by Maya Blake
‘Yes.’ She wanted that too. Everything. And more.
Maybe it was foolish to ask. But she... Dear God, she was in love with him. She couldn’t not be.
She opened her eyes, though she couldn’t remember shutting them, to find his ferocious gaze fixed on her, ten times more intensely than he’d ever looked at her before. She couldn’t have looked away if she’d wanted to. So she didn’t.
She lost herself in his power and in their pleasure until the bough broke again. More spectacular. Vastly superior in sensation. Her scream this time was of pure ecstasy, and the fingers digging into his back pleaded for it never to cease.
He kept moving within her, kept up the sizzling tempo until he gave a long, guttural groan. His magnificent body grew taut, and then convulsions rippled through him.
For the longest stretch of time, the only sound in the suite was their snatched breaths and racing hearts. When they calmed, he withdrew from her body. Maddie barely managed to curb a whimper, and watched in silence as he left the bed and entered the adjoining bathroom.
Boneless, she collapsed on the bed, her every sense still struck by the awe of what had just happened. Was it like this every time? How soon could it happen again?
She was still drifting on a sea of sated bliss when Remi returned and scooped her up.
‘What...where are you taking me?’
The sound of a bath running and the scent of bath oil drifted through her senses, answered her question.
‘A bath will do you good,’ he said, before lowering her into warm, jasmine-scented water.
Maddie couldn’t stop the blush that suffused her face as the water closed around her. Expecting him to leave her to it, she started in surprise when he nudged her gently forward and slid in behind her. She would have thought what they’d done in the bedroom was intimate enough, but having him share her bath introduced a whole new level of intimacy that wrapped itself around her heart—much as she wanted him to wrap his arms around her.
When he did just that, a moment later, all the barriers she’d attempted to erect around her heart crumbled. She wanted this. Wanted him. For ever.
The weight of that need terrified her—so much so that she stiffened.
The arms around her tightened. ‘Is something wrong? Are you sore?’
She pulled her knees up to her chest, shook her head as another blush flared into her cheeks. ‘I’m fine,’ she blurted.
‘You’re not,’ he countermanded smoothly as he nudged her head against his shoulder. ‘It’s okay to be overwhelmed.’
Maddie wanted to laugh, but feared it might morph into a sob. She wasn’t fine. Far from it. She was hopelessly in love with a man who would never belong to her. Perhaps even now she was on a countdown to when he’d walk away from her.
The heart that had soared minutes ago in her new marriage bed dipped alarmingly, grey despair filling the empty spaces. Terrified of giving herself away, Maddie kept her head tucked into his shoulder, not protesting when he picked up a washcloth and began gliding it over her skin.
For one absurd moment she wanted to ask whether he’d done the same for Celeste. Thankfully that curiosity passed unuttered, but it did nothing to dissipate the knot of tension in her belly as she withstood his ministrations.
Perhaps it was the warmth of the water, his powerful but gentle hands, or the acceptance that she had truly passed the point of no return, but Maddie slowly began to relax as other sensations pushed themselves to the forefront of her consciousness.
She became acutely aware of Remi’s solid body enfolding hers, the back-and-forth motions of the washcloth over her breasts and belly, the slight hitch in his breathing. She didn’t know what prompted her to lift her head, glance up into his face. Once she did, she couldn’t look away.
They stared at each other for an interminable minute before his gaze raked over her face to rest on her lips. Unable to stop herself, she lifted her hand to his taut cheek, wild need urging her to explore further. She smoothed her thumb over his lips, his faintly stubbled chin, the bridge of his patrician nose, the sleek wings of his eyebrows. He was perfection, and she wanted to weep with the heartrending knowledge that he would never be hers.
But he’s here now. He’s yours for now.
She felt his manhood stir against her hip and gasped at the renewed thrill in her veins. Seeing the fierce hunger in his eyes, she drew her hand down his neck, over his superbly honed chest and hard six-pack. There she hesitated, her face flaming all over again at the thought of touching him so intimately.
‘Touch me, dea,’ he encouraged thickly.
Goddess. That was what he’d said the word meant.
Her insides melted. It was dangerous to be this affected by the endearment, but it was already too late. The word flowed into her heart, joined all the other pieces of gentleness and desire and attention she’d received from him.
Like a miser tucking away precious gems, Maddie gathered every scrap and stored them in her heart. She would need them one day, maybe one day far too soon, when he turned away from her.
She slid her hand over his hot skin, beneath the water to his groin, her breath dissolving in her lungs as she grasped his thick girth.
His hiss of arousal made her flinch, but the look in his eyes encouraged her to continue on her path. Emboldened, she grasped him more firmly, explored his glorious length until he hissed again.
‘Enough, dea,’ he ground out.
She wasn’t ready for this sensational moment to be over just yet. ‘Please...’ she whispered, even though she expected him to stop her.
His answer was to spike his fingers in her hair and angle her face up before plundering her lips with his. Time ceased to matter as he kissed her with a fierce thoroughness that left them both breathing hard when he abruptly ended the kiss and repositioned her over his lap.
Maddie clung tightly to his shoulders as his steely length nudged her core. Just as before, the first probe was gentle, insistent—and breathtaking. His gaze stayed on her face, absorbing her every reaction as he slowly penetrated her once more, strong hands gripping her hips for his possession.
Maddie gasped as all the sensations from before came screaming back. And with no prospect of pain this time, the pleasure was tenfold.
Tears rose in her eyes as bliss suffused her. When he rocked her into movement, when she understood the advantage of her position, she began to move over him.
He grunted—a thick, masculine sound that filled her with feminine power. That power might be fleeting and feeble at best, but it still lent her enough impetus to take him deeper, to glide her fingers into his hair and notch his head up for the addictive kiss only he could provide.
Remi gave her what she wanted and more, one hand rising to cup her breast and torment its peak as he kissed and possessed her. Within minutes they were careening towards that unstoppable summit, scented water splashing around them as he introduced her to a whole new level of pleasure. Guttural Montegovan words fell from his lips as he edged her higher, and she opened her heart, letting his words spill into those greedy spaces.
Nirvana arrived in a thrilling rush that went on for ever. Beneath her, Remi gave a rough shout in the steamy space as he charged through his own climax.
She welcomed the strong arms that bound her and held her close, and as their heartbeats slowed she dared to hope that perhaps they had something to build on after all. Perhaps if they had this, in time they would have something more. Because surely he couldn’t be this affected, this intimate with her, without considering handing over even a small piece of himself?
She would find a way to make him happy in any way she could. In the hope that one day he might truly see her, even love her.
That bleak little voice mocked her again, called her ten kinds of fool for attempting to compete with a ghost.
But surely there was a way for her to s
how Remi that, while she would never replace the woman he’d lost, she could be something meaningful to him eventually?
She was so absorbed with her frantic plans to make her new husband love her that she didn’t realise he’d stiffened beneath her until a curse she didn’t understand but knew for its harsh iciness ripped through the room.
She froze. ‘Remi...?’
He rose from the water with her in his arms as if she weighed nothing. His face was turned away from her but she didn’t need to look into his eyes to tell that something was terribly wrong. The clenched jaw, the tension bracketing his mouth and the thunderous, forbidding frown evidenced that something was definitely amiss.
It took all of three seconds for her to clue into what was wrong. ‘Oh...God...’
‘Si,’ he hissed icily.
Stepping out of the bath, he disengaged from her and placed her back in the water. Unable to stomach the horror on his face, she hugged her knees.
They hadn’t used protection. They’d been so caught up in the moment that crucial part of it had gone out of their minds. At least that was her suspicion.
A furtive glance showed his deepening horror. ‘Remi...’
‘No,’ he breathed, spiking his fingers through his hair.
‘What does no mean, exactly?’ she asked.
He responded with a string of Montegovan words that meant nothing to her.
‘Translate. Please.’
He strode across the room, snatched up a towel, wrapped it around his hips. Still with his back to her, he sucked in a tortured breath. ‘How could I?’
‘How could you what?’ she asked tremulously.
He swivelled to face her. ‘Be so damned careless.’
Her head dipped a fraction, her heart hammering at his bleak tone. ‘We both were, Remi.’
His hand slashed the air. ‘I don’t mean you. I was careless with her. I promised myself I would never be careless again. And now I have done it again. With you.’
She flinched. ‘You mean Celeste?’ He was bringing his dead fiancée into this? She wasn’t sure whether to be furious or desolate. She chose the former. ‘It’s our wedding night, Remi. It might not mean anything to you, but it means something to me. How can you bring her into this moment?’
‘What?’ His brows clamped together as if she was speaking an alien tongue.
Perhaps she was. Bitter laughter ripped from her throat. ‘What was I thinking?’ she murmured to herself. ‘This is how our marriage is going to be, isn’t it?’
His frown deepened. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Don’t pretend you don’t know. How can you not know when she informs your every decision? How can you not know when you never stop thinking about her?’
Fierce eyes narrowed. ‘Maddie—’
‘No,’ she interrupted, equally fiercely. With a strength she hadn’t known she possessed, she rose out of the bath, her gaze fixed on his as she stepped out. ‘How do you think it makes me feel when the first thing you think about when you’re faced with a crisis is her?’
His head went back as if she’d struck him. For a moment she wished she had, if only to knock a little bit of sense into him.
‘Calm down—’
‘Why should I? You just dismissed me out of hand. Even though this is happening to both of us, you didn’t even think about me.’
His expression grew even more arctic. ‘If I hurt your feelings—’
‘If? Look at me, Remi. Do you actually see me standing here in front of you?’ she asked, in a voice that reflected the anguish tearing through her.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. ‘Of course I do. Don’t be absurd.’
‘I’m being absurd, am I? Perhaps next you’re going to call me melodramatic for having feelings? For wanting a say in my own marriage?’
‘Protecting you is my prerogative,’ he replied tersely. ‘My priority.’
Just like it was with Celeste. He didn’t need to say the words.
She battled to keep the anguish from ripping her asunder. ‘Can we talk about this like two rational human beings? Please?’ she tacked on at the absolutely implacable look on his face.
He stared at her for a charged moment and then nodded brusquely.
About to speak, Maddie realised she was still stark naked. He realised it too, his gaze heatedly raking her body before, veering away sharply, he snagged a robe and held it out to her.
She started to reach for it.
The wave of dizziness came out of nowhere, snatching the strength from her knees and the air from her lungs.
With a shocked, guttural curse, Remi lunged for her, locking her into his arms as her body crumpled.
‘Dio mio,’ he cursed thickly. ‘Are you okay?’
The dizziness dissipated as quickly as it had arrived, leaving her senses clear. ‘Let me go. I’m fine.’
‘No, you are not.’ Robe discarded, he swept her up and strode back into the bedroom, placing her on the bed before stepping back. ‘We will talk after you’ve had something to eat and rested.’
‘No, I want to talk now.’
He seared her with a blistering, imperious gaze that reminded her that in everything but the coronation ceremony he was the King.
‘Some things you have a say in, Maddie. The subject of your health and well-being, especially when you’re neglecting them, isn’t one of them. You barely ate anything all day long, and indulged in new experiences on top of that. If you wish for a rational discussion then you’ll do as you’re told.’
She tugged the sheets up to cover herself even as she raised her chin in defiance. ‘Are you calling me irrational?’
His face closed up even more and he expelled a harsh breath. ‘I’m recommending we talk when emotions are less heightened.’
With that he strode into his dressing room. He emerged five minutes later, dressed in the most casual attire she’d seen him in so far. Unbelievably, the dark cargo pants and polo shirt merely enhanced his attractiveness.
Thinking he was leaving, she caught her breath when he approached the bed. He stopped by the bedside table, snatched up the phone and calmly issued instructions before replacing the handset.
‘A meal is being brought up to you,’ he stated.
‘Are you leaving?’ she asked, and immediately wished back the needy words.
His gaze met hers for a moment before he turned away. ‘It’s better if I remove myself from here for now,’ he rasped.
‘Because you can’t stand to be around me?’
He froze, then whirled towards her. ‘Because our history of clashing tells me that we won’t make it through a meal together without you voicing what’s on your mind. Am I wrong?’
He wasn’t. She wanted to discuss this now, get it out of the way, while he was intent on staging a diplomatic retreat. ‘Even if you’re not, I can’t exactly stop you, can I?’
His nostrils flared. ‘No, you can’t. Rest, Maddie. I’ll see you in a few hours.’
It’s our wedding night, she wanted to scream. She swallowed the words. He didn’t need to be reminded. That bleak look on his face told her he hadn’t forgotten.
She watched him stride purposefully for the door, watched it shut with a decisive click behind him. Immediately Maddie felt as if a light switch had been thrown, plunging her world into darkness.
She’d made love to her husband on her wedding night without protection. And the first thing he had thought to mention was his dead fiancée. How clearer could it be that this marriage was doomed?
With shaking limbs, she sank back against the pillows, fighting for the breath that she couldn’t catch properly in her lungs. She should never have agreed to marry him. She should never have agreed to this devil’s bargain.
But then where would her father be?
Tears rose in her eyes as anvil we
ights of impossible choices pressed down on her.
She was still mired in despair when a soft knock sounded fifteen minutes later. The middle-aged woman who’d introduced herself as head housekeeper, when the staff had met them earlier, directed a younger maid, who pushed a silver trolley towards the bed.
Together they prepared a tray of food and a glass of pure Montegovan spring water and set it in Maddie’s lap. Belatedly, she wished she’d thrown on the robe when she caught their subtle stares. She mentally shrugged. At least the palace gossip wouldn’t include speculation on whether her marriage had been consummated or not. She even managed a blush when the housekeeper picked up her discarded gown and carefully laid it on the sofa.
She picked at the fruit, flat bread and cold meats, drank the juice and sipped at the water. She suspected Remi had instructed the housekeeper to ensure she ate, because the older woman found an excuse to linger until Maddie had finished most of her plate before, smiling and curtsying, she departed.
Left alone with her thoughts, she was aware that a single one had emerged from the churning quagmire. The consequences of their actions went beyond Celeste and a marriage that seemed doomed even before it had begun.
If fate chose a different path for her, she would emerge from her wedding night carrying the future heir to the Montegovan throne. And one thing was very clear. Her new husband couldn’t have been less thrilled about that prospect if he’d tried.
* * *
Remi paced his study, a single lit lamp the only illumination in the darkness. He embraced the gloom, let it amplify the sheer magnitude of what he’d let happen. He deserved this.
His carelessness was breathtaking. How could he have let himself be so blinded by lust that he’d forgotten himself at the very first opportunity?
Sure, he hadn’t planned on making love to her again that second time, but how was that an excuse when it had never happened before?
The truth was that he had lost himself.
Her beauty, her responsiveness, that tentative but determined exploration of her newly found sexuality...they’d all been a potent combination that had turned him on more than he would’ve believed possible before tonight.