by Kristy Marie
She throws off the boat cover and levels me with a look of contempt. “Are you saying since I’m a girl, I wouldn’t know how to drive a boat this big?”
Fuck. Way to walk into this pile of shit, Sebastian.
I match her stare. “Why you always gotta bring gender into this? Did I say girls couldn’t drive boats?”
“That’s what you implied.” She flips me off.
“I did not imply you couldn’t drive it because you’re a girl. I was implying that you couldn’t drive it because you can’t drive a car for shit. I’m simply assuming driving anything with a motor isn’t your forte.”
“Suck a dick, Sebastian. I drive fine. Just because I might have cruised through a couple stop signs that one time when I was your designated driver does not mean I didn’t see them. Relax. I can drive the fucking boat.” She tosses a life vest at my head. Clearly, I was staring at her boobs and not her face. “Just like I can drive a car. You’re already getting on my nerves. I don’t know that we’ll end up with any useable footage from today.”
Oh, we’re getting footage. I did not drive all this way, listening to her ridiculous 90’s bitch bands and playing a sign game that I still don’t completely understand, for nothing.
“We’ll get the footage. Don’t you worry your pretty little head.” I step over the ledge and set our cooler down on the leather seats. It’s good there, right? “Should we put it on the floor or something more stable?”
Vee’s eyes go to the sky. “It’s a cooler, not a baby. It doesn’t need a car seat. I’m sure it can handle a little wind.”
Okay damn. I just didn’t want it to go flying when Vee’s crazy ass driving sends it airborne.
“I’m just checking. It wouldn’t be the first time you lost something while you were driving.” I’m referring to the time we drove overnight to attend a concert in Tennessee. You know, before, when we were friends.
Her eyes narrow to slits. “You were the one who lost the tickets!”
I hop over and lounge on the plush back seat, letting my legs fall open. “I told you to drive straight.” And she didn’t. She ran off the road because she was too busy critiquing my camera angle. One curve led to me grabbing the “Oh shit” handles and our backstage tickets went flying out the window and into the road dust.
“That wasn’t my fault,” she argues, starting the boat.
“I beg to differ.”
As the engine purrs, my excitement mounts. Whether it’s from arguing with Vee or knowing I’m about to be on a board that I haven’t been on in years, one will never know.
“I’m the one who found the tickets!”
She’s still arguing about her driving.
“I think it was fitting since you technically lost them.”
“I swear, I’ll drown you out here, Sebastian. The lake monsters will enjoy a little bitchy snack.”
I grab my side and pretend it hurts from fake laughter. “You’re so funny, Vee. Why don’t you have more followers with this material?”
She flips me off and then, without another word, pulls out into the open water and throws the throttle down, sending the cooler sliding into my thigh.
See? I told you.
University CamFlix Competition Submission
Entry Number: 75
Sebastian and Valentina
Second Interview Continued, also that time the demon sort of complimented me
“Sebastian, next question is from Maureen. ‘What is it like loving your best friend?’”
Eww. I cringe at the question. I’m glad Sebastian has to answer it. It’ll be one he would rather chop off a finger before answering, but since we’re on camera, he’ll have to do it with a smile. Not that he won’t lie, but still, he has to answer with a non-shitty answer.
“It’s uh…” he looks at me and shakes his head with a grin, “always interesting. She’s always surprising me.”
Watching Sebastian wakeboarding is like curling up in my comfy chair and turning on a movie. It’s relaxing. It holds my attention. And I know watching it one time won’t be enough.
I keep the boat straight and glance back once more, watching as the asshole next door’s muscles flex with each impact. Initially, I was hoping he would get out on the board and suck majorly, face planting the first go, but such was not the case.
We’ve been on the water for an hour now, filming Sebastian skimming across the water’s surface. He’s yet to tire of wakeboarding. I guess he really does love it. When we were friends before, he never had a board, so I thought this newfound sport was something he might have wanted to do but didn’t necessarily know how to. But, as usual, Sebastian isn’t what he seems to be.
For example, the blood donation. I knew he went every few months because, as he pointed out, I went with him and fainted. But that’s not the point. The point is that it’s such a selfless act, and to this day, I don’t know why he consistently does it. Sure, I think it’s because of his sister, but I don’t know why. He’s never said what happened to her. He keeps his relationship with his family to himself.
But I guess we all do to some extent. I don’t go around telling everyone I know that my dad was once homeless, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t go around exposing the skeletons in his family’s closet.
I turn back and make sure Sebastian is still on the board when I hear a loud horn blare just to the left of me. “Shit!”
The noise startles me, and I jerk the steering wheel to the right before I realize it’s just a party boat full of morons. I flip them off and turn back to check on Sebastian.
“Oh no!” He’s not on his board. “Sebastian!”
I circle back around and notice he still hasn’t come up. The idiot refused to wear a life vest, even though it’s the law.
Surely, he can swim. Right? I mean, that seems like something you would know how to do before you go wakeboarding and refusing a vest.
“Sebastian!” I yell one more time.
His board floats up, and my heart stops. No!
I tie my hair up before I take a breath and dive into the cloudy water. I didn’t even think to bring the life ring with me. I just reacted. I swim around, slashing my arms through the water as if he’s floating just beneath the surface.
Why isn’t he kicking or flailing?
Did he hit his head? Did he pass out?
My stomach churns with the thoughts of Bash-hole drowning and me just above him.
“Bash!”
I’m in tears, searching and slashing frantically in the water when I’m suddenly yanked under. I take a quick inhale, but I don’t have time to prepare and end up swallowing a crap ton of water.
I kick for the surface as hard as I can and then something helps me up and I’m through the water, choking to the sounds of Bash-hole’s laughter.
“You’re a dick,” I scream out between coughing fits.
Next to me is my annoyingly fine fake boyfriend, laughing as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
I slap his chest. “I hate you.”
He rubs the spot on his chest and tries to pull me in for a hug. “Aww. Come on. I thought you wanted to drown me.”
I turn and start swimming back to the boat. “I’d certainly like to now.”
He catches up to me easily. “Were you trying to save me, Valentina?”
I don’t look at the stupid grin I know is on his face. “No. I was looking for the end of the rope. I didn’t want it getting caught in the motor when I left your ass here.”
Sebastian laughs, and I clamp my mouth shut, so I don’t let my own laugh slip out. But then he snags my foot and pulls me toward him. We’re both treading water while we face each other. I’m looking at him like I could really dunk his ass under and not feel bad about it and he’s looking at me like it’s taking all he has not to laugh more.
“It wasn’t funny.” I’m so over this whole outing.
He holds his fingers up, his thumb and forefinger spaced only an inch or so apart. “It was a little fu
nny. Admit it.”
I’m not going to admit it.
“You’re going to hell,” I tell him.
He grabs my chin and leans in close. “I’ll save you the spot next to me.”
And then he kisses me.
Whether it’s for the camera still rolling in the boat or because he wants to, I’ll never know, but, just in case, I channel all the fear and frustration into this one kiss.
I bite his lip, and he growls, yanking me to his bare chest. “You drive me mad,” he growls out between nips, as I leave a trail of marks from my grip on his shoulders.
“Ditto.”
Our mouths are vessels of hate as we devour each other’s faces in the middle of the lake. Boaters pass us and several honk their horns, but no one stops and asks if we’re okay. The only thing to finally tear us apart is when I feel something brush against my leg.
“Ahh!”
I climb onto Sebastian, and he immediately wraps his arms around me. “What? Did something bite you?”
Here’s the thing. For the most part, I am rough and tough. I don’t need a man to kill a bug or take my trash out. It’s nice for them to do it, but I’m not for having to sleep with them to get such perks, but snakes… those bastards are on a whole other level.
“Something touched my leg.” Even I cringe when I say it.
Sebastian grins.
“Shut up,” I tell him, though he hasn’t said a word yet. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m deathly afraid of snakes, and growing up, I’ve seen several water moccasins in these waters.”
For a second, I think Sebastian looks concerned, but then he tosses me off him. I go under the water and pop up quickly and see him swimming for the boat. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I shout, but I keep swimming, eyeing the water around me. “Are you really racing me to the boat?”
“Who says I’m not scared of snakes too?” The bastard says between laughs.
“You’re unbelievable. I cannot believe I was going to rescue you. Next time I will let your ass drown.”
Suddenly I’m met with a solid wall of asshole. When did he stop swimming? “I call bullshit,” he says, his voice hard with a hint of something else.
“Get out of my way.” I try to shove him, but he catches my arm and pulls it over his shoulder. “What are you doing?”
Heaven help me, he is putting me on his back.
“I’m making sure the big, bad snakes don’t get you.”
He needs to drown or at least experience a few minutes of waterboarding.
“Oh, wow,” I say with heavy sarcasm. “My hero.”
“Damn right,” he says, just as he grasps the ladder and hoists both me and him up and out of the water.
I’d like to say I’m not impressed with his show of manliness and delicious arm muscles, but I can’t. My damn vagina tingles. The demon has charmed me yet again.
“I’m impressed,” I say, taking a bite of my burger. “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”
Sebastian gives me a bored look. “It doesn’t take a genius to grill.”
I raise my brows. It may not, but, for a while, he had a flame taller than me he was trying to contain, so I had a valid reason to worry about the fate of my burger. “All I’m saying is I had doubts. Consider me pleasantly surprised.”
After the near snake encounter—that was probably a fish—Sebastian and I decided it was a good time to head back to the house and eat.
An hour and three MyView tutorial videos later, we have food.
And a blanket.
And bugs galore.
“Ugh!” I swat at another yellow jacket. “Why are there so many bugs?”
Sebastian leans around the perimeter of the blanket, unhurried and unconcerned that a violent winged creature is going to sting the bejesus out of him at any moment. In all actuality, they probably pick up the asshole vibe he gives off and steer clear. Me, on the other hand, they seem to enjoy taunting.
“I don’t see anything,” he says, his voice careful.
My eyes narrow. “I am not making this up. I promise they keep flying around my head.”
Again, he looks around, as if proving there is no flying insects and I’m merely being paranoid.
“Fine,” I say after a minute when, coincidentally, the yellow jackets disappear. “I swear they were there,” I add, pointing my finger around the blanket. He can make fun of me all he wants, but I know what I saw.
“I’m not arguing with you.” He shrugs, taking a bite of his own burger.
“I think you are,” I argue, sitting back down on my side of the blanket. The camera is still rolling from earlier when we documented Sebastian’s almost grill fiasco.
With his mouth full, he mumbles something I don’t catch, but then swallows and tries again. “Why would I argue about there being yellow jackets? If you say they are swarming around you, then I believe you. Stop trying to start a fight.”
He says ‘start a fight’ like we’re this married couple that gets bored and stirs up some drama just to bring back the spark in the relationship.
“Because you like to argue with me.” And clearly, I like to argue with him, because we’re basically having an argument over arguing.
A stupid grin, that should not be allowed, pulls onto Sebastian’s face. “If memory serves correctly, you are the one who enjoys heated debates. Wasn’t it me who had to step in front of you and that guy who was protesting recycling on the quad?”
Oh, wow.
He went there. He went back to that time that we promised never to discuss again. I shift and sit cross-legged on the blanket. “That dipshit was trying to get on the five o’clock news and you know it. There was absolutely no reason he couldn’t throw his plastic water bottle into a different trash can, which was sitting right next to the one he threw it in. He wanted a lashing.”
Sebastian chuckles. “And a lashing you gave him, right up until he shoved you and I had to step in between you two.
My lips quirk. “I could have taken him,” I say, only frowning slightly.
“I had concerns back then that you weren’t even tall enough to look him in the eye, much less land a punch. Knowing you now, I understand my instincts were right. He would have kicked your ass.”
We both know Sebastian would have never let that happen. Not then and especially not now that I’m his fake girlfriend.
“It was like little David and Goliath.” His rumbling laughter is not at all cute. Full transparency, it is really cute and I’m glad the camera is rolling, catching this rare show of Sebastian letting go.
“I was not David,” I mutter, in between his gasps for air. Have mercy. “It’s not that funny, dick. Stop laughing.”
But he doesn’t. Instead, he falls back onto the grass, holding his stomach. “If I would have known then…” Another bout of laughter. “I might have…” Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. “Just to see what he would have done.”
“Great.” I stand up, interrupting Sebastian’s good time and glare down at the hyena. “I’m going to put the food—AhhOww!”
I dart around the blanket, a stinging on the inside of my leg like I’ve never felt before. “Oh my gosh!” I’m swatting at an invisible attacker as my leg starts to burn.
“What’s the matter?”
Sebastian’s laughter comes to an abrupt halt as he stands, looking around for the threat. Which, he probably thinks is me, but I don’t have time to explain. Something is biting, stinging, tearing me from the inside out mighty close to my—
“Valentina!”
His voice is a roar, and it halts me midjump.
“What is wrong?”
I think it’s pretty obvious, but sometimes I can get a little antsy, so maybe Sebastian needs me to confirm if there’s a real issue or if I’m just being a spaz.
I shoot him a clear look of, ‘I told you so.’ “Something is stinging me!”
Or stung me. My whole leg is throbbing at this point, so for all I know, the little bastard coul
d still be chomping away, and I wouldn’t be able to tell new pain from the initial sting.
“Where?” Sebastian says, his hand coming to rest on my back.
Oh wow. He moved fast.
I shoo him off and take a step toward the house. “My shorts—oh my gosh! Is it still in there?”
I was wrong; I can still feel the sting. Oh my gosh. Watch this thing be in my panties. That’s all I need— “What the hell are you doing?”
Before I can react and smack his hands away, Sebastian has my shorts down and pooled at my feet. “I’m making sure it’s not in your clothes.”
He tries to keep his gaze on my face and not on the movie reel panties I’m currently wearing. They aren’t awful, but they aren’t the lacy kind that Aspen wears that literally only cover half of her butt cheeks. I kind of like my cheeks secured and not hanging out like half-wrapped Moon Pies.
“I’m going to make sure it’s gone, okay?”
He holds his hands up as though he’s coming in peace and not planning on copping a feel. His throat works and I’m mesmerized by the action of a strong man kneeling at my feet.
“Okay?” He prompts me again.
I nod, fighting the urge to fidget as his eyes hold mine and drift lower going from my face, to my chest, and then losing my gaze and examining the skin below my hips.
I can feel goosebumps rise as his fingers lead the hunt for the devil bug, moving gently across my heated flesh and around my hip. I can feel his breath against my skin, and I can’t tell if it’s cooling me down or setting me on fire.
“I don’t see anything,” he notes softly at my hip, his fingers dangerously close to the edge of the only fabric covering me.
I swallow and avoid his concerned eyes and look up to the sky. It’s blue. The clouds look like soft pillows. Like the one Sebastian used to sleep on when his pouty lips were at rest, all boyish and cute and—oh no. No, no, Vee. We are not doing this again. We promised not to fall for Sebastian again.
I focus and lean my head down and meet his eyes. “It’s not at my hip.”
I cringe, and Sebastian nods like this is a fight he can handle, even if neither of us want to.