Waiting on Life

by Parker Williams

  “Smoked jalapeño,” Toby corrected me. “Most of our food tends to be on the spicy side. It gets the customers to buy more alcohol.”

  “How devious,” I said, grinning at him.

  He shrugged one shoulder. “I’d like to think I made some good changes. The owner seems happy with the books, because I’ve had us in the black the last four years. It’s one of the reasons he’s taken a hands-off approach. He likes what I’ve done, and as long as I don’t screw it up, he’s mostly given me free rein to do what I think is best.”

  How awesome was that? To have someone trust you that much, they’re willing to put their business in your hands?

  “Okay, finish eating. After you’re done, we’ll go up front and you can meet everyone else.”

  As eager as I was to start this job, I now had another plan in mind: to get Toby to trust me. I wanted to be there for him to talk to, to unload on—and not necessarily in the fun way—and to commiserate with.

  He might not realize it yet, but Toby had become my new project.

  Chapter Five

  Toby

  Kyle was true to his word about how hard he was willing to work. He’d been at No Angels for nearly two weeks now, and I don’t think he ever stopped moving. Whether it was hauling more ice to the bar or washing glasses, Kyle was constantly in motion. I knew I hadn’t let him on the floor yet because I didn’t want him scared off, but I had to trust him at some point.

  “Scott, did you need anything else?”

  Scott peered up at Kyle, and a slow smile showed on his face. It was the first one I’d seen since Donnie had been kicked to the curb. “No, but thank you for asking.” He put my drink order on top of the bar. “Toby, your stuff is reay.”

  I went to the bar and picked up my tray. I also grabbed a stack of bar napkins for my table, who seemed to dribble half their drinks on the floor.

  “Did you want me to clean that up?” Kyle asked.

  He’d been paying attention. That was a good sign. “No, I got it.” I glanced at the clock we had over the door. “It’s pretty slow, so you can go ahead and punch out. You did good today.”

  His chest puffed up a bit. “I had fun. Thank you.” He turned to Scott. “Today was great. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.”

  “Me too. You did ,” Scott replied absently as he pulled two bottles from the rack and set about making another round of drinks.

  “Hey, Kyle?”

  He turned to face me, his smile bright and genuine. “Yes?”

  “Tomorrow how do you feel about working the floor?”

  His eyes widened. “Really?”

  “Scott’s right. You did good, and I think it’s time you get out and meet the people.”

  Though with Kyle having survived almost a whole month, he’d already gotten to see the patrons at their best. Arguments over pool, a disagreement about the Space Invaders game, threats, and one brandished knife, which led to me kicking the guy out of the bar with a reminder of the rules and telling he was no longer allowed to return.

  Yet through it all, Kyle hadn’t run screaming. In fact, he’d stood his ground pretty well, all things considered. I hated the fact that I was impressed, because it made me seem like I thought he was too weak to do the job. And maybe I had, I don’t know. Kyle was making me face all kinds of things I thought were true, but showing me how wrong they were. He reminded me of my sister in that way. She never failed to take me to task if I said something she told me was homophobic. Tammy might be a foot shorter than me and weighed about a hundred pounds less, but in many instances, she had balls bigger than me.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Kyle chirped before he rushed out the door, a wide smile on his face.

  As I watched him stride away, the sway of his hips, the gentle curves of his body, I was struck again by Kyle’s beauty. I couldn’t understand his effect on me. I could try to pretend he was a woman, but despite his soft voice and his gentle ways, there was no way I could ever mistake him for anything other than a man. It confused the hell out of me, and I had to stop thinking about it because that was the way madness lay.

  I turned to Scott. “You really think he’s got the stuff to handle it here?”

  Part of me wanted him to say no, and I didn’t understand why.

  He looked up. “Sure. Why? Don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I think he’ll do fine.”

  And I did too, but that wasn’t the problem. I was desperate for a server, and if nothing else, Kyle provided that. But the thought of Kyle dealing with these guys? Okay, I’m going to come right out and say it, and I know it’s going to come across as me being an asshole, but I can’t help it. Yes, Cary and Scott were gay, but they could also pass as straight. I mean, I know the customers were aware they were gay, but they’d never had anyone as… open about it. What would they do or say? It was one thing when Kyle was doing busy work for the bar, but another entirely for him to be at their tables taking their orders. My stomach clenched at the thought that Kyle would be hurt, physically or emotionally. Not that I cared for any particular reason, of course. The fact that he lived across from me made it awkward already. If things went south here, how bad would it be at home?

  Then again, the nice thing about having Kyle here was even though I was still putting in way too many hours, I got caught up with the paperwork, the orders, and everything else I needed to get done on a nightly basis. It also meant I was able to get out of work by three in the morning and wouldn’t have to haul my ass back until eight. Waldo got fed on time, I was able to sleep an extra hour or so, and the fact that I time go grab something to eat at the bar was a bonus.

  The rest of the night passed in a blur. As much as I wanted to get Kyle out of my mind, he stayed lodged there, front and center. It was as though he’d claimed a little corner for himself, and I couldn’t evict him.

  “Toby?”

  Scott’s voice startled me. “What’s up?”

  “These drinks are ready. Did you want me to take them?”

  I shook my head to clear it. “Nah, I’m good. Thank you.”

  The tray was loaded with six plates of appetizers and eight bottles of beer. I hefted it up to my shoulder and made my way through the group that clustered right in the middle of the fucking floor.

  “Get out of the way, assholes,” I shouted.

  They parted like the Red Sea. I got to the table and set the plates down one by one. One of the regulars, already deep into his cups, stared up at me.

  “Hey, Toby, the new guy seems a little….” The man held out a limp wrist and waggled it. “You know.”

  Blood pounded in my ears at the way he was being disrespectful to Kyle. “He’s going to be your fucking server starting tomorrow, so if you have a problem with it, you know where the door’s at.”

  “Nah, no problem.” He smacked his buddy in the chest and leered. “He’s pretty, don’t you think? Those lips, I swear. My wife doesn’t have those.”

  Heat rose in my face at how they were talking about Kyle. “You leave him alone. You talk to him, you act like a decent human being.” I dropped the tray on the table and turned to face the crowd. “Listen up, all of you. Kyle is going to be working here as a server. You treat him like you do the other guys, or I swear by God, I’ll kick your asses myself.”

  “Sounds like Toby has a crush,” whispered one of the guys at the table.

  I spun on my heel and leveled a gaze at the asshole. “I don’t have a crush. I’ve been working eighteen hours a day, for the last five weeks. Before that, I was pulling twelve. I don’t have the time or the desire to put up with shit from assholes like you. Kyle is going to be our server. He’s going to be here so I can take a day off. You make him uncomfortable or, worse, quit, I will can your asses so fast, you won’t know what hit you.”

  “Yup, total crush,” the guy said, only this time with a laugh that didn’t sound at all genuine.

  I bit my cheek to keep from blowing up. Only one more night, and then I’d be able t
o take some time off. I just had to make it through until tomorrow.

  Kyle

  Pete was lounging on the couch with a beer and a bag of chips when I walked in. I closed the door with a loud thump and slumped against it.

  “Oh oh. I haven’t seen you look that bummed since… wait. The last time I saw that expression, you found out Frank Hoffman was straight.”

  That fucker. “You mean, right before he punched me, blackened my eyes, and fucked up my perfect nose?”

  It had been more than that, but I’d never told Pete. It was too late to change the past, and dwelling on it did no good. Frank let me blow him a couple times. I was an idiot, because in my head, I worked it up to be something more than it was. When I saw him out one day, me alone and him with a group of friends, I foolishly went and said hi. He grabbed my arm and dragged me outside of the bar, where he shoved me against the brick wall and told me if I ever talked to him again, he’d beat the shit out of me. Then he proceeded to give me a demonstration. The funny thing? After my beating, he called and asked if I wanted to get together. I laughed and said no fucking way. That wasn’t the last time I saw him, though. After, I told that son of a bitch I’d given his name to the cops and to leave me the hell alone. He scoffed and said I didn’t have the balls to turn him in.

  We’ll see if the five to ten he was serving convinced him otherwise.

  “Lemme guess. Toby.”

  With a sigh, I shuffled over to the couch, grabbed Pete’s beer, and drained the remainder in one go. “Yup, he’s straight.” I belched. “Cute but unattainable. It’s okay, though. I’m going to focus on the job and put him out of my mind.”

  Pete got up, went to the refrigerator, and pulled out two more beers. He came back to where I sat and handed me one. “It’s not like you to give up.”

  I turned and scowled at him. “Did I mention my nose?”

  “Your nose was fine, princess. No surgery was needed, just a few ice packs until the swelling went down. And remember, you learned a valuable lesson from the experience.”

  If Pete knew what happened after, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Hopefully, he would never know. “Which is my point. Don’t mess around with straight men. It never ends well. This isn’t a fairy tale, where Toby would pledge undying love to me and whisk me off to… well, his idea of a castle, and we’d live happily ever after.” I swallowed hard, because as much as there was truth behind my next words, I still hated it. “I like him. I mean, really like him. I’d rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life at all. He’s sweet, funny, adores his cat, and he’s good at what he does. If I have to choose between being his friend or having him out of my life, there’s not really a choice there, you know?”

  Pete shifted on the couch, putting one knee on it as he faced me. “So you’re telling me that if he whipped his dick out, you wouldn’t drop to your knees?”

  I squinted at Pete. “That’s hardly a fair question. I mean, physically he’s as near perfection as anyone I’ve ever met. And he’s big and burly and….” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I want to say I wouldn’t, but I know I’m a slut. That’s what you were getting at, right?”

  He reached out and took my hand. “No, sweetie, that’s not what I was getting at at all. The fact that you’re saying these things shows you’re hardly a slut. Besides, I hate that word. Sex isn’t a dirty thing that has limits on it. It’s an enjoyable act for two—or more—people to engage in. Even if you were to do it every day of your life, with a hundred different people, that’s no one’s business but yours. Well, and the hundred other men. Stop putting yourself down. I think you’ve had more than enough people do that already.” He tugged me in and wrapped his arms around me. He was wearing something spicy and woodsy, and it suited him. I melted into his arms, because it felt good to be held.

  “I need friends, Pete. People like Toby, who don’t talk down to me like I’m stupid or treat me like my being fabulous somehow makes me less of a man.”

  “Even in your pumps and ball gown, you’ll never be less of a man, Cinderella.”

  We sat there for a while, him holding me. Such a simple act, but it had such a profound effect on me. It made Pete feel better too, when I held him. Or if we cuddled up under a blanket together to watch a movie. I will never understand why people insist holding or snuggling with someone is impossible for friends. Why do we make it that way? We need more hugs, damn it, not more people telling us to be ashamed of our feelings.

  “Pete?”

  “Hm?”

  “You know I love you, right?”

  He kissed my hair. “Of course. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I admit, when we met, I wasn’t sure I could like you. I thought someone who looked like you would sneer at me. You’re classy, elegant, and I’m a schlub.”

  “You so aren’t.”

  He chuckled. “You don’t need to make me feel better about it. I’m actually pretty happy with how I am, and you know why? I’ll tell you. It’s you. You taught me that being pretty was great, but being kind was far more important. I think it’s because of how you were treated that you grew up a better person. I’ve never seen you speak down to anyone, or treat them like they’re less than you. Well, Frank notwithstanding, and he deserved it.” He squeezed me a little tighter. “You’re a genuinely good person, Ky. Anyone who has you as a friend has someone in their corner always. If Toby is lucky enough to have that, then he should count himself blessed.”

  And that was why Pete will always be my best friend. He never hesitated to call me on my crap, but he would bolster me when I was unsure or afraid.

  “What do you think about watching a movie?” he asked. “I’ll make popcorn.”

  Pete let go of me, and I sat up. “I’ll get the comforter. What are you in the mood for tonight?”

  He tilted his head. “I’m thinking Percy Jackson. I wanna see me some fine Logan Lerman.”

  The rest of the night we spent watching Percy defeat monsters of all kinds. We ended up making four bowls of popcorn, slathered in butter and heaped with salt and cheese powder. Okay, fine, I admit it. Pete was watching the movie, but my attention was split between what was happening on the television and waiting to hear Toby in the hallway.

  “For someone who was going to put Toby out of his mind, you sure do seem to be keeping him there.”

  “It’s late and he’s not home yet. What if something happened? And what about Waldo? Who’s going to feed him if Toby doesn’t come home?”

  It was weird. So many things were going through my head, each more horrific than the last.

  “He’s fine, Ky. You know it. He’s working late, just like you said he has been for the last couple weeks.”

  I pulled out my phone and dialed the bar.

  Pete chuckled. “There’s the Kyle I know and love.” He reached out and squeezed my leg. “Let me know if something’s wrong. I’ll be in my room.”

  I tilted my head. “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

  “No, don’t be sorry. He’s your friend, and you worry. I get it.”

  “No Angels, this is Toby.”

  He sounded shattered. Again.

  “Hello? Is someone there?”

  “Hi, Toby.”

  “Kyle? Is something wrong? Are you all right?”

  It sent warmth zipping through me that the first thing Toby asked was if I was okay.

  “I’m fine. I was worried about Waldo.”

  A sigh rolled out of Toby. “He’s plotting my death. I’m going to be leaving here in a few minutes, so I should be there in fifteen. We’ll see if he forgives me if I bring him some chicken.”

  “Did you eat?”

  “Nah, no time. We got busy after you left, so I was running my ass off. I’ll grab breakfast in the morning.”

  That didn’t sit right with me. “How about if I cook something and have it ready for when you get home?”

  “You don’t have to do that. It’s fine. Go back to what you were doing.”


  I let my head fall back onto the couch. “I was watching movies with Pete, but he went to bed.”

  “Which is where you should be. I need you fresh tomorrow afternoon because I’m taking the day off.”

  “Got plans?” I asked, suddenly not wanting him to hang up.

  “Yup. Grand plans. You should start being jealous now, because when you hear how amazing they are, you’ll die.”

  I couldn’t help but grin, because the tone of Toby’s voice told me his plans were anything but exciting.

  “Do tell.”

  “I’m going to sleep in, first of all. Then, when I do wake up, I’m going to catch up on the laundry that hasn’t been done in forever. I’m going to sort them by color, then do probably five loads. Once that’s done, I’ll take them back to my apartment and… I hope you’re sitting down… I’m going to fold them. Now, tell the truth, you’re totally jealous, right?”

  “Positively green,” I replied. Still, even though he wasn’t doing anything truly fun, I was glad he was able to take a day off. Gladder still because I was part of the reason he could.

  “Okay, I’m headed for the car. I don’t have hands-free, so I’m going to let you go.” There was a slight pause. “Thank you for checking on me. I appreciate it.” With those words, he hung up the phone.

  I swear I was walking on cloud nine when I went to my bedroom. I knew I’d be dreaming of Toby tonight because, despite what I’d said to Pete, Toby had wormed his way into my heart.

  Just a little.

  Chapter Six

  Toby

  Man, what a day it had been. My bed was calling me, and I couldn’t resist. Not that I wanted to. Waldo was fed, I’d grabbed a couple slices of toast, and now it was time to crash hard. I crawled under the blanket, then reached over to switch on my alarm. Only then I remembered I didn’t have to. Tomorrow was my day off, and I could sleep the day away if I chose. I snuggled down and got comfortable before I turned off the lamp. A few moments later, Waldo crawled up onto my pillow and proceeded to purr like he always did.