Loving.
It was hard to take.
Flushing, I cleared my throat. ‘Even as an Exile, did Wyrm violate Horde Law by killing a human?’
His gaze flashed at the name. ‘No.’ Disgruntled clicks streamed from his throat. ‘Now it is Law for Horde, but he is an Exile and not subject to the tenets that bind us.’
‘That’s great. Belated but great.’ I sighed, and rubbed my nose in the hollow of his throat. ‘You told me things are unsettled. Has that changed?’
‘No.’ He looked as if he’d swallowed something nasty.
‘If you punished him, it wouldn’t have appeared fair to the warriors you said are causing you problems.’
My own words brought clarity to my suffering.
It sucked I had blood on my hands, but if it meant us humans were safer without compromising Bhyr’s influence, so be it.
‘He took you, and I will–’
‘He wasn’t going to kill me. I pushed him to it. He wanted to use me to humiliate you.’
‘I see you understand the motivation behind the act.’
For an awful moment, resentment welled from the nest of snakes writhing in my middle and squatted on my tongue like a greasy slug. The emotion swelled like a tsunami, a Godzilla ready to wipe out a continent. I wanted to scream at him that it had been my job to understand these things. That I’d spent a lifetime working towards a profession he’d taken me from on a planet something like this would never have happened to me.
‘Is this why you did not call to me?’ he asked with care as if sensing my turmoil. ‘You had time. He would never come inside my nest.’
He carried me to the bathing chamber.
My anger was too exhausting to hold onto. I let it go. ‘Much like Grace was bait for me, I was bait for you.’ I rested my cheek against his scarred chest. ‘I refuse to let myself be used to hurt you. Besides, there are other women on Vøtkyr who need the protection of your Law. You’re too important to risk.’
A bass note buzzed low in his throat. ‘You protected me.’ I thought he might be amused… or annoyed.
My reflection in the waterfall stared back at me.
Who was that woman?
Waist length hair stringy. Brown skin sallow and crusted with gunk where it wasn’t swollen and discoloured. Eyes bloodshot and hollow, staring a thousand yard stare, her arms painted purplish red to the elbow. ‘There’s red on me,’ I said then cackled, because if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry forever.
Bhyr cupped my face. ‘This feeling will pass.’
Tears wet my chin, his hands, the floor. ‘No, it won’t.’ My fingers plucked at his fingers cradling my jaw. ‘I sound ugly now.’ More noisy-quiet crying.
‘This will pass,’ Bhyr repeated, ‘and when he is dead, you will know peace.’
I thought about explaining everything, but it would be a long time talking. I was so tired, and my throat hurt. He was warm and solid. It felt like nothing short of an act of god could tear him from my side. I settled for wallowing in the shelter of his embrace and let it all go on without me.
He’d see the truth of the matter soon enough.
At Bhyr’s urging, I waded into the hot pool a step ahead of him. I stood in the middle on my tippiest tiptoes, buoyed by the water where it gathered deepest. Water lapped at my chin and steam beaded along my hairline to roll down my temples. I was cold. The ball of ice lodged in my heart refused to thaw. I flattened my feet, lowering from my toes to my heels, and as my lashes fluttered closed, the water slipped over the crown of my head. Sounds were muffled. The pressure of air and liquid fought for space in my nose and ears. I opened my eyes, marvelled at a glittered world tinted shades of pink. My lips parted, and my mouth filled with sweet heat. Still the icy cold spread through my extremities.
Hands hooked under my armpits and hauled me up.
I gulped the air I’d failed to realise my body was desperate for. Head bowed, my wet lashes lifted to brave a look at Bhyr’s inscrutable expression.
‘I’m fine,’ I said.
I waited for him to say I should never have left with Arj Wyrm. I waited for the claim my suffering was self imposed. I waited for him to take the little independence I’d claimed for myself and grind it under his heel. Instead, he towed me towards the shallower water near the pool edge. He released his hold to bury his hands in my hair. He massaged my scalp and rubbed my tresses to loosen debris. He stroked my face and neck. He smoothed his rough palms over my shoulders and breasts. I shivered when his touch left behind trails of heat.
‘Give me your back.’ I turned, and he pulled me into his chest. His erection dug into my spine. ‘Brave female.’ He lifted me up and impaled me before I recovered from my shock. ‘My mate.’
Speared to the core, I arched. The thrust of his cock exploded through me like a shooting star across a black sky. His hand settled on my lower stomach. Possessive. It slid up to press between my breasts.
He paused to savour the drumming of my heart.
My body was willing, but my mind….
‘I don’t think I can do this.’ I scrunched my eyes closed. ‘I thought I could, but maybe I’m not ready to shake it off.’
‘You will not be afraid of this. Of me. We fought too hard to surrender now.’ He paused. ‘If you need me to stop–’
My vision blurred. ‘Don’t.’
‘Mine.’ He rubbed his mouth on the nape of my neck, then dragged the flat of his tongue across it. ‘All mine.’
There was nothing gentle in the way he handled me. I didn’t care. Each strike against my womb sent fiery sparks scattering into the frozen void lodged in my chest.
I begged him with nails and teeth to fuck me harder.
I threw back my head, but when he settled his mouth against mine, I stiffened.
He stilled. ‘Indira?’
If I could have cut out my tongue and ripped off my lips, I would have. They felt dirty.
Contaminated.
‘Kiss me,’ I breathed, ragged. ‘Make it go away.’
He did.
Long, deep and slow until the sickness washed clean.
His large hand clamped over my breast, and my turgid nipple dug into his palm. His other hand cupped my pussy and ground against my clit.
I reached between my spread thighs to cover his hand with my own, fingers seeking the feel of his shuttling cock splitting me in two.
Ramming himself deep, he stiffened. The shaft inside me swelled until it wedged inside my cunt, pulsing, sending me into a heaving, cursing frenzy.
The spurt of his seed was a scalding river.
I came and brightness blinded my eyes. It was clean. Sweet. The exquisite pleasure a molten torrent that left scorched earth in its wake.
Without pause, he unseated himself, spun me around and hooked the backs of my knees into the crooks of his elbows. I slung my arms around his neck. Hard and leaking, he thrust his cock back inside me. He took me hard until he came again, the force of his thrusts juddering my whole body and sending sparks of pleasure across my vulva. I climaxed, shaking and gasping, and felt the icy dark shatter.
He flooded me, his head thrown back and his throat working with each splash of cum that bathed my womb.
Chest heaving, he set me on the side of the pool, cock sliding from me slickly.
‘Better?’ he asked, breathing hard and deep.
‘Yes.’
Irritation thickened the air.
I sighed. ‘It is better. As much as sex makes anything better.’
‘I want to take care of you. Tell me how.’
Wrung out, I put my chin on his shoulder. ‘You’re doing it.’
‘But you are sad.’
‘I’m just cold.’
Bhyr separated us and cradled me against his chest.
He drew us into the deeper water and sank beneath the surface, keeping us there until I felt half human.
We dressed and ate rather than disappear into the furs, a good thing, as Bihter returned between one sun and th
e next with a dozen Horde.
Bhyr didn’t ask if I wanted to come or order me to stay, simply waited for my decision.
I mounted his beast on my own steam, but ended up slouched into him as we rode in the midst of the war band.
We pulled up short hours later, my legs and backside numb, and Bhyr dismounted into the blackened slush.
He reached for me.
Only then did I notice I wasn’t the sole human present.
Cristina ran to me.
She dithered, not knowing where to touch. ‘Oh, Indie.’
‘You look like shit.’ Ashleigh pushed back her hood with a grimace, cheekbones flushed with cold. Tendrils of hair flew around her fair face, making her seem ethereal and more fairy-touched than ever.
‘Wow.’ Cristina gave her big eyes. Snowflakes crusted her eyelashes. ‘Way to help.’
‘You think she doesn’t know she looks like shit?’
‘Say something nice.’
‘Like what?’ Ashleigh sounded light-hearted, but her expression was tight.
‘Yeah,’ was all I could think to say. I knew I looked rough.
Cristina startled. ‘Your voice,’ she breathed, hand flitting to clutch her throat.
Ashleigh smacked her arm. ‘And you gave me grief?’
‘I’m fine,’ I said. I would be.
I trudged through the mounding snow towards the warriors bellowing for Arj Wyrm to come face his end.
They formed a crescent around the cave mouth.
Trees loomed above them, sentinels bearing witness, pink-white leaves bleached by the moonlight into silver fronds. Spindly white trunks listed to the side in the whistling wind, dusting us in thicker flurries of snow and the woody fragrance of damp bark.
‘He’s not coming,’ I said.
‘He will face me.’ Bhyr’s profile set into a stubborn line.
‘He’s dead, Bhyr.’
The warriors fell silent. Staring eyes shifted to me.
Face heating at the attention, I ignored their gazes to study his. It burned with realisation and, I thought, a hint of pride. I jerked my head. ‘Let’s get this over with.’
The atmosphere didn’t improve inside. Dank, stinking of mould and piss, dark, but for the greenish starlight.
The Horde were disbelieving, packed around the narrow entrance.
Bihter prowled the space, suspicious eyes roaming the messy scene, while Ohx planted himself in the middle, grimly satisfied with my wet work.
Bhyr’s gaze stalked my every move. Something profound worked across his face.
I kept my own averted.
Cristina chatted in nervous bursts, but stammered herself speechless when she got a look at what was left of Arj Wyrm.
Ashleigh knelt next to the druzy coffin of frost creeping over Grace. ‘What happened?’ She looked at me, expressionless. ‘You took her clothes.’
I hunched, tucking my hands into my armpits. ‘I needed them more.’
‘Right.’ She finger-combed Grace’s brittle hair. ‘It’s not like she deserved dignity in death.’
I flinched.
‘Two of us gone in one day,’ she said. ‘At this rate, we’ll all be dead in a year. Maybe two.’
‘Wait. A breeder died?’ My gaze landed on Bhyr.
He inclined his head, faint lines creasing the flesh between his eyes. I knew that look. He hadn’t wanted to worry me.
‘Murdered,’ Ashleigh corrected. ‘Hanna. Her name was Hanna.’ She sighed. ‘She was happy. Arj Kryll was good to her. I don’t understand why she got hurt. We can’t find him, but when we do, he better have a damn good explanation.’
I met Bhyr’s gaze the moment he lowered it in grief.
Arj Kryll was dead.
33
Indira
They’re really going to do it. The rebellious Horde were going to force Bhyr’s hand, and then our lives would become a war zone.
I glanced at Ohx, irritated he hadn’t clued Ashleigh in on Arj Kryll’s demise.
He looked away.
I understood why he hadn’t said anything. He didn’t want his woman afraid, because if it happened to Hanna, it could happen to any of us, including Ashleigh. Sympathetic as I was to his frame of mind, I didn’t agree with keeping her unaware of the reality of our situation.
It didn’t matter how upset she got in the short term. Not knowing made her vulnerable.
I’d have a private word with Bhyr to let him know I’d be passing on the information to the other women.
He could warn Ohx to be prepared for the fallout.
Ashleigh called my name. ‘How come she’s dead and–’
‘And what?’ Cristina stomped over to stand between us. ‘How come she’s dead and Indie’s alive?’
‘Take it down a notch. I’m not saying it to be mean.’ Ashleigh shook her head. ‘Grace was scared of her own shadow. It’s not fair she died so far from home. She was decent. Nice.’
‘Maybe that’s the reason she’s lying there.’ Cristina crossed her arms. ‘We’re all nice and decent people. You play the hand you’re dealt, and you play to win. She gave up, and now look at her.’
‘She was brave at the end,’ I said quietly. ‘She stood up for herself.’ And got her head twisted backward as a reward.
‘See?’ Ashleigh arched an eyebrow at my friend.
‘You’re acting as if Indie did something wrong walking away from this.’ Cristina flung her arm in front of me. ‘We should be grateful.’
‘Grateful? We’re dropping like flies. Excuse me, if I want to know the secret of how to not end up like this.’ She thrust a hand at the body.
Ohx stepped up behind her to put a hand on her shoulder. His other hand hovered over the double-bladed axe latched to his back. ‘This will not be you. Not ever. I die first.’
Ashleigh slumped. She placed her hand atop his then shot a desperate look at me. ‘I’m sorry, Indira. I didn’t mean to imply this was your fault.’
‘No?’ I asked.
‘I’m scared. Ignore me.’
‘Okay.’ Maybe it was my fault. I’d done my best, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing I did on this planet was enough.
Sick of it.
I wasn’t the type of person to fail at things, and I’d had loss after loss.
I needed a win.
My eyes flicked over the cave. No less off-putting then I remembered. I straightened, determined to explain what happened. I wanted to leave and never look back. I opened my mouth, but paused, catching a whiff of the puddle beneath Wyrm. His death shit. Pee. Whatever the hell you called it when it came out of the same hole. I was perturbed and disgusted, then I noticed white flecks on my leg. I squealed and flapped at it thinking I’d had his bowel juice on me the whole damn time. It wouldn’t come off. It wouldn’t come off, so I’d cut the damn leg off, right at the knee and be done with it. I’d rather hobble around on a wooden peg then have anything of that male on me or in me ever again. It stank. I could smell it and... it was flecks of white-coloured fur from the hide I wore. The one I changed into after Bhyr bathed me.
My racing heart slowed.
Everyone stared as if I were rabid and about to bite.
‘You’re a doctor,’ Cristina said. ‘Could you do something, please?’
‘Astrophysics,’ Ashleigh replied. ‘I have a doctorate in–for fuck sake. Even if I was a medical doctor, it’s not the same thing as a psychoanalyst or a psychiatrist.’ She peeked at my face. I must have looked unhinged because she chewed her lip and hesitated to give an outright no. ‘I could sedate her with whatever they’ve got lying around. I have no idea of the side effects.’
‘Do it. She needs help.’
‘This is a terrible idea.’
‘If either of you care,’ I said, ‘I don’t want to be drugged.’
Drugged further, at least.
I was sure Ohx had given me a sedative as well as a muscle relaxant. I was too calm for it to be a natural state.
‘You don’t have to tea
r my head off,’ Cristina said not hearing me. ‘Hashtag Drama.’
Ashleigh closed her eyes as if she were pained. ‘If you hashtag at me or near me one more time, I’m going to hurt you. It bothers me.’
Cristina tossed her head. ‘My coping mechanism bothers you? Your face bothers me.’
The Horde stared at us like we were aliens.
Because we were.
Funny.
My head rocked back.
I let loose a belly laugh that hurt my sides and squeezed painful tears from my eyes.
The warriors took a collective shuffle backwards.
‘Um, Indie?’ Cristina patted my back. ‘You doing okay?’
I cut the laughter and said in a very calm voice, ‘Sure.’
It fooled nobody.
The warriors took another toe to heel step.
Someone bumped into someone else then knives, short swords and axes were unsheathed. Pandemonium. Shoving and snarling amongst the ranks as the nervous energy ratcheted.
‘Enough.’ Bhyr’s heat warmed my side.
While some interpreted where he stood as a sign of possession, most understood it for the support it was.
‘Leave us. I must speak with my breeder. Alone.’
Bihter’s mouth thinned. ‘I want to know what happened here.’ He gazed at Grace. His fingers curled under.
‘You bear no responsibility for the female’s demise,’ Bhyr said not unkindly. ‘The rest is incidental. I will advise of my thoughts on this matter during the next hunt.’ His eyes twitched in my direction.
He tried to protect me from future condemnation–to shift the blame onto himself.
I touched his arm, shaking my head. I didn’t want to have gone through hell for him to bring his fitness to rule further into doubt. God. I was supposed to help not hinder.
Bihter caught the look. He determined Bhyr’s intentions a split second after me, and his eyes darkened. ‘First, I understand you must protect your breeder from those who would judge her, but I beg you reconsider implicating yourself….’ Bihter’s attention shifted, his impassioned plea trailing off.
Falling into a loose-limbed, ready pose, the Horde warriors turned towards the cave mouth, listening, intent. Waiting. Their synchronised movement was eerie to witness. It made the Horde seem a hive mind.
Bhyr: Science Fiction Romance (Alien Warrior Book 3) Page 30