“No. At least, it hadn’t been for me.”
She raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Knowing what I do about your … habits, I have a hard time believing that.”
He stood, urging her to her feet so he could pull her into his embrace. “There is a difference between doing such things simply to scratch an itch, and doing them with a person you are utterly absorbed with. I can honestly say I’ve never felt anything like what we just did … and I wasn’t even inside you.”
Nick was surprised by the unguarded truth of those words. He’d spent so long chasing meaningless pleasures that he hadn’t realized what true connection felt like. Now that he’d had the slightest taste of it, he was hungry for more. He wanted all of her, and irrationally wanted it all at once.
“I … I am still very confused,” she admitted, lowering her gaze. “I do not intend to toy with you, but here is much for me to consider.”
“I understand. But, I have only one request to make of you for right now. The rest can wait.”
“Yes?”
He ducked his head to snare her gaze, giving her a little squeeze and kissing her brow. “Release me from our contract. I can no longer go on helping you snare Lewes when I want you for myself. I’m afraid my use as your courtesan has run its course.”
She laughed, but then nodded her agreement. “I think that is only fair. Though … don’t you need the funds?”
Nick read the worry between her words, sensing there was another question she’d neglected to voice aloud.
“The state of my finances is my concern, not yours, with the exception of this one promise: my days of being bought and sold are over. There is no woman for me but you, goddess. I hope you will remember that when considering your options. If you need more incentive … well, there are a number of other things I can do to make you scream my name, and I’d be happy to perform them at your command.”
Laughter bubbled up from her throat. “I will keep that in mind, Mr. Burke. Now, I think we had better part ways.”
Raking her from head to toe with his gaze, his tongue crept out to wet his lips, the urge to lay her back on the settee and pick up where they’d left off nearly irresistible.
“Yes, I think we had better. I’m going to have the damnedest time keeping my hands off you. If you value your reputation, I suggest you stay out of my reach when we’re in the presence of others.”
She gave him a wide berth on her way to the door, stooping to retrieve her fichu and the few pins she could find scattered on the rug.
“Perhaps you can behave yourself long enough for us to speak later?” she asked. “Will you meet me in the garden tonight after everyone’s gone to bed?”
“Certainly, though I say you’re simply begging to be debauched with that strategy. Or perhaps you are the one with ill intentions. Will I find myself ravished if I venture into the garden after dark? Will I have to defend my virtue? Though I fear I shall be utterly helpless in the face of your wanton advances.”
She laughed again, and Nick loved the sound as much as he did her moans of pleasure. He’d never heard her laugh without restraint, and it stunned him to realize how thoroughly enchanting she was when her guard was lowered. The sparks he had noticed here and there were now a shining beacon as bright as the sun, captivating and magical.
“Behave yourself, Mr. Burke.”
“I will do my best, Miss Barrington. Until this evening.”
She gave him a final glance over her shoulder before making her exit, freeing him from the thrall that had him standing there, staring after her like a lovesick idiot.
Pacing the length of the room, he turned his thoughts to the things he would have to do once he returned to London.
He was going to have to tell his friends that his days as a gentleman courtesan were now at an end. Despite knowing it was what needed to be done, he realized this might cause him to lose one of the best friends he’d ever had. Because, when Nick confessed to being in love and wanting to marry his keeper—the third courtesan in the span of a year to do so—Benedict was quite possibly going to murder him.
Chapter 11
“An interesting development to come out of the previous Season is the sudden popularity of one, Mr. G. With no actual ties to le bon ton, one must wonder just how he’s managed to earn himself invitations into so many illustrious homes of late. I suppose one need only look at the man to determine why so many mamas crave his attendance at their soirees—the man is as beautiful as Michelangelo’s David, and is charming besides. Of course, if any of you have set your caps for him as a marriage prospect, I must caution you—the gentry gent is set to inherit a crumbling country pile that is so deep in debt it is a wonder his father hasn’t yet been dragged off to debtor’s prison.”
The London Gossip, September 24, 1819
Calliope spent the rest of the day feeling as if she floated on air, her feet inches above the ground and her head in the clouds. The shame she ought to feel at allowing Dominick to take liberties with her body was notably absent, and there was nothing but joy. It should distress her to think the guests might see the life-changing shift that had occurred within her, her eyes now opened and her heart clutched firmly in the hands of Dominick Burke.
However, she found it difficult to care what anyone might assume or think when she was so illogically happy. In the back of her mind, she was aware that the burgeoning feelings she had tried so hard to fight further complicated matters. There was still Martin, who only awaited the approval of her father before making an official proposal. There was her papa, who was under the impression that she would choose the man she had praised only a few days ago while deemphasizing her connection to Dominick. There was the matter of their contract.
None of it mattered just now. She had tasted ecstasy, given in to the frightening urges she had previously thought of as inconsequential and base. And while the heated moments of bare skin, dizzying kisses, and forbidden caresses had been the lewdest experience of her life, they had also been the most extraordinary. A kiss wasn’t just a kiss with Dominick, and pleasures of the flesh became something spiritual. How could she spend the rest of her life with someone who didn’t make her feel a fraction of what Dominick inspired in her?
Who cared about practicality when love stood within reach?
After stopping off in her bedroom to put her appearance back in order, avoiding Ekta’s questions and probing stares, Calliope had joined the party just in time for lunch, after which a trip into the nearby village of Box Hill had been planned. It was difficult to pretend to care about shopping and exploring with the other ladies when she was so aware of Dominick, who was always near, but never close enough to touch. He watched her with an intensity that left her hot all over, parts of her body tingling as she remembered the stimulation of his mouth and his hands.
Had there ever been a more enthralling sight than Dominick in the throes of ecstasy, the cords of his neck stretched taut as he surrendered to her touch, teaching her how to give him the very same pleasure he had bestowed upon her?
Nudging her as they inspected the offerings of a haberdashery, Diana gave her a knowing look.
“Sister, I feel it is my duty to inform you that if you continue staring at Mr. Burke that way, absolutely everyone is going to know you’re mad for him.”
Lowering her gaze and feigning interest in spools of ribbon, Calliope flushed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh really? Then it would be wrong to assume that sometime within the past several hours, he has done something decidedly naughty to you? Why else would you have that look in your eyes and that foolish grin on your lips?”
“Diana!”
To her relief, the rest of their party seemed engrossed in their shopping.
“Play coy all you want, but I know the look of a satisfied woman. Hastings puts that expression on my face quite often.”
Calliope rolled her lips between her teeth to keep from grinning, no longer ignorant or scandalized by such
talk. She understood all-too well what her sister referred to now, thanks to Dominick.
“Oh, Diana … am I foolish for being besotted with him? None of this is according to our plans, but I cannot help myself. The way he makes me feel …”
Diana took her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. “You are not foolish. I daresay you are in love, and there is nothing wrong with that. And who gives a fig about plans? I cannot tell you how happy I am for you. At least … I can celebrate this turn of events, yes? Mr. Burke intends to make an honest woman of you?”
She sneaked another glance at Nick, who stood with his back to them, inspecting something at the counter as he conversed with the shopkeeper.
“I believe he does. There is still much for us to figure out, but … I don’t think it is premature of me to think he has marriage on the mind. We have plans to meet tonight and talk things over.”
Diana let out an excited squeal, which anyone around them might assume had to do with the lovely violet ribbon she inspected. But, her eyes welled with unshed tears as she looked to Calliope.
“I knew he would rise to the occasion. He simply needed a little time to come to his senses.”
“Whatever gave you that impression?”
“Oh, just a feeling. And the fact that he practically seethed with jealousy whenever Mr. Lewes came anywhere near you. I thought they would come to blows.”
The thought of two men fighting over her had no bearing on the warmth that spread through her just then. It had everything to do with realizing Dominick wanted her, and the hope that he perhaps even loved her.
“Say nothing of this to anyone,” she cautioned.
“Of course not. My lips are sealed, albeit grudgingly.”
The rest of the afternoon passed with secretive glances traded between her and Dominick, though Calliope would have to be blind not to also notice the affect this was having on Martin, who was clearly incensed. Guilt niggled her conscience, but she pushed it aside and chose to hold fast to her happiness. It wasn’t as if Martin hadn’t been led to believe he had competition. What did it matter that Dominick’s attentions hadn’t been genuine from the start? Martin was a fine man, and he would find a woman who could care for him the way she did Dominick.
After their return from Box Hill, Calliope returned to Ekta, submitting to the ministrations of the maid to prepare her for dinner. She left Ekta with instructions to find her bed whenever she was ready. She didn’t want Ekta waiting up for her or asking about her arranged meeting with Dominick. If she needed help unfastening her gown, she could always enlist Diana.
Steps light, she left her bedroom to make her way downstairs. A pair of servants breezed past her, seemingly oblivious to her presence. They were in a hurry, the male servant shaking his head as he held up a waistcoat for his companion’s inspection.
“I don’t know what else the man expects of me,” he grumbled, his voice echoing back to Calliope as she paused and turned to watch them go. “His clothes are in such a shabby state, yet he expects me to work my fingers to the bone making them look brand new. I am not capable of miracles.”
Curiosity pricked her as she realized the man was a valet—one who was put out with his master.
The other servant made a sound of disapproval, but he slapped the valet on the back. “You need only put up with it a few more months, at least. If he’s successful with Barrington’s daughter, he’ll be able to afford an entire new wardrobe.”
“I wish he’d hurry things along. He risks losing that fortune of hers to Mr. Burke, the bounder. Did you know it’s rumored to be as much as …”
Calliope leaned against the wall, staring unseeingly after the servants as they disappeared around the corner. She never did hear what her fortune was rumored to be, but it didn’t matter. That Martin’s valet was privy to the knowledge left a bitter taste in her mouth, and she wondered just how he’d come by that knowledge. Perhaps he’d merely been guessing, knowing as everyone did that her father had returned from India a wealthy man before inheriting even more riches along with his title.
Pressing a hand to her belly, she told herself she didn’t care. She had made her choice. Still, it annoyed her to know he had been motivated, at least in part, by her money.
She pushed away from the wall, deciding to be glad she had overheard the servants’ conversation. Now, she could move forward with Dominick without the nagging guilt that she had jilted a man who actually cared about her. London was filled with heiresses and Martin could have his pick of them.
Martin had already arrived in the drawing room, though Dominick had not. Her father was also present, along with Hastings and Diana. Ignoring Martin’s genial smile, she accepted a cordial from a passing footman and approached her sister.
Her father and brother-in-law gave her a quizzical glance as she mumbled a greeting at them before taking her sister by the arm and steering her to a quiet corner of the room.
“Callie, what on Earth?”
“Did you tell Mr. Lewes the amount of my inheritance?”
Diana furrowed her brow. “No, of course not! Why would you think I had?”
“Someone has told him. I overheard his valet speaking of how shabby his clothes are and how desperately he needs to wed me for my fortune. If not you, then who? Very few people know the actual amount.”
Diana’s lips thinned and she gave her husband an exasperated look. “Hastings. He’s the only person close enough to Lewes to even think of mentioning it. Oh, I’m so sorry, dear.”
Calliope’s shoulders sagged. “Don’t be cross with him. I suppose he thought himself being helpful. We all know how desperate I have been to snare a husband, and I suppose he thought my wealth would be enough to tempt Mr. Lewes.”
“Still, I intend to have a word with him about this. It is a good thing you’ve chosen Mr. Burke, I say. The man might need money, but he was nothing but honest about his circumstances. Meanwhile, Mr. Lewes has been jaunting about London in a new phaeton—though who knows how he was able to afford it?”
Calliope patted her sister’s shoulder, amused that Diana was more upset about this turn of events than she was. “It does not matter. As you’ve said, I made my choice.”
Just then, Martin approached, his smile still there but less pleasant than it had been at the onset. He seemed put out by Calliope’s iciness toward him. Diana pulled away, gaze intent upon her husband.
“Oh, Hastings, my dear … might I have a word with you?”
Calliope winced, hoping Diana wouldn’t be too hard on the man.
She was forced to forget her sister and brother-in-law as Martin came near, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
“Calliope, darling, you are radiant this evening. I take it you enjoyed our jaunt to Box Hill this afternoon?”
She studied the man she had nearly chosen as her husband with an objective eye, and wondered how she had ever built him up as some romantic ideal in her mind. Even without Dominick’s presence to overshadow him, he now appeared ordinary to her eyes. He was still as handsome as he’d always been, but the fanciful adoration she’d felt toward him was gone, and she realized now that it had begun fading weeks ago.
“I did,” she replied between sips of her cordial, her gaze moving about the room.
Dominick had entered when she hadn’t been paying attention, and now knelt at Aunt Louisa’s feet. She and Aunt Doris looked on as he scratched behind Horatius’s ear, earning himself huffs and sighs of bliss from the round dog.
“You seem distracted this evening,” Martin said, regaining her attention. “Is everything all right?”
“Of course.”
“Mr. Burke has certainly made a spectacle of himself this week, don’t you think?”
She tore her gaze away from the man in question, trying not to show how charmed she was by watching him play with Horatius. Apparently, the aunts were just as captivated, smiling down at him as he wrapped both the ladies and the dog around his finger.
“
Whatever do you mean?”
Martin rolled his eyes. “He has spent weeks vying for your attention, only to turn around and set his sights on the widow. Haven’t you noticed the two of them? It is quite shameful, the way they flirt and carry on.”
Calliope found Lady Thrush hovering near Dominick and the aunts, clearly looking for an opening to engage him. Her teeth ground together as the woman bent over to pet Horatius, her bosom on full display due to the low neckline of her gown. Calliope bit back a giggle when Horatius growled at Lady Thrush, before rolling onto his belly beneath Dominick’s hand, making his preference known.
“I suppose I can understand the allure,” Martin added. “Though I would think you far too intelligent to be drawn in by false charm and obvious manipulation.”
Calliope took a step away from him, her hand clenching around her glass. “Are you insinuating something about my association with Mr. Burke?”
Martin’s bravado faltered, and he reached for her, his hand gentle on her arm. “I only seek to remind you of our previous conversation, as well as the one I am set to have with your father in the morning. I have made my intentions clear—”
“That you have, Mr. Lewes,” she snapped, prying her arm from his hold as discreetly as possible. They had not yet drawn any attention, but she didn’t wish to make a scene. “Though I would not be so quick to accuse Mr. Burke of falsehood when you have your share of secrets.”
Martin blanched, panic flashing in his eyes before he glowered at Dominick. “He told you, didn’t he? I knew he would use what he saw to discredit me. Darling, everyone finds themselves in a bind from time to time. That I was forced to make use of a pawn broker to keep myself in the way I am accustomed has no bearing on my feelings for you.”
Calliope blinked, head spinning as she digested these words. Dominick had witnessed Martin in such a shameful position?
Making of a Scandal (The Gentleman Courtesans Book 3) Page 22