The worst thing of all was that I really had done nothing but follow orders this time. It seemed I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
The investigation would happen, but I doubted it’d be enough to save me. Not now. Not anymore. Too much had happened.
I wouldn’t lose hope completely until they shoved those papers into my hands, but as I left the base, I felt a fissure opening up in my heart. The chances of me ever coming back to do my job—while I still had one—weren’t very high.
I wasn’t only leaving the job behind, but I was also leaving my teammates behind. I would have been able to live with it if Eden hadn’t been back there, too. Somehow, I would have to find a way to make good on my vow to him.
I needed to be there to support him while he recovered. It wouldn’t be easy gaining access to my friend, but I was fucking determined to make it happen. No matter what, they weren’t taking Eden from me, too.
Chapter 20
Sofia
My father stormed back into the house in a rage several hours after he’d left. I still hadn’t been able to reach Lincoln, and fear was now a living thing inside me. With both of them possibly being affected by whatever this incident had been, I couldn’t help the worry coursing through me.
All the time Dad had been gone, I’d been pacing in our living room. After trying Lincoln a few more times, I’d decided to wait until Dad got back before calling him again.
The door ricocheted without catching with the force of Dad’s slam, but he didn’t even seem to notice. I’d collected his phone from the lawn earlier and plugged it into the charger, and he spotted it almost immediately.
Lunging for it, he punched in a number and ripped it off the cable before disappearing into his office. I could barely make out his muffled voice from inside it, but he was definitely beyond pissed.
It took him another fifteen minutes before he came out of his study, and his gaze landed on me. The skin around his eyes was still tight, and his eyes themselves seemed almost hollow. As if he’d burned through his rage and had been left with nothing inside.
“Are you okay?” I asked tentatively. Dad had never hurt me and never would, but he looked like he’d been to hell and back. I didn’t want to push him too fast or too far, but I also desperately needed to know what was going on.
My instincts were screaming at me that Lincoln was involved, and if he was, I needed to know he was okay.
Dad shrugged, stalking into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He added twice the amount of instant powder he usually used, but I didn’t stop him.
“Two of my guys who were on suspension went on a mission. They disobeyed direct orders. It’s going to be a nightmare cleaning this up.” He sighed, hanging his head as he braced himself against the counter. His knuckles turned white from the grip he had on the granite. “I’m supposed to be retired, for fuck’s sake. It’s like he’s trying to give me a goddamn heart attack.”
I didn’t ask who. I didn’t have to. I already knew.
Blood pounded in my ears and I felt woozy. Reaching out for the couch when my knees turned numb, I gripped the backrest and managed to squeeze words out past the tightness of my throat.
“Are the guys okay?”
His gaze narrowed on the boiling kettle, but he gave his head a small shake that made terror rush from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes. My extremities turned to ice, and my teeth just about started chattering.
“One is fine, but the other is in critical condition. Dobbs is like a fucking cat who has nine hundred lives instead of just nine. He’ll always be fine. It’s the destruction he leaves in his wake that’s deadly.”
Lincoln’s fine. Lincoln’s fine. Lincoln’s fine. The chant burst out in my mind, and my body reined in its reactions.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Dad ranted. “I’m so pissed off I can barely see straight, and he doesn’t say a single goddamn word.”
“I have to go,” I blurted out when it dawned on me that while Lincoln might not have been injured in this incident, it was highly doubtful that he was, in fact, fine.
Dad’s head whipped up, and he frowned deeply at me. “Where are you going? I thought you said you didn’t have any plans today?”
“I need to call Haley. It’s really important. I just remembered.”
He sighed, lifting his hands to massage his temples. “Of course. Sure. Go. This isn’t your problem.”
Guilt bloomed in my chest, but I shoved that shit down. I needed to try getting a hold of Lincoln again. Dad was pissed off, but he’d get over it. As he’d pointed out, he was retired. Technically, none of this was his problem anymore.
Lincoln, on the other hand, had somehow gotten involved with a mission while he’d been on suspension. I’d seen him only hours before he had to have gone, and he hadn’t mentioned anything about a mission to me.
In fact, when I’d asked him when he’d be leaving again, he specifically said not anytime soon. Something didn’t add up here, and I needed to find out what it was.
More importantly, though, the consequences of this incident could be dire for Lincoln under the circumstances. I needed to check on him. I also needed to know who it was that was in critical condition.
Eden was like a brother to him. He had no one else. If Eden was the one who had been hurt, Lincoln would need someone to be with him. I didn’t even care if he pulled that alpha-hole crap on me again. Everyone needed someone to be there for them when they were worried about a loved one.
Dad waved me off, and I tripped over my own feet trying to get upstairs to my bedroom. I just avoided a fall by catching the banister as I started toppling. I jerked myself upright and took off once more.
As soon as my door closed behind me, I shoved my hand into the tight pocket on my skinny jeans and yanked my phone out. The rough material burned the back of my hand from the force of my actions, but I barely noticed the sensation.
Hitting redial on the last number I’d called, I waited impatiently to see if he’d pick up this time. I walked right over to my window and continued my pacing from downstairs.
Large, impressive white blossoms sat on our magnolia tree, and the sight of them finally stopped my mad movements. Sinking into the seat at the bay window in my room, I leaned my head back against the wall and watched the white petals standing out boldly against the sky as the phone rang in my ear.
Just when I thought Lincoln wasn’t going to answer again, the ringing ended and his deep voice came over the line. “Hey, babe. Can I call you back? I can’t really talk now.”
“I’ll only be a minute. I promise,” I rushed out. “Are you busy right now? I’d like to come to see you.”
Nothing but silence met my request at first. For a minute, I wondered if he was going to respond at all. A soft gust of breath came next, then a short answer. “Yeah. Okay. I’m at my old place.”
He rattled off an address near the base. I knew the area, so it was easy to remember. “I’ll see you in a few minutes. Be there soon.”
He grunted a reply before the phone went dead. It wasn’t the most welcoming or reassuring conversation, but at least he’d taken my call and had agreed to let me come over.
Without bothering to change out of my stretchy old housework T-shirt, I lifted my purse off my dresser and took off back downstairs. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table, silently fuming as he pierced thin air with his gaze.
“Where are you going?” he asked when he saw me darting toward the door.
I stopped only long enough to say the first thing that came to mind. “I’m going to go help Haley with something at the deli. Did you need me here today?”
“No.” He scowled. “I’m going to be taking off myself again soon. I just want to finish my coffee first. I need to get back to work.”
“Except you’re retired,” I reminded him once again, shaking my head at the way he rolled his eyes at me. “Just be careful, please, Dad?”
“I’m going to the base,
kiddo. Not off to war. This might take a while, though. Will you be fine by yourself for dinner?”
“Sure.” I didn’t know whether I’d even be back by then. All I knew was that I’d stay with Lincoln for as long as he needed me. “Good luck, Dad. See you.”
“See you.” He waved, looking considerably less pissed off than he had even a minute before. Whatever this incident had been, together with the fact that suspended men had been involved, had obviously rattled him, but he was already working through it.
Dad would be fine. No doubt he’d be back on the golf course by tomorrow.
But Lincoln? His future was a whole different kettle of fish.
Chapter 21
Lincoln
The only person who knew where I was was Sofia. When a series of loud knocks banged at the door, I knew it had to be her.
Walking the few feet from the living room to the front door took me longer than it should have since my legs were still leaden, and the knocking intensified. As I pulled it open, Sofia barreled into me.
She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her front tightly against mine as she hugged me close. I briefly wondered if she was about to climb onto me, which I wouldn’t have been opposed to, but her feet remained firmly planted on the ground.
My arms closed around her on instinct, hugging her back as we stood in a doorway that was no longer mine but the closest thing I had to a home. God. Things are really fucked up right now.
“I heard about what happened,” she murmured, and I stiffened but didn’t say anything. “Well, I mean, I heard something happened but not what it was. Are you okay?”
The worry in her voice chipped away at the wall I’d thrown up around myself, and I found myself holding her just a little bit closer. One of my hands moved to her head, and I stroked her hair and her back as I rested my chin on top of her head.
“I’m okay. I wasn’t hurt.”
“That’s a start, I guess.” Her voice was muffled by my shirt, but I heard her loud and clear.
“If you’re planning on staying here with me, I don’t want to talk about it,” I warned her before letting her go.
The blue-green swirls of color in her eyes darkened as she looked up at me, and the golden flecks in them turned a shade of amber. “You don’t want to talk about it, as in, no details because it’s all classified, or do you mean acting like it didn’t happen?”
“Acting like it didn’t happen,” I replied without hesitation. “I want you to be here if you want to stay, but I can’t talk about what happened.”
“If you want me here, then here is where I’ll be.” She took a deep breath, then plastered a smile across her face. “Before we forget it happened, can I just tell you how happy I am that you’re not hurt?”
“Nope.” I stepped back into the house, moving to the side and gesturing her in. “Do you want to come inside? I just made popcorn and there’s a shitty, B-rated movie starting in a few minutes.”
“Good thing I love shitty B-movies.” She winked as she walked past me, but despite her best efforts, I could see her worry was lingering.
I couldn’t blame her. We might not have known each other for a long time, but I’d have been beside myself if I thought she had gotten hurt. Still, at least she had agreed not to talk about it.
Once she was clear of the door, I shut and locked it, turning to find she had stopped just a few paces away. She slid her purse off her shoulder and placed it on the round dining-room table, then shot me a look over her shoulder.
“Whose place is this?”
I hooked my fingers into the pockets of my jeans and lifted my shoulders. “Eden and I used to live here. Friends of ours took it over during one of our deployments, but they’re away at the moment. I still had keys and we have a standing invitation to stay here whenever we want.”
She looked around, frowning when she realized we were alone. “Where is Eden?”
“Not here,” I said curtly. “You want something to drink? There are a few beers in the fridge, or water.”
“Water’s fine. Thank you.” Concern flickered in her gaze again when she watched me move past her and into the kitchen. I heard her exhaling a deep breath, knowing that she was trying to keep from asking about where Eden was.
I couldn’t tell her, though. Not only because I didn’t want to and couldn’t legally talk about it, but also because I didn’t think I’d be able to say the words out loud. The guy had been right there by my side for so many years that he really had become a brother to me. Knowing that he was hurt and acknowledging it out loud? Yeah, no.
“So—” She cleared her throat, following me into the small kitchen area. “Are you going to stay here from now on?”
I shrugged again. “I collected all my stuff from the hotel. The guys who live here probably won’t be back for months, so I might stay.”
The truth was that I just hadn’t been able to stay at the hotel where Eden should have been living a few doors down. As soon as I’d walked into the lobby, it felt like my skin had shrunk and my heart had expanded. I hadn’t been able to breathe, and I’d needed to get out of there.
I’d grabbed my few belongings from my room with no place in mind to go to. After driving around for a while, I’d ended up back here.
Sofia took in the slightly flickering light in the kitchen, the yellowing countertops, and the lack of any personal appliances covering them, and sighed. “Do they keep any food here? I’m in the mood to cook and I can do it without any fancy equipment, but I will need actual ingredients.”
I took two glasses out of a cabinet and filled them with water from the faucet, then handed one over to her before motioning toward the pantry. “They might not have left much. We never used to leave much around. It was one of the reasons we decided to move out eventually.”
“Because you left no food in your pantry?” she asked as she squeezed between me and the counter. There was no judgment in her tone, which was something I had come to appreciate about her.
While she’d obviously never lived this life herself, she did have more of an understanding of it than most other women I’d been with. I moved out of her way, shrugging as I lifted my glass to my lips.
“Well, not the food necessarily. It just seemed like a waste to have a place when we weren’t there for months at a time. The guys who took this place over crashed here so often it was practically theirs even before we moved our clothes out of our closets to make space for theirs.”
The pantry door creaked when she opened it, sticking her head in to investigate the scraps left in it. “That makes sense. I’m assuming all of you rented this place with all the furniture already in it?”
I nodded. “It comes fully furnished. We’ve all added bits and pieces but not much.”
“I saw some pictures up on the wall near the TV as we passed the living room. Are those actual people you know in them or the models that came with the frame?”
Despite the absolutely shit day I’d had, I chuckled at her question. “They’re people we know. I think I might even be in one or two of them. Eden had a girlfriend once who decided the place needed some character.”
“Ah.” Sofia came out of the pantry with half a bag of pasta clutched in her hand. “Let me guess. She said photos were essential to character?”
“Yep.” I tipped my glass in her direction before taking a sip and swallowing. “She also chose the decorative pillows on the couches, if that means anything.”
The corners of her lips edged upward. “I wondered about those.”
“You noticed a lot of details for someone who hasn’t even been in that room yet,” I said. “Do you have any surveillance training I should know about?”
“Nah, not formally.” Placing the pasta down on the counter, she moved her lips from side to side before opening the freezer. “My father did raise me, though. You can’t be around a man like that and not pick up a thing or two.”
I nodded. “Makes sense. Especially not if you’re as smart as you ar
e.”
Peering out at me from behind the white door, she shot me a look, but her cheeks were pink. “It has nothing to do with intelligence. Well, not of that kind anyway.”
I chuckled again, and she smiled a smug smile before her head disappeared behind the door again. “I get it. You meant it had to do with intelligence gathering and not the intelligence of the actual gatherer.”
When she emerged again, she reached into the freezer to extract a package with a few chicken breasts left in it. “Thank you for pointing it out, Captain Obvious.”
“You’re welcome.” Both of us were surprised when my lips spread into a grin. “What are you planning on cooking?”
She pushed her dainty nose into the air and sniffed, the corners of her lips pressing in. “I don’t know yet. I’m still gathering intelligence.”
“Ha ha,” I said dryly but then laughed quietly as I watched her pushing up on her toes to inspect the contents of the cabinet nearest to her. “Okay then. What else did you notice about the place so far?”
Pulling her head out of the cabinet to roll her eyes at me, she also handed a bottle of cinnamon over. “Check the expiration date on that for me, please? Cinnamon should be fine either way, but it would help to know.”
Before diving back in, she glanced down at the counter, tested it with her palms, and shrugged. Out of nowhere, she hopped onto it and flashed me a triumphant grin. “That should make it easier to see what’s all in there.”
“You could have just asked.” I pointed at my chest. “I do have a slight height benefit.”
“Slight?” She scoffed but smiled at the same time. “What are you, like, six foot twenty-seven?”
“Nope, not twenty-seven. Just four.”
“Still almost a whole foot taller than me,” she said in a sing-song voice before going back on her search. “Thanks for the offer, but I won’t know what I need until I see something I can use. I’m a visual person.”
Let Freedom Ring Page 14