by Maya Blake
His hands rose as if to touch her. She jerked away. ‘What are you doing?’
His face closed but determination blazed from his eyes. ‘We need to talk, discuss—’
‘Nothing that can’t wait till morning,’ she interjected bleakly, shifting her gaze away from the vibrant skin beneath his collarbone, from the towering vitality of this man who would never be hers.
She turned away. The result of fake smiling all evening while dealing with Margot and his coolly detached attitude had triggered a dull headache. She tossed her wrap and clutch on the sofa and massaged her temples with tired fingers.
‘What’s wrong?’ he demanded sharply.
Maddie started, unaware he’d followed her. For a tense moment she stared at him, her brain frozen at his closeness.
‘I have a headache. I also have to wake up early to talk to my father. I’d rather not do so with a headache...’
It was the first conversation she’d have with her father since she’d left England and he’d gone to Switzerland. She didn’t want to miss it. Right now he felt like her only tether to the real world.
Her words trailed off as he strode past her and headed for her bathroom. Curious despite her breaking heart, she stayed put.
He returned with a pill bottle, shook out two tablets. ‘Take these,’ he instructed gruffly, handing her a glass of water.
‘I’m fine—’
‘Take them, Maddie. It’s a low dose. It won’t affect you or the—’ He stopped, clenched his jaw.
Her heart lurched painfully. ‘The baby, Remi. Not saying the word won’t make it any less real.’
He inhaled sharply. ‘You think I want to pretend it doesn’t exist?’
The question was a stunned, ragged demand. One that drew a cloak of shame over her for even daring to voice the thought.
Unable to answer, or to stem the flare of hope inside her, she took the pills, her stomach pitching as her fingers brushed his warm palm.
He waited until she’d swallowed them before he returned to the living room. Then he turned on her. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?’
‘It’s just a headache, Remi.’
‘Headaches can be an indicator of other things,’ he stressed, his tone deep and gravel-rough as his gaze dropped to her now healed arm.
She stared at him, her heart wrenching for him despite her own agony. ‘I’m not being blithe or dismissive, Remi. It’s just a tension headache. A good night’s sleep will take care of it.’
He didn’t reply, and the intense look in his eyes told her he wanted to argue. Eventually he gave a terse nod, then strode to her bed and pulled back the cover. For a long moment he stared at the sheets, seemingly lost in thought. Then he muttered a thick, ‘Goodnight,’ and walked into his own suite.
An hour later her headache was gone, but her desolation had grown exponentially when she started at the sound of their adjoining door opening.
Remi stood framed in the doorway, still dressed but minus his dinner jacket. His hair was in disarray, as if he’d spent the last hour running his fingers through it, and his eyes were dark pools of intensity.
Her heart leapt into her throat, as she blinked back the tears in her eyes. ‘Remi—?’
‘I won’t leave this,’ he said tersely. ‘Not another night. Fate hasn’t been good to me when I’ve let things be, Madeleine. You tell me I’m to be a father. Whatever that entails we tackle this. Tonight.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SHE REMAINED FROZEN, struck dumb, as he strode determinedly to her bedside. Fervently he searched her features. His fingers flexed at his sides but he didn’t reach for her.
‘How do you feel?’
Her fingers tightened on the luxurious bedspread as she fought to keep her crazy pulse from leaping out of control at his breath-stealing masculine beauty. He was barred to her, she reminded herself. Completely and conclusively. Somewhere in the last hour she’d accepted that her time with Remi was limited. This was her last chance to hoard memories of him.
She licked nervous lips and forced herself to meet his gaze. ‘I’m fine. The headache is gone.’
Those all-seeing eyes lingered, dropped to her mouth, and just like that the atmosphere thickened. But this time it was overlaid with an intensity unlike anything she’d ever known.
‘Fate hasn’t been good to me...’
‘Whatever that entails, we tackle this...’
‘What...what exactly do you want to tackle?’
He didn’t speak immediately, simply continued to watch her with a spine-jarring ferocity that stole her breath.
Time ticked by. The merest frown creased his eyebrow before his face slowly went slack. It was the kind of expression triggered by dawning realisation. Or emotionless calculation.
Self-preservation screamed at Maddie to turn away, to hide from that look in his eyes. But she couldn’t move.
Whatever the future held, it was time for her to face it.
* * *
Remi stared down at his wife, the staggering realisation of the last hour slaying him anew.
The last three weeks without her had been hell, with each day worse than the last, because she was the missing part of him he’d never even known he’d lost. He’d planned to tell her that tomorrow. To lay it all on the line when things weren’t so volatile between them. But he hadn’t even been able to undress, never mind find any semblance of respite.
The staggering notion that time was slipping through his fingers had been overwhelming. And, really, hadn’t he wasted enough time? Hadn’t he known from that moment she got into his car that Madeleine Myers possessed the ability to shift his world off its axis in the most profound, life-changing way?
How could he have slept, knowing that tomorrow might be too late? That he might lose the woman who held his heart, held his child within her womb?
He shifted his gaze over her face again, fighting the trepidation in his chest, scrambling for words adequate enough to combat that look in her eyes he knew didn’t bode well for him. For weeks he’d pushed her away. What if...?
‘Madeleine...’
‘What is it, Remi? What did you come to say to me?’
He took a long, ragged breath. ‘That I’m a husband who has neglected his wife for far too long. I won’t be making that mistake again.’
Her breath shook but she held his gaze. ‘If this is about confirming my pregnancy, you can go ahead and call the doctor. Neither of us is going to get any sleep anyway. It’s best we find out now. But you should know that after that things will change, Remi.’
His heart dropped into his stomach, ice and heat engulfing him simultaneously. He wanted to prolong the eventuality. Wanted to speak the words tripping on his tongue. But for the first time in his life the right words wouldn’t form. So he picked up the phone and summoned his physician.
He arrived within half an hour. Endless minutes during which his words still remained locked in his throat, his fate hanging on a knife-edge.
‘Royal protocol dictates that the test result be as accurate as possible. A blood test is the most definitive,’ Remi heard the physician tell her.
‘Right. Of course. And how long before...?’
Remi’s vocal cords finally unfroze. ‘A matter of hours, I believe?’ he replied, his heart racing frantically.
Maddie’s breath caught, her gaze finding his. ‘Are you...are you going to stay?’
Remi nodded, walked to her side on legs that felt unsteady. ‘If it pleases you, I’d very much like us to find out together.’
* * *
Maddie willed her heart to stop racing but that look she’d caught in his eyes a moment ago, that flash of deep yearning, continued to replay in her mind. Of course now he stood by her side the look was gone, his expression stoic as the doctor went to work.
The moment he
was done Maddie rose from the bed. It was one thing to experience the distance between them from afar; it was another having him right next to her and still feeling as if nothing could breach the wasteland.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
She gave a bitter laugh. ‘Do you care?’
‘Of course I care.’
He was moving even closer. She knew it because his scent—the unique ice and earth scent she’d missed so much that it was a constant ache inside her—was wrapping itself around her, seeping into her ravenous senses.
Throat-grating laughter spilled again. ‘You came to my room over an hour ago and you’re yet to say what you came to say. I’m guessing that whatever it is isn’t important to you any more.’
She felt him stop behind her. Beneath her nightslip and the dressing gown she’d thrown on her body strained for his with a shocking hunger.
‘It’s important, Maddie. Probably the most important thing I’ll ever say.’
She whirled to face him, anger and despair and wild, unstoppable craving ripping her apart. ‘Really? Then what’s stopping you? Are you afraid you’ll hurt me more than you already have? Whatever it is, say it and be done with it. Or would you prefer me to bow and scrape and pretend civility? Will that help you keep that control you so sorely lack around me? Or have you mastered that already in the weeks you’ve refused to touch me?’
His face started to tighten but he shook his head. ‘I’m beginning to think that was a mistake.’
‘Well, bully for you,’ she lashed out.
‘Maddie...’
His voice was as shaken as the gaze that dropped to her flat belly. His throat worked but he couldn’t seem to form more words. He whirled away from her, then reversed direction. Shaky hands cupped her jaw.
Maddie’s heart cracked open, but she swallowed the pain. She needed to do this, get through this. ‘Something’s going to change,’ she said.
He tensed. ‘What?’
‘My father’s out of isolation. After I talk to him in the morning I plan to go and see him as soon as I can. And...and then I’m going home—back to London.’
Anguish darkened his eyes and he grew another shade paler. ‘No,’ he rasped. ‘You can’t go. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.’
The peculiar note in his voice snagged something hard in her chest. ‘You can’t keep me, Remi. Not like this. We won’t survive as long as Celeste—’
‘I haven’t thought about Celeste since the first time I kissed you,’ he interjected thickly.
She gasped. ‘What?’
Firm hands grasped her shoulders as his eyes blazed with a new, terrifyingly intense light. ‘You seem to think she dictates my every move. I accept that losing her the way I did affected me...badly...but from the moment you got into my car the only time I’ve thought about her is when I attempted to use her memory to stop myself from feeling what I feel for you.’
A deep tremble surged from the soles of her feet. ‘And what do you feel for me?’
The hands that rose from her shoulders to cup her cheeks weren’t quite steady. ‘More than I wanted to at first. More than I could deal with. And I admit it terrified me how much I craved you,’ he growled.
‘You closed yourself off from me easily enough.’
His low laugh was gruff and self-deprecating. ‘You think it was easy? Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Staying away was even harder. Why do you think I came back every other day?’
‘Because you wanted to keep up appearances?’
He uttered a pithy curse under his breath. ‘You should know by now that when it comes to you, appearances matter very little to me. No, I returned because even though I tried to stay away from you I yearned for you with every breath. I had to be near you even if I couldn’t be with you. And I didn’t walk away because of your strength. I walked away because of my weakness. I’m in love with you, Madeleine. But I put you in an impossible position and coerced you into this marriage...and I’ve spent every waking moment since then fighting my conscience against letting you go. Slipping up with protection seemed to be another sign that I wasn’t doing right by you.’
‘So...you intend to set me free?’ she whispered raggedly.
‘That was my intention the morning after our wedding night...for all of half a second. But to do that I’d have to rip my own heart out because you’re so imbedded in it. I can’t live without you, Maddie. I was relieved when you insisted on coming back to the palace. But having you close without having you is torture. So I’m here to plead for a fresh start. To see if there is a way we can start over regardless of what the test results show.’ His nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply. ‘That means you’re not allowed to leave me,’ he stated.
A tremulous smile broke free. ‘I’m not, am I?’
A mixture of pleading and determination stamped his face. ‘I’ll do whatever you want. We can return to the Amber Palace or we can live here. The staff tell me you’ve grown attached to the maze at the Amber Palace.’
‘It was a place to lose myself for a few hours when I missed you so badly.’
Silver-grey eyes lit up with a churning of emotions so vivid her breath caught. ‘I love you, Maddie. Give me another chance. I vow never to be separated from you again.’
‘I’ll have you on one condition, Remi.’
He inhaled sharply. ‘Name it and it’s yours.’
‘Kiss me, Remi. Love me. Make me yours again. Please.’
He kissed her with a ferocious hunger that filled the ache in her heart. And when he caught her hand and led her through to his suite Maddie went willingly.
She let him take off her clothes and lay her on his bed. When he undressed and pulled her into his arms, she slid her hand over his jaw.
‘Remi?’
‘Si, amore dea?’
‘I love you, too.’
His eyes blazed bright for endless moments before he blinked. ‘Will you stay with me? Be my queen? Reign by my side?’
‘On one condition...’
He caught and kissed the palm of her hand. ‘Celeste’s belongings were returned to her parents the morning after our wedding. There’s no trace of her in our home and the staff are under strict instructions to speak as much or as little about her as you dictate. She was a part of me, but she’s in my past now. Your strength, your devotion, your courageous challenges and the way you never back down are what I yearn for in my life. What I hope to be privileged enough to receive every day for as long as we live.’
Tears clogged her throat. ‘Oh, Remi.’
‘It’s my turn to demand a kiss.’
She wrapped willing and loving arms around him and gave herself up to him. Then silence reigned as they gave in to bliss.
Two hours later, freshly showered, they descended the grand staircase hand in hand.
To the news from the doctor that she was indeed carrying the Montegovan heir.
Remi promptly swept her off her feet and carried her back upstairs.
After calling his mother to tell her the news, they called her father. Hearing him happy and healthy brought fresh tears to her eyes. She rang off with a promise to visit with Remi, after which she slid back into her husband’s arms.
‘Are you ready to be a father?’
Eyes feverish with love consumed her as his hand splayed over her belly. ‘With you by my side, I can face anything.’
‘God, how can love hurt and make me so happy at the same time?’
‘Because it’s the most powerful emotion of all. And I’m blessed to have yours.’
‘I love you. For ever, Remi.’
‘Siempre, mia regina.’
EPILOGUE
MADDIE WATCHED HER husband swim towards where she lay on a lounger next to the pool at the Amber Palace.
At five months pregnant, she knew her be
lly was rounded enough to make her state visible—a fact demonstrated by her husband when he launched himself out of the pool and immediately crossed to her side, his gaze lingering lovingly on her belly.
‘Have I told you how breathtaking you look?’
‘Not since this morning, no,’ she said with a mock pout.
He dropped to his knees beside her, one hand gliding over her swollen stomach as he leaned down to kiss her. ‘I can barely catch my breath from how beautiful you are, dea mia,’ he said gruffly when he lifted his head after a thorough, soul-shaking kiss.
‘You take my breath away too, my noble king.’
King Remirez of Montegova had taken to his new title and role with aplomb, and his people were showering even more adoration upon him now than they had at his coronation three months ago.
But it was when Maddie used his title like this in private moments that he loved it most.
His eyes darkened now, an arrogant smile curving his mouth when a thorough scrutiny showed what his focused attention had done to her body. His gaze lingered on her peaked nipples and racing pulse before coming back to hers.
He started to reach for her again, then groaned when his phone rang.
He answered, his features growing irritated as the conversation continued. Then he hung up abruptly and tossed the phone aside.
She caught his hand, wove her fingers through his. ‘Is everything okay?’
His lips compressed. ‘It looks like Jules isn’t the only brother causing waves. Zak isn’t answering his phone...again...and Violet Barringhall seems to have disappeared.’
‘What? Is she...? Do you need to inform the authorities?’
He shook his head. ‘My security team informs me they’re both unharmed, and curiously in the same Caribbean location.’ His tone was more irritated than furious.
‘You think they’re together?’
‘Most likely. I can only surmise that they wish to remain incommunicado. But, whatever they’re up to, I’m not going to let them ruin this moment.’
‘Oh? And what moment is that?’