by Andy Hoare
Naal turned his attention to a man three seats down from Lucian, repeating his earlier introduction of the rogue trader. ‘My Lord Voltemoth, Supreme High Comptroller to the House of Luneberg.’ The man was wizened and ascetic, one eye, his nose and an ear replaced by cybernetic implants that no doubt facilitated his role within Luneberg’s bureaucracy.
Voltemoth regarded Lucian down his mighty, hawk like nose, his bushy grey eyebrows creasing as he appeared to Lucian to consider whether or not acknowledging the rogue trader was an efficient use of his time. He evidently decided some acknowledgement was in fact required, crossing his hands across his chest in the sign of the aquila.
A third introduction followed, this time to the fellow sitting on Lucian’s left. ‘The Lord Procreator General, Theodulf Raffenswine.’ Lucian stifled a cough. Had Naal really just introduced the man as what he thought he had? He remained impassive, bowing politely as Raffenswine nodded back, his jewel-like cybernetic eyes twinkling.
Lucian’s estimation of the court of Luneberg was being refined with each introduction. The Imperial Commander appeared to have surrounded himself with the effete and the ineffectual: highborn autocrats, all, to Lucian’s practiced eye, lords and masters of their small world, yet ultimately, entirely subservient to the will of their overlord. It appeared to Lucian that either Luneberg, or perhaps some ancestor who had instigated such a system, had concocted a very good way of controlling his world’s ruling class.
Another introduction interrupted Lucian’s chain of thought. ‘My Lady, Madam Clarimonde Vulviniam-Clancy.’ Lucian was unsure whether that was the woman’s rank or her name, but bowed politely to her nonetheless. She nodded back, her tall hairpiece threatening to topple as she did so.
A round of introductions to diners of apparently lesser rank followed, Naal passing over each with increasing brevity, until, finally, Lucian was introduced to every guest he could at least see, for the far ends of the table were still obscured in gloom. Lucian had noted throughout the introductions that at no point had even the lowest-ranked diner been introduced to him; it was always the other way around. He pondered whether this was an intentional, conscious snub on Luneberg’s part, or a more generalised condescension towards outsiders manifested in the court’s customs.
Luneberg snapped his fingers, and Naal bent at the waist to attend his words. From his position, Lucian could not hear the exchange, but it resulted in Naal standing straight once more, and clapping his hands together once.
A tangible sense of anticipation swept the hall. The shadows behind Naal stirred, and a procession of servants appeared, each holding a silver dish covered by a tall dome. The train snaked around the table, until a servant stood at the right side of each diner. At some unspoken command, each servant bent forward and lifted the heavy dome, holding forth the silver plate for the diners’ inspection.
The guests let out a collective gasp, part thrill, part horror. Lucian studied their faces. Each diner bore an expression that sat somewhere between rapture and pain, while Luneberg regarded Lucian intently, seeking, Lucian deduced, any sign of uncertainty that might be turned to the Imperial Commander’s advantage.
Luneberg spread his arms wide and addressed the table. ‘My loyal friends, we have the honour of the presence of a great guest, and it is my intention to honour him and his kin in return by serving the very finest of delicacies! My agents, at prodigious expense to myself, and extreme personal danger to themselves, have procured from the distant world of Catachan,’ – a murmur of appreciation – ‘the most exquisite dish in the quadrant: The Catachan face eater!’
The servant at Lucian’s side proffered him the plate. Lucian looked down. Upon it was a colourless, shapeless slab of twitching muscle.
The servant waited for a response. When none was immediately forthcoming, he addressed Lucian. ‘Is the creature to my lord’s satisfaction?’
Lucian nodded to the servant, who covered the dish once more, and withdrew. He swallowed hard; these people were utterly, irredeemably, mad.
Brielle seethed as Goanna brought the shuttle down upon the landing pad at Chasmata Capitalis. She had foregone the Chasmatans’ planetary shuttle, boarding her own and ordering her pilot to breach the non-existent blockade. The journey to the capital had taken less than an hour, but she had fallen into a deep brooding during the flight, during which she had come to the conclusion that her father and her stepbrother must be stopped from dragging the dynasty into oblivion. She knew they would not listen to her warnings, so she had determined to impress her will in any way she was able.
She unbuckled her safety harness, and was out of her seat before the shuttle had finished touching down. She struck the ramp release, striking it a second time when it failed to engage. The shuttle safely down and the lockouts disengaged, her third strike caused the ramp to lower, and she stormed down it, into the cold evening air of Mundus Chasmata.
‘My lady, I must ask that you halt immediately!’
A squad of Luneberg’s household guard stood blocking Brielle’s path from the pad, their white armour ghostly in the dim light of the dusk. She stopped, and stood before them, looking them over mockingly.
‘Which of you clones is in charge?’
A white and gold-armoured trooper, wearing armour as white and gold as the others, stepped forward.
‘I am, of course. Ma’am, you do not have clearance to land.’
‘Oh dear, silly me, I seem to have done so anyway. What do you propose to do about it?’
‘You must obtain the proper retroactive clearance.’
‘Fine, I’ll do that. I was on my way to an audience with the Imperial Commander anyway. He is empowered to grant me a retroactive landing permit I suppose?’
The trooper’s mouth opened and closed for a moment, before he came to an obvious decision. ‘Yes ma’am, I suggest you do so.’
Brielle was already pushing through the squad, her course now clear in her mind.
In what felt like entirely too short a time, the dish had returned. Lucian had spent the intervening period engaged in meaningless small talk with those on either side of him. The man introduced as the ‘Procreator General’ was, despite Lucian’s initial misgivings, a likeable enough fellow, despite the fact that conversation with him was somewhat awkward because eye contact was not made with human eyes but with his multi-spectral, artificial ones. Lucian had been mildly curious as to Raffenswine’s position within the ruling elite, but had thought twice about broaching the subject, knowing that many cultures found such topics vulgar. Lucian suspected this might be literally true in the Procreator General’s case.
The elderly woman to Lucian’s right turned out to be one of the most unpleasant individuals Lucian had ever had the misfortune of meeting, and he had in his time spoken with some highly unpleasant beings. Though she feigned an air of disinterest in her surroundings, she reminded Lucian of a haemonculus of the xenos eldar that he had once had cause to meet. She shared the eldar’s apparent distain for other beings, clearly being of the opinion that all such lower creatures were a simple waste of flesh. Lucian was quite pleased when the Catachan face eater was placed before him.
Luneberg tapped his goblet twice with a silver spoon, the diners immediately hanging on his coming words. ‘My friends, our finest chefs have prepared for us a dish of supreme delicacy. You have all seen with your own eyes that the creatures were in good condition, if necessarily sedated when presented to you. They have now received the tender mercies of our kitchens, and await your pleasure. Enjoy!’
The servant lifted the dome covering the dish, placing the face eater on the table in front of Lucian. He looked around at the other diners, seeing that every one was nodding in appreciation, yet none seemed willing to eat first.
‘My dear Lucian,’ Luneberg called from across the table, ‘I trust such a dish is nothing exotic to one such as you.’ Every diner in the hall looked up at him, p
leased, he judged, by the distraction.
Lucian saw immediately that Luneberg sought to test him. Fine, he thought, better men than him had tried. ‘I have eaten many such dishes, my dear Culpepper,’ Lucian said, using Luneberg’s forename deliberately, weighing up the risk in terms of breaching etiquette, ‘though never so exquisitely prepared as this variant.’
An appreciative murmur emanated from several nearby diners. Lucian had the distinct impression that they were enjoying the spectacle.
‘Well,’ Luneberg leaned back in his seat, ‘you will have to demonstrate the correct manner in which such a dish is consumed. We are but a frontier world, and the ways of high court are slow to reach us.’
Now Lucian knew Luneberg was upping his game. What did the Imperial Commander have to gain from doing so? Did he seek some pretext under which to take offence at Lucian’s deportment? Wars had certainly been fought over such trivial matters as which direction the svort was passed after dinner, so such a motive was certainly not out of the question.
‘Certainly.’ Lucian looked down at the dish before him. The fleshy, translucent meat of the Catachan face eater lay on a bed of delicate green shoots. Lucian knew a little about the creature’s habits, and knew, full well, how it had come by its name. When first offered for the diners’ inspection the creatures were very much alive, though as Luneberg had stated, sedated enough to stop them from launching themselves at the guests. The creature spasmed, indicating to Lucian that he was expected to eat it alive. Fine, he thought, he’d eaten far more repulsive, though less dangerous creatures before, and would do so again were it to aid the survival of his dynasty.
That thought in mind, Lucian reached for an eating implement, judging expertly which of the score of utensils at his placing was set aside for the task at hand. He chose what he took for the filleting knife, guessing that he would need to make an incision that would incapacitate, as opposed to awaken, the deadly creature.
He raised the knife as a, literally, deadly silence gripped the hall. The face eater twitched once more. In one fluid motion, Lucian sank the knife into the part of its flesh that had moved, slicing away a thin morsel of still-convulsing muscle and popping it into his mouth. He chewed, as a polite round of compliments rippled through the diners.
‘Well, I must say, that’s one way of going about it. I prefer to wallop the blighters with a mallet myself!’
The diners let out a nervous titter, picking up the miniature hammers set amongst the cutlery, and tapping the food upon their dishes nervously. Lucian chuckled inwardly as he saw that, in many cases this just served to make the food angry. Lucian noted, however, that Raffenswine, seated next to him, was eating the dish as Lucian had, and within minutes half the diners in the hall were doing the same.
‘You’ve made quite an impression upon my court, my dear Lucian’, said Luneberg. ‘I hope the meat is to your taste?’
Lucian nodded. ‘Yes my lord. The dish is quite exquisite,’ he lied. In fact, it was quite tasteless. He saw immediately that Luneberg had served such a dangerous dish not for its taste, but for its entertainment value. Clearly, some form of ennui had descended upon the court, driving it to ever more contrived distractions, from its hyper-cultured mores to its culinary eccentricities.
The entrée consumed, Naal had ordered the main course to be served. Lucian had scant chance to discover what manner of dish this might be, however, before a commotion at the far end of the hall caught his attention.
He looked around the table, catching Korvane’s eye. His son appeared pained, yet none of the diners appeared to have noticed. Looking closer, Lucian saw that the other guests appeared to be concentrating especially hard upon their neighbours, heads nodding eagerly in determined agreement with the most insignificant of statements.
As the commotion grew louder, the diners turned their heads away from the direction from which it emanated, assiduously ignoring its source. Lucian heard a raised voice, and knew, an instant before she appeared, that it belonged to his daughter.
Relief flooded through him, for his daughter was safe. As she stepped from the shadows, exasperated servants trailing behind her, he made to stand to greet her. Before he could however, Korvane coughed, drawing his attention to his son. With the slightest of motions, Korvane shook his head, and indicated Luneberg, who was staring, red-faced, into his goblet. The Imperial Commander’s servants were in some distress, for they appeared not to know where to look, so obvious was their master’s displeasure.
Brielle walked straight past him, and then past Korvane, and sat, before the attendant servant had the chance to pull out her seat for her. She swung her legs up onto the table, and crossed them, resting them on its edge. The movement caused priceless crystal goblets to tumble and smash upon the stone floor, and the crimson liquid within spilled across the table’s surface. She reached across the table and lifted a crystal decanter, pouring herself a glass of its contents.
Lucian stared straight at his daughter, unable to fathom her behaviour. The room was now utterly silent; every head turned discreetly away from Brielle, yet, every eye glued to her.
She lifted the glass to her lips.
Luneberg surged to his feet. His servants scattered in all directions and priceless goblets toppled, spilling their contents across the table.
‘Lucian!’
Lucian stood, guessing what was coming next.
‘Lucian, this is a travesty! Take her away this instant!’
Lucian did not say a word. He merely walked over to his daughter and proffered her his arm. She took it demurely, and together, they walked, heads held high, from Luneberg’s dining hall.
Chapter Six
‘What by Vandire’s hole is wrong with you, girl?’
Brielle remained silent. She would weather the storm of her father’s wrath. Only once she had afforded him the opportunity to fully vent his spleen would she be able to act. He had remained silent all the way from Luneberg’s dining hall back to the stateroom, but Brielle had sensed his boiling, inner rage from the moment they had left the chamber. He had not said a word, even to Korvane, who had caught up with them having made his apologies to Luneberg, until the door of the suite had closed behind them.
‘You know how much is hanging on this mission, and yet you stroll into Luneberg’s court with absolutely no concern for etiquette. Have I taught you nothing?’
Brielle bristled at that, for she held dear the memories of the lessons learned at her father’s side, before Korvane had arrived. She remained impassive regardless, determined that any damage done would not be caused by her, despite the fact that her father was quite correct. Her actions had been contrary to all she knew of courtly etiquette, and deliberately so.
‘If I didn’t know better, I might have thought you’d done it–’
‘Father?’ Korvane broke in, calm in the face of his father’s wrath. Easy enough for him, thought Brielle, for it was not directed at him. In fact, Brielle thought, he probably sought to turn it to his own advantage.
‘What?’ Her father held Brielle’s gaze for a couple of seconds before turning to face her stepbrother.
‘Father, I think we need to plan what to do next. I’ve been studying the Chasmatans’ traditions, and there’s precedent to suggest they might have grounds to cancel any contract we might have entered into.’
Lucian took a deep breath, before addressing both his children. ‘Korvane, Brielle, you both need to understand something about the nature of our deal with Luneberg. As I explained after the initial talks, this is not the type of contract recognised by high law and enforceable in the courts. This is not simple trade. This isn’t even a transaction, and Luneberg is neither our partner nor our customer. He wanted something from us, and as much as he needed us at the beginning, we’re as good as competitors in the long run.’
Brielle fought hard to hold her tongue, for as much as she agreed with her
father’s assessment, she felt even more strongly that he should never have entered into the venture in the first place.
‘Luneberg needed us in order to gauge whether or not he was on to something good. The fact that we signed up, and have returned here, tells him he is,’ Lucian said.
‘But still,’ Korvane spoke up, ‘he needs us to move the goods on. Without us, he’s surely just sitting on worthless merchandise.’
Brielle thought back to the cargo still sitting in her hold. She knew it was far from worthless. She had seen it for what it was – a mere sample of goods to be provided in the future. She would keep this information to herself though, and only reveal at a time most suited to her own ends. Her deliberate behaviour at the dining hall would pay dividends in the long run, but had left her stock low in the short term.
‘I need to speak to Luneberg,’ said Lucian. ‘Try to patch things up and find out what he really wants from us. I know I can turn this to our profit, but I need both of you,’ he looked straight at Brielle, ‘both of you behind me. We are, in case you have forgotten, Arcadius.’
Brielle nodded, a vision of contrition, and her father visibly calmed. ‘Korvane and I will get back to Luneberg. You,’ he squeezed her hand, ‘stay out of trouble.’
Only once her father and stepbrother had left the suite did Brielle allow herself a wry grin. She had succeeded in complicating the deal to the point where it might collapse entirely, but was unsure exactly where to go from there. When she had discovered the nature of the items in her hold, she had intended merely to steer her father away from the deal, souring it to the extent that it would collapse largely of its own accord. She thought of this as entirely unselfish, but had come to realise that her father, and certainly her stepbrother, would hardly see it that way.