In the Details
Page 40
And it’s been that way ever since?
YEP.
So does that mean …?
THE BIBLE IS WRONG?
I already assumed that. Does it mean you’re whatever gender people believe you are?
OKAY, PERHAPS IT’S NOT THAT COMPLICATED, THEN.
“Shut the fuck up!” shouted Jessica.
“What’s it?” Destinee said.
“Shh!” She held her finger to her lips so she could concentrate. If enough people believe you’re a woman, you’ll just become a woman?
IT GOES EMPIRE BY EMPIRE, BUT YES.
Empire by empire? Wait a minute! Is the United States considered an empire?
OH BOY.
Is it?
YES.
This new development wouldn’t have anything to do with how I’m supposed to bring peace to this totally fucked up empire, would it?
BINGO WAS HER NAME-O.
“Shit.” She finished her beer and slammed the empty bottle on the cushion next to her.
Jesus eyed her closely. “Was it Dad? Is He talking to you?”
“Oh yeah,” Jessica replied. “That son of a bitch just told me how to bring peace to the United States.”
The room went silent except for the sound from the television, where Santa drove a BMW along a winding road on the edge of a canyon while blasting dubstep.
Destinee muted it. “Shouldn’t that be good news, baby?”
“It should.”
“Then … why do you look so sick?”
“Because,” said Jessica, “no one’s going to like it, and it will probably get me murdered.”
… AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
* * *
END OF BOOK 6
Author’s Note
Phew! What a long book, right?
But I’d like to think it accomplished some stuff, story wise.
First and foremost, you know who the Devil is. You probably already knew or strongly suspected, maybe even since book 1. Here’s a secret: I kinda meant for that to happen. The point was never to make it a whodunit, or, as it were, a whodamnit. The aim was to make it fairly obvious right away and then sow the seeds of doubt here and there. And to provide you a textbook display of gaslighting that made you want to shake Jessica a little bit at the end, huh?
When we get to play the observer, it all seems so obvious. But when we’re in it, being exposed to the love bombs and shame spears, it can get a little murky.
I’m fascinated by psychopaths. They hold the same morbid appeal as black holes, because that’s what they are. Black holes in human form.
I always thought the cartoonish idea of the Devil being this menace who makes no bones about doing horrible shit made zero sense. No one wants to hang around that guy. What’s the appeal? It’s like, “Uh, no thanks, Evil. You a hot mess.”
Another thing you now know is the general direction book seven is heading in. The plan is to make it the last of the series, but there’s really no telling. For instance, I planned on making this entire series one book back in the day. I wrote to the midpoint of book 2, thinking it was still part of book 1 and then realized that a) it would be years before I had a finished book to sell, b) there were actually many smaller story arcs in Jessica’s life that each deserved their own book, and c) who in the hell would buy a 3,000 page book by an unknown author that was priced at like $19.99?
Always one for a good and layered pun, I’ve thought about calling the next book Transubstantiation, but I won’t. It’s about 50/50 whether the transgender community would love it or come after me with pitchforks, and I’m not willing to roll the dice on it. I honestly can’t say which way it would go. I could probably ask around, but then I’d have to set up the joke for each person, and that would be spoilers galore. Not worth it. Also, I have #NoH8 for and no desire to belittle in any way those who put the T in that acronym I always get out of order.
But isn’t it a nice little pun? And just imagine I did publish it under that title and it did cause great offense. I would have found a way, possibly for the first time in history, to upset both the trans community and the Vatican in a single blow. (Because I’m sure Pope Francis has been following this series closely.) That in and of itself seems like it would belong on my satirist CV.
And yet, I won’t do it. Instead I’m going to show this thing called “restraint” and will only mention it in this here author note for those who are already so deeply complicit in supporting this series that if I go down you go down too, mofos.
Jessica and I have a lot of work ahead of us for the next in this series, so I’d better get to it.
* * *
See you at the end of book 7,
Claire, 11/28/18
About the Author
H. CLAIRE TAYLOR has lived in Austin since the eighties (it's her hometown) and hasn't yet found a compelling reason to move away.
After being a Very Good Student™ of creative writing at Texas State University, she worked an assortment of unfulfilling jobs until her inner tortured artist could recover from four soul-crushing years of academia, at which point she held her nose and jumped into the muddy waters of writing comedy full time.
Now she shares a home with her husband and two black-and-white mutts and suffers from an unhealthy dependency on Post-It Notes that she can quit whenever she wants. Really.
Casually stalk her:
www.hclairetaylor.com
contact@hclairetaylor.com
Also by H. Claire Taylor
The Jessica Christ Series
The Beginning (Book 1)
And It Was Good (Book 2)
It’s a Miracle! (Book 3)
Nu Alpha Omega (Book 4)
It is Risen (Book 5)
* * *
Kilhaven Police (w/Brock Bloodworth)
Shift Work (Book 1)
Same Old Shift (Book 2)
* * *
Wimbledon, Kentucky
A Single’s Guide to Texas Roadways
* * *
See all at www.hclairetaylor.com
Find more funny books at www.ffs.media