Jamie saw me as soon as I stepped over the threshold, his furious expression morphing into shock.
Oliver was rising from the floor when he noticed Jamie’s attention shift. He whirled around and saw me.
Having Oliver in the same room as me after all this time felt surreal. His blond hair was longer than I remembered. The tousled waves looked limp. The green of his eyes still shone brilliantly, but the skin around them looked darker. Everything was as I remembered, but also somehow dulled. The magnetic pull I’d always felt around him didn’t reappear.
For a moment, his face quivered with surprise before he composed himself. “Ivy?”
I didn’t respond. He glanced between Jamie and I, calculating things, coming to conclusions, and he burst out in an incredulous laugh. “So this is who you’ve been occupying your time with while you’ve been waiting for me?”
The last of my delusions about Oliver crumbled that very second. The facade burst, and all that was left was shrapnel.
“I haven’t been waiting,” I muttered. How could I have been so blind?
He laughed. “I have messages proving the opposite. ‘I dream of you often.’ Isn’t that what you recently wrote me?”
Jamie’s face fell, and it made me want to shrivel up and die. What have I done?
“No,” I rasped in a voice I didn’t recognize as my own.
Oliver took a step toward me and opened his arms. “I’m finally here. You’ve been waiting for this moment for years, beautiful. I’m yours at last.”
I took a step back. “I heard everything you said.”
“I can explain,” he purred, making my gut churn.
“No, you can’t,” I grit out and forced myself to meet his eyes. I wanted to see him, really see him. See past the cruelly handsome face, and the emerald eyes that had haunted my dreams for so long. I needed to face him so that I could finally accept all the things I’d been so wrong about.
I knew the moment he started to feel uncomfortable, the moment he unconsciously sensed what I was doing, but I kept staring into the depths of his dark pupils until I finally saw the man he’d been all along.
The man I thought he was didn’t exist. It was a carefully crafted mask. Behind the mask, there was nothing but a terrifying, vampiric darkness.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I moved my attention away from him. The chains had snapped. There was nothing tying me to him anymore.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to Jamie, who was looking at me from below his lashes, his face carved into a broken frown.
Brushing past Oliver, I pulled open the front door and escaped into the evening.
19
JAMIE
My chest constricted as I watched Ivy leave. Everything inside of me itched to chase after her, but I knew I had to put this situation with Oliver to rest, once and for all. My fingers tightened around the edge of the kitchen counter at my back as I waited for my unwelcome guest to face me again.
He was looking at the open door, his neck and jaw tense. I couldn’t see his expression from where I stood, but I knew he was riled up. The long stare down that had passed between him and Ivy would be forever etched into my memory, because I knew she finally understood. The illusion had disintegrated. And there was nothing Oliver was more afraid of than having people see him for what he really was.
She didn’t know it, but with that poignant silence, she’d dealt him a heavy blow, far more deadly than any words could be.
My old bandmate kicked the door closed. The slam reverberated through the house, and he twisted around. “She’ll be begging me to take her back within the hour.”
I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.
He sneered at my silence and cracked his neck. Seeing him this rattled was absurdly satisfying.
“You think you’ve won?” he asked. “Got my money and got my girl?”
“She was never your girl,” I told him, keeping my voice level. He wanted to rile me up, to make me lose control, but I was determined not to let him.
“Is that what she’s told you?” He smiled coldly, his expression implying some secret knowledge. “Ivy’s a good liar. I’ve always liked that about her.”
I crossed my legs, trying to distract myself from the heart palpitations in my chest. Why hadn’t I asked Ivy about her relationship with Oliver earlier? I had been so sure that whatever happened between them was history. Had I deceived myself because I was afraid to find out the truth?
“You know,” Oliver said, interrupting the thoughts running through my head. “I get it. I get why she came to you. You were a connection to me, and she’s been so desperate to see me again,” he said, furrowing his brow in mocking pity. “Hate to say it, but she was probably imagining me every time you were with her.”
Don’t let him get inside your head.
It took every ounce of my self-control not to pummel his face in with my bare hands. I could do it. I was stronger than him now, not to mention far more sober, but I knew that was exactly what he wanted me to do. I’d never get the truth about Ivy from him. I could only get that from her. “If you try to contact her again, I’ll break every single bone inside your body.”
A vein in Oliver’s temple pulsed hard enough for me to notice. “You’re nothing, Jamie. Remember that. You’re fucking nothing without me. Here.” He reached into an inner pocket of his leather jacket, pulled out a bottle of Stolichnaya vodka, and slammed it down on the counter. “My gift to you. Let’s see how long this perfect little life of yours will last now that you no longer have to focus on winning your court battle against me.”
My gaze caught on the bottle and stayed on it as the door swung open and slammed behind Oliver. A brutal headache was blooming inside my head, and there was a sinking feeling inside my stomach. I had to go after Ivy, had to talk to her, but wouldn’t it all be easier if I just had a small sip first?
The bottle felt cool in my hand. I used to finish off a pint like this over a half-hour lunch back in the day, and it barely affected me then. What real harm could come from one shot? I needed all the strength I could get for the conversation with Ivy. What if I had been wrong about her? What if she still wanted Oliver—wanted him more than she wanted me?
The cap came off with a loud snap as I broke the metal seal, and the harsh smell of alcohol filled the air. I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nose. God, I missed that smell. I missed the taste even more.
My hand shook as I lifted the bottle to my mouth, but before I could tip it, my phone emitted a frantic buzzing noise. What if it was Ivy calling me?
I grabbed the device and saw Nial’s name on the screen. A breath left my lungs, and I placed the bottle down before picking up the call.
“Jamie,” he greeted me, his voice familiar and comforting. “How did it go?”
“Has anyone ever told you you have perfect timing?” I breathed. “He came to my house and brought me a gift.”
There was a silence on his end. “Are you alone? You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I won’t be for long.”
“Pour it all out right this second.”
I carried the bottle to the sink and poured the contents out, watching the clear liquid swirl down the drain. “Done.”
“What happened?”
“I won. He was furious that I wouldn’t settle. And I refused to sign an NDA about what had happened. The recordings were enough for the jury to make a verdict in my favor.”
“Congratulations,” Nial said. “It’s over.”
I sighed. “Yeah. But then he came over here to land a few punches, and Ivy overheard him. I have to go find her.”
“Want me to help?”
“She must have gone home, but I’ll message if anything comes up.”
“Okay. Good luck, Jamie.”
I raced down the freeway while I organized my thoughts and sequenced the explanations. There was so much to unpack about my past that it was difficult to know where I should start. The thirty minutes it
took me to get to Ivy’s apartment wasn’t nearly enough, but I had a half-baked plan as to how to proceed.
I’d never gone up to her apartment, but the directory said she lived in unit 305. I jogged up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and soon I was pounding on her door. It swung open, but it wasn’t Ivy on the other side.
“Jamie?” Zoey asked, her brows pinching together in confusion. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to Ivy.”
She shook her head. “She’s not here.”
“What do you mean she’s not here?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat in my temples. “Where is she?”
“I thought she was at your place with you.”
She hadn’t come home. Where could she have gone? My imagination projected a dozen terrifying possibilities. I jerked my phone out of my pocket and dialed her number.
“Jamie?” Zoey asked, her voice concerned. “What happened?”
Why the fuck didn’t I go after her immediately? She’d looked upset but composed when she left. I didn’t think there was any danger of her doing something—
The call went to voicemail.
“We need to find her,” I said to Zoey through the thickening in my throat. “We have to find her right now.”
Two hours later, we’d driven to every spot on campus Zoey thought Ivy might go to. We’d texted all of her friends and even gone to check if she was hiding out in her favorite coffee shop in Beverly Hills. We didn’t need to get out of the car to see it was closed.
“Fuck!” I slammed my hands on the wheel. “This is all my fault.”
“Calm down,” Zoey instructed in a clipped voice. “You losing your shit isn’t going to help the situation.”
I looked over to see her dialing Ivy’s phone for the hundredth time. Her sigh told me it went straight to voicemail again.
“I think we should go home and wait for her there,” she said.
“I can’t sit doing nothing while she’s pulling a disappearing act,” I bit out. “We’ll keep looking.”
“Have you messaged Oliver?” Zoey asked after a long pause. “I can’t imagine what seeing him after all this time did to her.”
I grit my teeth and looked out the window. While we’d searched, I’d given Zoey a summary of what happened back at my place, and her reaction had been illuminating. It was clear that Ivy hadn’t gotten over him until long after the tour had ended. “She’s not with him,” I said.
“You don’t know that.” Zoey’s voice had softened.
“Did Ivy say anything to you about meeting him tonight?” I demanded.
“No,” she said firmly. “She hasn’t talked to me about him at all since she started seeing you. I thought she’d blocked his number by now. But maybe she didn’t. Did he say anything that made it seem like he wanted to reconcile with her?”
“Reconcile? No. He all but implied he wanted to get payback for what she did to help me. I don’t think Ivy would go looking for him after what she overheard.”
Some part of me was glad when she came out into the kitchen, and I realized she’d never left my house. Oliver had exposed himself for who he really was, and she’d heard it right out of his own mouth. This would soon be over—the secrecy, the omissions, the misunderstandings—but I had to find her first. I wanted to bang my head on the wheel until it bled.
“Jamie.” Zoey nudged my arm. “We’re not going to find her sitting in this parking lot. Drive us back to the apartment, and we’ll regroup. I can try logging into her computer. If I can guess her password, we can use Find My Phone.”
The plan was dubious at best, but I was out of ideas. If it didn’t work, I was ready to call the police.
Once inside the building, we jogged up the stairs and into the empty apartment. Zoey grabbed Ivy’s laptop and set it up on the kitchen counter.
“Okay. I’ll try the password she used back in high school,” she said, hammering something on the keys. “Nope.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“It used to be Arcade Fire. That was her favorite band growing up. I’ll try a few variations.”
I paced the length of the living room while Zoey typed. “When did she get this laptop?”
“The summer before we left for college, I think.”
A thought appeared. “Was this before or after the tour?”
Zoey stopped typing. “After. Actually, I remember now. We got it when we went shopping together to buy stuff for our dorm. It was after the tour.”
If her passwords were bands she liked…“Try Ritual Disruption.” I prayed to God I wouldn’t have to try “Oliver” next.
Zoey met my eyes for a brief second. “’Kay.” Her fingers moved lightning fast. “It worked.”
I let out a sigh of relief and walked over to her side. “Okay, let’s track her down.”
Zoey was way ahead of me, already opening the location app. It asked for a password, but thankfully, the same one worked.
A small bubble with the letters “IA” glowed on a digitized map. Zoey tapped her fist against her lips. “She’s in the building. She’s…” Zoey turned to face me, her skin flushed. “I’m a fucking idiot. I know where she is.”
“Wh—” I didn’t get a chance to ask, because Zoey was already running out the door, and I followed behind her. She stopped in front of an apartment down the hall and began to bang on the surface. “Mimi! We know she’s in there. Open up.”
When no one answered, I tugged her out of the way and smashed my fist on the door. “Open this door, or I swear I’ll break it down.”
I leaned in, pressing my ear against the surface, and I heard someone swearing inside. “I’m serious,” I yelled. “Open up. We’re here for Ivy.”
At last, the handle turned with a metallic creak, and a girl with a pink pixie cut stood glaring at us from the threshold. “Yell a bit louder, will ya?”
I pushed past her, noting a guy smoking a joint in an armchair in the corner of the room. My eyes narrowed at him. “Where is Ivy?”
“The neighbor?” the guy drawled. “She’s in the bedroom.”
The girl who let us in jumped in front of me and put her palms against my chest. “She didn’t want to see anyone.”
“I don’t care,” I said, moving past her to push open the first door I saw.
Ivy was lying on a bed, passed out.
“Mimi, what the fuck?” Zoey hissed behind me. “What did you do to her?”
“You all need to check yourself. She came to me.”
I kneeled on the ground beside the bed, touching Ivy’s face with my hands, but she didn’t wake. Everything was falling into place inside my head. Mimi. I’d heard that name before. This was the “friend” that left Ivy alone in a club when she was high, and now, it looked like she’d given her something else.
“What did you give her?” I demanded, piercing Mimi with a hard look.
Zoey looked horrified. “You drugged her?”
“Oh my God, relax, you psychos,” Mimi said with a scowl. “I gave her an Ambien. I ran into her a few hours ago. She was crying and needed something to help her calm down.”
I dropped my head on Ivy’s stomach and let out a relieved sigh.
“Is she going to be okay?” Zoey asked.
“Yes. She’ll wake up in a few hours,” I said.
Mimi scoffed. “Did you think I was going to murder her or something? Jesus Christ. Get the fuck out of my place, would you?”
I grabbed Ivy under her shoulders and knees, lifted her off the bed, and carried her out the room. Zoey kept arguing with Mimi, but I tuned them out, focused on getting Ivy into her own bed. She looked so sorrowful in my arms, her face pale and unhappy. God, I wanted to talk to her so fucking badly.
When I emerged from Ivy’s bedroom, Zoey was waiting for me in their living room, her expression a mix of relief and apprehension. She sat on the armchair with her legs folded in front of her.
“I feel so stupid,” she said, shaking her head. “I should have kno
wn she might be at Mimi’s. It’s what she did the last time she was upset.”
“Upset about what?”
Ivy’s friend let out a long breath and cast me a weary look. “The situation with Oliver. She was finally ready to get over him. He’s lived inside her head for years, Jamie, and fuck, maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I can see that you really like her, and I don’t want you to give up on her. She’s been noticeably happier since you started seeing each other.”
Sitting down on the sofa across from her, I put my elbows on my knees and leaned forward. “Tell me what’s been going between them.”
She winced. “I—”
“Please, Zoey. You don’t need to get into the details, but I’m flying blind right now. All I’ve been able to gather so far is that they somehow stayed in touch over the years. What was he trying to do? I want to know what I’m going to be dealing with when she wakes up.”
Zoey unfolded her legs and put her feet down on the ground. “She really hasn’t said anything to you?”
“It’s our rule. We don’t talk about Oliver to each other. He was a shadow that would appear from time to time, but we did our best to ignore it. We were both afraid what talking about him would do to us,” I admitted.
It had been a mistake, and the look in Zoey’s eyes told me she thought the same thing. I’d been so focused on protecting the happiness I had with Ivy, that I’d turned a blind eye to something I shouldn’t have. Real relationships didn’t work that way. Real relationships could withstand a storm.
“When she returned from that tour, she was heartbroken,” Zoey began. “Ivy told Sophie and I everything that had happened between her and Oliver. She fell madly in love with him, but it was more than the typical madness that comes with someone’s first love. Her feelings for him bordered on obsession. He was the only thing she’d talk about. She was very angry at you for a long time, blaming you for interfering, but I think in many ways she was projecting her own anger at herself on you. She thought it was her fault that things ended the way they did.”
“And how did they end?”
Pretty Words: An Enemies To Lovers Rock Star Romance (River Valley Rebels) Page 27