"We are good." I could hear Kaley's smile in her voice. "I was wondering if you wanted to get together at a park for a picnic today? I'm needing some girl time."
"Sure," I answered, surprised and pleased by the invitation. "That sounds fun. If you don't mind that the girl time will include a little stinker two year old."
Kaley laughed. "I don't mind. There’s a pretty nice park not too far from me. I'll put something together and meet you there. I’ll text you the address of the park.
"Sounds good. But I can pack a lunch for Jeran and me," I told her.
"It was my invite. I've got this. I'll let you pick it up next time," she said. "See you in a bit."
After checking in with Stacy, I buckled Jeran in and headed for the park. We were starving by the time we arrived and sat down at a table near the playground. Jeran ran for the toys, hunger momentarily forgotten, while Kaley unpacked our feast. I watched Jeran climb the stairs and disappear into the red plastic tunnel.
"So girl time, huh?" I asked, opening the container of blueberries and stealing one before I set the bowl on the table.
"I wouldn't trade my three guys for anything, but sometimes it gets lonely surrounded by men. You know? Growing up, I always wished I had a sister. Don't get me wrong. James is the best brother. He wasn't even that bad to have around when we were younger. My friends seemed irritated by their little sisters tagging along a lot of the time, but it just looked fun to me." She shrugged.
"I know what you mean. Trevor is my only sibling. It's fun having his wife, Stacy, for a sister," I told her. "But until the past few months, we haven't had a chance to get very close, living in different states and all."
"With James' track record, it looks like I won't even get that," Kaley lamented. I wanted to ask what she meant by ‘his track record’, but didn't want to pry.
"How long have you and Mark been married?" I asked instead.
"Just over twelve years," she said. At the look of surprise on my face she confided, "It took a few years to finally get pregnant. There was a time when we didn't think it would ever happen. We are grateful to have the two we got."
I called Jeran over and sat him next to me at the table. A little digging in my purse produced a package of wet wipes and a bottle of hand sanitizer and I scrubbed as much of the playground off of his hands as I could.
"It's funny to think that you are only a few years older than I am and you've been married for twelve years and have two boys. Life is definitely interesting in that it never happens the way you plan."
"Everyone has their own story. For sure." She paused to take another bite of her lunch. I could see an internal debate going on in her eyes.
"Just say it," I told her, inserting a straw into the top of Jeran's juice box and handing it to him. He took a long drink and slipped from the bench. I watched him toddle back to the playground.
"Don't be mad?" she asked. " I just wondered if you ever want to get married. Or are you too busy opening your therapy clinic to worry about that right now?" She cringed, afraid she had offended me.
How much to tell? She had told me about her trouble getting pregnant. I could give her a little. "I was engaged once," I admitted softly.
It was Kaley's turn to look surprised. She leaned forward and put her hand on my arm. "What happened?" she asked gently.
Just then, Jeran shot down the slide and landed with a bump on his rear end at the bottom. With a grin on his face, he jumped up and ran toward us. "Aunt Sophie," Jeran interrupted. "I wanna swing. You push me?"
"Sure. Come on, buddy. I'll race you." I motioned for Kaley to follow me so we could continue our conversation as I stood from the table. Jeran paused, ready to bolt, and grinned up at me. "Ready. Set.-" I began.
"GO!" Jeran shouted, his little legs already propelling him across the grass as quickly as they could. His squeals made me laugh and I reached out to tickle his back, making him squeal even louder and push harder to get to the swings. When we were a few feet from the swings, I picked him up under his arms from behind and swung him into the air. I placed him in the swing on his way back down.
"I flied," he laughed. "Push me, Aunt Sophie. Unda doggie."
"Under doggie, huh? Ok." I pushed him above my head and ran underneath the swing. I turned and pretended to growl at him.
"Yay. Yay!" he called.
When Jeran was settled into a steady rhythm, Kaley spoke from nearby. "You were telling me what happened with your engagement."
"Right. Kinda hoped you'd forget. So, we dated for over a year when things started to get a little tense between us. Then one night, he- Daniel’s his name- just out of the blue, asked me to marry him. I was so surprised because I had been bracing for him to end it that I said yes. We started planning and ordering. You know. All the pre-wedding things. Then two weeks before the wedding, he took me for a walk at the Riverwalk. He told me he couldn't marry me because he was in love with someone else." Kaley gasped and put a hand over her mouth. I continued, "He said he had tried to fight it and that's why things had been so tense right before he asked me to marry him. He said he thought if he went ahead with the marriage, he would be able to get over the guy."
Kaley choked. "Did you say guy?"
I laughed wryly. "Yeah. I guess I can be glad he had the decency to tell me in person instead of a phone call or even worse-- just not showing up the day of. I lost myself for a little while after that. I'm a little gun shy since then, but I do date. I ran into him a year or so later and he and his, uh, husband...whatever, are very happy."
"Good," Kaley stuttered. "He could have left you after you were married..."
"That would have been worse. I know," I agreed. "Anyway, in hindsight, I can see that he’d had reservations throughout our whole relationship." I sighed. "I just haven't met anyone worth the risk since."
"I guess in some ways you can feel good that it wasn't for another woman. I've always thought I'd wonder what she had that I didn't if Mark ever left me. Was she prettier, thinner, smarter, more successful? This way, you know it's not anything you did or didn't do."
"I guess. Way to find the bright side."
Kaley laughed. "Seriously though, I think you are great. James hasn't been this happy in a long time." I blushed when she mentioned James.
She laughed knowingly. "He's pretty great even if he is my brother." I blushed brighter and then her wicked grin turned contemplative as if she'd had a revelation. "Come to think of it, you're the first girl he's dated in yea...uh, quite a while." A look passed over her face that I couldn't identify.
"We aren't really dating," I told her. Unless you counted dinner the other night. But I didn't think James would. "We've only gone running and then with an unbelievable number of people to a few other places. He even told me yesterday that if he didn't run with me, he'd be playing ball with Andy. I've only been a stand in for his cousin. A way to switch things up." I was pleased that I could keep the despair out of my voice.
"He told you that?" she asked incredulously. "Maybe he's not so great after all," she said as I laughed. "Don't give up on him." She shook a finger at me. "No matter what you two say, I have a feeling about this."
"No matter what feeling you have, I'm only a visitor here." She frowned at my words. But then so did I because the excited seabirds that took flight in my stomach when Kaley said she had a feeling about James and me landed abruptly and made a home deep in my gut at my reminder of returning to Texas.
Jeran eventually tired of the swing and asked to get down. We wandered down a path and looked at flowers and played 'spot the banana slug', but Jeran's interest waned and his footsteps became slow and heavy. I picked him up, gently pressing his head to my shoulder.
"Someone is getting sleepy," I murmured as I rubbed his back and smiled at Kaley. "You've played hard, huh, buddy. Should we go home and find out which piggy makes the best house?"
Jeran rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Will the wolf get them this time?" he asked through a yawn.
"Let's
go see." And we headed to our cars.
"Can you tell Kaley thank you for the yummy lunch?"
"My mouth is too sleepy," he mumbled.
Kaley laughed and gave me a one-armed hug as she spoke to Jeran. "I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you brought Aunt Sophie to play with me."
He lifted his head and looked at her through half closed eyes. "You not swing."
"No," she laughed. "But we talked while you were pushed on the swings. That's close enough."
"Aunt Sophie to big fo the swings," he agreed.
"Too many cookies." I smiled and kissed the top of his head as I buckled him into his car seat.
Kaley smiled. "Thanks, Sophie. Let's do this again soon. And remember what I said about you and James. I think you'll find he's worth the risk."
I waved her off and smiled as I buckled my seatbelt and pulled away from the park. I had worried that our picnic would be a little awkward because I didn't know what to call my relationship with James. And besides James' birthday party, I'd only spoken with Kaley at dinner the previous Sunday. But the picnic had been fun. If I wasn't returning to Texas sometime in the next month or so, I could see us becoming good friends.
We left Stacy with her little guy at the hospital and I led out in the direction of the waterfront. I loved getting out and seeing the city. And the view next to me wasn’t bad either. I snuck another peek at him and smiled. Sunday had been so good. And then the haircut and dinner Wednesday were even better. With all the time we had been spending together, I was falling for him. I couldn’t help it.
We headed down the hill and I was really digging this change in elevation. Who knew hundreds of feet could make running that much easier. No pun intended. I tried not to laugh at my own stupid joke. “You know, pretty soon, I’ll outpace you and may have to trade you in for a new running partner.” I held back a smile as he looked at me and grinned.
“Oh yeah? You think you’re pretty fast? Care to put that to the test?”
“Go!” I shouted and took off down the hill. We sprinted past buildings and pedestrians, flying. When we got to the waterfront, I leaned over, gasping for air.
“We really need to talk about your tendency to cheat,” he puffed next to me. I tried not to stare at his abdomen as he lifted his shirt to wipe his forehead. Holy moly. “What is it they say, San Antonio? Cheaters never prosper?”
I blinked and looked up at his grinning face. “Well, they were wrong because I kicked your trash.”
“Kicked my trash? Such talk from a demure Texas gal.”
I snorted. “Demure? I guess it’s good to aspire to something." I paused as if thinking and then said, "Here. Would this help the image?” I looked up at him through my lashes, fluttered them a few times, and said in my best Texas drawl, "Ah kicked yo-wuh trash, Doctuh."
He laughed. “Doesn't matter how you say it. You lie as well as cheat. I may have to trade you in for a new running partner because there is no way you beat me in that sprint.” He slung an arm around my shoulder and turned me back the way we had come.
“I’ll give it to you this time if it makes you feel better,” I allowed. He chuckled and gave my shoulders a quick squeeze.
A few minutes later, I broke the companionable silence. “What is the one thing you most regret from your past?” I instantly felt him stiffen next to me. His arm dropped from my shoulders. Not good.
“You first,” he said, looking up at the buildings surrounding us. Anywhere but at me.
“I asked you first,” I teased and bumped him with my hip. “Come on. There has to be something. Everyone regrets something, right?”
“What kind of a question is that?” He stopped and turned to me, his voice hard.
I frowned. “It’s a pretty simple question.” I paused for him to answer the question. When he didn’t, I relented. “I’ll go first then.”
But before I could speak, he demanded, “What did Kaley tell you?"
“What?” I asked, confused. “Nothing. What are you talking about?”
“Things were going well.” He gestured with a hand back and forth between us. “Why do you always have to go and get all personal?”
I felt my eyes widen. “Personal?” What did he want it to be if it wasn’t personal? “It was just a question, James. Don’t answer it then. Why are y'all making such a big deal out of nothing?”
“You don’t need to know everything about everything.” He glared at me, his hand low on his hip, his whole stance screaming threatened. My eyes widened even further, if that was possible, at his words and body language.
“James…” I lifted a hand to touch his arm, but he stepped back out of reach. I felt like I'd been slapped. “Okay…Y'all know what? I’ve got to go.” I turned from him and sprinted in the direction of the hospital. I didn’t look behind me to see if he followed. I didn’t even slow down on the hill. My anger fed my pace and I flew up the hill without breaking stride. And they say women are hormonal and difficult to read. Aghh, men!
I texted Stacy from the parking lot to let her know I was back from my run and ready to head home whenever she was. What had James meant about always getting personal? What did he think Kaley had told me? What was he trying to hide?
I reached into my hoodie pouch and pulled out my phone. Adri wouldn't be home from the gym yet. Maybe Kaley could provide some insight into her brother's psyche. After the fourth ring, I heard, "Hey. This is Kaley. I'm probably wrestling my darling boys and can't get out of the WWE hold to answer my phone. Leave a message and I'll call you back when I get some down time. Probably when they are asleep."
"Hey, Kaley. This is Sophie. Would you give me a call when you get a minute? Thanks." I pushed end and sighed. Maybe I'd see if Stacy and Jeran were up for a trip to the beach tomorrow.
Chapter 17
James
"Mom, Dad?" I called as I pushed through the front door. I decided not to wait until tomorrow and made it to Tillamook in a little over half the time it normally took. The drive hadn't improved my mood and it looked like my parents weren't even home. I ran a hand through my short hair in frustration, but that only reminded me of Sophie again. I clenched my fists and growled.
"James, is that you?" My mom entered the family room and crossed to give me a hug. "I didn't know you were coming. Are you staying the whole weekend?"
I planted a kiss on her cheek. "I didn't know I was coming either. Where's Dad?"
"He's out tinkering. Have you had dinner?" she asked as she made her way down the hall to the kitchen.
"No, but I'm fine. I'm going to head out to the shop."
I jogged down the steps and across the backyard to Dad's shop. Sawdust met me at the door and I breathed deeply. The scent always managed to calm me. It probably had to do with all the years of working alongside Dad to finish one Scout project or another.
Dad looked up as I closed the door behind me. "Hey, son. What brings you to town?"
"Just needed to get away for a few days. What you working on?" I moved to stand beside him.
"Some shutters for the far upstairs bedroom. Your mom has been on me about it for a while now. Says the paint and bedding are fading with the sun exposure."
"They look like they are coming along. I really like the grain." I reached out and ran my hand along the cool, smooth wooden slats. "Are you staining or painting them?"
"It's up to your mother. This is her project. I'm just the workhorse." He looked at me and grinned.
I returned his grin. "You love every second of it. Admit it."
"Not too loudly or your mother will add to the already lengthy honey-do list and I'll need my meals and pillow delivered out here." I watched as he applied wood glue to a strip of wood. "You never told me why you are here." I saw his suspicious glance.
"Do I need a reason to visit?" I turned and brushed some sawdust off the shutter frames.
"How is the hospital? Hold this for me here, will you?"
I moved back to his side and held the wood where he indicated. "The
hospital is good. Busier than usual since I took on some of Dr. Harmon's little people. But what can I say? I love what I do."
My dad patted my shoulder, pleased, and asked, "How is your sister?"
"The boys are running her ragged. That reminds me. I need to talk to mom, tell her to lay off. When she hounds Kaley about one thing or another, Kaley rides me." I blew out an annoyed breath.
"It's enough to drive a person crazy." Dad chuckled.
"I don't know why you are laughing," I grunted.
"Don't you dare go saying anything to your mother. She has to be involved in someone's life. If it's not Kaley's, it's mine. No. Don't say a word to your mother."
I laughed out loud. "In other words, we suffer so you don't have to," I interpreted.
"Why do you think I encouraged having children?"
"It's all making painful sense to me now. I never thought of you as cruel until this moment."
Dad laughed and I soon joined in. This was what I needed. Dad. The shop. Wood. A couple more days of this and I'd be able to return to the real world.
"What are your plans for today?" my mother asked the following morning over breakfast.
"I thought about giving Dad a hand out in the shop. See if we can't get your shutters finished and hung. Maybe head to Oceanside later this afternoon." I shrugged. "I haven't really planned farther out than that."
"Well, plan to go to church with us tomorrow. There's a darling girl I want you to meet."
I shot my dad an exasperated look, shoved the last bite of pancake into my mouth, and carried my dishes to the sink. "Take your time, Dad. I'll be out in the shop."
I slipped quickly out the door, but not before I heard my mother say, "You know, Max, I've been thinking that that back bedroom could use..." I grinned and walked faster. Poor Dad.
"Hold it right there while I set this screw," my dad instructed, raising the drill.
With one shutter remaining to hang, the ocean was calling to me. It was like an itch that I couldn't scratch until I was standing on the beach with the waves lapping around my feet. The distant cry of birds and rhythmic crashing of waves spoke to me in an indescribable way, not unlike the wood and sawdust in Dad's shop.
Matters of the Heart Page 14