by JJ Marsh
Random detail number two. The apron. When I pulled it out of the drawer and tied the tapes around my waist, I did not register the pattern. It was only when Clark made a comment about me ‘still rocking that look’ that I checked in the mirror. A French maid outfit complete with cartoon cleavage and frilly pinafore. The only way Clark could know what I used to wear when role-playing sex games, was because Dhan had been less than discreet. The fact the chalet had a French maid apron I put down to coincidence.
Random detail number three. The mirror. Before Clark arrived, Lovisa had bathed. She came downstairs to greet him in her bath robe. We didn’t dress for dinner as everything you wear when eating fondue tends to stink for days. So the first time I entered the bathroom other than to deposit my necessaire was when I cleaned my teeth and performed my skincare routine before bed. I cleansed my face of make-up and applied my moisturiser. Steam from the warm water revealed a message on the mirror. A +.
I frowned, assuming it was one of Lovisa’s positive mantras, wiped it off with a towel and continued to apply Crème de la Mer.
Random detail number four. The champagne. I thought Gael was telling the truth. She did not put that bottle on the windowsill and neither did Clark. My explanation sounded good but I didn’t believe it. If the concierge had arrived to deliver a bottle of champagne and found us absent, he would have used his key and placed the champagne on the kitchen table, probably with a business card. Not even a complete imbecile would leave Möet et Chandon outside in minus 7°.
Random detail number five. When we returned from skiing, we came in via the top door. Skis outside, we took off our gear on the landing. When I went to hang up my ski suit, I noticed the hook I had used that morning was now occupied. When my suit had previously hung was a child’s ski suit which had not been there before. I asked Lovisa and Mika if they had seen it, perhaps moved it before we left. They were as puzzled as me.
I’m not paranoid, but something in this chalet stinks and it is stronger than the cheese.
Voices came from the living room and the front door slammed. I drew my attention back to the present. Through the kitchen window, we watched the police car drive down the lane, its brake lights turning the snow pink. We waited. The kitchen door slid open and Gael came to join us.
“They didn’t find anything. Their theory is we came across a deer, struck it a glancing blow and it sprang off into the forest. They returned our emergency triangle and told us not to worry about it. We should have a good New Year’s Eve but just to reassure us they will check the area again tomorrow morning in daylight. So that, I guess, is that.”
Clark slouched into the doorway behind her, his right hand cradling his left elbow in its sling. “They’ve gone. Shall we eat?”
I looked into Gael’s eyes. They seemed dull and tired to me. “Do you believe it was a deer?” I asked.
She shrugged. “No. But for want of a better explanation, I’ll run with it. Come on, let’s put a truly shitty day behind us and enjoy a decent meal. Who’s up for red wine?”
We ate a lot, we drank a lot and we tried, all of us, to recapture some of the bonhomie of the night before. We failed. I racked my brains to think of some kind of game we could play but came up with nothing. I have never been a game kind of person. That would be Gael’s forte and she was barely holding up her end of the conversation. Clark’s discomfort grew more obvious throughout the evening. He shifted, repositioned, accepted a cushion from Lovisa but was evidently in pain. Gael’s introspection became a vacuum and Mika was drinking wine as if it were water. Conversation ran dry and I checked my watch to see how long we had to force ourselves to stay awake. It was ten to eleven.
Into the silence, Mika spoke. “Do you believe in ghosts?”
We all stared at him. Mr Practical asking such a bizarre question? I wanted to laugh. But he did not and neither did anyone else.
“The reason I ask is because I feel like I’m going a little crazy. I know I’m over-thinking this and I ask you just to listen. Ever since we came here, things haven’t felt right. Maybe it’s because we are all thinking back to twenty years ago. Maybe it’s our age, where the past feels longer than the future. I don’t know. But the last twenty-four hours have freaked me out and I don’t think I’m alone.”
Tears of relief pricked my eyes and I reached for Mika’s hand. “I am so glad you said that. I understand because I feel exactly the same way. There was no way I could raise the subject, because you would all dismiss it as ‘classic Simone’. Something is wrong. To answer your question, Mika, no. I do not believe in ghosts. But I do think someone is trying to frighten us. Who and why and how they know so much, I have no clue.”
Chapter 22: Gael, now
From sleepy, disconnected and spent, the atmosphere became charged and weighty. Everyone was wide awake. The change was not positive. I looked from one face to the other, my suspicions hardening into a conviction. It was clear to me these people were haunted. Whatever factors had frightened them, this was more than a memory of a twenty-year-old tragedy. For the first time, I allowed my shapeless suspicions to form a concrete theory.
Mika’s house, Mika’s lights, Mika’s long strong arms hauling me out of the icy water. Mika’s lies. He knew Dhan had stolen his money before we went to the Czech Republic. Filled with rage, he wanted revenge.
Lovisa, earth mother, top-level A student, shocked and stressed by Dhan’s plagiarism. She confronted him and he laughed.
Simone, the sensationalist. Responsible for the wrist clip to stop any one of us from slipping under the ice. Simone’s pregnancy, Simone’s hold over Dhan.
Clark’s flatmate, Clark’s love, Clark’s lean, buff arms grabbing my wrists to bring me to safety. Clark’s refusal to talk about the events of twenty years ago.
Disclaimer – there’s no guarantee that this list is complete. That's just what I could gather over two decades. Maybe there was more?
The four of them, around a hole in a freezing lake. Lovisa sending me back to the house, the lights going out and Dhan, with no preparation, trying to prove himself, like the clown he always was.
I rested my cheek on my hand and stared into the fire. They could not possibly have planned it, but there was every chance when the opportunity arose, they took it. Perhaps they didn’t kill him, but simply let him die.
Mika broke the silence. “Perhaps it’s time to be completely honest. Lovisa has known for a long time, and I recently told Gael. I loaned Dhan €30,000 as part of a start-up investment in 1998. After his death, I discovered the start-up had failed partly because my money had never reached them. I lost it all. Yesterday evening, when I went to bed, I discovered some chocolate coins under my blanket. Thirty silver chocolate coins. Either Gael or Lovisa has a sick sense of humour, or something strange is going on.”
We all looked at one another for an explanation, but none was forthcoming.
Lovisa was shaking her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Gael and Simone were cooking the fondue. The first time I went to the second floor was this morning, when we went skiing. I would swear neither Gael nor I would do something as unpleasant as that.”
“Please listen to me,” Simone asked, her voice low and serious. “I was thinking about this while you were talking to the police and I think Mika is right. Something bizarre is going on. In my heart, I trust all of you, and I ask you to do the same for me. Before you arrived yesterday afternoon, I saw someone looking through the window. I know you think I make these things up but no. Not hysteria, not paranoia, not Simone dramatics. Someone was there. There were fresh footprints in the snow when the taxi driver dropped my bags.
“The champagne bottle left on the windowsill was Moët et Chandon, just like twenty years ago. The apron in the kitchen has a design of a French maid. Excuse me for giving too much information, but when Dhan and I were into role-play, my costume was a French maid. When we returned from skiing, a child’s ski suit was on the hook. That was not there when we left.” She looked at Lovisa and Mi
ka for agreement.
They both nodded.
Simone continued. “Either one of us is playing some tricks or pranks to frighten the others, which I cannot believe of any one of you, or someone else has a lot more information than I feel comfortable with.”
I looked around the table, each face sharp with concentration. Simone’s conspiracy panic attacks were a familiar pattern to me, but I was genuinely surprised at Mika. Unless my theory was right and guilt was catching up with every one of them. I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Clark.
“Full disclosure. The last two days have freaked me out. Dhan and I were flatmates for two years, but one night, and one night only, we were something more. The night we went to Montreux to see Alanis Morissette, we had sex. We agreed it was a mistake and we would never discuss it again.” He gave me an imploring look. I blinked slowly, the only gesture I could think of to reassure him that his secret was safe with me.
“Last night, the music player was programmed to play Alanis Morissette every third track. I checked it this morning before breakfast. When we were skiing this morning, something was shining in my eyes. You know what it’s like when you ski, sometimes you do capture a reflection. But this was deliberate. Someone was trying to disorient me by shining a light directly into my eyes. It caused me to fall and dislocate my shoulder.”
The atmosphere around the table was so tense that when a log popped in the fireplace, we all jumped. Lovisa laughed and topped up all our glasses.
“We can’t let decent wine go to waste,” she said. “Clark, please go on.”
Clark reached out and tapped his glass to Lovisa’s. “Thanks, Mom. When I got back here, one of the pictures in my bedroom had changed. A pencil sketch of the Alps had been replaced by a photocopy of a news story. The story of ‘Smoke on the Water’, the fire at the casino in Montreux. I didn’t know the background to that song until Dhan told me, that night. And I have other questions. How come a brand-new hire car gets a flat tyre? What’s with all that weird shit on the road? Gael knows as well as I do that was not a deer. Something bigger burst out of the forest into the middle of a snowy road and we hit it. To be honest, all this shit is freaking me out and I wanna cut it short. I’m leaving tomorrow, guys, I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t reach for Clark’s hand as he was cradling his elbow but I stroked his upper arm. “I understand. I’ll drive you to the train station whenever you want to go. And anyone else who’s had enough. Maybe this place wasn’t one of my better ideas.”
Mika fixed Lovisa with an intense stare. “Three of us have had inexplicable experiences. Lovisa, your emotional intelligence is stronger than the rest of us put together. How do you explain this? Are we hypersensitive because of the anniversary, or the remote location or some alignment of the stars? Are our imaginations going wild? Did someone put something in the fondue?”
Lovisa tucked her hair behind her ear and took several deep breaths. “Why now? If our imaginations are creating phenomena we cannot explain, surely that would have happened the year after the event, not twenty years later. In addition, three of you have had peculiar experiences relating to your relationships with Dhan. I have not, and I don’t think Gael would connect the incident on the road to losing our friend two decades previously.”
I didn’t argue with that, although the champagne and the flat tyre seemed bizarre.
“Lovisa, you know ...” Mika started to speak.
He was interrupted by Simone, taking a gasp and clasping her hand to her mouth. Her eyes grew huge, like those of a frightened calf. “I don’t think you’re exempt, Lovisa. Maybe you just missed the signs. Yesterday evening, when I went to bed, someone had written a message on the bathroom mirror. A+. I don’t think that was meant for me.”
Lovisa paled, her eyes narrowing. If it had been me to claim such a thing, she would have refused to believe it. But it was Simone. Her golden girl. She couldn’t even accuse me as she had already asserted I was downstairs cooking fondue.
“Perhaps,” said Lovisa, her tone thoughtful, “there is some guilt presenting itself. Some anger you have not resolved is manifesting itself which you perceive as a malevolent force.”
That I could not allow to slide. “Hang on, Lovisa,” I said. “I think you had a major amount of unresolved anger against Dhan just before he died. I appreciate you may feel you have worked that out, but to be honest, I find your tone a little patronising. Simone was pregnant. Mika lost thirty grand. I’d say you, me and Clark all had reasons to feel angry as well.”
Lovisa’s brow furrowed and she narrowed her eyes. “Simone, Mika and I had grievances, yes. How do you and Clark fit in? You lost a drinking buddy?” Her tone was scathing and struck me like a whiplash.
My head grew hot and I drained my wine glass. I would no longer be patronised by this self-styled maternal figure. She knew hardly any of our secrets and it was time for some truths.
“My drinking buddy and on paper only, my husband-to-be.”
No one moved. Four pairs of eyes stared at me as if I’d transformed into a witch.
“It was a practical thing, that’s all.” I kept my tone light. “Dhan’s family had arranged him a wife and he could not refuse them. She came from a good family and he looked like a decent catch. He was educated, middle-class and a second-generation immigrant. If he refused, he would have broken his family’s heart. The only way he could get out of it was by having her refuse him. And one way of doing that was by becoming a divorcee. He explained the situation and asked if I could help. I’ve got no hang-ups about the whole institution of marriage, so I said yes. We planned to have a quick registry office ceremony when we were both back in Britain at Easter. But Dhan didn’t live that long.”
Simone and Clark stared at me, the same question burning in both pairs of eyes. A charge of power shot through me. It only took twenty years and now it was my turn to spring a surprise. I poured more wine, enjoying my moment.
“Like I say, it was nothing more than a practicality. Dhan and I had a lot of affection for one another, but it certainly wasn’t sexual.” I addressed Simone and Clark. “We never slept together, not even once. In fact, the plan was to file for divorce on precisely that point. Non-consummation of marriage. Quickie divorce, Dhan’s reputation irreparably damaged and the bride-to-be would want nothing more to do with him. Dhan’s reputation as an impulsive hothead made the whirlwind romance story plausible and his parents would eventually forgive him. Two single Brits, no permission required. I was just doing a good mate a favour.”
Simone arched her eyebrows. “A favour for a good mate? Really? Why do I find that hard to believe?”
My anger ballooned into a mushroom cloud and then imploded to a cold tight ball behind my belly button. “Perhaps because you’ve never had a really good mate? Ask yourself this, Simone, have you ever done anything selfless in your life? You can’t believe anyone would do something with no benefit to themselves because you approach people with a transactional mindset. Can this person do something for me? No? In that case, there is no basis for friendship. Simone doesn’t have friends, only interests.”
As I could have predicted, she recoiled with an intake of breath, welled up with tears and turned to Lovisa. “Why is she being so horrible to me?”
Lovisa placed her hands on Simone’s cashmere-clad shoulders with reassuring strokes, which incensed me still further. I took a gulp of wine to fuel yet another broadside but Mika spoke first.
“If someone is trying to scare us, the worst thing we could do is fight amongst ourselves. We have to hold together and face this as a team. My question is, who is doing this? No one outside of this group knows all the detail of our relationships with Dhan. Or at least, I can think of no one.”
The silence continued until I became aware of Clark’s gaze resting on me. “When I got here yesterday, you were wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. In the evening, you had on one of those Nordic jumpers. When did you change?”
My rage, focused as it was
on Simone, took a moment to subside. “I don’t know. Just before we had dinner. You were outside, Mika and Simone were finishing the fondue and I was setting the table. I popped upstairs for a minute to get changed. Why?”
“Right. I was collecting wood and Mika was in the kitchen with Simone. The only people upstairs were you and Lovisa. Both of you knew how much money Mika lost ...”
“But only Gael knew that Dhan stole my translation,” said Lovisa, her voice soft. “She’s the one person who knows what effect it would have to see A+ in the bathroom mirror.”
All eyes turned to me. I stared back and for just a second, I questioned myself. Next thing I knew I was on my feet, pointing at them with a shaking finger, my voice just above a whisper.
“You set of judgemental, over-privileged bastards! Of course you’d all suspect me. I’m the one who never quite fitted in. No money, no connections, no class. It may come as a shock to you, but that is exactly why Dhan trusted me above all the rest of you. He was the only person who didn’t judge. The truth is that Dhan and I were friends because we actually liked each other. The rest of us have nothing more than a regular guilt trip to bind us.”
Clark closed his eyes and shook his head, as if trying to clear it. “Wait, back up there. I have a whole bunch of questions.”
“Oh, do you now?” I shouted. “Well, so do I and tonight I want some answers. You don’t need to tell me why because I worked out your motives for myself. The missing element is how. What I want to know is you four worked together to organise the ‘accident’ that killed Dhan.”