“You can't,” she let out, as she pulled away and reached up to wipe her new tears away. “You know that, right? You can't go there. It would only make it worse, so much worse.”
I pulled her back in again, and we stood silent for a moment.
“He can think whatever the fuck he wants, but it's wrong of him to say it in front of Noah,” I said, as I looked over at the kids from over her head. “He's been through enough already.”
“I know,” she said. “I'm doing the best I can. I don't know why he can't see that.”
I pulled back and lifted her chin so I could look into her eyes when I spoke again.
“You're doing amazing,” I said, and I meant it. “Don't you let him make you feel like you're not. You are doing everything you can to give that little boy the best life possible, and you're doing a great job of it. He's awesome. Look at him.”
We both looked toward the kids as they played.
“He is, isn't he?” she asked, more to herself than to me.
“He sure is,” I said. “You should be proud. You're raising him alone and getting an education. I'm proud of you. He's proud of you. You should be proud of you too.”
She nodded, but there was still sadness in her eyes.
“The kid said he stuck up for me. He said you did too. I was kind of surprised by that after what you'd text me.”
“About that,” she said. “I swear I don't think that way. I was just worried about my parents. It didn't give me the right to take it out on you. Please forgive me.”
I wiped away the fresh tears from her eyes but hadn't had a chance to respond before we heard Noah from the other side of the fence.
“You okay?” he asked, with concern in his tone.
“Yeah,” she said, as she pulled away from me. “I'm okay.”
“Come play with us,” Noah said.
“Yeah, Gracie,” I said. “Let's go play with them.”
I heard Ava gasp and quickly looked over to make sure she was okay. Her hand was covering her mouth, and her eyes were wide.
“You just called her Gracie,” she said, as she looked at me in shock.
“I sure did, Princess,” I said, as I gave her a wink, and her eyes widened even more.
I grabbed Grace by the hand and pulled her behind me.
“I missed it,” Grace whispered from behind me, as we walked around the fence.
“Missed what?” I asked, as I stopped but didn't turn around, feeling totally shocked by her admission but totally lost as to what she meant.
“The messages and the coffee,” she said, and I could tell she was smiling even though I couldn't see her. “Oh, and breakfast. It just wasn't the same.”
I nodded but didn't say a word, knowing that I'd never let her miss anything again.
Chapter 24
Grace
That night, when I was getting into bed, I decided not to wait for Sawyer. Instead, I picked up my phone and typed out a message to him.
Me: You busy tomorrow?
His reply came instantly.
Sawyer: Me?
Me: Yes!
Sawyer: What do you have in mind?
Me: Not what you think. It's totally G rated.
Sawyer: I'm cool with that. What is it?
Me: So you won't know if you're busy until after I tell you?
Sawyer: There's no way I'm saying yes only to find out you're going to do something to make me embarrass myself.
Me: That sounds fun, but I was just going to offer to make you lunch so we could catch up a little.
Sawyer: Sounds like a plan. What time?
Me: Noon.
Sawyer: Do you need me to bring anything?
Me: Nope. Just your smiling face.
Sawyer: And my sexy body?
Me: What part of G rated did you miss?
Sawyer: Oh, yeah. Sorry! I'll be on my best behavior.
Me: Promise?
Sawyer: Promise. I'll be there.
I fell asleep looking forward to the next day, and I actually slept the whole night.
When Sawyer showed up at my door wearing tight black jeans over those damn boots and an equally tight t-shirt, I couldn't stop myself from looking him over.
“Eyes up here,” he said, as he reached out and lifted my chin. “You want me on my best behavior, than you can't look at me like I'm lunch. G rated, remember? Your rule.”
“Shut up!” I said, as I looked into his sexy brown eyes. “Don't flatter yourself.”
As I turned and walked away, leaving him standing at my door, I heard his words come from behind me.
“You were totally eye fucking me, but you can deny it if it makes you feel better.”
“Have a seat,” I yelled back toward him, as I headed to the kitchen, pretending to ignore his last comment. “Food will be out in a second.”
“This looks awesome,” he said, as I set a plate with a burger, fries, and salad down in front of him before setting mine on the table as well.
“Do you have?” he began, but I cut him off.
“Ketchup, mayo, and cheese, or has that changed?” I asked.
“No,” he said, as he smiled. “That's actually one thing that's stayed the same.”
“Would you like a drink?” I asked. “I don't have much to choose from. I have beer and some wine.”
“No!” he answered, a little louder than I had expected. “Thanks though. I don't drink.”
What? His pictures were all from bars, and in some of them, he'd definitely been drinking.
“Anymore,” he added quickly, cutting off any chance I had of asking. “I'll take a glass of water though.”
Without a word, I got up and walked to the kitchen. What the heck was I supposed to do with the beer I'd bought for him? I poured two glasses of water and headed back to the table and sat down, setting one in front of him and one in front of me.
“This is really good,” he said, as he bit into his burger.
“Thank you,” I replied, before taking a bite of my own.
“I don't suck off my sister,” he said.
There it was. I knew there was no way it had gone away that easily.
“I know,” I said. “I really am sorry. That should never have been said. You didn't do anything to deserve that.”
“You're right,” he said. “I didn't. It's bad enough your dad thinks I'm a loser. Knowing you think that way too really pisses me off.”
“I don't,” I said. “I really don't.”
“I saved most of my money while I was in the service,” he said, as he looked over at me. “I don't live with Julia because I can't afford a place of my own.”
“Sawyer,” I said, and he held up his hand.
“No,” he said. “I need to say this. I live with her because of Ava, and I know she needs the help. I could pay cash for a house right now if I wanted to. I just got here. I want to be there for everything they need right now. I wasn't here for them before, and that was wrong. Once I know she's okay, I'll move out.”
“You mean on,” I whispered without thinking.
“No!” he said, as he shook his head. “There is no moving on. This is it for me, right here.”
Here, I thought, as I quickly stood up and walked toward the kitchen to have a moment to breathe. He didn't mean right here in this house, not with me and my child. He meant this town. He was staying in town.
“I meant you,” I heard his voice come from behind me, and when I turned, he was right there.
His hand came up and wrapped around the back of my neck, and before I knew it, he'd pulled me closer.
“Sawyer,” I whispered, trying with everything in me to pull away but not being able to.
When his lips crashed down on mine and he kissed me with more feeling than I'd ever been kissed before, my hands dove into his hair, grabbing hold, trying to hold on for dear life. When he stepped forward, I stepped back until I hit the counter and had nowhere else to go.
“G rated, Sawyer,” I said against his lips, w
hen he stepped forward again and I felt his hardness against me. “You have no idea how hard this is.”
“Me?” he asked, and I could feel him smirk against my lips.
“Not just you,” I answered, reaching down and grabbing his hips.
When my phone rang, I jumped and pushed him away, moving quickly to grab it.
“What?” he asked, and I could tell he was upset. “You expecting someone better on there?”
“It's the school. Hello,” I said, as I hit accept on the call and answered it. After a moment of them speaking, I spoke again. “Okay, I'll be right there.”
“I have to go,” I said, just as I hung up.
“You have to go?” he asked suspiciously. “How did you know it was the school?”
“I had my phone set so they were the only ones that could get through,” I answered, as I walked around him toward my front door and began shoving my feet into my shoes. “Noah's sick. They said he has the flu. He was fine when I dropped him off.”
Once my shoes were on, I turned back toward him.
“You have to leave,” I said, as I grabbed my keys, purse, and phone and threw open my screen door.
“Grace,” he yelled out after me from the top of my porch steps. “This isn't it. We will be together.”
“Be gone when we get back,” I yelled back toward him.
As I drove toward the school to get my son, I thought about Sawyer's words. Then I thought about mine. They came out much harsher than I'd meant for them to, and I had no idea how he'd taken them. I'd been so worried about getting to Noah and getting him home. I hadn't thought about how Sawyer would feel.
“Shit,” I let out, as I got out of my car and hurried into the school. “Way to go, Grace.”
I got Noah into the car and headed home, the whole time not sure what I would find when we got there. Part of me didn't want to deal with Noah questioning why Sawyer was there, while another big part of me didn't want him gone.
As I rounded the corner onto my road, I got my answer. He'd just pulled out of my driveway and was riding away. I wanted, with everything in me, to call him and tell him to come back, but I knew I couldn't do it. I needed to concentrate on taking care of Noah.
As I unlocked the front door and opened it, I thought about the plates and hoped that Noah wouldn't notice the second plate. When we stepped inside and I looked toward the table, a huge relief washed over me. Sawyer had taken care of it. He'd thought of everything. I couldn't help but smile and send him a silent thank you, hoping everything was okay between us.
Chapter 25
Sawyer
As soon as she was out the door, I started moving, and I didn't stop until everything from the table was in the kitchen and put away. I wrapped her food up and put it in the refrigerator for her for later. Did I leave my food? Not a crumb. I wrapped it up and headed for the front door.
As I rode away from her house, I saw her car behind me in the mirror on my bike. I'd made it just in time.
Was I happy about her wanting me gone? Hell no, but I got it. After what Noah had heard his grandfather say that Sunday and everything the little boy had been through, there was no way I wanted to do anything to confuse him or make things difficult for him. Add to that him being sick, and I knew it was definitely time for me to go. He needed his mom, and she needed to focus all of her energy on taking care of him. If I was there when they walked in, there's no way that would have happened.
I thought about Noah and knew what I needed to do, so I headed toward the closest good restaurant. Once I had what I needed, I rode right back to her house. When I got there, I got off my bike, grabbed the bag, and pulled out my phone.
Me: Thanks for lunch. How is Noah?
Gracie: Thank you for cleaning up. I'm sorry about lunch. He has a fever and is feeling rough. We're getting ready to change into our pajamas and watch a movie.
Me: Don't worry. You can make it up to me. Is he hungry?
Gracie: A little.
Me: Open your door.
Gracie: Sawyer.
Me: Just open the damn thing.
When the door in front of me opened, I knew what was coming, and I cut that shit right off.
“I know,” I said. “You don't need any help. I got that, but I'm not helping. I'm taking care of things. There's a difference. I wasn't sure what he'd be in the mood for, so I got some of my sick kid favorites. He has soup, grilled cheese, fries, cake, pudding, and jello to choose from.”
I handed her the bag. Then I leaned in and kissed her forehead before turning around and heading down her porch steps toward my bike. I pulled my helmet down over my head. Then I turned around and got on my bike. When I looked up toward her door, she was still standing there, staring back at me.
“Turn that sweet ass around and go feed the boy,” I said.
Then I started my bike, turned it around, rode down her driveway, and turned out onto the road with a smile on my face the whole time.
I left her alone for the rest of the evening, and as I got under my covers for the night, she was all I could think about. Sure, I'd done something for her, but that wasn't enough. I wanted to do more, to be more, and it was going to happen. Eventually, she was going to give in. There was no other option. I wouldn't let there be.
Chapter 26
Grace
Noah was home sick the next three days. Each morning, there was a knock, and when I opened the door, I found Sawyer with coffee and breakfast on the other side. Each evening, I heard the same knock, and on the other side of the door, I found Sawyer delivering dinner. Throughout those days, I'd gotten text messages asking if we needed medicine or anything from the store, and each time I'd replied that we were fine. He was already doing so much, and I truly appreciated it, but there was no way I was asking him for one more thing.
I wanted to invite him in each and every time, but I didn't. I knew better. Part of me was worried that he'd get sick, and I couldn't have that. It wouldn't be right. Another part of me didn't trust either one of us. I was exhausted, and the thought of being wrapped in his arms as I nodded off to sleep was one I knew I couldn't entertain but also wouldn't turn down.
Each night, he sent a text. The first two were short and sweet, but the third had turned into a four hour long conversation that I really enjoyed. It kept me up much later than it should have, but it was nice to go back and forth with normal, clean talk about our day to day lives. It was definitely something I knew I could get used to. Sawyer was turning out to be a really nice guy, and as I closed my eyes that night, I couldn't wait to hear from him again.
I jumped when I heard a noise, and I looked around. Noah was in bed next to me. How had I missed him crawling in under my covers? The noise came again, and I looked over at the clock on my nightstand, realizing that someone was knocking on my front door. It was noon. How could noon have come so quickly, and how was I still in bed? I let out a sigh as I pulled the covers back and forced myself to get out of bed.
When I swung the front door open, I instantly closed my eyes, shielding them from the bright sunlight. Then I heard him laugh.
“Were you seriously still in bed?” Sawyer asked, and I opened my eyes just enough to see him standing there with bags in his arms.
I nodded my head and moved aside, as I motioned for him to come in. He walked by me and headed straight for the kitchen. Without an ounce of energy, I closed my door, walked over to my table, flopped down into a chair, and let my head fall down onto my arms.
“You were up as late as I was,” I said, when he walked back toward the table. “How are you so chipper?”
When he let out another laugh, I turned my head and opened my left eye, looking up at him.
“You learn to function under all sorts of conditions in the service,” he said. “Where's Noah?”
“In my bed asleep,” I said, as I yawned, not caring in the slightest bit what I looked like.
“I thought he was feeling better,” he said. “Is everything okay?”
&nbs
p; “He is,” I answered. “He must have needed the sleep.”
I closed my eye and put my head back down into my arms, sealing out all the light.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, in a muffled tone.
“You never got to shop this week, and I'm sure you're tired of takeout, so I brought a few things to make breakfast.”
“If I'm being honest, it felt amazing not to have to cook,” I said. “Thank you for that by the way.”
“Not a problem,” he said.
“Sawyer,” I heard Noah's sleepy voice come from behind me.
“Hey there,” Sawyer said. “You feeling better?”
“Oh yeah,” Noah replied, as the sleepiness left his tone.
“Great!” Sawyer let out. “You in the mood for pancakes?”
“I love pancakes,” I heard Noah reply, still not able to bring myself to lift my head.
“How about chocolate chips. Do you like those?” Sawyer asked.
“I love those too,” Noah replied, sounding even more excited than before.
“How about chocolate chips in your pancakes?” Sawyer asked, and I heard Noah gasp.
“Oh no!” he let out, and I couldn't help but laugh into my arms silently, hoping my shoulders weren't shaking. “Mom doesn't let me do that.”
“Well,” Sawyer said, and I could tell he was smiling, “it's a good thing mom isn't cooking then.”
“I heard that,” I let out in a mumble.
“You want to help?” Sawyer asked.
“Can I?” Noah asked.
“Of course,” Sawyer answered. “Come on.”
I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I was exhausted.
“We kind of need to sit here, Sleeping Beauty. Do you mind sitting up so I can put your plate down?” I heard Sawyer ask, and I slowly looked up to find him standing there with a plate full of food in one hand and a glass of what I thought might be orange juice in the other.
“Coffee?” I asked, as I sat up while rubbing the back of my neck at the same time.
“Patience,” he said, as he shook his head, set the stuff down on the table in front of me, and turned and walked away.
“Be careful,” I heard Sawyer call out, as Noah walked slowly to the table with a plate full of food.
A Forever Love, Part 2 Page 11