My eyes hurt from crying all night.
I had a weak moment after Jaxon left me last night. My body was hot from lust and rage, and I figured release was all I needed. He was in my mind every second I touched myself. I came with his name leaving my mouth like it always did, and I didn’t want to be strong anymore. I realized I missed him.
I wanted to give in to the heartbreak. I never let myself truly fall apart, and last night, everything slammed into me. The reality of the situation, my harbored feelings for Jaxon, my worry for Brian, and the information Jaxon gave me about Brian using me.
No one had to know about my breakdown, and Jaxon didn’t need to know he turned me on last night. This was a fucked-up situation. I didn’t even have someone to call to let them know I was okay. I was the only one left of the Taylor’s. My parents died a few years ago, leaving me more money than I knew what to do with to add to the amount my grandparents left.
And I only had a few friends at work, but we weren’t close or anything. Everyone thought I was on my monthlong honeymoon exploring the world.
I was exploring something alright and it was how to get the hell out of here, but if what Jaxon said was true, and Brian was using me for my money, I had nowhere to go. Like I’d want to go back to the apartment we shared only to look at it all and see it was a lie.
I wanted to wallow in pity and self-misery today. I was allowed that much. I covered my head with a blanket when a knock at the door sounded, hoping if I didn’t answer, whoever was there would leave.
A key sliding into place clicked, and the door swung open, tapping against the wall. I was going to lay like the dead. Maybe if they thought I was asleep, they would go away.
“I know you’re awake. You’re breathing isn’t steady like someone asleep.”
A voice I hadn’t heard before peaked my curiosity. He sounded young, not so threatening, which was a relief because I didn’t have it in me to be angry all day. I was drained. I sat up, and the sheet fell from my chest. Cold air wrapped around my nipples, and I gasped, snapping my head to look at the stranger when I heard him intake a sharp breath.
Another set of shoes pounded inside the room, and when I looked up, it was Jaxon. And the air dropped to a frigid temperature when he marched toward the man with blonde hair and blue eyes, who was still staring my breasts.
I gathered the sheets and tugged them to my chin, completely forgetting I was naked. I never slept naked, but I was so tired last night that I just crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.
“You have five seconds to get the fuck out of this room, Heaven. Before I change my mind and decide to kill you for seeing what she looks like.”
I gulped. I wasn’t sure why Jaxon cared, but he was pissed. He shoved Heaven toward the bedroom door, and Heaven gave me a wink, which made me blush.
“Boss, she’s hot. You did—” he didn’t have time to finish his sentence before Jaxon’s fist connected to his face. Heaven staggered and leaned against the wall, touching his lip carefully, and when he pulled his fingers away, he saw it was bleeding.
“Get. Out.” Jaxon punctuated each word as he spoke, trying to gain his composure. It wasn’t working. I could see him shaking from where I sat on the bed.
Heaven held up his hands and backed away toward the door, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth when the blood pooled again. He glanced at me again, and Jaxon stepped into his view. “Don’t even look at her,” Jaxon said, the warning drenched me like ice cold water, and it wasn’t even directed at me.
Heaven seemed to be used to Jaxon’s moods and took his threats in stride, practically bouncing out of the room and shutting the door behind him. Leaving me in the room with an angry beast that wanted to snarl and tear something apart with his bare hands.
I just hoped it wasn’t me.
I swallowed and laid my cheek against my knee, staring at another cart of food, probably filled with my favorites. Jaxon was silent, just standing there with his back turned toward me, but I could tell how furious he was. His body practically vibrated with fury. He wanted to unleash it, but he held it back, and that was what made me cower against the headboard.
Was it this the anger that killed his sister?
Was this the anger that would be the death of me?
It was like he could sense that I was scared. He turned his head, and the sharp line of his jaw stretched along the curve of his shoulder, and his cheekbones were carved out of stone, the light hitting the sharp points just right to make them appear hard as stone.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me. I’m the last person that would hurt you.”
You’ve already hurt me, I thought. The sentence came with the memory of his getting arrested, and his Miranda Rights read to him.
“You need to be more careful. The guys haven’t seen a woman like you in a long time,” he said, finally turning around so I could see him.
Oh, yeah, like that was supposed to make me feel better.
“I’d just be a means to an end for them,” I said off-handedly.
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Are you going to tell me what you meant?”
He stared at the ceiling for a minute before ungluing himself from the spot he was in. The closer he got, the more the warm feeling returned, throbbing my clit. His hair wasn’t slicked back today, so he looked rough around the edges. His shirt was black, short-sleeve, and stretched across his chest. The shirt brought my attention to his tattoos running up from his fingertips to his neck. He was covered. Was his back? His ass? Where else did he have tattoos?
I was more interested than I wanted to be, but when a man looked like Jaxon Steel, hate wasn’t even enough to make me look away.
I was angry, not dead.
“So you aren’t going to tell me what you meant?” I asked again.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his cologne infiltrating my senses, and my mind fogged. Nothing was better than a man that smelt good. Brian never wore cologne.
His hand landed on my knee, and even through the sheet, his touch was too much for me to handle right now. I jerked away from him, leaving his hand mid-air. He arched a perfect, black brow at me and then set his hands on his lap.
“No,” he finally said, standing up by pressing his palms to his thighs. He walked over to the modern oak dresser and opened the drawer, throwing me another shirt. “You can wear the joggers from yesterday. It’s all we have for you. Get dressed. Eat. We will go shopping for clothes.”
“You. Go shopping?” I snorted and swung my legs over the bed, wrapping the sheet around my body. “I’ve heard it all now.”
“You’re going to be here a long time, Quinn. You better get used to surprises.”
“You’re funny if you think I’m staying here for ten years, Jaxon.” I stood up and walked over to the silver tray of food, and right as I took off the lid of a plate, Jaxon’s arms were around me, but not in an embrace.
He wanted to be in control.
Jaxon twisted my hair around his wrist and turned my head to the side to expose the column of my neck. “You will stay if you want your precious Brian to stay alive. Each day you make me wait for an answer, I’ll take one of his toes.”
“You wouldn’t,” I gasped, but not from his words like I should have, but like a crazy person, I felt the long length of his erection pressing against my ass. All there was between us were his jeans and these sheets wrapped around me.
“I would, and I’d like it.” His beard rubs against my cheek until the skin became raw. “I’d like nothing more than to see him suffer for what he planned on doing to you, what he did to me,” he recited again as if he thought the more he said Brian was a liar, I’d believe him.
I had no idea what to believe.
I wanted to believe Jaxon, my heart screamed at me to listen, but the part of me that has lived the last ten years thinking Jaxon killed Tracy, that side of me wasn’t letting go as easily as Jaxon wanted. Change was an evil mistress, and in this situation, she
was dangerous and trying her best to shift my emotions.
“Maybe you need to hear for yourself,” he said, keeping me trapped against his chest. “I won’t allow you to talk to him, but you can see him.”
“When?” I asked quickly, wanting to call his bluff.
“Now, get dressed, and I’ll take you down to him, and then we will go get you more clothes.”
“How do I know it isn’t a ploy to take me to a deep dark dungeon?” I spun around in his arms, wanting to be daring, but it was the wrong move to make. His mouth was too close to mine now, and his scent took over every single one of my senses. My nipples scraped against his chest, and I knew he felt them by how his pupils dilated into two fine points as he stared at me.
Jaxon couldn’t be the future for me. He was the past, a memory, a murderer, and a complete asshole. I couldn’t want him.
Liar.
I’ve always wanted him, and as I stared into his eyes, our bodies pressed together, something deep down told me he wasn’t the monster I’ve made him to be. How did I get over that? He kept preaching about the truth, and if he was right, then I made the biggest mistake of my life believing Brian when I could have fought for Jaxon.
If Jaxon was right, then why would he want anything to do with me now?
I wasn’t ready for the truth, and I wasn’t ready to see Brian. I needed to come to terms with the fact that the last ten years of my life was a lie. I tried to pull away from Jaxon, but he kept a tight hold around my hips. He was so much bigger than me, and fighting him with my body was pointless, but I could fight him with my mind.
“Let me go.”
“Like you let me go?”
The words had me looking away from his handsome face toward the bed. “Do you blame me?”
Without hesitation he said, “Yes.”
My breath left my lungs in a powerful gust as he stepped away from me, leaving me colder and feeling smaller than before he wrapped his arms around me.
“I do blame you,” he said. “You believed a man you didn’t know over the man you claimed to love. I blame you for not having more faith in me.” He slammed his fist over his chest, pressing his lips together until the area around his mouth turned white. “I understood your fear, but did you ever stop to think about mine? I was going out of my mind, Quinn!” he roared, punching his chest again and a hard thud sounded. “I had just lost my sister, my best fucking friend, and then you turned your back on me.”
“The evidence—”
“—Fuck the evidence!” The veins in his neck stood proud, standing with rage on the sides of his neck. “Fuck the goddamn evidence and think of me. Think of me for once second of your selfish, privileged life. You were so eager to throw me away, and yet you can’t muster up the courage to learn the truth.”
Tears brimmed my eyes, but I refused to let them fall for Jaxon. He’s never spoke so harshly to me. “The truth. We both know there are three sides to every story. I did love you—”
He closed the space he had put between us just seconds ago and tightened his hand around the upper part of my neck, and his thumb dug into the bottom of my chin. “You still love me.”
“I stopped loving you years ago,” I lied. I never stopped loving him, but I didn’t want him to know that so easily. I hated that he could read me still as if I were an open book spread before him.
He cocked his head, and his lips were just a breath away from mine. “Liar,” he said, the insult gliding across my lips as he spoke. “You might not want to love me, but you do.”
“Prove it,” I challenged, keeping my head held high as he stared those black daggers into mine.
“I’m trying, but you’re fighting me every step of the way. I’ll win in the end, Quinn. The sooner you realize that the better off we will be.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Then we are going to have a long ten years together.”
“You’d rather have me miserable than truly happy?” I asked, searching his face for any sort of compassion or empathy.
“You’d be lying to yourself if you thought for one minute, you’d ever be miserable with me.” He grazed his finger down my cheek, and I wanted to lean into his touch, but I kept frozen in place.
“You’re a dreamer, Jaxon. I’ve lived the last ten years without you, what makes you think I can‘t do it again?”
“Because once you know the truth, you’ll never want to spend another minute without me. Face it, Quinn. No one will love you like I do, want you like I do, and—” he pinched my hard nipple through the sheet, and I moaned. Damn him. He knew I loved nipple play, “no one will ever fuck you like I can; like I will.”
“Arrogant bastard.”
“When it comes to you, arrogance is essential. It’s the only way to handle a woman like you.” He took a step away from me again, and another piece of my soul went with him. “You’ll see, Quinn.”
“Fuck you.” I’d said that more in the past three days than I ever had in my entire life.
When he gets to the door, he doesn’t turn around. The wide expanse of his back, which was no hardship at all, but his face, while chiseled from evil, was the most sinning thing to look at in this room.
Sin was for the wicked, and Jaxon fit the bill perfectly.
“Just tell me when and where and I’ll fuck you like you haven’t been fucked in ten years.”
I grabbed the white coffee mug from the tray and threw it at him, but I was too late. He had already left, and the mug shattered against the door, sending pieces that could never be put back together to the ground.
Symbolic since my heart felt the same way right about now.
Chapter Ten
Jaxon
“You need to woo her,” Ingrid said, leaning against the wall as she filed her nails.
“Eavesdropping can get you killed.” I walked down the hall, bypassing her completely.
“I couldn’t hear anything you were saying; I’m just assuming your talk didn’t go well since you’re scowling.”
“I do not scowl,” I said and then relaxed my face when I realized I was scowling. “Why did I bring you here again? Don’t you have a bingo hall to go to or something?” The hallway finally broke off into the massive kitchen and the common living area. The space was open with black floors, white cabinets, and countertops, and a gunmetal grey leather sectional sofa that could seat up to fifteen people. Since we all lived together, it was important that we had space.
“You are paying for me to go to bingo?” She lifted a silver eyebrow at me and held out her hand, then settled in the bar stool that sat near the kitchen island. “I’ll gladly go on your dime.”
“Why doesn’t our way of life bother you?” Grayson asked, taking the chair next to her.
I pulled out a beer from the refrigerator and twisted off the top. The glass was cold against my palm, but the beer was even colder as it flowed down my throat. I could feel it sinking into the pit of my stomach.
“Has your guy not pulled up anything on me yet? I thought you guys were the ‘best of the best?’”
“I’ve had other things on my plate than to do a check on an old lady.” Sebastian begrudgingly said from the couch as he flipped through the channels.
She lifted a shoulder, uncaring as she shaped her nails and held them out, humming with satisfaction. “You won’t find much anyway. I was arrest in 1980, that was about it.”
“—No way, for what?” Heaven tried to leap over the couch, but his foot caught along the back of the couch, and he fell face-first onto the floor, adding to the bruise on the side of his jaw I put there earlier. It still pissed me off that he saw Quinn’s tits. They were mine and mine alone to look at.
“Tell us,” Owen said. “Let me guess, prostitution?”
“I was never a hooker. Don’t ever insult me like that again. I am and have always been a woman of class,” she harrumphed and started filing the nails on her other hand. “That was rude. You don’t ever speak to a lady like that.”
&nbs
p; “Lady, you are no lady, that much I believe,” Owen smirked, and she slapped the back of his head with her hand.
Then she smirked and leaned in, a playful smile on her face. “I know, right,” she giggled.
I glanced at my watch and saw ten minutes had passed by since seeing Quinn. We needed to leave soon to get her clothes. I wouldn’t have time to go next week between jobs and Brian. Once his shoulder healed, I was going to fuck that guy up all over again. Continued torture, it had been proven to work. I didn’t care if it took the entire ten years for him to confess. I’d get my life back. I’d get what was taken from me.
“No fucking way,” Owen gaped at Ingrid.
Shit. I had missed the big secret. Not much made Owen surprised, so whatever the details were, they were good. Ingrid had a bit of pink to her cheeks, and all the guys stared at her in a new light, with awe and respect. I never brought home strays. I clearly wasn’t thinking when I decided to let Ingrid invade our space. It went to show just how much Quinn had me off guard. If it had been anyone else getting married, just another job, Ingrid would never be here.
“What was that? Sorry, I missed it,” I said, huffing when another five minutes had gone by. Quinn was just being stubborn now. She probably thought she could live off joggers and big t-shirts for the rest of her life, but I had plans for her. She needed nice clothes, gowns, and purses. If she was going to be here, she would be an asset. She’d want to be that I had no doubt. Quinn only needed to hear truth, and I knew she would fall right into my arms again.
Well, I hoped.
Sebastian shook his head, but not with amusement, with disappointment. I wasn’t focused. How would I perform when we were doing a job? If I wasn’t focused, someone could die, I could die.
“She was married to a serial killer. Henry the Headless,” Heaven said, as if starry-eyed. He sighed whimsically and laid his chin in his hand. “What was he like?”
“Brutal,” she shivered.
“Henry the Headless?” I heard about him in prison. Guys loved to emphasize the story more than it needed to be, but one fact always remained true. He always took his victims' heads off and kept them. It was disturbing.
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