by Gin Eborn
“But the Dream Lodge fire, it came later from the Seven Goddesses as a gift to the sacred Earth. As a way for her to connect to a Dreamer and bring hajone back into the world. And we Creation Dreamers were given life here thanks to seed from the Eristotus in union with the Calypsos. And it was magical!
“But this world holds the laws of duality. For each great thing we created, there had to be a shadow. Each dream had its nightmare. The better we dreamed—the greater the hajone—the deeper the darkness was also. And then the darkness took root in a new way. It infested the very essence of the two-leggeds, like a perversion of the Universe’s intention. And it took over. They were all infested and no dreaming could stop it. We tried.”
She lifted her hands up to the sky. “The Celestial beings had to send you. I knew I was not strong enough to hold the full power needed to shift the trajectory of the Earth. I prayed, and I begged for help, and no one noticed what was happening. They had to see our desperation. The entire future of the Earth depended on it.”
She turned to me with a pained face. “I was the one. I led the two-leggeds away from the Fire Council. It was me and it was the only way I knew to get the rid of the infestation. I thought if I could just get them to the other side of the veil, they could live out their lives and the Alphazians could live theirs. Paradise on this side and the shadow world on the two-legged side. It all made sense at the time.
So I made the sacrifice, and left the protection of the Dream Lodge. I ripped the veil, and I led them away. I convinced them they were right and they needed their own land. So they all followed me. But I was wrong. I didn’t know when I left the Goddess fire would go out. And I didn’t tell the Earth what I was doing, which was basically crippling her. I left her with no way to dream a new world—no way to counter the nightmares. I was her betrayer.
So now you are here to relight the fire, thank gods, and the Earth can dream again. And all the chaos I started can be healed.” She took a deep breath as her eyes pierced my skin.
“And you are a very special mutation of the Creation Dreamer energy, and yes, we know Aldon told you. You are able to do far more than I ever could. The deep magics woven into you come from the Seven Goddesses. It’s their power that created you.”
There was a rumble in the sky. “I have to hurry, before they find me. Maggie, your mother birthed two of you. You were woven Goddess energy in her womb and—”
“Yes, I met Aya. Fucking shock of a lifetime.”
“She’s the distraction. Just a decoy. You are the one with the real power.”
Thunder built as the sky grew black. Ossia kept looking up as if someone was going to reach out of the sky and grab her.
“You are the one who needs to dream the Earth awake.”
“But the Earth is trying to fucking kill us all off and my friend, Chama, who is—in the know, told me she wants me dead just like everyone else.”
“The Earth is angry and I’m afraid my actions didn’t help anything.”
“That was forever ago.”
“In your plane of existence, yes. But not in ours. We don’t track time like the Atlantians do. You are a goddess, Maggie. The power you hold is beyond any we have seen here. Stronger than Aya ever could be, but she has no idea. It is a secret among the Dreamers and the Seven Goddesses. Even the Earth does not know. You are the most magical being ever woven into this plane of existence with Calypso and Goddess energy. But no one must know.
That was why I could invoke them. I was them.
Holes opened in the clouds and lights poured down, and they closed again. Like eyes peeking through from one world to another.
“I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “We needed more time. Convince the Earth to trust you. It is the only way. And stay away from the nightmares. They are hidden everywhere.” A beam of light grazed her arm, and she burned. “They are after me.” She reached into the water. “Here. You are going to need this.” It was a small branch. “It is from our sacred yew tree. For the Lodge.” She stroked my cheek. “And now it is yours. I am excited for you, and I am sorry for you as well. But it is as it must be. And so it is.” She bowed to me and then to the sky. “I am ready to come home.”
She blurred into the air and dissipated into nothingness. Mountain Bear’s voice led me back into my body, naked except for the symbols. The branch in my hand.
“You have seen her.” Mountain Bear stated, nodding.
“Yes.” He handed me a cloak to put on.
“You may never tell me what was shared between you. I am protected in my ignorance, and I want to keep it that way. But now—now, you are ready to find your true nature. The Lodge is yours. You have fire and you have the wood. Once lit, the Dream Lodge fire will lift us back up through the portal fire at the top of the mountain. Your power circle there is the perfect anchor and when we get sucked back, fake you dissipates. Understand?” He touched the back of my shoulder and continued before I could say no. “The Dream Lodge is back where it belongs. I’ll just be outside while you do the thing. Usually, I say take your time, but fucking hurry your shit up, okay, because this bitch is going down!”
Not the teacher I expected, but happy he was the one I got.
I’m not sure where the calm came from—a deep-seeded peacefulness. The heartbeat of everything and everyone—not just around me but on the planet. I was the fire and the earth and the water and the air. I remember thinking how simple it all was as I unfolded my right hand, and the orb drifted up to me. I blew out across the single flame as the fire draped itself over the piece of wood, popping as the yew made the body sacrifice. The hearth welcomed it into her womb.
The fire’s light bounced from wall to wall, shooting a full spectrum of color in every direction. For the first time since the two-leggeds left fire council, the flame was once again alive. The wind brought me the voices of everyone in the Village as cheers erupted; I couldn’t help but laugh. After a lifetime of hiding, suddenly now I was seen by everyone. I imagined them dancing and celebrating with childlike fervor. Except for the few arrow-flinging cowards I would have to deal with later.
The Dream Lodge was home. I was sitting in my very own place. And no matter what happened, I could and would go back and bring Fisher here with me. I liked that.
I took in the celebration sounds from the Village, savoring the fire as the flame grew stronger. The light shot up through the chimney and into the sky. I just knew the Celestials had joined our celebration and would send shooting stars in my honor. I wondered about Thomas and if he had survived.
My fingers fumbled the bird skull one last time. The flame’s glow brought it to life. Its warmth and golden light washed through me as I placed it onto the flame.
The first click happened almost immediately. And then the second and the third. I closed my eyes and felt gears inside my body turning and connecting into each other. A grind and a spin and a click until the next gear moved and the dam broke open. Every cell in my body flooded with power—familiar and yet unknown. All I could do was breathe, gasp really, and try to help it move through me. My veins expanded; my heart pounded. The snapshots tore through my mind. Forward through time, back through time like a pendulum swinging. Images I could not take in, because they moved too swiftly. The Earth was shaking. I was shaking. Every cell, every nerve awake and alive and I couldn’t slow it down or stop it. I didn’t want to stop it. As much as it hurt, the force of it ripping through me and pulling my very flesh off the bone, I wanted it.
“More,” I thought. “Give me more.” I had been starving and never even knew it. And like a ravenous animal, there was no end to the energy craving inside me. I suckled, mercilessly.
I don’t remember standing. I don’t remember floating up. I just remember this momentary, overwhelming sensation that I was goddess and I liked it. I was an orb of all souls. I was the master magician able to shatter every illusion with one snap of my fingers.
Of course, I thought. “To create with the gods, I have to be one.
I am a goddess.”
Floating up through the Lodge, my laughter was uncontrollable. I got it. I understood. I knew everything. The simplicity. The depths of the pain and the difficulties were only a reflection of the depth of ease and joy we could have. It was our choice. We could look and see joy or look and see pain. It was that simple.
It ripped me open. I was expansive.
Ossia’s voice echoed in me—hajone dreams have nightmares.
And then I lost consciousness.
16
From Here to In-Between
There was an ear-piercing roar as Mountain Bear’s claw slammed my face. The orgasm that had been unleashed inside me pulsed but the connection was lost. And I hated that part.
“I am one of the gods, and I will kill you,” I had no filters.
“You can try, but you will not succeed, I promise you.” Mountain Bear commanded, holding my orb.
“That’s mine. You will give it back to me.”
“It is yours. Truth. But I will give it to you when you are ready to behave like an evolved Dreamer and not a power-hungry child. You don’t get to blow up the world, and you are certainly not the gods.”
He had no idea I was a woven goddess mutation chick. And I couldn’t tell him. I reigned my energy in as best I could.
“You should have warned me,” I chided, “about what it would feel like.”
“You have stepped out of ignorance. That much is true. There was no way to know the impact the awakening would have on you.”
“Fuck.” My head pounded. The expansion energy flooded back in along with surges of rage. Boiling heat turned me red.
Mountain Bear landed full-force on top of me. I was paralyzed. Squirming like a bug taking its last moments in a glass of milked coffee.
“I will always be able to take you down. Don’t you ever forget that. Now you have to control this.”
“I don’t know how,” I managed to say out of the side of my face.
“Yes, you do. Now get your energy back in your hoop. That hoop of yours will contain you. All of you. Now do it.”
I did as he asked. Everything calmed.
“You better now?” His voice mocked me.
I nodded, wedged up under his armpit.
He laughed loud and long. “You think you are one of the gods? No, little kitten, you are horribly mistaken. You work for them. And one day you will have to choose which of the gods you want to serve. Can I let you go?”
I nodded again. Not sure what hurt more, him throwing himself on me or the fact that I couldn’t tell him the truth. Either way, I was humbled. Either way, I knew I served the Seven Goddesses, and I wondered if one of the seven was going to be my teacher as well. As long as he could always be my teacher, too. I missed most of what he was saying.
“You have to learn to be the right size. Don’t be bigger than you think you are, or smaller, for that matter. You have to learn to be your size and you have to give yourself time to grow into the Dreamer energy. You remember that and we are good.”
I simply nodded.
We walked out into the night together though I stayed a couple steps behind. We really were back on the mountain top and the sounds from the festivities below made us both laugh. There was no Aya, and I was not about to ask.
“You need a staff. Listen inside and call one to you.”
“Ash tree,” I declared and one pushed out of the ground. “Staff.” I lifted my hand, and a branch came to me nestling perfectly in my palm. Mountain Bear nodded as I placed my orb on top, the glow of the orb frightened me. So exposed. Going back to Elder Village frightened me, too.
“What is it?” Mountain Bear stopped, looking at me.
“Will my orb even make fire again?”
“No way to know.”
“And the Claiming Ritual?”
“You don’t have anything to worry about. You simply join with one of us, energetically, of course. One on pure heart. One who only wishes for your highest option.”
“Will you help me navigate the ceremony?”
“No. I can’t come.
“Why?” I stopped.
“I live here. River Wolf and I protect this sacred mountain. And now you. But I can never leave here, especially now that the Lodge is awake.”
“Then I shouldn’t go either.”
“We can talk about all of that later.”
“What do you mean ‘that’?” I was getting really sick of all the accidental information oversights.
“Tonight, you will be claimed, and all of Alphazia will celebrate you. And then tomorrow, you come back here and we begin your dream work. You train here. You will connect with the Earth here. With me. We have lots ahead of us.”
“But physically, I can go where I want, right? I mean the veil should be open. I can go back.”
Mountain Bear was still. He took a big bear breath that lasted for three of mine. “The veil is open. But doorways can open and no one knows until someone tells them. So when you dream tomorrow night, your dream will help everyone join again in community. I hope.”
His answer was a big fucking no, but he didn’t understand who I was. I decided to change the subject.
“Okay, MB, between you and me, where the hell are Aya and Blue Eagle?”
“MB?”
I tried to look cute. It was a few beats before he laughed and nodded.
“They are in the Tower.”
“My tower?”
“The same.”
“But I escaped.”
“Trust me. They won’t.”
“But—”
He raised his paw. “Nope. No more. Leave it.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “You have to go. Everyone will want to be with you. Only the one who respects you truly and sacredly can have you. Others can try, but the connection won’t work.”
“Can River come?”
“He can. But he rarely leaves below. Now go. Get it over with, and I will see you soon.”
I headed toward the path that led me to the Lodge. Mountain Bear yelled after me.
“You can try to go that way if you want. Or it may be easier to just use the in-between. You know how.”
“Right.” My cheeks warmed.
The world moved into slow motion as I turned to look at Mountain Bear. His face smiling, and chandy shining. I took him in. My teacher. I wanted to have that image with me forever.
I raised my arms, holding one thought: River Wolf.
I saw every detail of him standing by the line at the stone where we parted with the open field below him and the hot springs. The smell of him. He was as real as I could imagine. With this new power, every sensation was more heightened. But I would remain my usual size for the time being.
Mountain Bear and the Lodge dissipated as the layers of existence shifted into molecules with large, open space around them.
“Easy. It has always been so easy,” I thought, weaving through the in-between.
Without a sound, I re-formed with my hand on River’s shoulder. He didn’t even jump.
“I saw the light. I knew you’d be coming.” He turned toward me with a grin that shifted into what I would call shock. “Your hair.”
“What?”
“Your hair,” he repeated.
It was down near my waist, silky and smooth. Not one knot. I'll admit I was a little freaked out, but it was nothing compared to the newly amplified sounds all around me. River’s heartbeat. Water moving. The air shifting. The Alphazian celebration seemed to be a foot from me. Cats in the woods. They knew I was back. Clarimonde landed on my shoulder.
“Why didn’t I hear your heartbeat?”
“Well, a hello would be appropriate here.”
I paused and asked again. “Why don’t I hear your heart beating?”
She jumped up and down on my shoulder, laughing. “Because I’m dead, sugar.” It didn’t surprise me, really. “Hope that’s okay with you,” she continued.
“I kind of like it actually.” She nuzzled into
the side of my face. “It’s forbidden for me to be around you. Some kind of Caly law about the dead, but I don’t care much for laws.”
“Well, I’ll meet you at the Claiming. Been so long I don’t think anyone knows how this thing works.”
As usual, I was a beat late in thinking of all the questions I wanted to ask her. She was gone.
I looked at River who was still staring at my hair. “Is it that bad?”
“No.” He was a conversationalist as usual.
“So I am off to the Claiming party or whatever you all call it. Thought I’d see if you were coming. Have you thought about it?”
He was silent.
“Okay, so I thought you could come, and you could claim me.” I didn’t try to hide. The level of newfound confidence was—unexpected. “I’d rather be connected to someone I know I can trust. And you are it.”
River just stared at me. He offered no reaction whatsoever.
“River? Did you hear me? I need to know if you will claim me? Be my Alphazia Alpha? Help me hold all of this.”
I felt the heat in my face, and the fight to be my ’right-size’. I wanted to expand and grab the power and force him to do what I wanted, but I could still feel the MB body crush, so I chose to breathe it through.
“I don’t know. I don’t know that I want to taste your power. Not sure what I’d do with it.”
“You will rule with me.”
“Rule?”
“Yes, we will share the knowledge and create the world in the image we desire. Think of it. Us together. Constantly dreaming this world awake. The wolf and the Dreamer united.” He didn’t seem to enjoy my humor. “Please,” I whispered, “it must be someone I can trust.”