“You want it harder, Blondie? Tell me what you want? I love seeing you take both Hulks, you're so fuckin’ hot.”
“Oh God, Oh God,” I cry.
He turns on the vibrator and I explode. Being filled like this in two places, something I've never done but trusted Nico with. The enormity of what we've just done is a revelation as another orgasm barrels into me, taking the air out of my lungs, leaving me panting and dropping to the bed. I lay there, trying to catch my breath as Nico pulls out of me slowly, turning off my vibrator and pulling that out too.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
I nod as best as I can, just laying there limp, trying to wrap my head around everything that's happened. What I just let happen.
It’s one night. Fuck Kat and her blackmail, I need him tonight. I’ve missed him so much I need to indulge. I need to not burn this bridge, so maybe when this is all over, we can try and get back to the way things were before. I’m about to turn around and tell him to stay when I feel his weight leave the bed and I watch him.
“Where are you goin’?” I ask as he reaches for his jeans on the floor.
“The hotel. I'm not staying tonight.”
“Why the fuck not?” I ask getting to a sitting position.
“We both know this is you needing a release. You got it, my job is done.”
“Nico, you followed me here. I didn’t need-”
“You did, Blondie. You were struggling by yourself, don’t deny it,” he smirks.
“Fine, but Nico, we just...you just. I...that just…”
Nico smirks and walks closer to me, putting a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Lacey Turner, speechless. Thought I'd never see that happen once, let alone twice .”
“Stay...please,” I whisper.
My stomach flips at how needy I sound, how much love is seeping out of my voice. God, I sound so weak, but I need him. He probably thinks I’m an indecisive shit but again, I don’t care.
“Why?”
“Because I've...what we just did...that was a big deal for me.”
He furrows his brows and looks at me curiously. I keep my eyes locked on his, showing him the truth behind my words.
“Okay.”
With that one simple word, I move over in bed and reveal in his touch all night, embrace it and stay wrapped in his safety, because I have to pull away and rip him to shreds again tomorrow.
-----
“Can I ask how long it took you Lacey, to confide in Nico about your mother and her plan?”
I wipe my eyes not realizing I'm even crying again and take a breath.
“I...a couple weeks after that. I...I started drinkin’ a little heavier than normal. The weight of all of it--the money, hurtin’ Nico, being away from him...all of it. She came to see me again and she saw us together the next mornin’. She told me the truth about my father and stepmother’s relationship, and I lost it. I had to hurt Nico to keep him away but he wouldn't take no for an answer I...I was horrible, I had to be to protect him but it finally wore me down.”
---
I walk out of the office, the last one as usual and turn to lock the doors to the building. I’ve been working ridiculous hours just to make the extra money and I feel it starting to break me down.
“You’re a fuckin’ liar,” a voice says from behind me.
I spin around and clutch my chest, seeing Kat stand in front of me.
“Jesus Christ. What the hell do you want? I still have another week and a half.”
“You’re still with that baseball player. I saw him leave your house in the mornin’. You were lyin’ to me. I’ll destroy both of you.”
I shake my head and walk towards my car, her following behind me.
Dammit, I knew this would happen. This needs to be done. I need to end this. I could never live with myself if Nico somehow lost baseball because of this shit.
“I wasn’t lyin’. We fuck sometimes, that’s it. Look, I’ll text him right now.”
I take my phone out of my pocket and feel my stomach tighten, nausea creeping up my throat as I open a text message.
“Tell him you’re done. If I don’t get my happy endin’, neither do you. You’re bored of him and you’re done. I wanna see it.”
“I...why would I do that?”
“Because I said so and I have his career in the palm of my hands. For someone that don’t give a shit about him, you seem to.”
I grit my teeth and type out a message, so quickly it’s probably not even English. I couldn't think about the words though, because if I did, I would vomit. I turn it towards my mother, and she smiles.
“God, you’re a bitch. I believe you, send it.”
I press send without reading it and walk towards my car, done with her shit for the night, my stomach in knots.
“I hope you were careful with him, we wouldn’t want history to repeat itself. That man gets you pregnant and has to leave the love of his life to try to make things work with you,” she says laughing.
I turn around slowly to face her.
“What the hell are you talkin’ about? You and my father? Is that what you were gonna tell me that day?”
“I was gonna wait, but this is too good not to spill. I can’t believe you never figured it out.”
“Figured what out?” I ask angrily.
I’m starving, tired and getting fucking impatient. Not to mention I just put a knife in the most real relationship I’ve ever had in my life. Any chances of reconciling after this is over, has just been shot in the head and buried.
“The reason your father and Savannah weren't married long before a few years ago is because I was pregnant with you.”
I feel like I've been doused with a bucket of cold water and I shake my head.
“That’s...that’s not true,” I stutter.
“Oh no? I was friends with her ex-husband back in Texas. She threw herself right into his arms when she found out I was pregnant, spilled it all. Her heartbreak over not gettin’ her man.”
“You...you’re lyin,” I snap.
“I have no reason to lie to you. See you in a week and a half.”
With that she walks away, again to where I have no idea, but I know where I'm going, right fucking now.
-------
I burst through the doors to my parent's house, stomping towards the kitchen. I stand in the doorway with my hands crossed over my chest.
My mama is sitting on the counter, legs wrapped around my father's back and I clear my throat.
“Oh my God,” my mama says pushing my father away from her, adjusting her pajama top.
“Why didn't you tell me that I was the reason y'all weren't together all this time!” I yell forgoing all greetings.
“What?” my father asks slowly turning around. “Did you just come from work? Lacey, it’s 10 o'clock at night, why are you wor-”
“Is it?” I interrupt. “Kat gettin’ pregnant with me ruined the chance y'all had at love. All these years, sixteen fuckin’ years you both were miserable and it was all my fault!”
“Lace, what...that's not true!” my mama says hopping off the counter and rushing towards me.
I step back putting a hand up.
“She told me everythin’,” I say quietly, trying to muster up anger and not hurt.
“How did she...since when have y'all been talkin’? What's goin’ on Lace?” my father asks confused.
“She's been ruinin' my life, that's what's goin’ on! I destroyed things between the two of you,” I say motioning between them.
“She don't know what the hell shes talkin’ about,” my father booms.
“Oh she doesn't? She heard you mama, she knew Hugh and you told him when he asked why y'all weren't together.”
“I...but that's...Lacey your daddy and I are together now, that's all that-”
“I'm just like her,” I say quietly. “I can't have a fuckin’ normal relationship because of her! That fuckin’ letter ruined me, it ripped out my entire
heart for so long. When someone finally comes around to crush all those fears and give me their heart, I destroy it…” I feel a tear leak out of my eye and brush it away quickly. “I destroy everything I...that's my punishment for destroyin’ y’all.”
I cover my face in my hands and go to walk back out of the house, but my mama grabs me and pulls me into a fierce hug, squeezing me so tight so I have no choice but to feel her love.
“Lacey Lee goddamn Turner, I love you so much. Do not for one second listen to that woman. You did not ruin anyone's life. You and your daddy walked into my office and I fell in love all over again, with both of you! Y'all are a package deal and I would never change the past, do you hear me?”
I nod, wrapping my arms around her back, trying to grab some of her strength. She is so strong, so freaking strong. Her heart, the love she gives is endless and I wish I could have a fraction of that. How does she stay strong after everything she has been through?
“What is she doin’, Lace? Let us help you,” my daddy says.
“I can handle it. I just...I couldn't handle bein’ the reason for y'all not bein’ together. Hugh, the divorce, not havin’ a baby I...that would have all never happened if I wasn't-”
“Stop!” my mama says loudly. “Don't do that, Lacey. Don't give her any power. I have you, your daddy, Tucker and Harrison and if I had a choice, I would do it all again the same damn way. She can think what she wants but I love you, okay? Do not hesitate to talk to me or your daddy about any of this. We want to help if we can and if I need to kick her ass, I will be the first in line,” my mama says angrily.
I hug her, laying my head on her chest but knowing there is nothing they can do. There is nothing anyone can do except me.
---
“Hey there sweetheart. Can I buy ya a drink?” says a deep slurred voice from behind me.
“Fuck off,” I grumble finishing the rest of my drink and slamming it on the bar.
“Now wait a minute, I'm just tryna be polite here. I don't like the way you-”
I snap my head around and shoot daggers at him with my gaze.
“Fuck. Off.”
The man mumbles something about being a stuck-up bitch and I turn back around towards the bar.
“Charmin’,” Lenny the bartender says smiling filling my glass again.
“Leave the bottle, Len,” I mumble downing my glass of whiskey.
The burn is soothing, I know I shouldn't keep drinking but I still remember, I still fucking remember his message. The disappointment, the hurt seeping from those words. I did that to him. It was better than the alternative. If he hates me he'll be safer.
“I uh...think you've had enough tonight, Lace,” Lenny says to me.
I look up from my glass raising my eyebrow.
“Oh, do you?” I quip.
“I agree,” says a hard voice from behind me.
Mother fucker.
I close my eyes and grit my teeth.
“The bottle, Lenny. Leave it,” I say sternly.
“Lenny, if you know what's good for you, you'll take that bottle and deal with other customers,” growls Nico.
“Y-yes sir,” he stutters.
“Wow, it wasn’t so long ago that you were pissed I was talkin’ about gettin’ a spankin’ in front of poor Lenny over here. It's cute y'all are teamin’ up on me now,” I say getting off the bar stool.
“Not tonight, Lacey, don’t push me tonight,” Nico rasps.
“Oh no? Maybe you wouldn't like him so much if you knew he was the first boy to touch my tit in high school, right Lens?” I smirk.
Lenny's gaze darts to Nico and his eyes widen.
“That-that was a long time ago, sir. A very long time ago. She's all yours, I don't look at her like that I-”
“Should have just left the bottle,” I grit, throwing a bunch of bills on the bar and pushing past Nico.
I burst through the door, my anger rising to the surface. Good. Get angry Lacey. Do not let him in.
“What the fuck is your problem, huh?” Nico yells following me out.
“You!” I roar turning around poking his chest. “What part of, ‘we are done fuckin'’ don't you understand?”
“All of it. You're done with me, so I'm supposed to just be done with you?”
“Yes.“
“Well I'm not,” he growls pulling my wrist.
My body slams against his and he lifts me easily in his arms, walking us towards his red GTR and sits me on the hood.
I try and fight him but he's too big, massive against my small body.
“Why? Answer me that,” he says pinning my wrists behind my back.
I huff and struggle against him, but he doesn't move a muscle, his body pressed in between my legs.
“I'm bored with you, Nico. I told you I don't do this, I don't keep men around and you knew that. You just lasted longer than the rest, doesn't mean you're any different than them.”
I swear I should win a fucking Emmy because as I say the words my heart is shattering, breaking into a million pieces but my face is stone.
“Oh yeah? Bored? How about I fuck you right here on my car, all the people on the street watching. That too boring for you?” he shouts.
“Do it, you bastard. You wanna prove somethin’? Stake a claim on me? Fuckin’ put your money where your mouth is then. Doesn't mean I still won't walk away from you,” I snap.
If Kat is watching I’m sure she’d be proud of how cold hearted her daughter really is.
“You would like that, you filthy, little tease,” Nico says with amusement.
“Fuck you.”
“Unbuckle my belt and do it then,” he growls.
“You're relentless.”
“And you're fucking stubborn.”
“Dammit Nico, just let me go. Please,” I say softly.
I'm drained, so drained at pretending this is not fucking destroying me and I can't continue it much longer. Drained from these past few months. The bet, my mother, not being our normal, loving selves.
He releases my hands and backs away, his face has disgust written all over it.
“Let me drive you home,” he says his voice hard.
He walks around to the driver’s side, not opening my door for me and I close my eyes, channeling all my strength to survive this ride, remain unphased. He hates me. Good.
We ride in silence to my house and he pulls into my drive, not cutting the engine. I turn to look at him and his jaw is tight, his forearm flexed, gripping onto the steering wheel so hard I swear he might bend it.
“Nico…”
“Don't,” he interrupts not looking to me. “You basically just told me you wanna go hop on another dick, Lacey. Don’t fuckin’ say any cliche shit right now or I'll lose my fuckin’ mind.”
“I never said that!” I yell.
God, I want to tell him so badly. I haven't even so much as glanced at another man since I've met him, I would never even think of it and God knows he's ruined me for anyone else. It makes me want to vomit thinking about anyone else's hands on my body besides his. Anyone else's hands on his body besides mine. I grit my teeth trying to keep my composure.
“Is that...is that what you're gonna do? Go and fuck whatever you see?” I ask angrily.
The jealousy is so obviously seeping out of my words he'd be a fool not to hear it. Shut up, Lacey.
“Does it matter?” he snaps finally looking at me.
I close my eyes and open the door, escaping before he sees it. He's seen parts of me I've never let anyone else see and I can't risk another second or he'll know.
I jog to my front door, fumbling with my keys and finally getting it in the lock, turning the door and slamming it shut behind me, stumbling inside, collapsing on the floor in tears.
“Fuck!” I yell through the tears, pounding my fist on the floor.
‘You don't get to be happy Lacey. You did this to me, I'll repay the favor.’
I take my keys off the floor and throw them against the wall, letti
ng out a frustrated yell.
I get to my knees, rubbing a hand down my face, the tears streaming down like a waterfall, my jaw flexing from rage.
Walk Off (Double Play Series Book 5) Page 20