There it was. She thought she ruined my night, that I would rather be somewhere else on my first night of being ungrounded. I stared at her for a long moment, my hands gripping the paper towels as if they would keep me from doing something really stupid. Then my gaze rested on her arm. Trent’s fingers had made a perfect purple band of bruising around it. That was all it took for me to snap.
In one fluid motion, I stood, dropping the towels to the floor before leaving the room. The door slammed behind me as I fled down the hall. I had no idea where I was going, but I couldn’t let her witness me snapping. I was an ass. I left her there, on what looked like the verge of tears, only because I couldn’t get a handle on my temper. She deserved better, so much better than me.
Chapter Nineteen
Ava
The door opened, Cade coming through, which earned a groan from me. My temper had brewed the entire time he was gone. It wasn’t difficult to continue painting as if he wasn’t there, even when he moved to my side and squatted next to me. The hand he placed on my leg put his freshly split knuckles in my line of sight.
Continuing to ignore him was impossible. I grabbed his hand, gasping. “Cade, what the hell?” The shame in his gaze made my stomach clench. “Did you go after him or something?”
“No.” He jerked back as if he were shocked I would think such a thing. But I didn’t understand his temper, or what he might do when it got out of control. I wanted him to tell me, to confide in me. Taking his hand back, he shoved it through his hair. “Can we just get this done and get out of here?”
This earned an exasperated look from me. How dare he? Demanding that I set aside my responsibilities to atone for his irrational temper. It wasn’t as if I asked him to come, nor asked for his help. The fact he saw me and my task as an inconvenience infuriated me.
He had no right to stomp around and throw hissy fits, then get mad at me. It was a miracle he had shown up because Trent was a psycho, but his attitude only made things worse. As if Trent storming in only ten minutes before he showed up hadn’t been plenty to deal with. He had shouted about how I had caused the crap going on in his life, the drop in his grades and popularity, and the bruises on his face, before grabbing me hard enough to bruise me.
I didn’t need it after the day I had gone through with people still staring, still asking questions, still mad at me for the stupid fight he caused. The weekend had even been a disaster since all I wanted to do was stay holed up in my room, but I had piles of homework, and prom planning, and dance rehearsal. I didn’t need any of it!
Cade stared at me, waiting for an answer, and quite frankly, I didn’t give a shit. “Whatever.” I shrugged and got back to work.
He released a heavy sigh, but again, I didn’t care. Only an hour before I had been so excited to see him, but now, I couldn’t care less if he was there. My props needed to be done so I could get home.
With his hand back on my leg, he said, “Ava, I’m sorry.”
I gave him and his hand a hard glare. “That’s great, Cade. I really need to get this done, though.”
Eyes shifting back and forth, he studied me, and I stared right back with the least amount of emotion as possible. Him being sorry didn’t make me instantly feel better about anything. His fingers gripped my leg, and my traitorous body tingled with delight, which caused me to glare harder. Jeez, I needed to get my emotions under control.
Gaze pleading with mine, he asked, “Could it maybe wait until tomorrow? I’d like to take you somewhere.”
After running my hands through my hair, I shoved to my feet. He stared at me for a long second before getting up too. If he had thought I was about to agree, he was dead wrong.
“It can’t wait.” My tone flat, I shook my head.
His brow creased, hands clenching at his sides, the angry beast returning. “I’ll help you get it done tomorrow, I promise. I’m only asking for a couple hours tonight.”
With my eyes clenched shut, I took a deep breath before opening them again. “I don’t have a couple hours, Cade,” I said through gritted teeth, watching the little muscle twitch in his jaw. Obviously, he still had some anger going on, but it wasn’t my problem. “I’m already behind schedule because of the time I took off for my car. I don’t have a couple hours to spare. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not this weekend. The concert is next weekend. I have to get these done tonight, so the girls are able to work with them tomorrow.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he snapped, making me flinch. “You have to be able to spare a couple hours. It isn’t as if people are going to die if you take some time to cool off and get away from this shit.” With an enraged look, he threw his arms out to encompass the room.
“I said no, Cade,” I retorted. “I don’t consider any of the stuff I have to do as ‘shit,’ by the way. I actually care about all of it. It might take up a lot of my time, but I love it.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair again, pulling on it. “This has been the shittiest week ever. Having my car trashed and putting up with all the gossip and stares from that and the fight I wasn’t even a part of has worn me out. I’m tired of all of it, and I just want to get my stuff done, okay?”
His eyes were wide with anger and maybe disbelief, but whatev. He was making me feel terrible for doing the things I loved to do. It wasn’t fair. “I’m only asking for a couple hours, Ava,” he growled. “I’m sorry about everything you’ve put up with, about the stupid fight, but that’s why I’m asking you to take a break. To get away from it for a little while.”
“I don’t have a couple hours, and I don’t want to get away from this. I keep saying it over and over, but you aren’t listening.” With my hands held out, I bared my teeth, wanting to shake him until he listened.
“I told you at the very beginning of whatever this is—” I waved a hand between us “—that nothing has changed and nothing will change. I will always be busy. I will always have a full schedule. But I don’t see it as the horrible thing you and everyone else sees it as. I love everything I’m doing, even with all the stress, because I’m good at it. And I especially love it right now because it’s helping me keep my mind off the crap happening around me. Even when we graduate and college starts, I’ll probably be just as busy then too because I. Like. It. Besides, the college I’m going to—”
“So you always want it to be this way?” he interrupted, his brow scrunched up again. My shoulders sagged. He wouldn’t listen. “You always want to be so busy and so stressed you don’t have any time for your family or friends or, most importantly, yourself?”
“I have time for my friends and family. Just because I can’t do things on a whim doesn’t mean I don’t have time for them.”
“I don’t get this,” he shouted, making me jump. With a loud groan, he rubbed his hands over his face. “I thought showing you what you’re missing when you keep your schedule so full would help, but it obviously didn’t.”
“That’s because I don’t think I’m missing out,” I ground out. I couldn’t believe he expected me to change so much. I wanted this so bad, for us to work, for him to like me, but I didn’t care at this point. Changing everything about myself to make him happy was not going to happen. “This isn’t going to work out, Cade.”
He jerked back, his face crumpling in pain and disbelief, but I didn’t feel bad, not when I was so angry.
“Whatever this is, which you’ve been extremely vague about labeling to begin with, would never work. I can’t be with someone, or whatever, who wants me to stop doing something I love.”
“I never asked you to stop.” He got in my face, our noses almost touching, but I lifted my chin and held my ground. “I only asked for you to stop investing everything you are into it. To realize the whole world doesn’t revolve around your clubs and groups and fucking schedules.”
With one step backward, then two, he shoved his hands through his hair. The anger couldn’t overshadow the pit growing in my stomach when I realized this was the end, the end of something I thought I
wanted so badly.
“You can use whatever excuse you need to rationalize not being with me, but don’t ever put words in my mouth.” Gaze morose, he shook his head. “I’ll see you around, Ava.”
In complete detachment, I watched him leave the room. The hole ripping through my chest had to be ignored, so I could get back to work. But only the first coat on the second platform was as far as I got before I gave up. Sure, I had just thrown my huge fit, telling him I had to get them done that night, but I couldn’t do it.
Maybe I shed a few tears. But they weren’t all for Cade. My emotional stress limit had already come and gone. The props could be finished later in the week.
Chapter Twenty
The rest of the week went by in a blur. I still had to drive my dad’s Jeep to school since the shop said it was going to take them longer than they thought it would to fix my car. It was terrible my dad didn’t have a car to drive, but he didn’t complain too much about it. He talked to the shop daily to get my car taken care of. My dad was the best.
My promise to myself to spend more time with my friends was broken. It was mostly because I was extremely busy with dance practice, prom stuff, and homework, but it was partly because I was avoiding Cade.
A part of me wanted to see him, but that part was stupid. I was hurting and felt as if I had lost something I was barely able to grasp. Being around him would only make the pain fresh and in my face. I resorted to getting out of my classes a little early because I didn’t want to run into him in the halls. Pathetic, I know.
Since he was basically fair game, there was a good chance Sydney would be hanging all over him, and I might have scratched her eyes out and kicked him in the nuts if I witnessed it. Still, I wondered how things were with his work. If he was still having problems with his dad. What he did during his free time. Why he hadn’t texted me once. Thinking about him made me want to beat my head against a brick wall. Nothing could shut it off. Immersing myself in school stuff was the only way to stay sane.
Not only were the people around me avoiding me because of my bitchy mood, but I was also getting daily emails from Kai, asking what was wrong with me. Apparently my parents were worried and venting to him about it, trying to get him to pull the information I wasn’t sharing from me.
They probably thought it had something to do with my car, and Kai even threatened to come home again, but I assured him that wasn’t the issue. I was just busy with school stuff, since the end of the year was right around the corner. Being a hermit was something I was totally okay with—everyone else just needed to get with the program.
Trent did schedule a meeting for Friday, but it was a joke. Everyone was 100 percent sold on the museum idea. A few were even insulted he would try changing it back after everything was almost ready and we were so close to prom. I left the meeting as quickly as possible that day, because he was pissy and I didn’t want to be stranded alone with him again.
On Saturday, I had dance practice with my group and the advanced and intermediate groups, even though we did lunch practices all week. The concert was close, so I went to all the practices, even if they weren’t for my group. Even Ms. Keller came to them to make sure we were ready, but at least she looked pleased. That made me proud, especially of Kelsey, who appeared to have listened to me, since her dance was rocking.
Since I hadn’t had time to finish my props over the week, I asked Kelsey if she could meet me at the school on Sunday to help me with them. We had come to a point where we could maybe be friends, if only I could not be a bitch for the short time we had to spend together.
I got to the school that evening, a little later than we planned for since I got held up with some of the prom planning committee at the museum. I parked next to her car when I got there, feeling bad I had kept her waiting.
The rest of the lot was completely empty, which comforted me. I didn’t want another crazy encounter with Trent or anyone else. The sky was dark with clouds, and a slight drizzle came down as I got out of my car. She was still sitting in hers but got out right when I did. Her giant smile was difficult to return. Being off-balance was the worst. Missing Cade every day seemed to be the cause of it.
“Sorry I’m late.” I gave her a small wave.
“It’s okay.” She shrugged when we started toward the theatre department. “I was just jammin’ out to some Lady Gaga.”
“Cool.” I nodded. “Thanks for doing this. I’ve gotten really behind.”
“Totally! There aren’t any good parties on Sundays anyway.” She made a big show of giggling and flipping her long hair over her shoulder.
I still wanted to know how she kept it from frizzing and curling in the perspiration. Maybe she got something special done at the salon. It was probably super expensive. She laughed again, and I cringed because I wasn’t paying attention, so I laughed too, hoping it was the right reaction.
I was glad we were getting along, that she wasn’t still pissed at me, but I didn’t see us being besties anytime soon with how chatty she was. “My parents are letting me use the house to have a party after the concert. You should totally come,” she told me.
The thought made me wince, but I tried to hide it. I wasn’t so much the partying type, but I couldn’t help wondering if Cade would go—if he was into that kind of thing. Maybe he would be there with another girl. Why hadn’t he called or texted me? I mean, I was still mad, but I would have thought he would text me. He must have given up on me completely.
Kelsey gripped my arm right when we came to the door of the prop room, pulling me out of my thoughts. Her gaze was full of concern.
Damn, had I stopped listening again?
“You okay?” she asked, tilting her head with a sad smile. Ugh, pity. “You seem a little distracted.”
“Yeah, I just have a lot going on.” I tried to shrug it off.
“I bet you do,” she exclaimed with a smile. God, she was exuberant. “And with that sexy Cade keeping you busy all the time. I bet you don’t have a minute for anything else.”
I did one of those “a haha, yeah,” things with what I hoped was a smile and not a grimace. It stung, having someone talk about him, saying his name out loud. Even Rabia avoided bringing him up, even though I hadn’t told her about what happened. She seemed to have that bestie sixth sense, which made me love her oh so much. The smile seemed to work though, since Kelsey laughed, giving my arm a pat then went off on a tangent about some guy named Travis she liked.
I let her keep talking while I opened the door to the prop room. All the blood drained from my face, and Kelsey’s jabbering ceased the instant she saw what I was seeing. “Oh, my God,” she breathed, stepping further into the room. I, on the other hand, couldn’t get my feet to move. “Aren’t those your props?” She glanced at me over her shoulder, eyes popping out.
Absently, I nodded. My heart pounded, my hands shook, and it took all my concentration to not collapsing. My awesome platforms were nothing more than blood-red splinters and shattered mirrors, scattered amongst the other props. It looked as if someone had gone at them with a bat or maybe even a wood chipper. I didn’t know what to do or think. It was like my car all over again. Someone violating something that was mine, something important to me. It wasn’t as if any of the other props in the room were destroyed. Only mine.
Kelsey moved further into the room, her shoes crunching on the broken glass. When she reached the largest pile of scraps, where my props had stood in one piece only a few days earlier, she turned to look at me again.
“Who would do something like this?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper. Her eyes were wide with fear, as if the person who did it was still in the room with us.
A chill ran down my spine when I considered that, but I shook my head in response. I had no idea who did it, if it was the same person who trashed my car or someone else entirely. I still couldn’t move, couldn’t find my voice. All my work, destroyed. Now my dance would look like a joke without any props. There was no way more could be made in
time for the concert. I was screwed.
“Shouldn’t we call the cops or something?”
My head snapped in her direction, the question pulling me out of my trance. The cops. More questions, more worry, and for nothing. It wasn’t as if they had any leads on whoever spray-painted my car. What would they be able to do about this? Nothing.
If the cops found out, Pierce would get involved, which would lead to my parents or even Kai finding out. My parents would probably pull me out of school, or something way too drastic. Then Kai would come home, stomping around as if he could find the person and bring them to justice all on his own. No. I couldn’t let that happen. When I shook my head again, she gave me an incredulous look.
“Ava, we need to call someone.” She looked even more scared now, like she was afraid for my sanity on top of everything else.
“No,” I snapped at her, finally getting my feet to work, moving further into the room. “I’ll clean this up and figure something else out for my dance. We don’t need to call anyone.”
“Are you serious?” she demanded, looking at me like I was batshit crazy when I walked past her to get to the closet on the other side of the room, which I probably was, but whatev. “You can’t pretend this didn’t happen. Someone obviously did this to get at you.”
With a broom from the closet, I started sweeping up the debris. With how much was scattered around the room, it would take a while, but it had to be done. “I’m not pretending it didn’t happen,” I told her while she continued watching me with worried eyes. “I’m just not letting it ruin anything for me. I don’t need a bunch of people worrying, and I especially don’t need even more gossip going around the school about me.”
I gazed at her when she crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips. She wasn’t happy with my decision, but I wasn’t going to change my mind. “I can’t believe you’re not pissed about this. That you don’t want to find out who did it and ruin them.”
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