by Sonia Parin
“Yes, of course. Contractions.”
“I suppose you’re a graduate too.”
Octavia gave a small nod. “I was a scholarship student.”
“Did you actually learn any practical skills?” Lexie asked as she glared at the gloves. “I mean... no one actually talks in full sentences. Mirabelle does, but she’s the exception. I’m thinking she wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“The Academy offers a full curriculum aimed at empowering its pupils with a well rounded education.”
Luna leaped up onto the bed and inspected her breakfast spread.
Bacon. Bacon. Bacon.
Octavia handed Lexie a piece of paper. “I’ve compiled a list of all faculty members for you.”
“Faculty? You make it sound like an Ivy League School when, in fact, it’s nothing but a glorified finishing school.”
Octavia and Luna stilled and stared at her, their eyelashes fluttering.
In case you were unable to decipher our silent dissent, we are not amused.
You’re kidding me. Did I just stumble upon your kryptonite?
Achilles Heel would be more appropriate. And it is not exactly our weakness.
Yeah? So you don’t really mind me poking fun at your frou-frou alma mater?
You... You...
Are you lost for words?
Her bedside clock struck the hour.
Lexie sprung upright. “Around the rugged rocks—” She clamped her hand over her mouth, but the words continued to whirl in her mind.
...the ragged rascal ran...
“Sorry, did you say something?” Octavia asked.
Lexie gave a brisk shake of her head. “Don’t mind me. I haven’t had my wake-me up coffee yet.”
“You should get a move on. You’re scheduled to arrive during morning assembly so that should give you an opportunity to get the lay of the land.”
Luna leaped into action. “So much to do. So little time.”
“Just one final run through the check-list. Sunbonnet. Gloves... Have we missed anything?”
Luna sprinted around the sitting room, not once but twice.
We have everything. Tell her to hurry up. After morning assembly, we are permitted into the front parlor where everyone congregates for mid-morning refreshments. There is an entire wall covered in trophies. I believe they still have a photo of me receiving my award on display.
What did you do? Win a prize for licking someone’s boots?
“I know there’s something else.” Octavia shook her head and looked around.
Parasol. Parasol. Tell her it’s the parasol.
Shush.
Tell her.
I will not.
You hid it.
Luna took off on another sprint. It didn’t take her long to find the parasol right where Lexie had kicked it. She skidded across the room and dove under the couch. Moments later, she emerged pushing the blasted parasol.
“Oh, there it is,” Octavia exclaimed, “I think we’re ready now.”
Missy, you better start looking over you shoulder because I’m going to get you for this.
You misunderstand my intentions. I am merely trying to spare you the embarrassment of not being properly attired. As the new pupil, you will fall under the scrutiny of both fellow pupils and faculty members. Put one foot wrong, and the indiscretion will follow you for the rest of your life. You’ll be labeled a—
Luna sprung back and screeched.
“What’s wrong with you now?”
Octavia turned pale. “I can’t believe I overlooked something so obvious. Black lace-up boots? You would never have lived that down.” She pointed her fingers at Lexie’s boots.
“Hey. Watch where you point your fingers.” She looked down at her feet. “No. Noooo. White shoes?”
“I believe you are now good to go. Although...” Octavia pinched her cheeks.
“Ouch.”
“There. Much better. You were looking quite pale.”
“Aren’t you afraid my crimson red cheeks will clash with my white shoes... and gloves... and, for heaven’s sake, puffy white sleeves?”
Octavia stepped back and tapped her chin. Her brows furrowed. Then she sighed. “Reticule.”
“I agree. This is ridiculous.”
She said reticule and I cannot believe she nearly forgot such an essential accessory.
What on earth is a reticule?
It is a small handbag with a drawstring. Oh, look. Octavia found you a pretty one with pearl beading and embroidery. You are lucky.
I’m going to cry.
Not to worry. You will find a lace handkerchief inside the reticule. No lady should be without one.
“I’m so sorry. There is no excuse for my lapses. I’m... I’m just so excited for you and, if truth be known, a little jealous. I wish I could go with you.” Octavia sighed. “Do you have your coordinates for the Lauriston Academy?”
Lexie rolled her eyes and nodded.
Luna leaped up onto her arms.
Don’t drop me.
That should be the least of your concerns. I might just leave your tail behind.
Focusing on the mental image of The Lauriston Academy for Ladies and Feline Companions Georgian era style building, she closed her eyes and clicked her white heels, praying to all the good faeries she’d managed to put a scuff mark on them.
Moments later she opened her eyes.
Did I make it in one piece? What color am I? Please tell me I’m white.
Mind your contractions.
How can I? I’m... I am beside myself with worry.
“I see I haven’t lost my touch.” Lexie rubbed her butt and tried to adjust her eyes to the darkness. They’d landed in some sort of confined space.
“Did your parasol make it?” Luna whispered.
“I probably broke my tailbone and you’re concerned about an umbrella?”
“Parasol.”
“I’m starting to worry about this obsession you seem to have about this place and everything associated with it.” She felt around her. “I’m guessing this is a door.” She pressed lightly until she heard a click. “It’s official. I’m a closet witch.”
“It’s taken you long enough to admit it.”
“Okay, let’s... let’s proceed with caution. Remember what happened the last time we did this. We definitely don’t want a repeat performance.” She crouched down and crawled out. Lexie sighed. “A bedroom.” Complete with a canopy bed, frilly cushions and dainty looking furniture.
Making sure the coast was clear, she rose to her feet. “Okay. We have one hour to snoop around so let’s make the best of it. We’re looking for proof of theft.”
“Where’s your parasol. Please tell me you brought it. You can’t have left it behind.”
“Are you hyperventilating?”
“Check the closet. It must be there. It must be...”
“All right already! It’s not as if I’m going to be prancing around in the sunshine. This will be a walk in and walk out job. Find the stolen items and that’ll lead us to the thief. We’ll have it wrapped up before the dinner bell rings.”
“It’s actually a gong, not a bell.”
“Whatever. Whoever took those items must have hidden them somewhere. We’ll search through the bedrooms—”
“Bedchambers.”
She found her parasol in the back of the closet. As she bent down to pick it up her hand brushed against something bristly.
“That was quick work. We’ve found our thief. Now we need to find out who sleeps in this room and we can go home.” She emerged from the closet carrying a mother of pearl hairbrush.
“That could belong to anyone and... and there were other items missing. A bracelet and... and gloves.”
“Get a hold of yourself. You’re going to work yourself up into a frenzy and start climbing walls. What do you think your fellow Lauristonians will think of you then?”
“You are right, of course. Thank you for pointing it out.” Luna sat
back and adopted a look of calm indifference.
Lexie inspected the hairbrush. The letters CL were etched elegantly on the handle. “I’m guessing this belongs to Claudette Lafayette. She had her hair shorn off. Penny didn’t mention anything about the missing items being hers.”
Luna heaved in a succession of quick breaths.
“What’s wrong with you now?”
“It is... Ms Penelope. Never... ever Penny.”
“Yeah, sure. All right.” She strode around the bedroom. Bedchamber, Lexie mentally corrected as she picked up a hairbrush from the dresser. No inscription. She set it back down again.
Luna rushed up to her. “What did you just do? Did you put it back exactly where you found it? Did you? Did you?”
Lexie frowned. “Huh?”
“A place for everything and everything in its place,” Luna recited. “If the hairbrush is not put back precisely where it was, then the occupant of this bedchamber will know—”
“Cut it out and cut to the chase. Your long sentences are doing my head in.”
“They will know someone’s been snooping around.”
Lexie nudged the hairbrush into place.
“Measure the distance between items.”
“You’re kidding.”
“There should be a finger width space between each item with everything lined up at a forty-five degree angle.”
Lexie snorted. “And that’s written where?”
“In The Lauriston Academy for Ladies and Feline Companions Guide Book for Harmonious Living.”
“Fine. Whatever. I always thought that was a tail in your back end, but now I’m thinking it’s something else...” After a quick look around, she dropped the stolen hairbrush inside her reticule. “Let’s keep looking. Lead the way and, I’m thinking we should maintain radio silence.”
Luna strutted out the door, peered down one end of the hallway and headed in the opposite direction.
Which floor do the teachers sleep in?
This one, but it will be a waste of time searching their bedchambers. They would have no reason to perpetrate such a petty crime. I’m surprised you found that hairbrush. It must have been placed there by the thief... as a decoy. Maybe they’re trying to frame one of the tutors.
You’re clearly biased and, hey... perpetrate...I just realized that’s where the term perp comes from. Just saying... All right, I’m going into the next bedchamber. You can be the stooge and keep watch.
Remember to replace everything precisely where you found it.
Yeah. Yeah. Holler if you see anyone coming.
The bedspread caught Lexie’s attention with its large embroidered emblem surrounding the letters E and H. Eloise Hamilton, Lexie thought. The top dog headmistress.
She heard Luna scratching at the door.
What?
Hurry, hurry. I have a feeling I’m being watched.
It’s your guilty conscience.
No. I have no qualms with my conscience.
Then it’s remorse for everything you do to me.
No. I’m sure someone is watching me.
Found something.
Lexie stepped out of the bedchamber. “This.” She dangled a bracelet.
“Impossible. This bedchamber belongs to Ms Eloise Hamilton, our most esteemed headmistress. Someone is definitely trying to point the finger of suspicion away from themselves.”
“Wait a minute, how do you know this is the headmistress’s bedchamber?”
“I know because it has always been her bedchamber and it will always be her bedchamber.”
“And if anyone should object, let them speak now or forever hold their peace?” Lexie dropped the bracelet inside her reticule. “I’m curious. If push comes to shove and you had to chose between me and a Lauristonian...”
Luna lifted her nose in the air. “I will not dignify that question with an answer.”
The next bedchamber yielded similar results. “I’m going to run out of room in my reticule.” Yet despite everything she’d been storing in it, it felt strangely light.
As they reached the next door, Luna sprinted up and planted herself in front of it. “No. Not this one.”
“Let me guess. This one belongs to Penny babe. Step aside.”
“Absolutely not. And I will not be party to this. Ms Penelope is above reproach.”
“In my books, that makes her suspect number one,” Lexie couldn’t help teasing her.
“You wouldn’t dare. Then again, I know you won’t find anything in there so go ahead.”
This had to be a prank. Lexie decided one of the students had made it their mission to stir the pot... stoke the fire... She smiled and imagined a version of herself getting quite bored with wearing white gloves and white dresses with puffy sleeves and coming up with a way to make life just a little bit more interesting.
Lexie sniffed.
“Sniffing is bad form. You should use your handkerchief and give your nose a dainty dab. Nothing too obvious. A mere brush will suffice.”
“Remind me to book you in for an appointment with the vet when we get home. We’ll need to have that stick removed. I wouldn’t want it to cause permanent damage.” Lexie sniffed again. “Do you smell that?”
“There are no smells at the Academy. Only aromas emanating from the kitchen.”
“You’re not smelling it.”
“I don’t need to.”
“Are you holding your breath? You really need to smell it.”
Luna shook her head.
“Hey. You are holding your breath.”
Luna pushed out a breath and gasped. “It can’t possibly be here. It must be coming from somewhere else. The neighbors perhaps...”
“No. It’s too strong. It has to be coming from here. I’m going to have a quick look inside this bedroom... bedchamber and then we’ll go see what that smell is about.” As she strode in, her step faltered.
The room looked as if it had been hit by a tornado. The four-poster bed had been dragged to the middle of the room, the rest of the furniture tipped over, all the clothes scattered about...
Her first instinct was to look for a body, which said a great deal about her recent experiences.
This was either the result of a struggle or someone doing a thorough job of looking for something. She preferred to think a mini tornado had somehow found its way in because the alternative was to suffer through endless days of dressing up like a Laurestonian full of hot air until she found...
No. No one was getting murdered. This was nothing but a case of petty theft... and mischief.
She strode back out. “Come on. Let’s follow the smell.”
“I take it you didn’t find anything incriminating?” Luna strutted off ahead of her. “I told you.”
As they reached the stairs, a scream echoed throughout the Academy.
They both stopped like proverbial deer caught in headlights. Then Luna leaped into action.
“This can’t be good.” Lexie raced after her. “Where are you going? Slow down. These ridiculous shoes were not made for running.”
“I am not running. I am merely walking at a brisk pace. Ladies or their feline companions do not run.”
“I think we’re past the point of you pretending. Be honest, this is really you.”
“Well, of course it is. Who else would I be?”
“I mean... this snooty you. You’ve always had your nose in the air moments, but now they’ve magnified... Amplified? Or is it intensified?”
“Living with you has forced me to make concessions. Yes, this is really me. At least... Oh, never mind.”
“All along... you’ve been pretending?”
“In order to fit in... I had to make adjustments.”
“You’re kidding? So all this time you could have been prancing around acting like a hoity-toity little missy. Gee, to think of what I’ve missed out on.” Lexie picked up the pace. “Hey, where are you going?”
“I’m sure the scream came from the kitchen.”
Luna stopped outside a set of double doors.
“Now what?”
“Only staff members are permitted beyond these doors. Pupils are only allowed in under strict supervision.”
“Well, since I’m here to investigate I guess I reserve the right to barge in.”
“You’ll get us into trouble,” Luna whined.
“About that photo of you in the parlor... I’m now thinking you won an award for being a goodie two shoes.” Lexie stepped inside the kitchen.
“Well?” Luna asked from the doorway.
“You’re seriously not going to come in? If anyone catches you, you could always blame me and say I misled you.”
“At the Academy, we are all taught to take full ownership of our decisions.” Luna sighed. “I suppose the investigation takes priority.”
They strode around a central workstation and stopped in front of the largest fireplace Lexie had ever seen. She could have walked into it on stilts and not have worried about bumping her head. Not that she’d want to... considering what was already in there.
Luna gave a deep-throated purr. “I’m guessing this is no longer a case of petty theft.”
“Really? What gave it away?”
Chapter Four
“The cooks came in earlier than expected to set up for the day,” Penelope Stewart explained, “And they found this... It’s a disaster. Who could possibly have done such a horrible, evil deed?” She shook her head and pressed a lace handkerchief to her mouth.
“Have the authorities been informed?” Lexie asked.
Eloisa Hamilton, Lauriston’s headmistress, clutched her throat. “The scandal. We couldn’t possibly... Mirabelle Mackenzie promised us you would handle everything with the utmost discretion.”
“Yeah, but that was before this happened,” Lexie gestured to the feet poking out of the massive fireplace. “The... victim will need to be identified.”
Eloisa Hamilton looked horrified. “Do you have any idea what this will do to us?”