His brows furrow in confusion, his nostrils flare at my reaction to him.
“Listen, my parents have done a lot for me since they came into my life. I won’t deny it; I’ve been fortunate to have been adopted by them at fifteen years old. It’s not easy when you’re an orphaned teenager when everyone else wants new babies who aren’t lugging around their past baggage. Trust me when I say, I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth with all my wants and needs given to me like I’m some spoiled little brat. I heard what you went through growing up with a single parent, the hardships you faced, but unlike you, I didn’t have anyone else to look after me. I didn’t have a brother or a mom who fought for me. I had myself, that’s it!”
He takes a step toward me, reaching for my hand, realizing the error of his words. He thought he knew me. He assumed based on what was said at dinner, and he was wrong. The look on his face, the genuine remorse is enough for me to know he is sorry, but it has gone too far. The damage is done.
I don’t see a way out of this now.
“I think you should go.”
“Wait. No. I think we should talk about this.”
“What’s there to talk about? You seem to have it all figured out, right? You know everything there is to know about me. I proved to you how wrong you were, and I’m done now. I don’t have anything more to say.”
“Will you stop?”
“Stop what, Colson? Stop. What?” I punctuate each word with a pop before reaching down, unhooking the straps on my heels, toeing them off in the process.
“You always push me away. Anytime I think we’re getting somewhere, you put your walls back up. Can you please talk to me?”
“You’re right, Colson. We lived two vastly different lives, but I’ve never made assumptions for you or about how you felt. Since the moment we first met, you’ve been trying to think for me, make decisions for me. I can make decisions for myself, and I want you to go.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, reaching for my hand. Even feeling his hands on me now, my resistance is beginning to crumble, but I know I need space.
When I’m close to him, when I touch him, I can’t think straight. Taking a step back, I put some distance between us. Rubbing my fingers over my forehead, I massage the skin, trying to ease the pulse thrumming underneath.
So much is swirling through my mind, and I need some time to think. We’re both running high on emotions and need to call a time-out.
“I’m going to give you space. I can tell this is what you need.” My eyes glance up at him. He’s doing it again. Trying to read me and, I don’t know why, but it only annoys me further. He holds his hand up. “I think we both need space right now. I know I made assumptions, and I’m sorry. I’m going to give you some time, but we’re going to talk about this again.”
I don’t want to argue with him right now. I fully expect him not to bother once he walks out the door. What reason does he have to keep trying? Time and space won’t change the fact sooner or later he’s going to walk away, like most of the people in my life have.
I need to protect myself, my job, and everything I’ve worked so hard for. When he does walk away, I won’t allow him to take all those things with him.
He rubs his thumb over the side of my hand, where our fingers still entwine. Glancing down at our joined hands, I let out a heavy breath before I look up at him.
“I’m serious, Sydney. I’m giving you time, but it’s only time. Sooner or later, the time is going to run out, and I’m going to be back here. We’re going to talk about this.”
I nod.
He reaches his hand out, pressing it softly against the side of my face before he leans forward and kisses my cheek. His mouth lingers near my face as I tilt my head to the side, feeling his warm breath against my heated skin.
“I’m not walking away from you. I won’t give up on us either.”
He squeezes my fingers again, pressing another kiss against my cheek before he pulls back. He flashes me a sad smile, clenching his clothes in his hands, and turning to walk out the door.
All I can think at this moment is how badly I wish he were telling the truth.
Chapter Fourteen
Rush
After the fight, I gave Sydney some time and left her alone. At first, I believed it would only be a few days, but then it became painfully clear she was evading me. I tried stopping by her place on the mornings when I thought she’d still be home, only to have my knocks go unanswered. I started making trips into the office before practice to see if I could spot her, but her door was always closed or her light was off.
Over a week had passed since I last spoke to her and we had agreed to some space, but I still couldn’t manage to see her.
Coach must’ve picked up on something being off between us when he stopped me after practice today, asking if I’d spoken to her. When I told him I hadn’t, he simply nodded his head and waved me off with a thanks.
I wasn’t in any rush to get home from practice tonight, so I opted to shower and get cleaned up in the locker room. Some nights when I’m not feeling sociable, I’ll grab my stuff and head straight home. Then there are days like today, where I feel like nothing is pushing me to leave except the fact I can’t stay here forever.
A couple of my teammates invited me out for some wings and to watch some football, but I declined, making up an excuse of having other plans. In the back of my mind, I’m still hoping if I stop by her place on my way home, she’ll be there.
Except, with my luck lately, it likely wouldn’t happen.
She’s ignoring me now, pushing me away. She’s been doing this since we first met, but a part of me hopes she’ll ease up and loosen the tension. I don’t give up on the idea that sooner or later the resistance will eventually ease, and she’ll let me in.
She’s worth the fight. She’s always been worth it.
After I shower and clean up, I shove all my shit into my gym bag and check my phone. Jairo had texted me, letting me know he is outside the arena ready to give me a lift back to my place. Pocketing my phone, I adjust my bag on my shoulder and wave off my teammates.
“C’mon, man, you sure you don’t want to join us for some wings tonight?” Kinnick asks as he finishes lacing up his shoes. He leans back against his locker as Jaxsen comes walking in.
“Yeah, man. It’ll be a good time. I’m sure you could find yourself a woman, too. They tend to flock there on Saturday nights when there’s football on. They know the Blaze come to hang out,” Wild says, raising his brows suggestively.
Jaxsen Wild and Miles Kinnick are two guys on the team I’ve bonded with the most since moving to Miami. A niggling thought in the back of my mind has me wondering why I’m not going out with the guys? It’s likely Sydney won’t be home or even answer the door if I try, and then I’ll be left with nothing else to do.
Except, it is the weekend, and I want to take advantage of even the slightest chance I might see her and be able to smooth over everything between us.
“Rain check? The next time you guys go, let me know. You can count me in.”
“All right,” Kinnick sighs, shaking his head. “You could always tell Sydney to come meet us, ya know?”
“Yeah, I’m sure the other guys will be bringing their girlfriends with them, too.”
“What?” I say, caught off guard. How do they know I’ve been seeing Sydney?
“Coach Carr’s daughter. You’ve been seeing each other, right? I only brought up the whole picking up a woman thing because I’m still waiting for you to finally admit it.”
Running my hand over the back of my neck, I massage the muscles attempting to ease the tension. How do I begin to explain to them what this is without upsetting her?
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated? Bro, I’ve seen the way she looks at you.” He chuckles. “Can’t be that complicated.”
Laughing, I shake my head. She’d love knowing that although she tries to hide it, even the guys are picking up on t
he fact there’s something going on between us. Clearly, we aren’t as sly as we believed we were.
“Listen, you seeing each other is not a problem. I heard her talking to her dad the other day, and he’s certainly not bothered by it, so call her up. Tell her you’re on your way to get her, and we’ll see you there.”
“Yeah, I don’t think it will work out tonight but give me a rain check. I’ll bring her with me the next time, for sure.”
“You got it. Get out of here then,” Wild says, raising his hand to shoo me away.
I adjust my bag and give a wave over my shoulder before heading out. Jairo is parked near the front, waiting for me to exit. Cars are scarce in the lot since most of the team has already left for the night.
Jairo must notice I’m not in the mood to talk, or maybe he isn’t either. The drive back to the apartment is dull. I scroll through my newsfeed, reading articles speculating over upcoming trades as preseason comes to an end.
It’s after seven by the time we make it back to my apartment. I nod at Antonio walking through the lobby, making a beeline for the elevator. Just as I’m about to push the button for the fourteenth floor, a hand shoots out between the doors, pushing them back open.
I quickly hit the button to open the doors, coming face-to-face with the woman who’s been on my mind for the past week. Sydney runs into the elevator, nearly collapsing against the wall on the opposite side, holding a hand against her chest as she takes in a deep breath.
“Hi,” she says. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wait for the elevator to come back down. I didn’t—” She pauses when she sees me.
She hadn’t realized it was me in the elevator. If she had, she probably would’ve waited for the next lift.
“No problem,” I say, punching the button to our floor.
The long ride up is spent in total silence, but as each second ticks by, my thoughts eat at me. My mind swirls around, wondering if she plans to continue to dodge me or if she’ll finally let me talk to her.
I’m sick of this cat and mouse game. I want us to sit down and talk about this, like two grown adults. No more running. No more hiding from what we are thinking or feeling.
As soon as we reach our floor, I stand back and let her walk out. The urge to stop her and ask her to talk to me is simmering below the surface, except I’m sick of being the one to initiate the conversations.
I follow behind her as she walks toward her door. My footsteps slow as she reaches her door, knowing this is my only opportunity. Isn’t this why I declined plans to head to the bar to meet up with my teammates?
I sense her hesitation when she holds her key near the lock, ready to enter before she stops.
“Colson,” she sighs, halting my footsteps as I shoulder past her.
Stopping, I turn slightly to glance at her over my shoulder.
“You have plans tonight?” she asks quietly.
I consider telling her I did, how I was planning on going out and meeting up with the guys. It would sound totally pathetic to admit I was planning on staying home alone. However, I know her well enough that if she knew I had plans, she’d drop it entirely. I decide to see what she’ll say and roll with it.
“I debated ordering takeout and watching some football, but that’s about it.”
“Oh, um…” She pauses, running her teeth over her lower lip, contemplating.
“What’s on your mind, Syd?”
“Well, if you want, maybe you could stop over, and we could order takeout together? You know, talk. I wouldn’t mind watching some football, too.”
I get the feeling Sydney doesn’t let her walls down and show vulnerability with anyone. If she tries to push you away, it’s going to take a lot for her to give you another chance. The fact she’s taking the initiative now, means we are finally getting somewhere.
“I was hoping you’d ask.” I smile, taking the few steps separating us to join her. “How about Chinese? There’s this place I know. Apparently, they have the best Chinese in town.”
“I think I’ve heard of the place.” She grins, remembering our first night together.
The smile curving the edge of her lips doesn’t escape my notice when she turns back to unlock her door. She lets out a slow but heavy breath as if the weight of the question finally eases some of the tension we’ve both been feeling.
I shed my bag near the entrance, while we both toe off our shoes. Following behind her into her living room, I wrap my hands around her hips, stopping her before she takes a seat on her couch.
I turn her to face me, wrapping my arms around her waist, guiding her into my arms. This time, she comes easily, and I can’t help but feel like something has shifted in her.
She is letting her walls down with me now as she runs her hands up my arms and around my neck.
“I missed you,” I murmur against her ear.
“I know,” she sighs. “I missed you, too.”
Pressing my hand against the side of her face, I tilt my head back enough to look her in the eyes. This time I don’t stop or wait. I kiss her with so much passion and intensity, all the frustration and emotion from the past few days rain down around us. She hooks her arms around my neck, yanking me closer to her. Running my hands down her sides, gripping her hips, I kiss her like I’ll never get the chance to kiss her again.
The thought crosses my mind how I don’t want this to be about the physical part of our relationship. We’ve had the chemistry down since we first met. We need to sort through the rest of it, but I can’t resist kissing her.
My fingers dig into her thigh when she hitches her leg over my hip. I rub my thigh over the front of her pussy. A moan escapes her mouth and the sound nearly has me coming out of my pants. When she reaches her hand down between us, rubbing over where my dick begs to be set free, all my worries and hesitations are washed away.
“Rush,” she groans, leaning her head back.
I’m like a starved man, desperate to ravage every inch of her gorgeous body. I love watching how Sydney reacts to me, the way her cheeks turn rosy, her fair skin and freckles highlighting every nip and mark I leave on her.
Each nip has her digging her fingers into my chest, clutching onto my forearms as she grinds her pussy against me, desperately holding on.
“I need to feel you right now.”
Running my hand underneath her shirt, I find her skin warm from her arousal. Her body trembles when my fingers skate across the edge of her pants, dipping down beneath the waistband, clutching her ass in my hand.
“Please,” she moans, her movements growing more frantic now.
“You want me to touch you?”
“Please.” This time the word resembles more of a sigh.
Yanking my hand from her pants, I turn her so her back is pressed against my chest. She leans her head against my shoulder, her slender frame molding to me like we are made for one another.
Without bothering to unbutton her pants, I slip my hand beneath her panties, rubbing over the front of her pussy. The move sends her ass grinding against me. Her eyes squeeze shut as she wraps her hand around my forearm, desperately searching for something to hold onto.
“Tell me this is what you want,” I groan. “Tell me you’re mine.”
She blinks her eyes open, her stare locking with mine. I wait, watching for any sign of what she’s about to say. My finger on her clit, I halt my movement, ready to pull back.
This is it. The moment where we draw the lines, and I hate I’ve asked her this question with my hand down her pants, but if this is all she wants from me, then this will be it.
It’s as though there’s a lump caught in my throat, waiting for her to respond. Anything. Each second that ticks by feels like an eternity.
Her eyes flick from mine, down to my mouth. She rakes her teeth over her bottom lip, her eyes growing distant for a brief second before peering back up at me.
“I’m yours.” A smirk plays on the corner of her mouth, and she adds, “Now make sure I never forget it.”
>
Chapter Fifteen
Sydney
Flicking the light off in the bathroom, I’m careful not to make any noise as my feet pad across the hardwood floor. Colson’s body takes up nearly every inch of my bed, stretching from the headboard to where his feet are precariously close to dangling off the end.
I stare at his sleeping form, the way his arm is curled under his head, the white sheet draped over his waist. For a moment, my mind drifts to what happened earlier tonight. The visual has me biting my lower lip, contemplating all the ways I could wake him up.
“You’re staring…” he murmurs, my eyes darting up to his. They’re closed, but his breathtaking grin stretches across his face.
The alarm clock behind him flashes the time. It’s nearly four in the morning, and like usual, I’m unable to sleep. Growing up in and out of different homes, I was conditioned not to sleep for more than three hours at a time. Depending on where I stayed, there were some places I didn’t sleep for more than an hour without waking up. I also learned never to sleep with your back facing the door.
I guess you could say I’ve had one too many unwanted visitors to let myself be so vulnerable. The fact Colson is here, asleep in my bed, says a lot about how much I trust him.
He rubs his hand over the empty space next to him, where I was lying before. My mind flashes back to the conversation with my father earlier today when he stopped by my office as I was about to leave.
“You headin’ out for the day?” my dad asked as I was shutting the door to my office behind me.
I hadn’t seen him right away, which said a lot. He towered over me, standing nearly six-and-a-half feet tall. He wasn’t easy to hide, but he had a habit of coming up behind me when I least expected him.
“Yeah, I got everything done, so I thought I’d take the rest of the day off.”
“Why’s that?”
I hadn’t thought through how I was going to explain this to him. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, Dad. I’ve been seeing one of your players, and now I’m trying to avoid him.
Personal Foul: A Sports Office Standalone Romance Page 9