by Isla Drake
I hear a car door close outside and wonder if maybe Wyatt or Van decided to bring my truck home for me. They know how much I had to drink. Hell, they were both there to witness my downfall. They probably think I'm still hungover. Hell, maybe I am. At the quiet knock on the door, I force myself to sit up.
"Hang on," I call, making my way to the front door. I pull it open, expecting to see one of my brothers standing there. Instead, it's Hannah.
She looks nervous, unable to meet my gaze for longer than a second at a time. My heart drops into my stomach and I feel a deep pool of dread spread through me. I'm not ready to hear her say the words that will end things between us. I need more time to get used to the idea of being without her. Hell, I’ve only just gotten used to being with her.
"Can I come in?" she says, giving me the barest hint of a smile. It doesn't reach her eyes, I notice.
I step back, holding the door open. I smooth a hand down my rumpled shirt and run my fingers through my hair. It’s probably sticking up all over from my time wallowing in self-pity on the couch. Hannah walks past me and her perfume hits me like a punch in the gut. I close my eyes briefly, keeping my back to her while I pull myself together. When I turn to face her, I school my features into something more neutral. Hannah is standing on the other side of the room, her hands clasped nervously in front of her. She’s looking everywhere but at me, which just serves to confirm my theory that she’s here to break things off.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying to sound casual.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you last night,” she says. “I wanted to. But something came up.”
I tamp down the anger that threatens to surge forward. Something came up? Something, meaning her ex-husband. Was she even planning to tell me the truth?
“Oh?” I ask. “Anything important?”
“Important?” she repeats the word as though examining its meaning. She shakes her head slowly. “No. I wouldn’t say important. Interesting, maybe.”
I wait, not wanting to interrupt. She’s studying her hands, clenching and unclenching her fingers. After several seconds of silence that borders on awkward, Hannah blows out a breath and looks up to meet my gaze. There’s something in her eyes that seems resigned. I open my mouth to speak. I don’t know what I’m going to say. I just want to stop her from saying the words that will end what we have. But she speaks before I get the chance.
“I had dinner with my ex-husband last night,” she says in a rush. “Paul. He called me out of the blue on Friday and asked if we could meet for dinner. He wanted to talk. I panicked. I thought he’d come to try and take Liam or fight for shared custody or something. I don’t know what I thought. I was just scared. So, I went. I needed to know what I was up against. But it turns out he was just looking for some kind of forgiveness from me to temper his own guilt.” She rolls her eyes and waves a dismissive hand. “He never once even asked about Liam. Can you believe that?” I see a brightness in her eyes that might signal tears, but she sucks in a breath and straightens her shoulders. “He’s an idiot.”
I can think of a few other choice words to call her piece of shit ex, but I keep quiet and let her speak.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to be a big thing,” Hannah says. “Truth be told, I didn’t want it to be happening at all. So, I lied to you and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I know we said honesty, no matter what. I broke that promise and I feel horrible about it. But I’m telling you now because I don’t want there to be secrets between us. I hope you can forgive me.”
I’m struggling to comprehend everything she just said. The words had spilled out of her so fast that my brain is having trouble keeping up.
Hannah goes on, speaking slower this time. “In the interest of honesty, I have to tell you something else. Finn, I don’t know where you are with all this. This thing between you and me, I mean. But I’m all in. I love you. I think I have for a long time. I was just stubborn or too scared to analyze it. I’m not telling you this to pressure you or because I expect you to say it back. I just needed you to know. I love you. I’m in love with you.” She pauses to take a breath before going on.
“Last night I sat across from a man I used to think I loved. A man that I made vows to. Someone who promised to love me forever, once upon a time. Back when forever was something I still believed in. And all I could think was, ‘I miss Finn. I wish he was here.’”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears. She blinks and smiles widely. “I just needed you to know,” she says a second time. She gives a little shrug. “That’s all.”
The distance between us is suddenly too much for me to bear. I cross the room in two quick strides and pull her into my arms. My mouth takes hers in a rough kiss. Hannah’s intensity matches mine as it always does. The kiss gentles as it goes on, settling into something that’s somehow more intense in its deliberateness. My mind is reeling with all the things I want to say but can’t. I don’t have the words to tell her; not in this moment. But I can show her.
“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she whispers as I mouth trails down her neck. “I hated lying to you.”
“Shh,” I say. “It’s not important.”
“Wait,” she says, leaning back so she can look at me. “You’re not mad?”
“I was,” I say, deciding honesty is best. “When I saw the texts on your laptop Friday night.” I see the moment she realizes what I’m saying.
“I was mad and hurt and confused,” I admit. “I should have just asked you about it. I wasn’t snooping. I need you to know that. I wasn’t searching through your computer. I promise. It just popped up on the screen.”
Hannah shakes her head. “No, I know,” she says. “I’m sorry, Finn. I hate that I put you through that. I should have talked to you right away.”
“Hannah, stop. It doesn’t matter now.”
She looks at me for a long moment as if trying to read my expression. What she sees must satisfy her because she gives me a brilliant smile and presses her lips to mine.
We take our time undressing. The normal frenzy of our lovemaking isn’t there this time. There’s still an urgency and a hunger that I suspect will never go away. When we come together this time though, it’s as if we both understand that there’s no need to rush. We can take our time because we have all the time in the world together. I’m patient as I worship her body, touching, tasting, taking her. When I feel Hannah’s tight channel clench me tightly as she comes, I keep my eyes on hers. Though she doesn’t say anything, I swear I can almost hear her telling me she loves me.
Chapter Thirty-two
Finn
The afternoon sunlight streams in through the windows, casting soft shadows on the bed. Hannah is draped across me, her head tucked under my chin. I think there’s no other place I’d rather be than right here, holding this woman in my arms. When I think about the way she and Liam came into my life, I know how lucky I am to have them. Thinking of Liam makes me wonder who’s keeping him while Hannah is here with me.
“Where’s Liam?” I ask, my hand tracing lazy circles down Hannah’s bare shoulder with one finger. I feel her entire body stiffen and she sits up looking around wildly. I’d laugh if she didn’t seem so freaked out.
“Shit! What time is it?”
I squint at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s almost 4. Why?”
Hannah scrambles from the bed, heedless of her nudity and starts searching for her clothes. “Liam’s at a friend’s house for a birthday party. I’m supposed to pick him up at 4. Shit, shit, shit.”
I watch her for a few seconds, amused by her scrambling around and a little turned on by the sight of her naked ass as she bends over to scoop up her bra. Her hair is a riot of honey curls around her shoulders. She’s beautiful. I remember all over again that she told me she loves me, and I smile.
“Damn, you’re sexy when you’re frazzled,” I say. She shoots me a narrow-eyed gaze, but I can see the corners of her lips trying to turn up into a smile. I sit up.
>
“Calm down,” I say, climbing out of bed. “I’m sure this kid’s mom isn’t going to toss Liam out on the streets if you’re not there by 4, right?”
She lets out a breath. “Right.”
“So, get dressed and we’ll go get him.”
She smiles as she pulls her jeans up. “You’re coming with me?”
I walk naked over to her. “I think you’re stuck with me,” I say, cupping her cheek. “That okay?”
“More than okay.” She leans up on her toes and presses her lips to mine. She’s only half-dressed and I’m not dressed at all. I feel myself begin to harden against the soft skin of her bare belly. She pulls away and smacks me on the ass.
“Cover that thing up or we’ll never leave.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I laugh as I go search for my clothes.
We’re only a few minutes late to pick up Liam. We’re also not the only ones running late, which I think makes Hannah feel a little better. When Liam sees Hannah, he grins and runs over. He notices me a second later and smiles. I hold out my hand so we can execute the complicated handshake he came up with last week. When it goes smoothly, he lets out a little boy giggle that seems to burrow its way into my chest. I ruffle his hair affectionately. I think of Hannah telling me that Paul hadn’t asked anything about Liam, and it fills me with anger. I want to find him and beat him senseless. Doesn’t he know what he’s missing?
“Finn, are we grilling burgers tonight?” he asks me, full of excitement.
I remember the dinner we’d planned to have the night before. It had been cancelled because Hannah had met Paul for dinner instead. I see her wince and I know she’s feeling guilty. I hate seeing that look in her eyes. I smile down at Liam and attempt to fix things.
“We can’t do it tonight, kiddo,” I say. “We’ve got Sunday dinner at Mack’s, remember? But tomorrow night is definitely burger night, okay?”
“Oh yeah! It’s Sunday!” Finn’s excitement over dinner with the Kings is obvious. “Claire’s gonna show me her guitar tonight.” I smile as Liam practically bounces to the car. Hannah and I follow a little slower.
“I think he loves you,” she says, wrapping an arm around my waist.
“I think he loves my sister.”
She laughs. “Oh, he definitely loves her.”
Chapter Thirty-three
Finn
Dinner with my family is noisy as ever. Claire immediately steals Liam, seating him beside her at the table. Hannah pretends to be hurt, but I can see how much it pleases her that Liam is already practically part of the family. After dinner, Claire pulls out her guitar, as promised. My brothers and I clear the table while she shows Liam how to hold the instrument. It’s too big for him, but he holds it carefully seeming to understand that it’s important to Claire. It’s clear he wants to do well for her.
Hannah tries to help us clean, but I insist she go join Liam and Claire. I can tell she wants to argue with me, but she eventually gives in at Van and Wyatt’s insistence. I glance at the three of them from time to time, happy to watch them as they talk and laugh and strum the instrument.
“Things seem to have worked out okay.”
Ronan’s voice startles me out of my thoughts. I turn to look at him. He’s wearing one of his rare smiles as he watches Claire, Liam and Hannah.
“Yeah,” I say. “Things are good.”
Ronan nods. “That’s good. Have you told her yet?”
“Told her what?” I ask, following his gaze over to Hannah.
“That you’re in love with her.” Ronan turns back to meet my gaze and raises a brow in challenge.
I smile and shake my head and go back to stacking plates. Ronan has always been good at reading people and this time is no different. I glance around the restaurant, empty but for seven people. I marvel at how full of life the old building is, even with so few people. Wyatt and Van are grinning and talking as they wipe down the table where we ate. Ronan begins silently shifting tables and chairs around back to their regular arrangement. He notices me watching him and glances at Hannah. He taps his watch and looks at me expectantly. I roll my eyes and nod. Because he’s right, of course. I’m in love with Hannah. I’d have to be crazy not to be. I can’t wait to tell her and watch her smile light up her face. I can’t wait to plan our future together. I can’t wait for a million firsts with Hannah and Liam.
We finish the cleanup and I walk over to join the others, standing next to Hannah where she sits watching Liam. He grins up at me from behind the too-big guitar and I can see the nerves in his eyes along with the excitement. He wants to make me proud. My heart catches in my throat and I smile broadly at him as he strums the strings.
“Sounds great, kiddo,” I say.
His grin spreads and he turns an intensely focused gaze back to where his tiny fingers grip the neck of the guitar. He’s all concentration and enthusiasm and it’s amazing to watch.
Hannah reaches out and takes my hand in hers, leaning against my side. My brothers come join us, everyone watching Liam strum the guitar in a tuneless rhythm. Claire starts to peck away at the piano. The two instruments combine to make something that still isn’t exactly music. I have the thought that this might be the best Sunday family dinner I’ve ever had.
Chapter Thirty-four
Hannah
Once Liam is in bed asleep, I go about preparing for the next morning. I move around the kitchen making sure I have everything for Liam’s lunch. Finn sits at the counter, seeming content to watch me. I hum as I work, moving barefoot around the kitchen. I fill the coffee maker and set the timer for the morning.
“Hannah?” Finn’s voice is soft, but it cuts through my humming.
“Hmm?” I grab a cloth and begin to wipe down the small table.
“I think we need to talk.” My hand stills and I turn to face him. Those words are rarely followed by anything good. His face is serious as he looks at me. I abandon the cloth on the table and give him my full attention. It takes him several seconds to speak. When he does, his words are clear and concise.
"You're fired."
"What?"
Finn takes a deep breath but doesn't look away from my face. "I've thought a lot about this," he says, "And I don't want you to manage the Jester anymore."
His words are a gut punch. The air leaves me in a rush, and I drop into the empty chair behind me. The Jester has been my home for the past 7 years. Even after Liam and I moved out of the little garden cottage, it still felt like home. I belong there. The idea of not driving down the oak-lined driveway every day and seeing the big house as I crest the hill is almost unthinkable. What is Finn saying? After my confession earlier, I’m even more confused. I don't know what emotion is strongest. I'm shocked, confused, hurt, speechless. It takes me a moment to realize he's still speaking. And that he’s smiling.
"A long time ago, you told me that you were grateful for everything I did to help you," he says. "That I'm a good man and that I was just being kind. Sure. That was part of it, I guess. But the truth is that I was being selfish. I wanted to keep you nearby. Working alongside me. I didn’t want to give you up. I figured if I gave you enough to do that you'd stay. Because you love a challenge and you love helping people. And you love The Jester. So, I just kept giving you more responsibilities. And you kept meeting every single challenge. But it's not fair to you.
"You shouldn't be stuck in that job when you can do so much more. You've worked for me for over 7 years. And you've been amazing. You've handled everything I've ever thrown at you. But I think it's time for you to move on to something else. Watching you these past few weeks, I realize how selfish I've been. You deserve more than managing someone else's business. I can tell you want more, even if you won't admit it. I've seen you manage everything from a 200-guest wedding to a 4-guest tea party. And you make every single person feel like it's their special day, regardless of how important the event is. That's where you shine. You’re amazing. You shouldn't be stuck in that office. You've got so much more to
offer."
I'm shocked, but it's an idea I've considered in the past. I love to plan events and I'm good at it. Besides, I've been doing it for years in an unofficial capacity. The more I think about it, the more I love the idea. My mind races over a dozen different reasons it can’t work or might fail. But I can’t deny that one fact shines brightest in my thoughts. I want this.
"Besides," Finn says, interrupting my racing thoughts. "I have no intention of giving you up. You belong with me. And you're the one who didn't want people to think you were sleeping with your boss."
"So, you're firing me instead?"
He shoots me that lopsided grin that never fails to make my stomach flip-flop. I’ve seen every inch of this man naked and his smile still makes me giddy. He shrugs. "All relationships have issues."
I suppress a smile of my own and cock one eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"
Finn's face turns serious again. "Hannah, I love you. I'd happily live the rest of my life with you managing the Jester if I thought that was where you belonged. But you can do more. You deserve more. I've seen how happy you are coordinating weddings and parties. You light up. I know you love it."
My mind is reeling. Did he just say he loves me?
"Back up," I whisper, heart racing. "What was that first part?"
Finn stands and crosses the room to where I’m sitting, his eyes never leaving mine.
"I said I love you, Hannah," he says. "I'm in love with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I’m a little slow sometimes.” He smiles again. “I also love that boy sleeping down the hall. He’s an amazing kid. When I think about my future and my life, I can’t picture it without you two in it. Whatever you decide to do, none of that will change.”
My heart feels like it might jump out of my chest. I suck in a deep breath and smile at this amazing man who not only loves me, but who loves my son and wants to be there for both of us. It’s more than I ever thought I’d have. The emotion threatens to swamp me, so I try to inject a teasing tone into my words.