Earth Cat Zero: Last Cat Meowing

by Gary Starta

  Schultz felt rather good about himself with that conclusion. He even believed Caron Ellis would willingly go along with his plan despite her strong nature. She would still be a variable Schultz couldn’t quite account for, so he decided to buy some cat beds and toys to soften her disposition. Nevertheless, despite his good feelings - Schultz spent the night tossing and turning and when he slept, he dreamt of Mrs. Ellis as a quark. Both could be quantified as unknowns at this juncture. Especially how they might behave.

  Chapter Five

  Normand Toews wasn’t much of a drinker and he probably wouldn’t have stopped at the ironically named club Hush Bar & Lounge if he hadn’t run out of sleep aids. Besides his normal bout with insomnia, Normand was facing his conscience in a battle with guilt. Shouldn’t I be alerting Caron Ellis of this shadow government’s involvement? But no. I can’t. They could take everything I have left away from me with those nondisclosure agreements I signed.

  Normand didn’t know who was behind the anonymous call made to Brookhaven Director Max Schultz, but it spelled trouble in any vernacular. It didn’t matter if it was the government, a branch of it or some black budget operation. The bottom line seemed clear. Whomever it was would take control over Earth Cat, leaving the Ellis family devastated and possibly endangering the last domesticated cat on the planet, even if it was an anomaly brought to life via atomic experimentation.

  Nodding to the waitress for another Long Island iced tea, Normand’s gesture had also caught the attention of a brunette woman wearing a Mets T-Shirt underneath a jeans jacket. She was seated just a few tables back from the bar where Normand appeared to be drowning his sorrows.

  After Normand accepted the drink, he combed a hand through his unkempt dirty blonde hair.

  “Ah, come on. Even if they lose, it will only be the third in a row, and only defy the odds of having home field advantage.”

  The woman spoke forcefully and for a moment it reminded him of Caron. He shuddered fearing Mrs. Ellis had somehow followed him into this bar. He tried to look the other way, but whomever the voice belonged to was now tapping him on the shoulder. The engineer struggled to make sense of the comment until he realized a TV was playing directly in front of him where the Cardinals were in process of sweeping the Mets.

  “Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to come off so pitifully.” Normand swiveled his chair to extend a hand to the woman, knowing only observation would determine if it was Caron or not.

  To his relief, the brunette introduced herself as Shelley. “Nice to meet you. Well, if you’re not a sports fan, there’s probably only two other reasons you’re drinking solo tonight.”

  “Uh, huh. I’m Normand.” Normand’s first reaction was mortification at his grunt- like response. “I mean, I didn’t know the Mets were losing. Shame on me. I mean, here I am in a sports bar and all.” Normand battled to recover but he knew he was losing this game as well. I guess I know how those Mets feel.

  Chuckling, Shelley repeated her question. “So, don’t you want to know the other two reasons you might be in here this evening?”

  Normand struggled for his voice wondering if somehow this woman was part of the anonymous phone call made to Schultz. “No. I mean. I do. I do.” He extended a hand and motioned at the empty stool beside him. “Please take a seat.”

  “Don’t mind if I do.” The woman shook her head, so her curly locks bounced. “Well, either you’re missing a significant other, meaning a lover, or…maybe it’s another kind of lover you’re lamenting over.”

  Normand gazed into the woman’s eyes as if a deer caught in headlights.

  The woman reached for her drink from the bartender and sipped it through a straw. Whatever it was, the concoction was bright green.

  “Okay, so you’re a pet lover, I imagine.”

  “Oh, you mean… I see. No, I didn’t have a cat, but I know of someone who misses theirs dearly.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “Looks like that drink would be more minty.”

  “No, I meant your concern for this friend is sweet, silly.”

  “I just wish I could do more than be sweet.” Normand shrugged.

  The woman drummed fingers on the bar. “I know. I hate feeling helpless. The world, sports, everything it seems to be out of our control.”

  Normand reached for his drink to muster courage. This woman was only correct if she were making a surface observation. Deep down he had the power to do something about it. He was part of the process that had made it happen. “Damn it!” Normand didn’t realize he had vocalized his last thought.

  The woman splayed her hand over his forearm. “Whomever this friend is, he sure has a great bestie.”

  Normand chuckled. “Oh, I don’t think she would give me that title.”

  Shelley batted eyelashes. “Oh, she’s a she?”

  Normand’s eyes were pleading.

  Shelley removed her hand. “I think I know what you’ve got to do.”

  “What?”

  “Go be with her. Console her.”

  “I don’t think she would want company at this hour and besides, we are only acquaintances, Shelley.”

  “Ooh. What other dark secrets have you got for me?”

  With a drink coursing through his system, Normand didn’t conclude the woman was being facetious or maybe even flirty. His guilt only seemed to flame higher as if another piece of kindling were thrown into the pit of his soul. He felt confessional. Damn it! I should at least be able to tell this woman in a roundabout way of this predicament. I have to…I just can’t go on with this secret inside of me, not when there’s so many distraught families out there.

  Normand swiveled his chair, so his knees were practically touching Shelley’s and then in another awkward gesture, he took both of her hands into his.

  “I do need to confess, Shelley. I don’t think the cats disappeared by happenstance. I think, no, I know, that an event caused this.”

  “Oh no, dear. What event would you be talking about?”

  “I work at Brookhaven where we do collider accelerations. I had observed the acceleration at the same time an odd-colored cat appeared and disappeared in the tunnel where I work. I – I don’t know much more but I do know the event and the cat’s appearance are just too coincidental.”

  “Wow! Have you told your bosses?”

  “Oh, they know all about it.” Normand attempted to lower his voice realizing that he had already revealed the players and that the cat was literally out of the bag.

  “I thought there might have been something to that missing cat story. But everyone just laughed it away as a hoax when the lab retracted the request.” Normand recalled Brookhaven had apologized to the media after running an appeal for a blue and green cat immediately after it was found at the Ellis residence. They had blamed it on the hysteria of a worker’s dismay at finding the diminished cat population. “Yes, you are correct, Shelley.” Normand sighed as if a part of the weight had been removed from his shoulders.

  “I knew it!” Shelley repeated her statement with even more conviction the second time sending ice water rippling through Normand’s veins.

  “Oh, but we can’t panic, Shelley. We are meeting to correct this. The planet’s best minds will figure this out.” Normand felt ice cold on the inside but flushed on the outside in his panic to alleviate Shelley’s concerns. What have I just done? Normand could only hope the woman was buzzed and might not recall the conversation the next morning. That was until she dragged a phone out of her bag.

  “Normand, you can’t have too many friends at a time like this. I need to get going for work in the morning, but I don’t want to lose touch with you. Let me friend you on Face Touch.”

  “I can’t – I don’t know anything other than what I’ve already told you.”

  “No, Normand. I just want to be there as a friend for you.” She smiled but her lips were closed.

  “I see. It’s Toews.”

  “Oh
, like that hockey player.”

  “That what?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, you and sports. I forgot.”

  Just a few taps at her phone screen sealed the deal. What have I done?

  Normand rubbed fingers into his temples as she rose to leave.

  “I’ll be there for you. And you for me.”

  “So, you’ve lost a pet too?”

  “No, but I have plenty of friends who have. See you around, or at least on social media, Normand.”

  Normand clasped both hands around his drink.

  “All set?” the bartender inquired.

  “Ah, yes. Do you know that woman I was just talking to? Is she a regular?”

  “Yes. Didn’t you get her name? I saw her tapping at her phone. I think she got yours.”

  Normand realized bartenders survived via observation. It made sense that the employee would assume he was trying to set up a date with her. He nodded to no one in particular, trying to quell another inner voice of guilt. She was just trying to be friendly. She was drinking. She’ll forget all about our conversation – and me – once she leaves.

  Shelley Rosenquist wasn’t about to forget the conversation which confirmed her worst suspicions about the lab. Once inside her Chevy Suburban, she scrolled her phone contacts to find her blogger friend, Mark O’Shea.

  “Mark, you won’t believe the scoop I’ve got for you.”

  “Have you been out drinking, Shelley?”

  “Yeah, but I got my wits about me. Remember that missing cat story?”

  “Well, which one? There’s been about a gazillion so far.”

  “The blue and green cat one, of course.”

  “But that was explained to be some sort of hoax or mistake?”

  “No. It’s not. I just talked to a Brookhaven employee who says the disappearance is all because of some acceleration at the lab.”

  “I don’t know. They do accelerations all the time, Shelley. What would make this any different?”

  “That’s your job to find out, Mark. Why don’t you use this opportunity to get off the Internet and onto network news? Think about it.”

  “I will check it out. Sure, Shelley.”

  “I got this all on the QT, Mark. But I’ve got the name of the official and everything.”

  After Mark had taken the information, Shelley cautioned.

  “Please avoid mentioning my name as a source if possible. Also, I think we should disconnect now, a cell phone isn’t exactly a secure line. But we should be all right. We’ve only been on the line for three minutes. I’m also glad that I got that new malware installed…”

  “Absolutely, Shelley. Drive safe.”

  The blogger disconnected the phone as instructed but muttered underneath his breath as he did it. “Shelley, don’t you know data security is just an oxymoron.”

  Normand restrained himself from making eye contact with the doctor who sat next to him in the backseat of Director Schultz’s sedan. Who is this man? Schultz and Catalina had only introduced him as Dr. Brands, some renowned physician among bureaucratic circles. Apparently, I’m out of the loop. I’ve never heard of this man and he doesn’t appear to be too doctorly.

  From side glances, Normand could observe the man tapping hands on his thighs as if listening to some unheard tune and he chewed gum with an incessant verve.

  The man would speak every now and then, his comments directed to the driver, Schultz and his front seat companion, Catalina.

  “Care for some of this cherry vanilla gum? Mm. It’s so tasty. You never know what the world will come up with next.”

  The men only answered with a polite ‘no’.

  This doctor thinks a flavor of gum is more eminent than a blue and green cat? What kind of world is he speaking about?

  Once the fanfare of entering the Ellis residence was over (it was only slightly less jarring to Normand’s nerves because of his preoccupation with the previous evening’s bar conversation) the engineer took his seat on the couch and fiddled with his phone. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut when he realized there was no friend request from Shelley. He felt even worse that his ignorance of today’s meeting would apprise Caron of the doctor’s involvement regardless. Now he had volunteered sensitive information to the public. He was sure of it.

  Caron Ellis had to repeat her drink offer to Normand twice before he answered.

  “You’re too polite, Mrs. Ellis. No thank you. I am still absorbing last night’s refreshments.”

  Schultz seated next to him, scowled. “I think Normand means he was up all-night drinking coffee. Weren’t you, Normand?” The engineer winced at a poke to his ribs.

  “Oh, don’t consider me too polite,” Caron answered. “Even men sent to their death sentences are offered a last meal.”

  Normand felt the burn of her gaze. It was as if she could see right through him.

  Dr. Brands clapped hands. “Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I would like an Orangina or a maybe root beer if you have it.”

  Miranda gazed at the doctor inquisitively. “Root beer it is.”

  Once drinks were served, everyone’s gaze seemed to gravitate to Earth Cat locked away in his cat carrier. The doctor spoke nonchalantly as if he were discussing the weather.

  “Maybe we should meet the fellow.”

  Normand could only stare speechless at this doctor. He is either the most audacious person I’ve ever met, or the most clueless. Maybe both. Brands’s gaze remained fixated on Earth Cat’s cage. But Normand’s attention was on Caron and Miranda. He was certain they would be doing the pouncing and not the cat.

  “I think before we meet the fellow, we should go over our agreement; shouldn’t we Director Schultz?” Caron tapped a toe on the floor with eyebrows raised.

  Schultz nodded. “Of course. I think you’ll be pleased, Caron.” He handed the document to her.

  Caron seated herself on the loveseat and donned eyeglasses from a pouch on the adjacent coffee table. “I will need to see this for myself.”

  “Yes, of course. As stated, you will be made international spokesperson for Earth Cat and your daughter will be his chaperone as you intimated.”

  “Of course, I can see that, Director. But I am yet puzzled as to how I will become a spokesperson for a cat who has yet to be announced as real to the public.”

  Schultz folded his hands and bowed his head as if he needed a moment to summon an answer.

  Miranda raised a hand. “And just what is in that bag, Mr. Schultz? I thought we also agreed to no experimentation.”

  Schultz pulled cat toys and a bed from the sack as if he were Santa himself. “I offer these gifts as my promise to you that Earth Cat will be kept as safe and comfortable as can be.”

  “Oh.” Brands intervened. “You might not want to promise comfortable.” The doctor scoured a hand over his scalp.

  Mother and daughter scowled in response. “I can…” Caron said, “agree to our parts in the contract – I also would like to be brought back to Brookhaven as a physicist on your team – but bottom line is you’ve got to promise me no inhumane treatment.”

  Schultz frowned as if competing for a bigger scowl than the Ellis’s could muster. “I assure you whatever procedures we will do – I mean Dr. Brands will do – won’t cause the animal discomfort. Won’t we, Dr. Brands?”

  Brands sipped at his root beer. “I can make it painless, of course.”

  Miranda threw up hands. “You are so going to violate this agreement – which we haven’t even signed yet!”

  “No. We. Won’t.” Schultz used his most commanding tone and for a moment, even Normand believed him until the next bit of information was revealed.

  “I will also see to it that the doctor treats the cat humanely.” Catalina added trying his best to assume a fatherly tone.

  “Assurances. Assurances. What is exactly going to go on here?” Caron removed her eyeglasses.

  “If I
just could speak…” Schultz cut Brands off, waving a hand.

  “In a moment, Doctor. I have seen Dr. Brands’s work. It is amazing, astonishing and well worth any risk to move the animal kingdom forward.”

  Normand swallowed audibly. I was not briefed on this!

  “Now,” Schultz continued with outstretched arms, “we are asking the unthinkable, don’t think we don’t know that. But we may be limited to ascertain the necessary information required to solve our cat conundrum.”

  Miranda interrupted. “More like a cat catastrophe, sir.”

  The director continued to speak with hands raised palms upward as if maybe praying to a higher power, or as Normand thought, possibly raised to resemble question marks as if admitting he had no idea of what he was asking the Ellis’s to accept.

  “I do feel we can trust the doctor. Dr. Brands, I think it’s time to reveal your accomplishments.”

  Brands nodded and pulled a tablet from his suit jacket. “Yes. It’s showtime as they say.” When no one laughed at his lame joke, the doctor continued.

  “I want you to meet a friend I call ‘Red’.”

  The video played with everyone’s mouths agape except Earth Cat’s who interspersed a few well-placed mewls in between the sound bites.

  “How are you today, Red?” Brands asked the bird shown in the video.

  Normand coughed in reaction to his dry throat. That bird has the same look and color as that team on the TV last night…the Cardinals!

  “I would be better if we could dispense with all the chit chat.”

  Brands paused the video to narrate. “As you can see, my cardinal friend has quite an attitude - for a bird. Why just the other night we were discussing our different views on dinosaurs and how they seemed to morph –.”

  Caron’s hands were held flush against her cheeks. “Am I supposed to believe what I’m seeing? Is this faked for my benefit?”