by Bianca D’Arc
“I wouldn’t blame Simon if he never forgave me,” Eileen said honestly. Of course, it wasn’t really Simon’s forgiveness that was upmost in her mind.
“He lost a lot of friends to the contagion. So did Matt. The spec ops community is a small one, all things considered.”
And there it was. Matt was what really mattered. His opinion was the most important one to her. Everybody else could want to burn her at the stake, but if Matt believed in her, it would be enough.
Too bad she doubted he’d ever speak civilly to her again. She’d betrayed his trust by not telling him sooner. She’d had her chances, but she’d let them all pass by. Too afraid to trust him with her heart.
Yet, here she was, heartbroken over him. She hadn’t been able to protect herself from the pain of loving him.
And now she’d lost him.
“Don’t look so sad.” Mariana clasped her shoulder. “He’ll come around.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“So there is something going on between you and the commander,” Donna said from her side. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to pry before.” The younger woman looked anxious.
“It’s okay. I guess we’re the talk of the team since Matt moved me in with him.” She laughed brokenly. “I don’t even know where I’m supposed to sleep anymore.”
Donna put an arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of you if needed, but I think our fearless leader has a strong possessive streak when it comes to you. He had some hard words for John when he mentioned your relationship.”
That was news to her. Eileen was surprised, and a little ray of hope sprang up out of nowhere. She tried not to let that little ray shine too brightly, just in case. It wouldn’t do to get her hopes up only to have them crushed. She had to be cautious with her heart. It couldn’t take much more damage.
The women worked together companionably until they were summoned to an impromptu meeting with the rest of the team. Everyone gathered in the conference room. Matt was the last to appear. When he walked in, the room quieted and all eyes focused on him.
“The techs found some things in the remains.” Matt slapped a file folder on the table in front of him. “My former assistant, Tim, had one of the same trackers in him that Dr. McCormick had implanted without her knowledge in her hip. So did our escaped prisoner. He also had a wallet on him with a number of false I.D.s under a couple of different aliases. With the help of our investigative contacts,” he nodded toward John, “we’ve traced them back to his real identity.”
Matt signaled for the lights to be lowered as he turned on the projector. The former prisoner’s face illuminated against the screen much larger than life.
“Meet Leroy James Mertle. He’s a native of this area. His grandfather owned a farm just outside of town, which he inherited. I’d lay odds that’s where Rodriguez is hiding out. John requested surveillance satellite time, and we have initial surveillance reports that indicate activity inconsistent with typical farming activity. We may have caught a break.”
“Were the eyes in the sky able to spot anyone we know?” Sarah asked from the end of the table as a series of enhanced satellite photos circulated on the screen.
It was her brother who answered. “We haven’t had a whole lot of time to watch the place yet. CIA is streaming images to us whenever the satellite is overhead.” John checked his watch. “The next pass should be in another two minutes.” He fiddled with the laptop he’d set up on the table in front of him, rechecking the wire that led to it from the data projector at the center of the table, facing the screen against the far wall.
“I want us all to watch that next surveillance feed. Combat team, I want you to get the lay of the land and formulate an infiltration plan. Everybody else, keep an eye out for anyone who might look familiar. Rodriguez and his people seem to have an easy time getting on and off this base. Any of you may have seen someone that works for him at one time or another. Eileen, I want you to tell us if you see Rodriguez. You’ve seen him recently and know what he looks like better than any of us.”
She nodded, surprise in her gaze as she met his. He wondered what that meant. Had she thought he wouldn’t talk to her? Was she regretting at all the fact that she’d lied by omission to him? Did she regret keeping her secret—or simply that it was out?
He had so many questions for her and no time to ask them.
That time would come, he promised himself. Later. He’d make time. He didn’t want to let her walk out of his life without knowing the answers to those questions. Those, and a slew of others.
The most important of which was, had any of their time together been real? Had her heart been engaged as completely as his? And could they somehow salvage something between them?
He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer to that last question. On the one hand, his life would be a lot easier without her to complicate it any further. On the other, he wasn’t sure he could live without her now that he’d glimpsed what it could have been like.
He wanted her love. And her trust. He’d thought he’d had the first, but the revelation of the secret she’d been hiding had shattered any illusion that she’d trusted him.
Matt had suspected she was keeping some kind of secret from him, but he hadn’t expected it to be something so important—something directly related to their shared mission. He could have understood if the secret had been of a more personal nature. He would have tried to understand if she’d tried to hide a former lover or some foolish personal problem. But the details of the creation of the contagion and how it spread to the outside world were vital pieces of information that should have been revealed to him long before now. She should have told him from the start.
He’d thought they’d gotten beyond that kind of thing. Way beyond. But apparently not. He’d been wrong about her. Wrong about the trust he’d thought had been building between them. Wrong about the love that had blossomed in his heart, only to be shot down.
“Satellite is streaming in ten, Commander.” John’s voice broke into his silent reverie.
Matt gave the nod to dim the lights so they would be able to see the projection more clearly. He pushed aside the awkward minute of silence that had fallen in the room and allowed the darkness to engulf him. All eyes turned to the screen, watching intently as the video feed came to life.
The images were grainy at first, then clarified. Even Matt was impressed with the quality of the image. The CIA had access to some truly nifty toys in orbit.
“The structure at the top right of the screen is the farmhouse,” Matt informed those gathered, using a laser pointer to highlight the area on the screen. “This is a small utility shed and this larger building here is the barn, according to the county assessor’s report. The last onsite visit was in May of last year, so keep in mind that things may have changed since then.”
“Activity in the southwest quadrant,” John pointed out.
“I see him. Anybody recognize him?” Matt solicited the room at large.
The man was a little too indistinct.
“I can zoom in,” John volunteered.
“Do it,” Matt ordered, watching intently.
The man was leaving a small outbuilding that wasn’t on the assessor’s plans. The individual was heading for the farmhouse at a brisk pace. If they didn’t identify him now, they could lose their chance of doing so later. The satellite stayed overhead for only a few minutes at a time.
John punched keys on his laptop and the image zoomed. It grew grainier for a second, then resolved. Matt heard a familiar feminine gasp. His gaze swept down the table to Eileen. She sat rigid in her chair, her eyes glued to the screen.
“That’s Rodriguez,” she whispered. Turning toward Matt and meeting his gaze in the gloomy room, she spoke in a firmer voice. “That’s definitely Dr. Rodriguez.”
Satisfaction flowed through him. They’d just caught a big break.
“All right then.” He nodded his thanks to Eileen for speaking up
and confirming what he’d already surmised. The man hadn’t changed too much from his file photo. His hair was a little longer, but other than that, Dr. Rodriguez hadn’t altered his appearance much, the overconfident bastard. Matt forced himself to look around the table at the rest of the team. “You all know what to do. I want to have our team in place tonight before dark. We’re going to take him down.”
Matt motioned for Eileen to stay after the meeting. He had a few things he wanted to say to her before the action started again.
“Eileen, you’re on lockdown. I don’t want you leaving this building until further notice.”
“You can’t be serious. The guy who was after me is gone. I doubt I’m in much danger now.”
“You’re in danger every minute until Rodriguez is apprehended. Don’t doubt it. If Leroy Mertle,” he stumbled over the name, “could come on and off base with impunity, what makes you think someone else in Rodriguez’s employ can’t do the same?” He paused a beat before continuing. “No, you’re still in danger until the threat has been completely neutralized. To me, that means until Rodriguez is in my brig.”
“If this is some kind of revenge for my not telling you about…” She trailed off, seemingly unable to finish.
“About what?” He couldn’t resist taunting her. “You know what? Forget it.”
“It’s obvious you haven’t forgotten anything,” she muttered.
“Damn straight I haven’t forgotten. How could I? You lied to me, Eileen. That’s not something I can forget.”
“I never lied.” Her tone was adamant.
“By omission, you certainly did. I knew you were keeping something from me and I should’ve trusted my gut instincts, but I rationalized my concerns away. I didn’t think you would keep something that could have been vital to our mission from me. I trusted you to be straight with me on that at least. Turns out I was wrong.”
“Tell me how knowing I’d forgotten to close a door”—her voice broke on the word—“could have made a difference to our mission!”
She had a point, but he wasn’t about to give in.
“I didn’t want to get into this with you now.” He ran one hand through his hair. It was shaking slightly and that small loss of control annoyed him even more. “In fact, I’m done. You have your orders. Follow them. And don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” He purposely looked down at the papers that littered the table in front of him, dismissing her.
“I’m not one of your soldiers. I don’t have to follow orders.” She nearly spat out the words and her body trembled in anger. “In fact, I’m done. With this mission. With this team. And especially with you.”
She stormed out of the room and he followed but stopped short upon finding Simon just outside the door, waiting for him. He had his arms crossed before his chest and stepped in front of Matt when he would have pursued the fleeing woman.
“Let her go.”
Matt thought about his options. He didn’t seriously think Eileen would do anything risky or foolish. She probably just needed a chance to calm down.
He slammed his hand against the door frame. “All right. Gather the men. I want to go over the battle plan.”
“You gonna be okay, skipper?” Simon’s voice was pitched low.
“No,” he answered honestly. “But I’ll survive.”
Eileen was so angry she thought maybe steam might be coming out of her ears. She was also hurt. She felt like her heart was breaking all over again. Tears blinded her as she reached the door to the stairwell. She didn’t really know where she was going. She just had to get away. Away from Matt. Away from the accusation in his eyes. Away from her guilt.
Of course, she knew there was no getting away from the guilt that followed wherever she went. In a way, it was a relief to have the truth out in the open. Sure, Simon despised her and Matt wasn’t far behind. All in all, it turned out about the way she’d expected.
The only consolation was Mariana’s understanding and Donna’s compassion. Remembering that, she headed for the lab. She was about to enter when she heard voices from within the room.
“I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes right now. The commander looked really ticked off,” Donna said. She didn’t know the half of it.
“It’ll blow over in time,” Mariana assured her. “But for now, I think they’re in for a rocky road. Matt Sykes doesn’t seem the type to forgive or forget easily.”
Yeah, Mariana had that right. Matt wasn’t ever going to forgive her, Eileen thought.
“Are you concerned about Simon going out with the combat team tonight?”
“I worry whenever he goes out on a mission,” Mariana admitted. “This has all got to come to a head. The sooner the better, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I feel a bit safer knowing the guy who kept infiltrating the base has been taken care of. I bet Dr. McCormick is breathing a lot easier on that score, too.”
Come to think of it, she was, Eileen realized. While there were still enemies out there, the only one she’d seen on base was this Leroy character. He was gone, so the most immediate threat had been removed. That didn’t mean she was totally safe yet, but it did give her cause to feel some relief.
She stepped away from the doorway and headed in the opposite direction. She didn’t want to see anyone yet. She needed some air.
Matt met with the combat team and finalized plans for the assault. They would go as soon as everything was set. The plan was to attack in what was left of the daylight so they could secure the living bad guys first, then wait till after dark to get any undead inhabitants who might be on the property.
The combat team would approach through the woods that bordered the farmhouse. That scrap of woodland meshed neatly with the base perimeter, which explained how the zombies were getting on and off base so easily. His men would use the same method to get to the farmhouse without being detected. Only, they weren’t going alone this time.
“Sir, I have to suggest once more that you are too important to this mission to be stomping around in the bush with us. You should stay here.” Simon, his oldest friend on the team, repeated his objection to Matt’s plan to go with them on the raid.
“Noted. But there’s no way I’m staying home this time.” He flashed Simon a bloodthirsty grimace.
After the day he’d already had, Matt wanted to get back in the action. His injury had sidelined him too long. The zombies he’d taken out after dinner last night had given him a fresh taste of real combat. He’d missed being in the field. If there was more action to be had, he wanted in on it, regardless of the fact that he was management and should rightfully be overseeing things from the sidelines. One more immune warrior on the mission was another few percent chance they would succeed. Matt was through sitting on the sidelines.
He also wanted something to do, other than sit around and think about how annoyed he was by Eileen’s actions. He’d thought they could have something special, and she turned out to have betrayed his trust. He wouldn’t get over that soon, even if his heart demanded some kind of resolution.
He was leaning toward forgiving her and asking her back in his life, which didn’t sit well in his mind at all. But his heart was dangerously close to taking control. It wanted her, no matter the cost in pride or self-control. It loved her. Scratch that. He loved her.
Damn. He’d been avoiding that word but it kept popping up. Regardless of what she’d done—what she’d told him, or hadn’t told him. He was still in love with her.
“Look, Matt,” Simon spoke quietly so that only Matt could hear. The other men were bustling around the room, readying their gear. “If you insist on doing this, at least stay to the rear. You haven’t operated as part of a team in the field in a long time. I don’t mean to insult your skills, but you know the guys have worked on group maneuvers more than you in recent weeks. They’ve established a rhythm. You know better than to mess with that, right?”
Matt sighed. “I do. And I understand your concern, Si. I’ll ha
ng in the back, but I am going on this mission. I’ve sat on my ass too long, and I won’t be held back anymore when we’re finally drawing this thing to a conclusion.”
“I can understand that,” Simon allowed. “It’ll be good to have you along, skipper.”
“As long as I don’t get in the way, right?” Matt was able to laugh at himself and bring a grin to Simon’s face as well.
They were old warhorses. They’d been going on ops together since they were young SEALs. Matt’s injury had sidelined him too soon, and it had been some time since he’d been in the field. Simon knew that better than anyone, and Matt understood Simon’s warnings came out of friendly concern. He could respect that. As long as Simon could respect the fact that Matt would not be sidelined ever again. He was back in action now and would be for as long as his newly healed body allowed.
Matt checked his gear, loading the pockets of his combat vest with extra clips of darts. They’d need them after dark, he was certain. For the more ordinary foes, he made sure he had enough traditional ammunition for his favorite assault rifle. He’d missed going on missions with the big hunk of metal he kept well oiled and in peak condition. He’d put in a lot of quality time on the range and knew his skills were still sharp with his weapon of choice. He just hadn’t been allowed out to play in the real world with the big boys in far too long.
Simon was right to warn him off. He wasn’t in battle-ready condition to lead the team and he knew it. But he did have the skills to keep up and assist the rear guard. He’d plant himself in back and let Simon do the leading, as he’d been doing since this team formed.
“It’s your show, Si,” Matt reassured his old comrade. “I’ll hang in the back and be ready to follow your lead.”