My mom looked worn, her eyelids puffy and swollen—all the crying was probably what knocked her out. I remembered her crying, her heart-wrenching sobs as she spoke to the police. I couldn’t hear anything they said—was too woozy from the drugs to know what was going on—but her crying was stuck in my mind.
While I sat there, I steered my thoughts away from the horrible night and thought about Cade instead. I wondered where he was. I knew they weren’t letting anyone but immediate family in, but I wondered if he was at the hospital.
I wanted to see him, to talk to him, but I wasn’t sure I could handle the serious talk coming with how much my head and throat hurt. They told me I had six stitches on the side of my head, accompanied by a bald spot, where Trent had apparently hit me with a bat. Who knew the guy was such a psycho? I had a lot of bruising around my throat and face, including a fat lip. I could survive. I would survive. I only wanted to know what happened and what was going to happen next. Keep moving forward, instead of being terrified of the past—but I was terrified, no doubt about it.
A nurse came in to check on me and tell me they’d be moving me to a regular room soon, waking Mom up in the process. When the nurse left, she fussed over me, but didn’t tell me anything, and I couldn’t ask because talking hurt too much. She sat in the chair next to my bed, and it seemed as though she was finally about to give me some info, when my dad came back in, followed by a huge, muscly guy with dark, buzzed hair and calm gray eyes zeroing in on me.
“Kai,” I croaked, and Mom gasped at the same time.
My heart stopped when Dad moved over to Mom, and Kai came straight for me. His movements were stiff as he crouched next to me, gripping my hand. It was surreal. It had been so, so long, and I was finally getting to see him but under the worst circumstances. I didn’t want him to see me like this.
I didn’t realize I was crying until he reached up and wiped one of my tears away. His lips remained a thin line while we sat there in our moment. While he studied every one of my injuries, his eyes became more and more sad. He seemed so hard—nothing like my smiling, always cracking jokes, brother.
“You look a little rough, A,” he finally spoke, his voice uneven.
The sound of his voice and asshole remark made me smile. A witty retort was on the tip of my tongue, but the moment seemed too fragile to joke yet.
That’s when Dad got up, clearing his throat. “Do you want anything?” he asked us. “I’m going to go force-feed your mom.”
I only shook my head as Mom came around the bed, giving Kai a long hug, weeping a little. They both gave me a quick kiss before heading for the door. This was when I realized someone was missing.
“Where’s Mia?” I croaked, panic gripping me with Trent’s last words playing through my mind. How could I overlook my twin not being in the room with us?
They all shared a look before Kai nodded at Dad. “I’ll tell her. You two go eat.”
They left, and he told me everything they knew. It was horrible. So very horrible. The bitter taste of guilt made me want to vomit. My sister was gone. No one knew where she was, which was the reason why Trent had attacked me. No wonder Mom was such a wreck. One of her daughters was missing, and the other was in a hospital bed. Kai held my hand while he too voiced his guilt. I was sure we all felt it. We should have paid more attention. Should have confronted her. So many should haves, but it was too late.
He fell silent after telling me about the whole drug thing. I had so many questions. I couldn’t believe what Mia had gotten caught up in. It made me hate that dickweed, Kenny, so much. I wished him a slow, painful death. Weirdly, I was proud of Mia for trying to get away from him, and I prayed she was okay, wherever she was.
After a few silent minutes, he cleared his throat. “So I met your boyfriend.” He smirked when my eyes grew wide. “I can’t hate him too much because, you know, he saved my baby sister’s life.”
“He’s here?” I whispered, my heart skipping a million beats.
“Demanding to see you, actually.” He chuckled. “They said he could when they move you, but he’s still insisting.”
I nodded, content with this information. It wasn’t as if I could force them to let him in, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him yet. After that, Kai did all the talking because, well, I couldn’t. He talked about easier stuff, telling me he got a whole month of leave for a family emergency, so he would be there for graduation. Then, he joked saying I didn’t need to get beat up just to get him to come home. It was great, having him there. I never wanted him to go back. I was still scared but trying to hide it. There was so much hurt—my heart wept for Mia, wondering where she could be, if she was okay. Graduation was right around the corner, would she even make it to that? But Kai was there, which made it all seem easier to grasp.
Mom and Dad came back, followed by a nurse who was going to move me. The process seemed to take forever, but they got me settled in and my family excused themselves to let Cade come in. My stomach was in a million knots by the time he stepped through the door. He’d obviously gone home since he was back in his regular jeans and a T-shirt. He stood at the door for a long minute, eyes resting on each of my injuries, his jaw becoming tighter and tighter, exactly as Kai had done. I was afraid his teeth might break or something.
He finally came to the side of my bed, saying, “Hey.” It was easy, and the sound of his voice danced over my entire body. I wanted this so bad, wanted it with every fiber of my being.
“Hey,” I croaked back, making him cringe, but he recovered, brushing light fingers over my uninjured cheek.
“They said they’re letting you out tomorrow, so long as you’re on your best behavior.” This made me smile. God, I loved him. My smile fell. “Hey, no sad eyes. Trent is getting what he deserves… kind of. They’ll find Mia, and your big, pretty frightening brother is here—everything will be all right.”
“It’s not that.” I shook my head, resisting the urge to pinch my bottom lip since it was puffy and sore. “I’m in love with you, Cade.” I put it out there all casual-like, and his mouth audibly popped open. I held a hand up to keep him from saying anything. “But I have to go to Tennessee. I was leaning toward staying, I really was, but then you got the internship and all this happened. I don’t want to stay here.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks, and he leaned forward to wipe them away—something I apparently couldn’t do for myself. “Hey… hey…” Fingers laced with mine, he gripped my hands. “We don’t have to end this. We can figure something out.”
“How?” I asked, desperate. If there was a way, I might be on board, but nothing came to mind. Everything seemed hopeless in my screwed-up life. “I’ll be in college for at least four years, probably more like eight. And you have your internship starting. I don’t see it working when we’ll be so far from each other.” I swallowed hard to get the dread down while his tortured gaze remained on me. “I don’t think it’s smart to draw this out. You’re leaving right after graduation, and I’m leaving shortly after to get settled in and maybe do some summer classes. I can’t handle more right now. I need to figure things out for myself and my family.”
His jaw tightened, eyes full of anger and sorrow. Hands gripping mine harder, he leaned forward. “This whole situation is shitty, and yes, we’re both moving on to be adults after school, but I will not give up on you. Not now, probably not ever. I love you too, Ava. That’s not something I’m willing to give up.”
The tears kept coming. The onslaught of emotion mixed with everything else was too much. Looking away from him, I tugged my hands from his, wrapping my arms around my middle.
He stood. “You need to heal from a lot, and I want to be here for you. I’m not going anywhere. You can think over it, mull it over. I’m. Still. Not. Going. I am not giving up on us.” He kissed my forehead, lingering there. I wanted to lean into him, wanted to give in and love him with everything I had, but it would only hurt more in the end.
He left the room, taking my heart an
d soul with him. I didn’t know what to do with that. The physical and emotional pain were too much, so I caved and asked the nurse for more pain meds, hoping they would help, but they didn’t.
Later in the day, Rabia and Mason came to see me, both of them looking horrified. Rabia wept the entire time, but Mase kept cracking cheesy jokes, making me smile. I loved my friends so much, but I didn’t want the company, so I faked being tired and they left after giving me gentle hugs. I was glad when they sent Kai back in, who sat in the chair next to my bed, holding my hand while I drifted off.
They let me out Monday night, and I was determined to get back to school the next day. I didn’t care about the bruises, or if I’d look weird wearing a scarf constantly. I would get to graduation unscathed. Even though Mom and Dad didn’t want me to go back. They even talked about finding a way for me to finish out the year at home.
It made sense that they were terrified about everything that happened, but it didn’t keep me from begging and pleading. They were especially nervous about the FBI watching our house in case Mia showed back up, which led Dad to believe the drug people were probably watching us too. It was a scary thought, but it didn’t mean I should stay cooped up for my last two weeks of school. It was Kai who finally convinced them I’d be okay, especially with Pierce working the case.
It wasn’t easy, not even a little. The stares, the questions, the accusations were a constant burden I shared with no one. I kept to myself, kept my head down and didn’t talk to anyone. Not even my bestie. It may have been a mistake, but I couldn’t handle it, not with how exhausted I was—my sleep riddled with nightmares of Mia, of Trent, of never-ending blackness. All my strength was gone.
I got to my classes on time, ate lunch by myself, then went home. No matter how many texts or calls I got from Cade, I ignored them. Hurting him and myself was the worst, but I couldn’t see a future for us. My main goal was to make it through graduation; then I would be on my way to Tennessee. The best solution to all my problems. Run and run far. The coward’s motto.
My parents had everything settled financially. I was signed up for a summer class. When they talked about me moving in to a dorm, I told them I wanted space. They were so worried about me—I knew they would do anything for me, so I started looking for people in need of a roommate. I found someone on Craigslist who was looking for a roommate and made the call.
A girl named Kate answered and dove right in to the details as soon as I stated my purpose for calling. She was a year ahead of me and spoke with a killer twang, as if she were a native of Tennessee. She declared I was saving her life as she was in desperate need of a roommate. So long as I was clean and paid my share of the rent each month, she said we’d be fine.
Dad spoke to her a few times, ironing out a rent agreement, which put him at ease. He and Mom would cover my rent until I was able to land a job. She was okay with me moving in a week after I graduated and was registered for some summer classes as well.
I also made sure she was okay with Kai crashing on the couch for one night, since he would be staying long enough to help me move, and then he would leave from Tennessee. With my living arrangements settled, my parents seemed more at ease that I chose an apartment over a dorm.
While anticipating the end of my high school career, Kai was the brightest point of most of my days. Though getting to hang out with him was the best, Mia was a constant shadow in every room of the house. Pierce stopped by often to hang out with Kai and give updates on their search for her. I constantly wished for that deep twin sense some identical twins had so I could at least know she was okay.
Sometimes Kai would go hang out with Pierce at bars or something, and often came home smelling like an ashtray, making me wish he would find another place to spend time with his friend, but I kept my mouth shut. He only had so much time to spend with his oldest friend.
Our parents were always home, since Mom closed the gallery down temporarily, and Dad took a leave from the firm, but they weren’t really there. When they weren’t doing everything they could to find Mia, Mom dedicated herself to making sure I had everything I needed for college. Dad consumed himself with the case against Trent, in order to make sure he didn’t get off easy. I knew I would have to testify and was willing to, but I hoped it would take a long time for them to settle on a court date.
On Monday, three days before graduation, I sat on the couch with Kai after school, watching him play video games. My phone kept buzzing, buzzing, buzzing on the table next to me, but I ignored it. I thought about turning it off, but a part of me hoped Mia would call or text, which didn’t happen. I was used to the buzzing by now, the constant texts from not only Cade, but Rabia and Mason too, but apparently, Kai wasn’t. He kept shooting irritated sideways glances my way while I studied for my finals.
He made an impatient noise, pausing his game. “You know, they’re not gonna stop.” He nodded toward my phone with his eyebrows scrunched together. “You’re kind of being a shitty friend, acting the way you are.”
My mouth popped open, my eyes growing wide. I knew I was being a shitty friend, but I didn’t need my brother pointing it out. “It’s none of your business, Kai,” I snapped.
“Isn’t it?” he demanded. “I’m your brother. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, even buried some close friends who had to be in the field when I didn’t. It hurts like hell. You, your friends are here trying to be here for you, and you’re brushing them off as if they mean nothing.” He shook his head. “It’s not right, Ava. Don’t waste your last days here ignoring them. You’ll regret it. And if you really love this Cade kid, don’t let that go. Long distance can work—I’ve seen it. Seen men stay faithful from thousands of miles away because they’re head over heels for their girls.”
I could only stare when he rubbed a hand over his neck, before shooting up from the couch and bounding up the stairs. I felt terrible. Sick to my stomach. He never talked about the bad stuff he went through, and I never asked. I didn’t know he lost friends who had to go into battle, especially since his job kept him mostly safe. The urge to follow him was prominent, but I didn’t think he would want to talk. Though he was right. I was being an idiot—wasting my final days of high school ignoring the people who’ve always been there for me and wallowing. I grabbed my phone and delved into the texts.
All of Rabia’s went on about how much they all loved and missed me, and how she hoped I was okay. It appeared she texted me everyday only to tell me she loved me. Man, I was a douche. Mason’s were hilarious jokes that had me shaking with laughter. Cade’s came last, since they were the hardest. The first ones were of him saying he missed me, not only his girlfriend but his best friend. He wasn’t giving up on me, no matter what. Then there was this one last text.
I miss you so damn much.
This morning, Darrel told
me he wants to re-marry
my mom. I don’t know
what to think or how to
feel about it, and I wish I
had you here with me to
talk it out. You would tell
me what I need to hear,
and I would know what to
say to him. I need you, Ava.
I love you.
My breath came in short rasps while I read through it like six times. Again, I felt like a douche. He had been going through this, and I hadn’t been there for him—my heart wrenched for him. Kai was right. If I really did love Cade and he loved me, we could figure something out. I’d been such an idiot. Wasted so much time. I only hoped it wasn’t too late.
Not caring I was in sweats, I jumped up from the couch, grabbing my keys. Right when I dashed for the door, my parents came through it. They both had dark circles under their eyes, their eyes constantly bloodshot—everything going on was dragging them down. I almost changed my mind about leaving, but they both raised their eyebrows at me, smirks tugging at their lips.
“Going somewhere?” Dad inquired, giving my mom a look.
“Yeah, I
won’t be long though,” I assured them, afraid they wouldn’t let me go out.
But they shared another weird look, then smiled at me. “Good.” Mom gripped my shoulders, and my eyebrows shot up in question. “We were just going to have an intervention regarding your solitude. You have fun tonight.”
She pecked me on the cheek. Then Dad kissed and hugged me goodnight. They were hurting, but they were still trying to be the best parents they could be. I loved them so much. I only hesitated for a second, thinking I should go up and talk to Kai before I left, but I figured me fixing things with my friends would speak louder than words. Opening the door, I went to dash down the stairs but stopped dead in my tracks.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Cade
My heart stopped the second she walked out the door. I hoped this wasn’t a huge mistake. Rabia, Mason, and I stood there in front of my car. Rabia had a huge bundle of colorful balloons, Mason, a giant chocolate cake, and me, the biggest bouquet of daisies I could find.
She was freaking adorable in her sweats. The need to go to her, to kiss her was overwhelming. I missed her smell, her touch, her skin, everything about her. But I stood my ground. With everything going on, I wasn’t sure if she would still want me that way. Her sister was gone, she was hurt—she needed people to lean on. So I was strictly there to be her friend.
Watching her around school, keeping an eye on her, I noticed her bruises fading and the color coming back to her face. I still wanted to kill Trent for hurting her, but I knew her dad was doing everything he could to make him pay.
The unsure look she wore as she approached us made me want to reassure her, but I ached from the efforts of keeping myself from touching her. Wringing her hands together, she said, “Umm, you guys do realize my birthday was like four months ago, riiiight?”
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