“Calm down, honey. You were right to call the vet. Do you think somebody is trying to poison your dog?”
“I don’t know, but it seems suspicious. I think I ought to get it tested or something.”
“I’ll call Bo. He can take it down to the lab at the Sheriff’s Department and have it tested. Where’s Rob?”
“I’m not sure. He left right after supper.” She wasn’t about to tell Nick about their fight.
Where was Rob? She shouldn’t need him. She was an independent woman, and when she needed someone, her brother was only a phone call away.
“I’ll be over,” her brother interrupted her thoughts. She hung up, and slid down the door, until she was sitting on the floor.
A worried Maverick nuzzled her jawline with his nose, and she put her arm around him in a hug. She wasn’t sure who needed it more, him or her. Burying her face in his fur, she let the tears come.
Chapter Nineteen
Rob had driven around Ridgeview County long enough. He needed to get over himself. Okay, so MJ hadn’t understood his need for more information about PTSD. She’d never faced the terrible things that could happen when you didn’t have enough information. She didn’t know what it was like to be at the mercy of insurgents and a population that wanted you dead. She’d never felt the helplessness of watching someone you loved like a brother die. It should have been him, not Trevor. Every time he thought about Trevor, he felt guilty. Did he deserve happiness with his buddy’s girl? Hell, probably not, but he wanted it, anyway.
MJ was smart and sweet. She’d jumped into the challenge of handling Maverick, even though she’d felt out of her element at first. Somehow, she pulled on reserves of courage and determination to overcome her own grief in order to honor Trevor’s gift.
Hell, he’d fled the discussion with her as if his pants were on fire. He’d stomped out like a teenager who didn’t get his own way. He needed to act like a man. If he wanted a relationship with MJ, he’d have to earn it.
He took a deep breath and did a U-turn at the next intersection. He’d never been in this part of Ridgeview County, but he had a sense of direction that should help him find his way back to MJ’s.
Not long afterward, he pulled into her driveway, startled to see the Ridgeview Sheriff’s squad car there. What the hell? Another truck sat parked behind MJ’s Honda and looked like it had come in fast and swerved at the last moment to avoid smashing into her car.
He pulled in behind the truck and leaped out of his vehicle just as the door into the kitchen opened. He heard Sheriff Daniels say, “I’ll run this and let you know what I find. Be careful, MJ.”
“Hey, Sheriff. What’s going on?”
“I’ll let MJ and Nick fill you in. I’ve got to get this down to the lab.”
Rob noticed him holding a plastic bag with what looked like a plastic container inside. “Okay. Sure.”
“Keep them safe,” Sheriff Daniels ordered.
Them? A chill raced down his spine, and he turned and practically ran into the kitchen. He saw Nick holding MJ in his arms, as she sobbed against his chest. Maverick stood next to them, a worried look in his canine eyes.
Rob’s heart squeezed. Had he been the cause of this? Maverick came over to him and his nose sought Rob’s hand. The Malinois ducked his head in a request to be petted, until Rob’s hand rested on top of his furry head.
Nick’s eyes landed on him and glared. “Where have you been?”
MJ wiped her nose on her brother’s flannel shirt and turned to look at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and she sniffed deeply, and gave him a watery, half-hearted smile.
“What happened?” He reached for MJ’s hand. She seemed so small and helpless.
“S-s-somebody put meat in the b-backyard.”
“What? What do you mean?”
She shook her head, and tears coursed down her face.
He turned to Nick for an explanation.
“She found some hamburger meat in a plastic container hidden under that big bush back by the fence. Maverick had crawled under there and was growling.”
“Did he…?”
Nick shook his head. “We don’t think so.”
“He’s been trained not to eat unless instructed.”
“It looked suspicious, so she called me, and I called Bo. He’s taking the meat to be tested, and he’ll fingerprint the container.”
MJ let out a wail and began sobbing again, this time into her hands.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I should have been here. We’ll figure it out.” Rob reached out and pulled her into his chest. “The important thing is that both of you are safe.”
He met Nick’s gaze, and MJ’s brother gestured with his head to meet him outside.
“Why don’t you get ready for bed, sweetheart? I’ll walk Nick out. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Sis, you be safe and take care. You did well protecting your dog. I’m glad you called me so we can get it checked out.”
“Thanks for coming, Nick.”
Nick kissed MJ on the top of her head, and then together the two men went outside.
“I don’t like this,” Nick began.
“You think I do? Seems like somebody has figured out where Maverick and I are staying. Last time they burned us out. I don’t want to do anything to put MJ at risk.”
“So who the hell do you think it is?”
“My best guess would be Kent Barnard. He hates Maverick and me, too, although I don’t really understand why. He’s probably unhinged enough to hurt an innocent dog, not to mention a person or two.”
“I know you wondered what was up with Derrick and the way he acted about the fire. I didn’t like what you told me, so I went and talked with him. He finally admitted he’s been having an affair with a married woman. He thought maybe her husband found out about them and torched the apartment, but it turns out he was out of town. So, Kent Barnard would be my best guess, too.” Nick studied him. “I hate it, because it puts MJ at risk.”
“I hate that part, too. I can handle myself, but I don’t want to do anything that could lead to MJ being harmed.”
“Maybe you and Maverick should find someplace else to go. Someplace that won’t put my sister in danger.”
“I’ve thought of that. The problem is that if I move out, she’s left unprotected.”
“Dammit, you’re right.”
“There’s something else you need to know.”
Nick’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know if she told you or not. I’m getting treated for PTSD.”
“Does that mean she’s already in danger from you?”
Rob looked MJ’s brother in the eye. “I would never hurt MJ.” He took a deep breath and went on. “In fact, we’re planning on dating, trying out a relationship. I went to the VA Outpatient Clinic in Knoxville, and I’ll be in both individual therapy and a support group with other vets.”
“Yeah, so?”
“The support group meets on Tuesday nights, from seven to nine. That means I won’t be here, and she’ll be here alone with Maverick.”
“Okay. I’ll figure out a way to drop over on Tuesday nights, or have her come over to our place. Let’s see what Bo comes up with. Maybe we’re getting all bent out of shape for no reason. Maybe it’s just some old lady who wanted to leave a treat for Maverick.”
They both knew a little old lady wouldn’t crawl over the fence and hide hamburger meat under a bush.
Rob rolled his eyes. “I’ll keep my eyes open.”
“We should know something soon. Bo will fast-track the lab work. If we’re lucky, there will be fingerprints on the container.”
“Hope so. Thanks for showing up for her tonight.”
Nick studied him, but didn’t ask. “You’d better not put MJ at risk. It’s going to be your responsibility to keep her safe.”
Rob nodded. “Hopefully, the sheriff can get some answers.”
Nick lifted his chin to acknowledge him.
“Yeah. Move your truck so I can get out, okay?”
***
MJ hung up from her followup conversation with Dr. Waring. They’d decided the vet didn’t need to see Maverick tonight, although she advised MJ to watch him carefully for the next twenty-four hours.
She sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Rob to come inside. Dropping her hand, she idly scratched behind Maverick’s ear. His tail thumped on the kitchen floor in response. “You’re such a good boy. You’re sure you didn’t eat any of that meat?” He cocked his head at her, then turned as the back door opened.
“Hey,” said Rob, as he slid down into the chair next to her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you guys. I was a jerk.”
“What made you leave?”
“I was frustrated. I felt as if you didn’t understand why I want to learn more about PTSD.”
“Rather than stay and explain, you took off.”
He hung his head. “Yeah. Like I said, I was a jerk.”
“Yes, you were. Listen, Rob. If this is the way you handle things when you’re frustrated, I don’t think we have much of a future. I want a partner, not somebody that runs away.”
“I know. I want to trust you, to confide in you, but I don’t want you to see me as a wuss. This past year hasn’t left me at my best. I hate feeling out of control. I hate worrying my PTSD will ruin my relationship with you. I want to take charge and move through whatever I have to do.”
She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “I know. If you remember, the wars have taken things away from me, too. There have been too many casualties, too much loss. Sometimes I think those left behind have it the worst. We have to pull lives together again.”
“I’ll do everything I can to get over this. I want to be the man you deserve. Can you be patient with me?”
“Yes, but you need to be patient with yourself, too. You won’t overcome this overnight. I’ll help you any way I can, but I don’t want to do anything that might make things worse. Promise me you’ll talk with your counselor about reading up on PTSD. If he gives you the go-ahead, I’ll help you find the materials you need.” She let herself smile, even though it was half-hearted and filled with worry for him. “I know how to research and find resources to help explain things.”
Rob nodded. “Thank you, MJ. I’ll talk with my counselor tomorrow and see what he says. C’mon. We’d better get some sleep.”
He stood and pulled her up, moving her toward her bedroom. He entered and pulled back her covers.
Her heart beat faster at the thought he might join her. Instead, he leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss.
“Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well. Dream happy dreams.”
She nodded, disappointed. “Don’t you want to stay with me?”
“I’d love to, but I don’t think I should. Give me some time to fix the parts that are broken.”
She sighed and made a face. “Okay. You weren’t kidding when you said I’d need to be patient.”
He snorted a laugh and chucked her under the chin. “I want a relationship with you, and even though it may take some time to get my life back, it’s important. I need therapy for PTSD. I hope I’ll be worth waiting for, because healing will take time. I think being with you will be worth everything it takes, though.” He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers in a soft, slow kiss before leaving the room.
She lay in bed a long time later, still thinking about Rob and his PTSD. “Help him, Trevor,” she prayed. “Help him recover. He deserves it, but I’m not sure he knows that yet.”
She checked to see if Maverick was on the floor at the foot of the bed. “G’night, Maverick.” He opened an eye and then closed it again. She leaned over the nightstand and turned out the light.
Funny, but she felt better. More hopeful. It almost felt as if Trevor was watching over them as their very own guardian angel. “Thanks,” she whispered.
Chapter Twenty
Whimpering woke her from a nightmare of a man in dark clothing chasing her. It took a minute for her to shake it off and to realize the whimpering wasn’t coming from her.
“Maverick?” She slid out of bed, turned on the light, and found him on the floor at the end of the bed. He whimpered, and his body was rigid. Occasionally, he’d jerk his feet as if running. Was this his PTSD, or just a normal dog dream? She sat down on the floor next to him, remembering what the vet had told them about grounding him.
“Maverick.” She tried to make her voice stern and commanding. No response except more whimpering. Swallowing hard, she reached her hand out toward his head, and petted him with as much pressure as she could. “Va bene, Maverick.” she said quietly. No that wasn’t right; she needed to be more forceful.
She cleared her throat. “Va bene! Va bene, Maverick! It’s okay! You’re safe. It’s time to wake up!” She heard her voice wobble, and took in a deep breath. “Va bene! Tu sei al sicuro!” She was probably butchering the pronounciation. She’d learned the phrase, “you are safe,” but hadn’t used it yet. She continued to pet him and say the phrases over and over.
His whimpering stopped, and his eyes popped open. He moved his head to look at her more closely, then looked around the room.
“Va bene, Maverick.” She saw the hall light come on, and Rob appeared in the doorway.
“Is he okay? I heard you shouting in Italian.”
“He seemed to be dreaming. I didn’t know if it was PTSD, but I followed Dr. Waring’s instructions to get him grounded and aware.”
Rob dropped to the floor on the other side of the dog. Maverick looked back and forth between them. “It’s okay, buddy. We’re both here. You’re safe.” He added his hand to the dog’s back, petting him firmly.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, although I was nervous about touching him. I didn’t know how he’d respond. I didn’t know if he’d recognize me, or if he’d attack me or something.”
“You mean, like I did?” He looked down at the dog again. “I guess it never hurts to be careful, but the longer he’s around you, the more he’ll recognize your scent, and that you’re a friend. I don’t think he’d attack unless directed to. He seems pretty relaxed. Was he worked up?”
“Mostly he was whimpering and jerking his feet like he was running.”
“The whimpering suggests he wasn’t chasing a rabbit. Maybe it was a bad dream, or a flashback.”
“That’s what I thought, too.”
“I’ll take him out.” He looked at the clock on her dresser. “You’ve got a couple more hours to sleep.”
“Thanks.”
They all scambled to their feet, and she turned away to head back to bed. Rob grabbed her wrist.
“I’m sorry I was such a jerk tonight. You did well with him. Not just now, but earlier, too. He’s in good hands.”
“I hope so.” She gazed up at him, and felt drawn in by the emotion in his eyes. They stared at each other, and she wasn’t sure who moved first. His arms encircled her, and she reached up to put her hands around his neck. She stretched up, and his lips met hers as he leaned down. What started as a brush of lips against each other quickly morphed into a passionate kiss. His tongue traced along the seam of her mouth, and she opened to meet it. The taste of him was unlike anyone else, and she suspected that no matter what happened between them, she’d never forget his masculine scent and the taste of him. She could do anything as long as his strong arms held her. She turned off her brain and gave herself over to the sensations of his tongue against hers, the sound of their breathing, and the warmth of her breath against his. His groan triggered her own intense moan, and she gripped him harder, aware of the hardness of his erection against her belly. She could get lost in this. She moved closer, rubbing herself against him, and moaning again.
His hands drifted over her back, sliding down to cup her ass and pull her closer. She felt his hard length as she ground herself into him. He froze and pushed her back.
“I’m sorry, MJ. I shouldn’t do t
his. I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can be a guy who’s good enough for you.”
She looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I want to be the kind of guy who is right for you. Right now, I’m broken. I need to clear my head to be able to move beyond the stuff I saw over there. I need to get rid of the ghosts, so that I can be here for you. I want to be someone you can be proud of. I want to be someone who deserves you.”
“Does that mean we can’t be together?” She gestured at the two of them.
“As difficult as it will be, yes.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Lord save me from stupid men. I’m a grown-ass woman. I know what I want. I don’t need you to decide what I deserve.” She continued to shake her head. What was wrong with her that she seemed to pick men who couldn’t take a chance and have a relationship? Men who supposedly cared about her but were reluctant to show it? First Trevor, now Rob. “Go. Just go.”
She turned her back on him and climbed into bed. She threw one last dirty look at him before reaching over to turn out the light. Then, giving her back to him, she sighed and pretended to go to sleep.
She woke up to her alarm at 6 a.m. She fumbled with it, but finally silenced it. She’d had trouble getting back to sleep, and now her head was foggy, and it hurt to move. She felt rusted shut. Maybe coffee and breakfast would help.
She rolled out of bed and picked out a pair of black, knit pants. They weren’t exactly yoga pants, but they were comfy and that’s what she needed right now. It was supposed to be in the high 40s today, so she put on a long-sleeved black shirt and grabbed a red, knit jacket to wear over it. Maverick was missing, so maybe he was with Rob. She headed to the bathroom to wash her face and put on makeup. As if that would help her feel better.
She ran into Rob and Maverick in the kitchen. Maverick looked up and gave her a doggy grin, then came over to stick his head under her hand. She liked a male who was clear about what he wanted. Rob’s mixed messages made her crazy. She glanced over at him as he stood at the stove, cooking scrambled eggs. Damn it. Why did he have to look so good, especially first thing in the morning?
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