‘I mean, the last time we spoke . . .’
‘I know.’
‘It was awful. Horrendous.’
‘I know.’
‘So . . . if it’s not too rude to ask . . . what made you want to see me?’
She looks everywhere except at me before replying.
‘I felt awful,’ she says, after a pause. ‘Ever since the night of the fundraiser at the de Courceys’. Of course, I was furious with you, we all were, but now that the dust has settled, all I can think about is how lost you looked. How alone and vulnerable. I said to Freddie that you were on my conscience, and I knew I wouldn’t get a minute’s peace till I buried the hatchet with you.’
‘So you’re still seeing Freddie, I take it?’ I smile. Knew it.
‘Absolutely,’ Harriet says, blushing very prettily. ‘We’ve just been away together for a proper two-week holiday – to Croatia, actually. It was magic. Just wonderful.’
‘That’s great news, I’m really happy for you.’
Then she comes back down to earth.
‘Anyway,’ she says, ‘the last thing you need is me here wittering on, when you’re trying to do a day’s work.’
‘No,’ I say, genuinely interested, ‘tell me all your news. I really do want to know. How are all the de Courceys? Including the delightful Ellen?’
‘The same as ever,’ Harriet says, pulling a tiny face. ‘I’ve met Freddie’s grandmother a good few times now, and it’s like the nicer I am to her, the more bolshie she is back to me. As my mam says, I can’t do right for doing wrong. But it’s fine, honestly. Freddie and I just giggle about it afterwards. And his grandfather seems to have got this whole new lease of life – he’s a dote, we get on so well. He even offered me a job working with the de Courcey charity group, but I said thanks, but no thanks.’
‘You want to stand on your own two feet,’ I nod approvingly. ‘Good for you.’
‘I’ve got another job now,’ Harriet chats away, ‘with a government aid agency, so yes, like you say, standing on my own two feet. Freddie is well too – he and I are actually talking about moving into a flat together soon, isn’t that amazing?’
‘I’m delighted for you, Harriet,’ I smile warmly. ‘I sincerely mean that.’
‘And you should see him with his grandmother these days! He’s so much stronger and more assertive when he’s dealing with her now, like a whole new man.’
So I was right then, I think. The night of that awful fundraiser. Freddie de Courcey has finally developed guts.
‘Anyway, the main reason I’m here,’ she goes on, ‘is just to tell you . . . well . . . that there’s no hard feelings from me. I said a lot of harsh things to you that night, and I really did come to regret them afterwards. Because I don’t think you’re a bad person, Meg. In spite of everything. I just think you got in above your head – it’s like you were totally seduced by the lifestyle you could afford by . . . by doing what you did.’
‘Well, thank you,’ I say, taking the olive branch in the spirit in which it is offered. ‘That’s good to know. Right now, I certainly need all the good wishes I can get.’
‘So what are your plans long term?’ Harriet asks, looking at me worriedly.
‘I’m doing a course at night,’ I fill her in. ‘In theatre studies, can you believe it?’
‘As a matter of fact,’ she says slowly, ‘I can. You’d suit the theatre world, Meg. In fact, you’d be brilliant. And if you’re ever in a show, you know Freddie and I will come and support you.’
‘Thank you,’ I tell her, really touched, mainly because I know she means it. ‘Anyway, working here is just to keep my head above water, cash-wise. You’d be amazed how much the legal action against Ellen de Courcey ended up costing me.’
‘Well, good for you,’ Harriet smiles. ‘I know you wouldn’t dream of going back to your old ways again. Back to getting rid of people for a living. You’ve learned your lesson there, I hope.’
I take a moment to really think about what she’s just said.
I think of the long line of women back in the staffroom. Just waiting to talk to me, to pick my brains, to get my advice, to find out how unwanted people can be airbrushed from the picture.
For a moment, I think of going back to my old ways. Of a very lucrative new little client base that’s actually right here, just waiting for me. All the women I’ve met since coming to work here, who mightn’t be able to pay the kind of money I’ve been used to – but, what the hell, work is work, and that kind of work, I know I can do standing on my head. Even the theatre studies course I’m doing at night could only be a help to me, in this particular line of work.
The Fixer could be ready for her Act Two.
It’s tempting . . . but then I pause for a moment to think. I think how high I flew and how spectacularly I fell. I think how nice it would be to go straight, as it were. To live an ordinary, normal life and forge ordinary, normal relationships with ordinary, normal people. No more ducking and diving. No more lying for a living. No more deceit.
‘You don’t need to worry about me,’ I say to Harriet, as my name is called out over the tannoy, to get to the homewares department on the third floor urgently. ‘I’ll be just fine, thanks.’
We say our goodbyes, promising to stay in touch. Harriet gives me a big, warm hug and I watch after her as she jumps onto the escalator, down to the main entrance door and out of my life.
When I get to the homewares department, I’m put on the tills and Suzie is there ahead of me. ‘You’re smiling,’ she says to me, teasingly. ‘So who was it who wanted to see you? Another girlfriend, maybe?’
‘Not at all,’ I grin back at her. ‘I’m smiling because . . . it’s like a weight I didn’t even know I was carrying, has lifted.’
I don’t get to explain any further, as I turn to serve a hassled-looking woman with three screaming children, who’s trying to buy a duvet set in our deeply discounted bed linen range.
But I know one thing. It’s time for me to rebuild. Rebrand. Work my way out of here and start afresh. I think back to a year ago, when I was living in the lap of luxury, with not two seconds to myself to enjoy it. I may be back living at home now, but I’m far, far closer to my mum than I’ve ever been. I went from having no friends at all, to having a whole roomful of people fighting over who gets to talk to me.
And maybe, just maybe, I’ve actually found someone who seems to like me for me. Best of all? I think I like me, for me. I know who I am now.
The Fixer is finally getting fixed.
‘You have a great day now,’ I beam at this poor, stressed-looking mother, handing over her change.
And for the first time in as long as I can remember, the smile on my face is genuine.
Acknowledgements
Thank you, Marianne Gunn O’Connor. Always and for everything.
Thank you, Pat Lynch – love our movie chats!
Thank you, Vicki Satlow.
Thank you, Sarah Bauer, the kind of editor you dream about.
Thank you Katie Lumsden and Katie Meegan.
Thank you, Perminder Mann and Kate Parkin.
Thank you (and congratulations!) Francesca Russell.
Thank you Stephen Dumughn, Jenna Petts, Felice McKeown, Grace Brown, Elise Burns, Stuart Finglass, Mark Williams, Nico Poilblanc, Vincent Kelleher, Sophie Hamilton, Margaret Stead, Kelly Smith, Alex May, Laura Makela and Alexandra Schmidt. I couldn’t be happier or more grateful to be a part of Team Bonnier.
Thank you, Simon Hess and his wonderful team, Helen McKean, Declan Heeney, Eamonn Phelan and Gill Hess.
Well, hello everyone!
What a joy it is to be able to write to you all. It’s so wonderful to be able to chat to you all directly like this, isn’t it? And what a pleasure it is to tell you all about what’s been going on at this end. I am crazy excited about The Fixer, so I really hope that you’ve enjoyed it.
When I was first planning this book, I thought I’d love to
write about an anti-heroine for once. A real baddie. A right piece of work. The kind of person who’s all sweetness and light to your face, but who’d cut you to shreds the minute your back is turned. Did you ever come across anyone like that in your life? I certainly hope not! But there are people out there who can manipulate and lie, yet still charm the birds from the trees.
Which is very much the sort of character I wanted to write about – and so, Meg Monroe was born! She is everyone’s friend, Miss Popular, the charismatic type of person. However, this is very much a woman with an agenda.
From the beginning, I knew I wanted to write about what happens when she becomes tangled in her own web of lies. I won’t tell you much, in case you’ve skipped to the end to read this, but a blast from her past arrives and threatens to derail Meg’s carefully constructed life.
Can I talk about the cover? I think it’s my favourite cover yet. And that’s really saying something. I’ve loved the covers for all my books, but because this story is quite different, I knew the cover would have to be, too. But my publishers pulled it out of the bag – as I knew they would – with this gorgeous cover. Isn’t it just brilliant? It is so bright and vibrant, it reminds me of those old rhubarb and custard sweets – delicious!
That’s not all I have to tell you. In very exciting news, my book, The Secrets of Primrose Square, has been adapted for the stage and is in production as I write this. Even better, it will be filmed as a stage show to be streamed everywhere – I am beside myself with excitement! I wrote the adaptation myself, which was such a wonderful experience. I was thrilled to see it come to life onstage and promise to be in touch with you as about when and how you can stream the play. As we say in Dublin, me poor nerves!
Finally, I’d love to tell you all about my Readers’ Club. We all love to read, don’t we? Sure, that’s why we’re here! And what’s even better than a great book? The inside scoop on one, the bits that only a select few dedicated readers get to read. Which is why the good folk at Bonnier Towers came up with an absolute diamond of an idea: my very own Readers’ Club.
My Readers’ Club is full of exclusive content that you’ll love, and my job is to make sure that if you sign up, you won’t regret it. Head over to www.bit.ly/ClaudiaCarroll to join, and you’ll get access to a free short story by yours truly. Of course, all your information is entirely confidential.
I really do hope you’ll enjoy the little extra treats I’ve included in My Readers’ Club and until then, feel free to review the book on Amazon or Goodreads, or on social media – because it’s always good to talk books, isn’t it?!
Fondest wishes to you all, THANK YOU for reading this little letter, and of course, as ever, happy reading,
Claudia xxx
About the Author
Claudia loves to write about ordinary women who find themselves in extraordinary situations, and to date, has written about three love affairs, five crazy mothers, two fractured sibling relationships, one cancelled wedding, a recovering alcoholic, two stately homes, one vicious stepmother and not forgetting countless failed ‘goes’ at online dating.
As a bestselling author, Claudia has published sixteen novels. Four of her books have been optioned – two for movies and two for TV. Her books regularly reach number one in Ireland, they’re widely translated, and in the UK, she’s a Sunday Times bestseller.
In 2018, she published The Secrets of Primrose Square and the stage adaptation marks Claudia’s debut as a playwright. During Covid lockdown, the book was one of the top ten downloaded books across all genres, both in Ireland and the UK.
Claudia is crazy excited about this, her new book and is particularly thrilled with the cover, which is so feck-off gorgeous, she wants to have it made into a t-shirt.
@carrollclaudia
@claudiacarrollbooks
If you enjoyed The Fixer, you’ll love Claudia’s other books…
First published in the UK in 2021 by Zaffre
This ebook edition published in 2021 by
ZAFFRE
An imprint of Bonnier Books UK
4th Floor, Victoria House, Bloomsbury Square, London WC1B 4DA
Owned by Bonnier Books
Sveavägen 56, Stockholm, Sweden
Copyright © Claudia Carroll, 2021
Cover design by The Brewster Project
The moral right of Claudia Carroll to be identified as Author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organisations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 978-1-83877-395-3
Hardback ISBN: 978-1-83877-392-2
This ebook was created by IDSUK (Data Connection) Ltd
Zaffre is an imprint of Bonnier Books UK
www.bonnierbooks.co.uk
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