by Linda Kage
Three tests later, she finally admitted defeat. Sitting on her small bed, she wept.
It took two days to gather the courage to tell Boston. She remembered how chilly the breeze had been on her slow walk across campus to his apartment building. Her cheeks had been windburned; she had her jacket wrapped snuggly around her with her fisted hands buried deep in her pockets.
There were deep-purplish hollows under her eyes from lack of sleep when she knocked on his door.
Boston didn't look much better when he pulled it open. His hair was a mess, his clothes were rumpled, and his eyes were bloodshot. But the expression in his gaze when he caught sight of her had her hopes lifting. His face lit like he'd actually missed her as much as she'd missed him.
Had he felt more for her than he'd claimed?
But with his next breath, he seemed to pull taut, like he'd just reminded himself they were no longer together. His eyes frosted over and his lips tightened. "Ellie," he said in an icy tone.
She looked down but just as quickly lifted her head, demanding herself to be strong. "May I come in?"
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She thought he might tell her no; then he shrugged as if it made no difference and stepped aside, letting the door swing open. His eyes were hard on her as she passed. Ellie went straight to his bed and sat on the edge before lifting her face.
Boston closed the door and leaned back against it, staring at her coldly. He made no move to sit.
Figuring if he wouldn't sit, then she couldn't either, Ellie scrambled back to her feet. For a moment, she merely stood there, wondering how she was going to do this. How was she going to tell him? It all felt too surreal.
When she'd first seen him in Mack's Burger House, she'd thought of him as something unattainable, someone she could never get close to. Then as time passed, and he talked her into that first date, it felt like she was living in a dream.
She was with Boston Kincaid. She couldn't believe it. But now it was over and she still thought of their time together as a dream.
The child growing inside her was real, though. She looked at the man with whom she'd shared so many intimacies. He merely glared back. Wincing, she knew, deep down, he wouldn't take the news well.
She hated the fact he blocked the door. She wanted an escape route handy.
"Well?" he demanded.
Ellie took a deep breath, but once she met his gaze, she had to drop her head.
"I'm pregnant," she said more to her feet than she did to him.
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He didn't respond. For the longest time, she was unable to lift her eyes. When she managed to look up and gauge his reaction, she sucked in a breath. He was just staring at her as if he hadn't heard her, as if he was in a movie and someone had pushed pause. Then he blinked rapidly and frowned, shifting his gaze to her still-flat stomach.
He jerked from the door so suddenly she yelped. As he strode toward her with a look on his face that made her eyes go wide in alarm, Ellie stumbled a step back and would've tripped over her own feet and gone sprawling if Boston hadn't reached out and caught her. But once he had his hand on her, he yanked her close, melding their chests together.
"Boston!" she gasped.
He gritted his teeth, his nostrils flaring. "You lying little—"
Ellie's mouth fell open. " What!? I..." The grip he had on her wrist, which was only tightening, had her grabbing his shoulder. "Stop!"
He blinked at his hold and let go abruptly enough that she fell back. He looked so shocked he'd actually hurt her, he could only gape for a moment. But he shook his head, his face turning an angry red.
"You would stop at nothing, wouldn't you?" he growled.
"Well, let me warn you now, Ellie. Trying to get me back by faking a pregnancy is a real bad idea."
Ellie gaped and stuttered, "Wha-wha-what?" How could he actually think she was lying?
He looked away and snorted. "You make me sick."
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Ellie's hands fisted at her sides. She wanted to go to him and shake, slap, or pound some sense into him. But she just stood there, stewing. How dare he think she'd made this up?
Straightening her shoulders, she leveled him with a lethal glower and stiffly said, "If you don't want anything to do with the baby, that's fine with me. I'd hate for my child to have a cheating jerk for a father anyway."
With that said, she moved around him and walked determinedly toward the exit. But just as she reached for the handle and began to open it, a palm reached around her and slapped the door shut. She stared at the closed portal and felt her rigid resolve slip.
Behind her, Boston hissed, "What's your game?"
Ellie swallowed and lifted her head a little as she still continued to stare at the door. There was no way she could face him right then. She just knew she'd cry if she did.
"I assure you," she said, proud there wasn't even a tremor in her steady voice, "this is no game."
"I don't believe you."
Ellie snorted. "That's obvious."
"Then why did you come here?"
Unable to take it any longer, she leaned forward and rested her cheek on the door panel. Pressing her hand against the cool surface and wishing he'd let her leave already, she whispered in desperation. "Please. Just let me go."
Boston touched her, and the gentle pressure of his hand on the back of her shoulder was her undoing. The first tear tracked down her cheek. She blinked rapidly, but instead of 97
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drying her lashes, the move only caused another droplet to fall.
"Ellie," he whispered. "Stop scaring the shit out of me.
What's going on? Why are you doing this?"
She sniffed in the rest of the tears and wiped at her face.
"I don't know what to do," she admitted, hauling in a deep, shuddering breath. Finally, she turned and was satisfied to see he was beginning to appear unnerved. "I...it...It seemed like the decent thing to let you know," she said, and her voice broke. "So, I've done my job. Now let me out." She turned and wrapped her hand around the doorknob, but he only leaned his full weight against the door, moving closer to her in the process.
She closed her eyes, trying to block the feel of his warm chest against her back.
"I need proof," he said after a moment. "You're going to have to take a test."
Ellie laughed, a bitter sound. "I've already taken five. They were all positive."
That answer seemed to get through to him more than anything. He shuddered. Now that he knew she'd been just as disbelieving as he was, he had to know she was telling the truth.
"Well, you're taking another," he rasped.
Unfazed, Ellie merely shrugged. "Fine. Whatever."
"Right now."
Ellie looked up at him. "I said okay."
An hour later, he dropped onto his bed and cradled his head in his hands. Ellie stood frigidly by the door, torn 98
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between escape and going to him to share their mutual fear.
She'd just decided to move toward him when he lifted his face.
"Did you do it on purpose?"
She fell to a stop and tilted her head. "Do what?"
"Don't act innocent, Ellie," he growled. "Did you get pregnant on purpose?"
Her lips parted, emitting a disbelieving puff of air. "Why would I purposely get pregnant?"
"Oh, get real," he snarled. "You come from a rundown trailer park in Nowhere, Tennessee." While he came from money and security, neither of them had to add. "You probably thought you'd struck it big time when I fell into your lap."
For a full ten seconds, Ellie was too stunned to speak. She couldn't believe his crudity, couldn't believe he would think of her this way.
First of all, she
didn't need his money. She'd done without, and she could continue to do without. Secondly, she didn't see how she could have even dreamed up a baby trap to keep him in the relationship when she'd had no idea the relationship had been about to crumble. And thirdly, how could he think she'd do something so underhanded as to trick him? Didn't he know her at all after eight months?
There was no way she'd bring an innocent child into the mix if she thought there was any kind of trouble in paradise.
What followed was the biggest, longest, loudest argument she'd ever had with anyone. Names were called, accusations were made, feelings were hurt. Ellie tried to keep up, but 99
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Boston managed to do most of the destruction. And when the yelling was over and the smoke cleared, Ellie was still pregnant, and Boston blamed her.
He couldn't tell his parents; he was too humiliated. She'd always assumed he just wasn't close to his family. That was why he'd never talked to her about them, why he'd never introduced her to them. But then she caught him calling his mother once; she listened to him talk to her on the phone and realized they meant a lot more to him that she'd ever thought. She was the one who hadn't meant enough. She was the one who hadn't been worthy enough to meet his hallowed family.
As he hung up from that call and closed his eyes, letting out a long, tired breath, Ellie knew he'd been too embarrassed to announce he'd gotten a no-one girl from nowhere, Tennessee pregnant. Instead, he'd lied and told his mom he was staying in Lawrence through the summer because he'd found a job. He made no mention of Ellie or their baby.
Things changed considerably after that. They'd broken up weeks before, but it was officially over from that point on. He tried to be polite to her, but neither of them could stop the cool distance. And all too often, they fell into the stupidest fights.
After trying to pick out baby names, with him shooting all of her suggestions down, Ellie sighed in disgust. "Well, want do you want, Boston?" she growled.
He spat back, "I don't know! Okay? I do not know. All I can tell you is what I don't want."
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"Oh?" she asked cockily. "And what's that?"
"Well, for starters, I don't want to be sitting here picking out baby names. I don't want to be seven months from becoming a father. I don't want to tell my parents I've made the biggest mistake of my life. I don't want to miss my first semester at Yale."
Blowing out a stream of curses under his breath, he surged to his feet and stormed off. And hormonal freak Ellie had become, she curled into a ball and cried.
Boston called her that night at one in the morning to apologize. He actually sounded sincere in his regret as he offered her an olive branch by announcing he liked the name Cassie. But there was still that note of desperation in his voice, telling her loud and clear how trapped he felt; he just wanted to be free of it all. He wanted out, and he wanted to attend Yale.
Getting into a bus accident the next day had been like providence. Ellie hadn't really been hurt. She'd barely gotten jostled, but the encounter had made her bleed and fearing for the baby, she'd agreed to go to the hospital. She'd been looked over and immediately cleared. She'd actually been waiting to be signed out when Boston had rushed into the emergency room where she was lounging on a cot.
She hadn't planned on lying to him. It'd been a spur of the moment thing that surprised her even as she did it.
There was a mixture of guilt and concern in his eyes when he stepped into her hospital room, like he felt as if he'd wished this kind of tragedy on her and now that his wish was granted, he realized how wrong it had been to want it. But he 101
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came to her anyway, slowly, like a repenting sinner approaching the confessional.
"How are you?" he asked softly.
All she could do was nod and close her eyes. His trembling hand on her brow made her start crying all over again. When she looked up at him, he actually looked scared. "What about the baby?"
The idea hit her so suddenly, she didn't even really have time to change her mind before she asked, "Have you told your parents yet?"
He looked distinctly ashamed before he slid his gaze away and mumbled, "Not yet."
"Good," she rasped. "Because there's nothing to tell them anymore."
Boston whirled back in shock. "What?"
"There is no baby," she lied. "The baby's gone."
"You...you had a miscarriage?" She couldn't quite read how the news hit him. He looked struck, sure, surprised to say the least. His eyes seared into hers, so she could plainly see the thoughts and feelings flash through him. But they moved and changed so quickly, she doubted even he knew what was going through his head at that moment.
She turned her face aside. "I just want to be left alone, Boston. I want to finish college, go home to my aunt, and forget this ever happened. And you have to leave for me to do that. So, please...just go. I never want to see you again. I want to move on and forget."
He stared at her with wide eyes, clearly unable to believe she was sending him away. For the briefest of moments, he 102
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looked hurt. If he'd kept that expression, if he'd done one thing to give her an ounce of consolation, she probably would've broken down and told him the truth.
But after taking a deep breath and clearing his face of all emotion, he nodded once and turned away. Ellie watched him leave; his stiff, straight back was the last thing she saw...for ten years.
"Well, I can understand why you did it," Nora said, jerking Ellie to the present.
She hadn't realized she'd spilled out most of her story aloud until her friend added, "You had a child to protect, and this jerk who'd just cheated on you was making a huge fuss.
If you want my opinion, I'd say you did the right thing. If you'd kept him from going on to Yale and passing his bar, he would've held that against you for the rest of your life and made all three of you miserable. I swear, Mendel resents Keller and me, and we weren't even forced on him. We actually planned on getting married and starting a family. It's not my damn fault he suddenly realized this isn't the life he wanted..."
Nora fell quiet and her eyes flashed guiltily toward Ellie's, as if she'd just realized she'd gone off on her own tangent.
Forcing a smile, she reached out and took Ellie's hand. "You did the right thing," she assured her. "You and Cassie have done beautifully without him."
Ellie nodded but bit her lip because she couldn't keep the doubt from plaguing her. A week ago, she would've agreed wholeheartedly with Nora. Boston had been so mad at her; he would've made a crappy dad. But now...now that she'd seen 103
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him ten years matured and then seen how happy Cassie was meeting him and actually liking him, she wasn't certain of anything. She'd do any number of things for her daughter.
She might even let Boston Kincaid back into her life to make her little girl happy.
"Might" being the word of the day.
"Did you know Keller was the one who found him?" she asked.
After she explained the boy's involvement, Nora merely shook her head and grumbled, "I told Mendel not to leave that credit card lying around. The idiot." But she didn't look too upset. Rather she looked proud of her genius son. "I swear, someday, the FBI is going to show up on my doorstep because they've caught him cracking into top secret files.
He's too smart for his own good."
Ellie nodded sadly. "He probably should've skipped those grades when the principal came to talk to you about raising his level of education."
Nora sighed. "I know, but when he found out Cassidy wouldn't be coming with him, he refused. He won't do anything without her."
Ellie had to agree. "They are quite a pair."
Nora nodded, and the two fell silent. Ellie realize
d they'd drifted off onto the same thought pattern when Nora sighed and asked, "So, what're you going to do about Mr. Daddy?"
Ellie let out a breath. "I have no idea."
Her first instinct was to pack up Cassie and get them as far away as they could go. But her daughter would hate her 104
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forever if she did that. And Ellie knew the child needed a male figure in her life. But did that man have to be Boston?
"I'm kind of hoping he forgets about us and never comes back again."
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Chapter Seven
Boston took off work early in order to spend more time with his daughter at Chuck E. Cheese's. But when he reached Ellie's place and knocked on the door, no one answered.
Immediately disappointed, he shoved his hands in his pockets and scowled at the entrance as if it was personally keeping his child from him.
It was a Wednesday afternoon, and Cassie should've been out of school by now. She hadn't mentioned any after-school activities she had to be at today when he'd talked to her last night, but that didn't mean she wouldn't be at one of them.
Moodily wondering what he was going to do until five thirty, he toed a brown, wrinkled leaf off the porch and watched it flutter into the yard. He didn't want to skulk around Ellie's house two afternoons in a row. It reminded him too much of the days when he was so anxious to see her, he'd always show up early for their dates only to wait in the hall outside her dorm room until she was ready.
Boston groaned and ran his hands through his hair, feeling an antsy trepidation. He just wanted to see his daughter, damn it. He didn't want to think about her mother.
"Hey, Cassie!" a boy's voice yelled from the next door neighbor's backyard as if answering Boston's unspoken prayer. "Watch this."
The sound of his daughter's laugh followed moments later.
Amazed he could actually discern her laugh, Boston stood in frozen wonder for a second. Yes, that was definitely his 106