Carter didn’t like the husband that had come in, but it wasn’t like he was really able to judge. The man seemed the kind to walk all over his wife and tell her exactly what was going on rather than letting her speak on her own. Didn’t make much sense to Carter. But then again, he hadn’t been able to make his own marriage work. How was he supposed to know what was going on with anyone else?
“I’ll take a look at it, but only if you agree to go out with Stacia. Not tonight. Maybe not even this month. But, sometime. Just consider it.”
Carter narrowed his eyes. “Really? You’re not going to work like I’m ordering you to? Talk about insubordination.”
“Boy, don’t even start with me. I only want what’s best for you.”
“Then go work and let me do what I need to do.”
“If you had done what you needed to do, you wouldn’t be in this mess,” Tommy mumbled under his breath, and Carter closed his eyes, holding back a groan.
None of his men talked back to him like that. They all respected him and listened to what he said. Carter was a damn good mechanic, and he knew what the fuck he was doing when it came to his job. But his life? He apparently had no idea what he was doing there and sucked at the whole marriage thing. And just doing the right thing.
But the fact that Tommy felt like it was okay to talk like that? Maybe Carter deserved it. Perhaps it was because, yes, they had a decent power dynamic between them and it was in their history, but Tommy had a lot more years on Carter, and was going on thirty years married to his wife, Shelly. Thirty years with the same woman, and he hadn’t fucked it up like Carter had after only a little more than a year.
Maybe Tommy knew what he was talking about.
Perhaps it was time to actually get back on that bronco and try to figure out what to do.
Just the thought of that made his stomach twist again, clenching with the idea of being out on a date with another woman who wasn’t Roxie. But that was the point. It was never going to be Roxie again. Thinking that he could be with her just didn’t work anymore. They were in the middle of divorce proceedings, and he’d already signed the papers. She wasn’t his anymore. And hoping that it would change, wishing that he could just get over it and everything would be okay wasn’t going to work.
So, maybe if he went out with this woman, this Stacia, he’d be able to…not get over Roxie, but maybe think about a future where he didn’t want to throw up at the idea that he was alone.
Maybe he just needed to get out of Landon’s house and do something other than work, hit the gym in the basement, or drink beers while sitting in his room alone and reading a book.
His life existence pretty much sucked, the routine so barren of anything fulfilling that he was afraid he would end up a husk of the man he had once been.
But he needed to think on this a bit more. He needed to think it over, go through exactly what he could possibly do, and determine if he was making the right decision. He was always a thinker, ever the quiet one. His parents had always wondered why he took so long to make a decision, and that was because Carter went over every outcome he could possibly foresee, afraid that he would end up with one he couldn’t see at all.
He hadn’t seen the fact that his parents weren’t going to be alive past his senior year in school. He hadn’t seen the fact that he was going to end up alone and practically homeless multiple times in his life.
He hadn’t seen it because he hadn’t let himself see it.
So, maybe he needed to just jump into something and see what came of it. Because for all his planning, nothing ever worked the way he wanted it to. Nothing ever worked the way he needed it to.
So, Carter let out a breath and went to help Tommy with the sedan.
The other guys who’d gone out to lunch were working on the other side of the garage, so he and Tommy wouldn’t be overheard during their conversation.
“I can handle this on my own, you know. Think I’m getting too old and frail?” Tommy asked the question, but there was laughter in his voice.
Tommy was in his fifties, he wasn’t anywhere near retirement age. Of course, being a blue-collar worker without a college degree sometimes meant that retirement came later for some people. Though, these days, that wasn’t always the case. Landon lamented that he was going to be eighty by the time he could safely retire, even with his nest egg.
Times apparently sucked for everyone, not just for Carter. He had to remember that. It should have warmed him at night, knowing he wasn’t alone in the fact that he truly did not like his life. But it didn’t.
“I know you can handle it, old man. Just let me get some grease under my fingers.”
Tommy huffed. “I think there’s grease perpetually under our fingers. You know my wife had me go and get a manicure once?” Tommy snorted, and Carter smiled. Fucking smiled. It had been way too long since he had done that.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I went along because she’s my wife and I love her. But the audacity of it all… The inhumanity.”
“Did you go with the pale pink or a fuchsia? Or maybe a blue to match those eyes of yours.”
Tommy flipped Carter off with his greasy middle finger before going back to work. “I had no polish other than a clear coat. It protected my hands from a lot of the grease for at least two hours. Maybe we should have the men in on this.”
This time, Carter laughed outright. “Oh, yes, I can put an end to the work regime. You get a good workout and get your nails done.”
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. I’ll probably never do it again, but it was for our daughter’s wedding, and I promised I would not look like I had just rolled out of my coveralls and out from under a car.”
“That makes sense then.” Carter paused, then cleared his throat. “So, did you go for the pedicure?”
“I will not answer that.”
“So, you went for the pedicure.”
“Let me tell you, my feet have never felt so smooth. Like a baby’s bottom. I didn’t need it, but my wife wanted someone to sit with since we had to drive out to my little girl’s wedding. Shelly didn’t get to do a lot of the mother/daughter things because we both worked so much. So, I made sure that she got to get her pedicure and manicure and I got one right with her. Let me tell you, my wife was never so happy as when she walked in looking pretty as a picture. My daughter was pretty happy too, seeing both of her parents looking like they hadn’t worked a sixty-hour work week for once.”
“I’m glad to hear it. How long has your daughter been married again?”
“Going on eight years now. A little ridiculous when you think about it. I think I could be your father at this point.”
“Yeah, maybe if you started a bit early.”
“No, you’re right about my daughter’s age. So, yeah, I could be your dad.” He paused as they worked, and Carter knew Tommy was thinking about what he wanted to say next. Tommy was a thinker just like Carter. That was probably why the two of them got along so well. And possibly why, when they didn’t, they butted heads and then got over it pretty quickly. Because they thought about all the outcomes and tried to work with the best one.
“I’m sorry for pushing you like I did. I just want you to be happy. And I know you haven’t been happy for a while. But I don’t know if that has to do with Roxie or just other things. But know, I’m here for you if you need me. Stacia works at the place next door to my wife. So, she knows Shelly quite well. She’s pretty, single, has no kids. Apparently, she is really bright and smiles a lot. I don’t know if the smiling will annoy you after a while, but I figure…why not try it out?”
“Maybe I will.” Carter said the words, and bile coated his tongue, but he ignored it. He needed to take a step in some direction. Even if it was the wrong one. He knew Tommy wasn’t going to back down, and he knew the other guys would likely have women for him, as well. And he knew Landon and Ryan would want him to be happy. All of his friends, meddlers and matchmakers.
And he was an as
shole for resenting it.
“You tell me when, and I’ll connect the two of you.”
He and Tommy worked together some more, while the thoughts and reactions of everything that could happen ran through Carter’s brain.
“Why don’t you give me her number and I’ll give her a call.”
He said the words, and it hurt. It hurt so damn bad, but he ignored it. He was getting good at ignoring things.
“I’ll be sure to let her know to expect your call then. That way, it doesn’t come out of the blue.”
“That’d probably be a good idea.”
Then they went back to work again and didn’t say anything more. Because what else was there to say? Carter was going to plan a date with another woman. Someone that wasn’t Roxie.
He would just have to deal with that.
* * *
“So, have you ever been to this place before?” Stacia asked, her voice soft and sweet.
Carter tried not to be annoyed by that.
He was an asshole, but he was trying not to be.
“I haven’t, but I heard good things about it from my friends. And you said you liked Italian, so pasta sounded like a good idea to me.”
After he had left the shop with Stacia’s number in hand, he had called her the next night, trying not to put it off for too long. And then he’d thrown up and wondered if that would be how he reacted to everything from now on. Probably wasn’t good for his system, but nothing was these days.
As soon as she had agreed to the date and he cleaned himself up, he’d asked Landon where he should take a woman. Because the only places he could think of were locations that were filled with memories of Roxie. And he wasn’t about to do that. There was no way he wanted to be in a place where he’d been with his wife—no, his ex-wife. There was no way he could do that to himself. So, he was going to start new. Start fresh.
Tomorrow, he would try to look for an apartment. Because it was time to grow up. It was time to move on. It was time to figure out what the fuck he was going to do.
“I love pasta. Pasta probably loves me a little bit too much, but that’s fine with me.” Stacia grinned, showing straight, white teeth and a beautiful smile. She had on red lipstick and a red dress that flared out at the hips. The dress had sleeves that belled at the elbows, and it was good for winter since it was cold outside. Her long, dark hair fell in curls down her back and over her shoulders. She had bright brown eyes and pale skin. She was a looker, that was for sure. And Carter knew that, no matter what, this wasn’t going to work out. She would be too sweet, and he would be too mean. And that was fine. This was just him getting back on the bronco, as Tommy had said.
He was going to kill the man for putting that saying in his mind.
“I’m a fan of pasta too, but then I have to work out extra if I eat it.”
Stacia smiled. “Well, it looks like you work out plenty.”
She blushed as she said it, and Carter tried not to fidget in his seat. What was he supposed to say on a date? He and Roxie had just clicked when they met and had gone out quickly after, enjoying themselves. They just worked. Until they hadn’t.
He had no idea what to do with new people. He was really going to make a mess of this, and then he was going to have to explain himself to Tommy.
Or maybe Tommy would have to explain himself to Carter since Carter knew he was nowhere near ready for this.
But, somehow, he made small talk and didn’t talk about his family. Didn’t talk about anything important. And Stacia did much the same. He felt nothing for the woman in front of him. There was no spark, no chemistry. And he felt bad because he knew he was just wasting her time. Apparently, he’d made a mistake. He made a lot of them. He and Stacia were just finishing up dessert when he looked up and spotted another couple walking in. Two people that he instantly recognized.
He hadn’t told Landon what day he’d be taking Stacia out and hadn’t actually seen the man that day since their schedules were opposite.
But there Landon was, Kaylee on his arm, and the two of them glaring at each other before they both looked at him and glared some more.
At least Kaylee was glaring. Landon just looked resigned, but Carter knew it wasn’t on purpose. Landon was here with Kaylee, the two of them apparently on a date even though they swore they weren’t dating. Now, everyone would know that Carter was out with another woman.
Because Landon might have known, considering that Carter was here because Landon had suggested the restaurant. But now Kaylee knew. And Roxie would know.
Carter was making a mistake.
He’d made a mistake from the beginning. He shouldn’t be here. He missed his wife.
He missed her so damn much, and the idea that he was out with another woman just made him want to throw up again.
You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be here.
He should be home, trying to work things out. He should be fucking talking to his wife and taking the steps they needed to figure out what was wrong between them.
He shouldn’t have run away.
He shouldn’t have done all the things he did.
He damn well sure shouldn’t be on a date with another woman. Someone who seemed nice but whom he had no idea about and couldn’t even truly think about without feeling like he was cheating on his wife.
Didn’t matter that the papers were signed. Didn’t matter that it’d been months since Carter had sat down with her and talked. Didn’t matter that it’d been a month since he’d seen her.
This was wrong.
Stacia seemed to notice that something had changed. She smiled sweetly as they each split the bill and quit talking to each other. They had driven separately, something that he had done because he knew she would be worried about safety. He didn’t mind that, but now, he was grateful for it.
“I can see you’re not ready for this,” Stacia said. “Shelly told me that you were married, and I think you still love your wife, Carter. Maybe you should think about what you need to do with that. Because you’re a nice man. And you deserve to be happy. It’s just not going to be with me.
He sighed, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his suit pants. “I’m sorry for this. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have done any of this.”
“Oh, I know, and I don’t really feel too bad about it because I had a good night with a nice man. And I know that if I say we should be friends, you’re just going to smile sweetly and politely say ‘of course’ and never talk to me again. Because I’m the woman you went on a date with while you were thinking about your wife the entire time. And that’s fine with me. I’m just glad it seems like you’re finally thinking straight. Now, go get her, Carter. Stop running. Go get her.”
He had no idea who this Stacia person was, and he had no idea why she had come into his life at this exact moment. But, apparently, she was exactly what he needed to get his head out of his ass and actually do something that he should have done before. So, he said goodbye, didn’t lean down to touch her, didn’t even hug her. In fact, he realized that he hadn’t touched her the entire night. He had nodded at her, doing a little wave when he first saw her, meaning he hadn’t even shaken her hand or given her a hug when they first met. He hadn’t made contact at all. And that was because he could only think about one person. His wife. The woman he should have been with all along.
So, he got into his truck.
It was time to talk to Roxie.
It was time to figure out what the fuck they were going to do.
Chapter 12
Roxie moaned in her sleep, her dream too good to keep her awake. It didn’t matter that she’d fallen asleep for a nap at four in the afternoon, she didn’t want to leave this dream.
She kept her eyes closed, knowing she was halfway into her dream and half awake. She was going to pretend it wasn’t just a dream. Because as long as she pretended, she didn’t have to think about the fact that she was dreaming about Carter.
Carter’s smooth lips, and his even sm
oother moves. She’d always loved the fact that he held her close after they made love, that he gently ran his hands over her to make sure that everything was just right and ensure that everything they had was exactly what they needed.
But he was always touching her, especially when they first got together.
And just like in this dream, he would run his hands down her body, touching every single inch of her until she was panting with need, moaning his name until she came. But he would never let her come. Not right away. No, he would make her wait, make her beg. And she knew that he was in as much tortured pain as she was. Because his hard cock strained against the zipper of his jeans or was hard and wet at the tip if they were naked. Because that’s how they were with each other. Him wanting her as much as she wanted him.
But he didn’t come, and he didn’t let her come. Now, in the dream, his hands roamed over her breasts, plucking her nipples. She sucked in a breath, arched her back in her real bed even as she did so in her dream. Her hands roamed over her breasts in the waking world, even as dream Carter did the same for her there. She ground herself against his knee, on his thigh, wanting all of him. Wanting him inside her. His lips trailed over her breasts and then moved down between them and over her stomach. He left one kiss on each hip and then moved his head between her thighs, stroking her clit and kissing her lower lips. He bit the inner silk of her leg and then plunged his tongue deep inside her. She knew she would come on his face as if she were on a hair trigger.
But he kept going, holding her hips down with one arm as he used the other hand to keep plucking at her nipple. Or, he used that hand to finger-fuck her as he kept eating her out.
He was so good with his tongue. That beard of his a perfect rasp against her skin. She’d get a little bit of beard burn, and he would be apologetic about it, but she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back. Just the thought of it made her want to come again.
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