by J. K Harper
2
Shane stared at the woman who'd uttered his former name in such a completely dumbfounded tone it would've been almost comical. Except, of course, that he was just as dumbfounded.
Memories of a sex-filled, sensual, wild weekend of amazing physical union and the most bizarre joy he'd ever felt in his life crashed over him with a clarity that made him catch his breath. He'd never expected to see sweet, sexy, curvy Jessie again. He never saw any of the women again. That was the point.
But something about her had left him unable to shake her from his thoughts for the past two years. Her sweet lips, smiling up at him with languorous satisfaction after yet another delicious romp in the hotel bed they had shared for three nights. The luscious decadence of her body, which had called to him to sink into her and claim her during every second he spent with her. The beautiful gray-blue eyes, which he'd caught glancing at him several times that weekend when she hadn't expected him to turn so quickly to look back at her. She'd been watching him, with a funny, almost awestruck little smile on her face, when he woke up from sleep in the mornings.
It was that look in her eyes that had told him he was doing the right thing by jetting as usual without any contact information. Sweet, sexy Jessie had known the score. She wasn't looking for anything more than some casual fun herself. When they parted ways, they hadn't even known each other's last names. She hadn't even known his full name.
Then again, almost no one had.
Back then, he lived a wandering life that was disconnected from others except to fight them, and he liked it that way. Besides, he'd been passing through Denver with his old brawling crew at the time. Something pretty ugly had gone down at the underground shifter fight rings that had meant he and the other guys needed to jam out of town early. But if he were really honest with himself, he had to admit that the abrupt need to leave so quickly had irritated him for reasons more than the fact that the crew of guys he'd been hanging out with had been proving to be assholes and idiots.
It also had to do with the fact that his bear had just not wanted to leave Jessie. Something about her had drawn him, with the sweetness that masked a deeply sensual woman who had utterly blossomed beneath his touch during the three days they got to know one another's bodies so well. They'd actually gotten to know one another fairly well too. They talked an awful lot during those seventy-two hours.
He never talked to women like that. Ever.
The little baby strapped to her back now chortled again, reaching toward him. Livy said in a low gasp, "No way." Shane's gaze snapped over to the kid. Amber eyes looked back at him, filled with an innocence and gentleness he sensed the kid had gotten from his mother. Something else was going on back in there too. Something that he knew was—
What the hell.
“He's a shifter,” Shane muttered, so shocked now he almost felt numb.
The baby also looked just like Jessie. Shane dragged his gaze back up to her. She still stared at him with opened mouth.
Livy's voice sliced through again in a shaking whisper. "Grant is obviously Jessie's son. He looks just like her. But his eyes—his eyes are yours, Shane. They're exactly yours. I would never have noticed unless I saw you both together. Holy smoked mackerel on a cracker," she breathed.
Shane felt his entire world shake, rattle, and roll.
Before he could say anything else, Jessie blurted out in a voice as stunned as he felt, "I've been looking for you. You said you lived on the road. That you didn't live anywhere in particular.” Her voice wavered. “You told me your name was Maverick. You didn't—you weren't telling me the truth?" She sounded utterly crushed.
Livy rounded a suddenly ferocious glare at Shane. He narrowed his eyes back at her. Though she was human, she had grown up knowing about bear shifters, as did most of the humans who called Deep Hollow their home. Naturally, she didn't back down an inch.
"Well, apparently he didn't. Holy shit, Shane. Did you lie to her? You knocked her up, then lied to her?" Livy was in full-on outraged mode, poking her finger into Shane's chest. “What the fuck is this Maverick bullshit?”
That was too much.
“What the hell, Livy!” He took a deep breath to calm the angry bear he felt slamming around inside him. “I may have done some shady things in my past, but I'm not a fucking liar.” He ground out his words. “You don't know my life story, anyway." He pinned her with a darker glare before taking another deep breath so he could continue more calmly.
"I never once lied to you,” he said, looking back at Jessie. Damn, her eyes were beautiful. Even more stunning than he'd remembered. "My full name is Shane Maverick Walker. Everyone just called me Maverick or Mav when I was growing up. It stuck. That was my name, back when I met you. But when I moved here to Deep Hollow earlier this year, I'd decided to cut all ties with my old life. So I introduced myself as Shane, and that's the name everyone knows me by now. It is my actual legal name,” he added, tossing a dark frown at Livy before looking back at beautiful Jessie. “I don't use Maverick anymore. That guy is dead as far as I'm concerned.”
Under Jessie's astonished gaze, his heart beat so hard it felt like it might pound its way right out of his chest. Livy started to say something, but he plowed on.
“And yeah, when you and I met, Jessie”—whoa, just saying her name did crazy things to his insides—“I didn't have a place I called home. The road was my home. But things changed. They had to. So I ended up here. Deep Hollow is my home now.”
She just stared, still open-mouthed, with the sweet, gorgeous face that had haunted his dreams ever since he'd left her in that hotel room they'd filled with sex and secrets and a closeness he'd never before experienced. Just looking at her made his heart jump. What the hell was that about? He felt his bear rising hard. Agitated. Unruly. Like his out-of-control bear of old.
He channeled the surging feelings into his words, hoping to calm his bear. “If that little kid is actually mine"—ah, damn, just saying that sent the craziest jolt through his entire body, making his head rattle and his thoughts jumble even more—"then this is a private matter between me and Jessie. So you can march your ass into that house and leave us alone, Livy."
Jessie finally spoke again, the husky sweetness of her voice scraping over Shane's nerves in a sexy, rough little rasp that managed to inflame them even more. "Hey, she's my friend. Don't talk to her like that. Shane," she said with emphasis, now looking somewhat more rankled than crushed. Those gorgeous eyes of hers squinched up into a fierce scowl at him as she took a step back, her shoulders straightening.
As if she was trying to protect the cub from him.
At that show of motherly bravado, he snorted and threw his hands up in the air, still struggling against his bear. "Trust me, if he's part shifter, he'll be more than able to hold his own. Especially," and abruptly, the shock of the entire situation thundered down onto him again, making his voice even more dark than usual, "a cub that's my son."
Complete silence held all of them, even the little boy, as Shane's growled words hung in the chill early afternoon air, punctuating the enormity of the situation. Yeah, he had to admit it. He was shocked as shit. But there was no question about it. The kid's eyes looked exactly like his. And he clearly was a shifter.
He, Shane Walker, had a son.
And he knew somehow, he'd manage to fuck it up.
As if she could read his thoughts, Livy said in a firm voice, “Jessie is one of my best friends in the world. So even if you are a big, bad grizzly bear shifter, I'll shoot you, mount your head on my wall, and use your fuzzy skin for a rug if you even think about hurting her or Grant."
Shane barely noticed her threats. “Grant,” he said, briefly distracted from his agitated thoughts. "Grant Walker. That's a good name."
Quietly, Jessie corrected, "Grant McMillan. I didn't even know your last name, so he got mine instead."
Shane felt an inexplicable sensation coat him, lacing his voice with more darkness. It felt close to rage, though that wasn't quite
it. “If he's mine,” he growled, “his last name is Walker.”
Shit. His bear was freaking out and he still had no clue why.
Jessie stared at him, her blue-gray eyes now more uncertain despite her brave face. Shane's vision abruptly blurred, then blackened a bit at the edges. His bear rampaged through him. Bewilderment and that odd, stunning emotion Shane couldn't quite place blasted through every sense he had. One thing was certain: his bear wanted out. Wanted to explode into being, roar and rage in some sort of maddened fury. Desperately trying to hold himself steady, wondering what the fuck was going on, Shane focused on his breath as he tried to regain some sense of stability.
“Jessie,” he managed to say, wanting to sound normal. In control. But it came out so low, so heavy and contorted by his bear's clawing dominance, that her eyes widened with the one thing he didn't want to see.
Fear.
Even Livy was caught short, staring at Shane with her mouth open. Damn it all. This was useless. His bear was about to literally burst out of him, roaring and growling and demanding to rip something apart. Out of control and aching for battle, the way he'd been his entire life before finally moving to Deep Hollow and settling into a calmer, more quiet life. He couldn't scare the shit out of Jessie like that, letting her see him as a terrified, enraged bear. The barely restrained bear he used to be. He also couldn't let his son witness that.
Instead, he muttered in a savage growl that was no longer completely human, “I'm sorry.”
Desperate to escape before his grizzly took over, he lunged around her and the wide-eyed baby boy, thundered down the steps, and bolted away toward the snow-covered pine trees of the deep mountain forest with the prickly feeling of his shocked, raging bear scraping beneath his skin.
And with the bizarre, unexpected sense of being ripped away from the two most important things in the world.
3
Jessie smiled with automatic friendliness as the bell over the door jingled at the arrival of the next customer, even though her stomach was still in tight little knots. “Welcome to The Mountain Muffin! I'll be right with you.”
She cringed at her own sickeningly cheerful voice, but no one else seemed to notice how fake it was.
The family that had walked in stood in a little cluster by the door, taking off hats and stamping their snowy shoes on the heavy rubber mat that covered the floor at the front of the bakery. The father smiled at Jessie as she turned back to the espresso maker, whipping up some lattes and mochas for the small gaggle of college-age kids who'd come in a few moments earlier. The little shop buzzed with morning activity, though it was not yet 8 a.m. on a Saturday. Holiday cheer sprinkled throughout the place, which Jessie had helped decorate a few days after she and Grant arrived in Deep Hollow.
Holiday cheer that had taken a decidedly sooty feel for her on the turn of a dime. Her adoration of all things wintry and festive, from pretty lights to pine trees to carols to gifts to spiced cider, felt jostled with the shock of realization that Maverick—no, Shane—was here. He invaded her every waking thought, and had padded through her dreams the past few nights on the big, clawed paws of a grizzly bear.
To say her mind wandered today was the understatement of the year.
Maddy, her pile of auburn red hair pulled back into a messy bun that just accentuated her natural beauty, leaned over from where she was rinsing a spoon in the sink to whisper, “Those are the Calhouns. They have a place about three blocks from here. Super nice family, been here forever. Shifters, of course.”
Jessie nodded, still focused on the drink she was making. During her work days, Maddy had been slowly introducing her to all the locals as they filtered into the bakery. By this point, she'd met quite a few of them, seeing as how Deep Hollow boasted only a few thousand residents, and they all seemed to like coffee and baked goods. She glanced over to her right, where Grant lay snuggled up in his little travel seat, which made a handy nap spot for him when she came to work. Jessie simply carried him in the travel seat to the shop each morning, which was easy since she lived about twenty feet away from it. She had a blanket pulled over the top of his seat so the lights and bustle of the bakery wouldn't disturb him quite as much, though she didn't really need to. Every mother she'd met had exclaimed how lucky she was that he slept so soundly through the activity and noise of the bakery. They were downright jealous when she said he also slept a solid eight, nine, or even ten hours a night, every night, without waking up once. And yes, he was perfectly healthy and developmentally where he should be.
Every visiting tourist human mother was jealous, that is. All the locals simply smiled and whispered that it was normal. Bear shifter babies slept long and hard, particularly in the winter. Something to do with the natural hibernation rhythms in shifter systems.
Maddy, now beside Jessie at the other espresso maker filling a paper go cup, noticed her glance. “So. How you hanging in there? I swear, Livy is about ready to kill Shane.”
Jessie startled badly, her hand knocking the steamer and sending steam whizzing off to the side. Maddy quickly flipped the switch off and smiled apologetically. “Sorry. I take it you're still pretty rattled.”
Blowing air out of her mouth in a long breath, Jessie gave a brief nod. “It's just so weird, you know? Here I've been, resigned to the fact that I'd never know where Grant's daddy is, that he'd never know he had a son, and boom. He's been living here, right under my nose.”
Pushing some silver tinsel out of the way where it hung a little too close to the coffee mug rack beside the sink, Maddy shot Jessie an understanding look but didn't interrupt. She seemed to sense that Jessie was talking it out to herself.
“I want Grant to know him, of course. I never had a dad, and that was pretty hard on me. I never wanted to raise a child alone either, but I didn't have much control over it.” Jessie sighed as she set down the second latte and started to fix a holiday-themed peppermint mocha, complete with a miniature candy cane sticking out of it. “And he seemed almost angry when he took off like he did. Do you—” Jessie hesitated, though her hands kept working on the drinks. “Do you think he'll come around? I just need to know he'll show up for Grant. That he'll want to be in his life.”
Maddy sighed. “He was just as shocked as you, from what Livy said. Reverting to the animal side was just a self-protective measure. Give him some time. Besides.” She smiled impishly at Jessie as she went back to what she'd been working on. “Maybe the magic of the season will soften him up to the idea a bit.”
Jessie smiled at the encouraging words but didn't reply. She loved Christmas herself, but she doubted it would have any sort of magical effect on a tough, burly bear shifter like Mav—Shane. He seemed like the sort to mutter Bah, humbug at all the holiday trappings she loved.
Surrounded by happy, chattering people, a plethora of sparkly and jingly holiday decorations, and the overwhelming sense that everyone in here was celebrating the holidays with their family all conspired to darken Jessie's mood even further. You're being melodramatic, she firmly told herself as the strains of the Nutcracker Suite with its dancing sugar plum fairies came on over the speakers. Just be grateful. You still have everything you need here.
Well, if that were true, why did it feel like the one thing she wanted most at the moment was probably off somewhere in the snowy woods, having a bear-sized freak out about the unexpected holiday gift she'd abruptly dumped on his doorstep yesterday?
Biting the inside of her cheek, she rolled her eyes at herself for her continued melodrama—it hadn't been his doorstep, for crying out loud—and turned back to the espresso maker. After she finished the drinks for the college kids and rang them up, the shifter family, the Calhouns, stepped up to the counter. She greeted them pleasantly, trying to observe them without staring as she waited for their orders. The man was tall, brawny, stupidly attractive, and had that funny little thing about him that she had come to recognize as meaning he was a bear shifter. It wasn't anything she could put her finger on. It simply was as if
he wore a wild edge that set him off as being different. As being somewhat more than human.
Just like—Shane. It was funny to think of him with that name, when for three days she'd known him as Maverick. But she could tell he'd told her the truth the other day. That was his name then, and Shane was the name he went by now. He hadn't lied to her. It was weird, but she knew that deep down, with an unshakeable surety.
She had recognized his innate wildness during the three days she had spent with him in bliss-soaked pleasure in his hotel room all those many months ago. She had no clue what that had meant at the time, of course. All she really knew then was that he was the most exciting, fascinating, sexy, and wild yet gentle guy she'd ever met. She'd been temporarily living in Denver, he'd been rolling through town, they met at a bar. It had seemed like a simple pick-up, until it turned into so much more.
She'd also sensed something in him that seemed to be hurting. Not so much a secret pain, nothing so dramatic as that. It was more an overall defensiveness. A wariness he draped about himself like an impenetrable cloak. Even though during the days they had spent in one another's company, literally never taking any time away from the other, they both had lowered their defenses, she'd known he wasn't sharing all of himself with her.
"Okay, I think we've decided what we want." The deep voice of the father of the little shifter family pulled Jessie back into the present moment. She wasn't really surprised when he added, "You're our newest resident, aren't you? And your son?"
Feeling a little shy, she nodded. The woman next to him, presumably his wife and also clearly a bear shifter, gave her husband a thump on his upper arm before smiling back at Jessie. "Ungracious oaf. Don't let him scare you off. But yes, everyone here knows who you are. We're all really excited to have a new little baby in town."
The father of the small clan gave a self-deprecating smile. "Forgetting my manners. I'm Bain Calhoun.” He gestured with pride at his family. “My wife, Helena, and our daughters, Willow and Laurel."