can take care of myself, Dec, I have been for a long time now. See you tomorrow.”
Keep Reading for an excerpt of Breaking Kate by D. Kelly
Chapter 1
3 years later
Las Vegas, also known as Sin City, is my current job location for the next few days. How could anyone not love a city whose entire motto is “what happens here, stays here”? I’m staying at the MGM Grand this time around. When I come with the guys they like to stay at the newest hotels, but I like the MGM. It’s not that old, and you just can’t beat a hotel where there’s a bartender who not only knows your name, but also remembers your drink order no matter how long it’s been since your last visit.
I checked in late last night after work and crashed as soon as I got here. Today is Friday and I don’t have to be back at the site until tomorrow. I spent most of the day at the pool relaxing. Vegas in January is usually freezing, but today it was seventy-three, and that was nice enough for me to babe watch from a poolside cabana. I need a new distraction—someone who can keep my mind off Katherine.
It’s been almost four years, but lately I’ve been thinking about her daily. Hell, I have always thought about her daily, but now she haunts my mind every waking second of the day. I wish I were lucky enough to avoid her in my sleep, but it’s even worse then. My dreams are filled with visions of her laughing and of us making love; those dreams are the best because I can actually feel the emotion in them. Before the dream ends, it is always the same—the dream morphs into the day we broke up, the day I left her shattered in pieces, then all that happiness evaporates into a gut-searing pain. I wake up in a cold fucking sweat Every. Single. Night. Lately, the dreams are even more vivid, and they seem to last longer. I wonder how many times I can relive seeing the heartbreak in her eyes and feel the pain crushing my soul.
It really doesn’t help that tomorrow is her birthday, but that’s why I volunteered to come out here this weekend—so I would be sure to stay far away from Los Angeles. I know, without a doubt, if I had stayed home I would’ve gone to Connor’s party and gotten drunk. Anytime an emotional anniversary comes up it seems like Connor is having a party that weekend. As much as I tell myself I won’t drink, I always do, to the point of oblivion. Well, up until six months ago, that is. That all changed after I fucked Vanessa right under Daniel’s nose. To be fair, I would’ve never been with her on a good day, sober or drunk. She’s a Grade-A bitch, and I still wonder if she didn’t slip something in my drink that night because even drunk, I have never not known who I was fucking.
The best thing that came out of that night was Daniel finally breaking up with her. It killed us all to see how much she continually used him for his money. I get that she comes from trailer trash, drug-addict parents who are barely conscious of what day it is, but she didn’t have to be vindictive and act like life owes her something. I grew up privileged, but I left it all behind and built myself up from the bottom after Katherine and I broke up. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me and helped me grow into the man I was meant to be.
I need this weekend to be all about pleasure, my pleasure. Hopefully, that will keep Katherine Moore out of my head once and for all. I’m looking forward to just losing myself in someone. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s pleasing women in bed, but in order to do that I need to find the right kind of girl. I don’t want a girl who’s going to want to latch on, or one who wants to exchange phone numbers. Hell, I’m perfectly fine with not even knowing her name because half the time I don’t remember it anyway. It always amazes me how gullible some women are. They’re so easily excited when you call them by an endearing name. They have no clue I call them sweetie, sweetheart, baby, honey, sunshine, precious, beautiful, or darling because I have forgotten their names. My goal tonight is to find a hot girl with a nice ass and a great rack who I can bend over and fuck the living daylights out of. Preferably, one I can tie to my bed so I can have complete control. It’s not like I have a fetish or anything, I just don’t like to be caressed and touched a lot. I don’t like or want intimacy with my sex, not since Katherine. I just want to take them hard and rough. Believe it or not, girls love it. It doesn’t hurt that I’m great at giving multiple orgasms, which is a skill I’ve developed over time. That’s another thing I regret about Katherine; I never tried to give her multiples. That’s something I would’ve loved to watch. Even after all this time I have never seen anyone come the way she
did. It was exquisite. Just thinking about it now, years later, still makes me hard. Damn it. I need to get drunk fast so I can push her to the back of my mind; I’m so tired of thinking about her.
When the elevator doors open, my mood lightens up. I love casinos. Even the overwhelming smell of smoke is okay because it’s all part of the atmosphere. Vegas is truly the place where no one gives a fuck what anyone does, how they dress, or how they act. If you aren’t walking around drunk, you’re not doing Vegas right. Already, there are girls eyeing me up—I know they think I’m hot and tonight I play it up to my advantage. It’s not like I’m even slightly conceited, but I’ve been asked many times if I’m a long lost Hemsworth brother and I know girls think they’re hot.
Tonight, I’m wearing a tight black t-shirt that grips all of my muscles, a comfortable pair of blue jeans, and my black Dr. Martens. The tattoos on my arms are visible and my hair is styled with just a little bit of gel in that way girls tell me is “just so hot.” Personally, I don’t really care how my hair looks. I’m more than happy to just buzz it off, but the one time I did, I seriously lacked in hookups for two months while it grew back.
I take a seat at my favorite bar and throw some money in the video poker machine while waiting for the bartender to make his way down here. I love this place; by the time Dave comes down he’s already got my drink in his hand. “Hey, Mike. How’s it going, man? I got your gin and tonic, Bombay Sapphire with limes, of course.”
I take the drink and shake his hand. “Thanks, Dave. It’s been a while. How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been good, thanks. It’s great to see you again. By the way, I’m placing my bet now. Judging by your appearance tonight, I give it forty-five minutes before you’re on your way back up with a beautiful girl, so I’m going to keep your drinks coming. I know you like a good buzz before leaving the bar.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “Ah, the all-knowing bartender has placed his bets. You know I’d hate to disappoint you, so how about you pour me a double shot now so I can step up my game.”