by Grace, Hazel
Her with Gavin.
Me with everyone else.
“We can probably start back in a few,” I comment. “Gavin should be coming out of his hiding spot as soon as the pigs leave.”
“Yeah...okay,” she mutters, staying quiet for a moment before speaking again. “Colson?”
“Hm?”
“You’re not as big of an asshole as you lead people to believe.”
I narrow my brows and look over at her. “What?”
She points toward the entrance of the burrow. “You just saved me from the cops. You saved me from Mandy and her little tyrants. You’re not that bad of a guy.”
I turn my attention away. “Then I need to up my game because I don’t want to start looking soft.”
Now, she chuckles. “Sure, Mr. Hardass.” I don’t respond to that. I saved her from the cops so that it didn’t dissuade everyone else from coming out here again. Besides, I’d end up being the one to drive Gavin to the police station to grab her and who knows who would’ve been in a cell with her. Secondly, I didn’t need Sawyer getting her ass beat by Mandy on my watch. Did I want her shunned from the female population at school? Yeah, but not physically hurt.
I’m not that big of a douchebag.
But apparently, scrappy Sawyer didn’t need too much help.
“Colson?”
“Bases?”
“About the night at...Liam’s party, I’m sorry that I...about the things I said.” My chest tightens, but I focus on my breathing.
“Don’t worry about it,” I reply. “I was fucked up.”
“Oh...yeah, you were.” Reaching into the pocket of my jean jacket, I pull out my box of Marlboro Reds. I pat the front pockets searching for my lighter when one appears in front of me.
Slowly, I turn my head to Sawyer looking at me with a blank expression. “What do you have that for?”
She arches a brow. “I’m in the middle of nowhere. I come prepared.”
“What are you going to do, start a forest fire so you can get rescued?” I take the lighter and put the cigarette in between my lips to light it.
“I’m not that big of Goody Two-Shoes,” she professes when I hand it back to her. I take a deep hit of nicotine and let it fill into my lungs.
“No?” I state on an exhale. “Never seen you do much of anything besides the shit you pulled with Taylor.”
“Then dare me to do something,” she counters. I hold my cancer stick between my fingers and don’t even let my mind come up with things I could dare her with.
Not happening.
“I’ll pass,” I reply, taking another puff.
“Scared?” she taunts.
“Nope.”
“Then I dare you to run to the lake and back.”
I furrow my brows and look over at her. “And that’ll do…”
“The cops are out there,” she reports.
“I haven’t heard anything in a minute, we can probably head back soon.”
“Alright, chicken.” She leans back along the wall and crosses her arms along her chest, still challenging me with her eyes.
I roll mine. “Fine.” I hand her my cigarette and begin to stand, hunched over because this cove was made for five-year-olds. I do her stupid dare and come back, situating myself back into the sand.
“I think the cops are—” She brings my cigarette to her rosebud lips and inhales.
Holy. Fuck.
I watch her chest rise, sucking in the chemicals that get me to calm my shit. Then she starts in a fit of coughs, and I laugh.
Picking the fag out of her fingers, I watch her pound her fist into her chest. “You alright, hot shot?” I ask her in amusement.
She nods, still smacking herself in the chest. “I’m fine. We can go back.”
I tsk. “What about your dare?”
“Well, hurry up before I die,” she replies, clearing her throat.
“I dare you to tell me the truth.” Her hand stops, extending her fingers across her chest.
“Okay,” she agrees.
“What’s off limits?”
“You’re...asking me?” She looks at me with disbelief, but I’m going to show her a little bit of me. The real one who isn’t so enamored with pussy like everyone makes me out to be.
“Yep.”
She tucks her chin in her sweatshirt and pulls it out. “Go for it then, Hayes.”
Ten years ago
He’s going to ask me if I wanted to kiss him over Gavin that night. Or something to that effect. Thing is, I’m tired of denying it.
And I hate myself for it.
I hold my breath, waiting for him to ask. His eyes scan my face, looking to see if I’m going to put the same mask on that I’ve been wearing for weeks. It protects and shields me, making me feel strong around Colson’s bravado. I’m no match for him without it. I’d thaw at his touch, implode in his arms, and I’d develop amnesia to things he’s done to me.
What I’ve done to him.
He bites the inside of his lower lip and backs away from me slowly. “Are you happy with him?”
I stare at him, waiting for a glower or for his nose to wrinkle in disgust.
Nothing.
He looks at me with hope and curiosity. A pure need to know the answer that feels like he’s spent a lot of time searching for.
And the truth is more dangerous than what I’m sure he sees.
I’m drifting from Gavin, and he’s noticing. I’m tired of the parties and the gossip. I’m sick of girls whispering around me about how they thought they saw him kissing another girl. And when I approach him mildly about it, he rolls his eyes and tells me that Colson is the reason most of the girls in school have been treating me like I’m the plague. The only ones who treat me decently are my team.
Other than that, I’m on my own.
Gavin still treats me well, he walks me to class, kisses me without worrying about who’s around, takes me out on dates, and tells me how beautiful I am.
But it feels artificial.
With Logan, I wanted a boyfriend who would stick up for me, who was adventurous but kind. Gavin is most of those things for me except the adventure tends to include a few kegs and red cups.
I feel Colson’s gaze on me, patiently waiting for my answer. I don’t owe him anything, but I want to tell someone. Taylor would just tell me that she told me so, Colson would probably do the same. But something in his sincerity begs me to bare my soul. Regardless of what happens with Gavin and I, it wouldn’t change things between Colson and me.
“Sometimes,” I finally say. It’s all that can leave my mouth without spilling all my truths at his feet. Without giving him more ammo that he might want to use against me one day.
One word was enough.
His whole demeanor is lifeless, and I can’t tell if he’s mad or relieved. Either way, it honestly doesn’t matter, does it?
He throws his head toward the entrance of the enclosed den. “We should be able to go back now.” I nod my head twice, and he starts out, waiting for me outside to walk with him.
We’re silent on the way back, both of us brooding over my single word. The one that could change the whole dynamic of what we both want.
He wants me free of his best friend.
And I want to have a drama-less school year. But honestly, who am I kidding, it’s all too late for that now.
We get back to the cabin, where everyone is dispersed all over the place and riled up from the small raid. My eyes search carelessly around for Gavin, who’s probably stumbling around here somewhere.
“I’m going to go check the treehouse he hides in,” Colson whispers in my ear, caressing my skin with his breath. “You stay around here.” He doesn’t wait for me to agree but strides toward a small path outlined by trees and disappears.
“There you are,” Taylor chimes behind me. “God, I was looking all over for you.” I turn around, and she gives me a hug. “You good?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Where did yo
u go?”
“I...Colson and I hid in this little sand cave down the beach,” I tell her. Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t scowl at me.
“Okay...well, don’t get upset,” she says, holding onto my forearms. “But they took Gavin.”
“What?” I whip around to look for him in the crowd, but Taylor turns me back around again.
“He’s a fucking idiot, he swung at a cop.”
“Why would he…” I shake my head.
Because he was freaking drunk.
I rub my forehead with my fingers, not knowing what to do. “Did they say where they were taking him or—”
“Hopefully, somewhere some macho guy can beat his ass,” Taylor mutters. “If he doesn’t watch his shit, he’s going to serve jail time.” My mouth drops.
The scouts for baseball come in two or three weeks.
Gavin’s been talking about it for days. They’re trying to nab the Louisiana State or University of Miami scout for a scholarship. And if he serves time, he’d miss school, and then his grades would slip. He might not get picked up with Colson and…
Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I look away from Taylor. It’s not my fault that Gavin is a moron when it comes to having responsibilities, but somehow, I feel like it is.
“Don’t cry,” Taylor soothes, pulling me in for another hug. “We’ll get him out.” I feel a tear hit my cheek, and I clench my eyes closed.
I knew how important getting out of Freemont was for Colson. Gavin didn’t seem to give two figs, he just wanted to go with Colson somewhere. I know about his mom leaving and his dad being an alcoholic, but that’s all I know, and I didn’t push.
But Colson’s reasons were clear as day, he hated Freemont and wanted free of the memories that surrounded him here, reminding him of his father who died. Taylor told me he turned into more of an asshole after that, so it wasn’t hard to put two and two together.
An invisible pull tugs at my eyelids, and I open them, glazed over in tears. Colson is standing at the edge of the woods, gaping at me in a soft frown. He strides toward me, not breaking his gaze, and I loosen my grip on Taylor.
“Colson,” I call out in a broken sob. “I’m so sor—”
“What happened?” he breaks out, looking between Taylor and I.
“Five-Os took him,” Taylor drones, unempathic. “The dumbass swung on one of them.”
“Drunk fucker,” Colson mutters. “Did he hit one?”
Taylor shakes her head. “Too drunk.”
“Did they leave any information on where we can pick him up?”
She points behind him. “Benny boy has it.” He peers over his shoulder to see Ben talking to a few guys and directing them to do something then turns back to us.
“Just stay here for a minute,” he issues then points at me. “And grab her something to drink.” Taylor doesn’t hesitate and cups my elbow, walking me over to one of the coolers that are filled with water bottles and cans of pop.
“Drink a little something,” she soothes, twisting off the cap of a water bottle. She hands it over, and I take a sip of the cold liquid, watching Colson talk to Ben over her shoulder.
Colson is going to go back to hating me.
The break from us pranking each other was nice. It was more than nice, he spoke to me like I wasn’t the dirt underneath his shoes or a nuisance to his existence. He actually laughed around me and smiled. The lines in his forehead never appeared from a glower. And I began to like knowing this side of Colson.
But now, if we can’t bail Gavin out, his index finger is going to be pointed right back at me.
Ben and Colson begin to stride toward the front of the cabin, and my feet immediately bolt in their direction.
“Colson,” I bellow. He stops but doesn’t turn around. His temperament changed from our hiding spot in the sand, and I know it’s because of what I said. But I could’ve lied and just said “yes” to keep him further away. However, I wanted to be honest with someone.
Plus, he doesn’t have any right to be upset.
I trip over a rut surfaced from the ground but right myself. “Where are you going? Are you going to get Gavin?”
“Yeah,” Ben replies, propping his arm on the hood of Colson’s truck.
“Can I come?” Ben peers over at Colson, who hasn’t acknowledged me yet, and it irritates me.
How quickly he can change right into an asshole again.
“Well, I—” Ben stumbles on his words, getting a scowl from his friend.
“Please.” I step closer. “Colson.” He shifts his weight and sluggishly turns around. His gaze locks onto mine, and his features are stiff. His brows are downward in annoyance, his lips are set in a hard line, not the ones that smiled and teased moments ago.
When we were alone and no one could chastise us. And now, everything was the same again.
“Hop in the front seat,” Colson rumbles. He opens his door, and I immediately do what I’m told, climbing onto the bench seat of his standard cab Chevy truck. Ben and Colson sit on either side of me, and I clasp my hands together to keep my nerves down.
I’ve never been to a jail before, and I’m getting a lot of “firsts” in this small town. Never have I had a bunch of girls bully me, I’ve never been called to the principal’s office. I’ve never kissed a guy in front of a group of people or been sent to detention.
The town of Freemont was homey on the outside with a bunch of restless teenagers in the inside of it, making it so much more interesting.
We take off down a dark road, the radio is on low with Story of the Year’s “And the Hero Will Drown” sauntering through the speakers. Ben tries to comfort me with “it’s going to be fine” and “he’s done this before” when all I want to do is blurt out that I’m more worried about Colson going off to college without his best friend. That I wish…
That I wished what? That I would’ve listened?
I shake off those thoughts that are turning into regrets in my head. Gavin might be your typical, popular party boy, but he was nice to me. He didn’t keep us a secret. I was a no one in this town, and he wasn't prejudice to that.
And he didn’t spread rumors about me like the one next to me.
When we arrive at the small jailhouse, I slide out of Colson’s truck on Ben’s side and practically run inside. A heavyset officer greets me when I open the dense door, sitting behind an old desk looking bored as he reads a newspaper and sips on a cup of coffee.
“Excuse me, sir,” I voice. “I’m here to pick up my boyfriend. He should’ve just arrived a little while ago. Dark hair, tall, husky build, he has a mole on—” The officer drops his paper and holds up his hand, looking up at me for the first time.
“Slow down, Miss. What did you say you needed?”
I frown. “My boyfriend, he just arrived here not too long ago. We’re here to—”
“What’s he here for?” He perks a brow and taps a pen against the desk, clearly agitated that I’m bothering him.
“Umm...” I shift my weight to my right foot. “Well, he actually—” Colson brushes his arm along my ribs and stands next to me, leaning his forearms on the high top of the desk.
“Gavin Sheston,” Colson asserts. “He’s here, we need him out.”
The cop glances down at his clipboard and slowly studies it before peering up at us again. “Don’t have a Gavin Shine—whatever his last name is.”
Ben steps up on the other side of me. “One of your officers gave me this address. He’s probably been here for about thirty minutes.”
“Then he might not of been—”
“Can you go look?” Colson snaps. “We don’t expect you to know if he’s here with you just sitting around.” The cop narrows his bushy eyebrows, and my heart drops into my stomach.
God, if he doesn’t just shut his stupid mouth, he’ll be the next one we’ll be getting out of jail.
“What he means to say,” I spout speedily and peek at his name tag. “Officer Hogan is that we need to get him home and wo
uld like to as soon as possible, please.” His nostrils flare at Colson as he inhales a calm breath then looks back at me.
“Take a seat, I’ll be back in a moment.” He pulls out a pair of keys and disappears behind a locked door when Ben and Colson take a seat. But I’m too busy making tread marks in the tiled floors to settle down.
“Bases,” Colson gripes. “Come sit down. This asshole moves like a sloth, it’s going to be awhile.” I look over at him, his face is soft now, and he pats the seat next to him.
I give another glance toward the door that Officer Hogan vanished behind and begin to walk toward the empty chair beside Ben. But he moves to that empty seat and opens the one between himself and Colson, evading my glance. Colson arches a brow at me, knowing that I was going to dodge his offer.
Taking a seat, I keep my legs together between the two of them, while they lean back and try to get comfortable.
“How much do you think this is going to cost us?” Ben grumbles to Colson, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees.
“Who the fuck knows,” he replies. “This town probably needs a lot of shit, so probably an arm, leg, and a newborn child.”
“This dumbass is lucky I just got paid,” Ben puts forth. “Or he’d be sitting here for awhile.”
“I have money,” I pipe in. Both of them turn their attention to me.
“You’re not using any of your money,” Colson declares, letting out a heavy sigh.
“Why?” I draw my brows together. “I have some and—”
“You got fired from your job,” he deadpans.
Ben scoffs next to me. “Yeah, because of your dumbass.” My eyes broaden as I fix my attention to his friend.
I’ve heard Gavin and Colson go at it, but Ben is the mellow one of the three. He seems to be the rational think-long-term sorta guy.
Colson leans over my lap to Ben and presses his leg to mine, boring his eyes into him. “How about you shut the fuck up and not worry about it.”
Ben slowly turns his head toward Colson. “I’m all sorts of worried about it, man.” Each of my hands touches one of their chests, and I push them back before they fight it out in the middle of a police lobby.