“But logically speaking,” Copernicus carefully pointed out, “I think you’ll find the odds are perhaps maybe less great of you dying eating breakfast or taking a bath than if you walk unprotected into a forest swarming with angry murderers.”
“Copernicus,” she said firmly, “My mind is made up. But thank you or your concern.”
He shook his head disbelievingly. “May I just reiterate that you two are going to die?”
“You certainly may.”
“You two are going to die.”
Yet another uncomfortable silence descended. They all looked around at their surroundings. Houses were few and far between now, and the trees were beginning to get thicker. Not much was going on because it was the middle of the night. An owl flew by close overhead. A deer trotted out from the forest edge and gave them a blank stare. A trio of bandits hiding behind a fallen tree readied themselves to spring to the attack, only to change their minds when the moonlight shone on the symbol painted on the side of the wagon: an orange star inside an orange circle28.
Julianna heard a rustling from a nearby fallen tree and looked over at it but saw nothing. “Hey, Copernicus,” she said. An idea had just occurred to her.
“Yeah?”
“Could Warren and I crash at your mom’s place tomorrow? That is, if it isn’t too far? I need to make sure I have some shelter before sunrise.”
“Uh, sure. But it’s kinda out of your way.”
“I’m okay with that as long as she’s got some place where no sunlight can reach me through the day.”
Copernicus nodded. He knew what she was talking about because, like most citizens of Fritillary, he knew about her curse. “Ma does have a root cellar that’s good and dark.”
“That’d be perfect,” Julianna said, feeling a lot more at ease now that she had a safe place on the horizon, and wouldn’t have to spend the day huddled under the thick blanket she had packed in her bag. “So how far is she from here?”
“Fourish hours.”
Julianna decided that this fourish hours was a perfect amount time to drill a genuine citizen about his ideas about how the country was being run, what was being done well, what was being done badly, etc. Copernicus grudgingly answered her questions, but Warren stayed out of the conversation because he was too busy worrying. Of course he was worried about Corrine, but now, in addition to that, he was also worried that Julianna was going to be spending the entirety of the coming day trapped in a root cellar at the home of the mother of a man who had, until a few hours earlier, been a member of the criminal element. What if Copernicus reverted to his old ways once he had been given a bit of time to think things through? Copernicus could very easily decide that taking Julianna for ransom was worth the risk after all. Being a criminal for his whole life, Copernicus’s mind had to be pretty good at rationalizing the taking of stupid risks.
Meanwhile back at the cave, Corrine was busy pretending to be unconscious. Farland had initially tied her up and left her at the back of the cave, then gone to do some plotting with Mirabella. But Corrine had kept cutting in and asking questions and generally driving them crazy with all the interruptions. So, Farland had taken some sleeping potion out of his pack and tried his hardest to force her to swallow it; Corrine had pretended to drink it and pass out, but as soon as Farland had walked off she had spat out the majority of the potion onto the floor of the cave. A bit of it had made it down her throat, though, so she did genuinely lose consciousness for a bit, but after only about a half hour she was awake again, and intently eavesdropping on their plans.
Mirabella was saying, “So once we kidnap the Prince from his hunting party, we’ll bring him back here, and I just watch the brat until you’ve found more permanent accommodations for him.”
“Yep.”
“The closer this plan comes to completion, the more annoyed I get about the fact that I’m going to have a child living here with me.”
“I promise it won’t be too bad,” Farland responded. “It won’t take me long to find a new place. There are some nice remote rental properties along the south shore. And as soon as I’ve found a good, solid fortress, I’ll just pop back over here and take him with me. Then I’ll get on with the brainwashing and the turning him against his family.”
“Good. The sooner the better. How am I supposed to entertain a child? Even when I was a child, I found children irritating.”
“Crafts, songs, puzzles, board games...” Farland suggested.
“More like B-O-R-E-D games,” Mirabella muttered. “And there’s no way I’m singing. I guess I could do some crafts with him…teach him to make paper or something.”
Farland added, “And if he gets too annoying, we can always keep him knocked out with a spell like with this chick.”
“Now that sounds like a good plan.”
They continued to blather on about their plan for a while.
Corrine listened with horror. So this was the other plan that Farland was cooking up on his stovetop of revenge. He was going to kidnap Julianna’s brother and brainwash him. Brainwash the future King. Corrine began to try to think of a way she might be able to escape and alert someone about this plot. But she was all tied up. Literally.
“It’s going to be so nice to be the Royal Wizard again,” Farland said with a sigh. “I wonder if my old evil lair is still as I left it.”
“You make sure that once the Prince gives you back your position, you don’t get so wrapped up with all your plans that you forget to un-banish me,” Mirabella huffed. “I’ve spent more than enough of my life in this cave.”
“Oh, fear not, Mirabella,” Farland reassured her. “Getting you un-banished will be my first order of business.” And he meant it. He was still crushing on her pretty severely and was hoping that she’d be so grateful to him for getting her out of the Forest of Looming Death that she might consent to go on a date with him. He gazed at her sappily and gave a sigh.
Mirabella saw, and narrowed her eyes. She had a good idea of what he was thinking and had no intention of playing along; if getting out of the Forest was in any way contingent on going along with his silly infatuation with her, she would sooner live the rest of her life in the cave.
“Okay, so that’s that for that plan,” she said briskly. “What about the other one? The one with that boy. And more precisely, when is this girl going to be out of my cave?”
Farland sighed and said, “I don’t know. I was hoping to get to that after the Prince thing since that’s the time-sensitive one. This one with the Princess’s curse can technically wait if you can put up with the girl lying around here for a few more days.”
“I guess I can wait,” Mirabella growled. “It’s just all the potty breaks. They’re so time-consuming, and they require more logistical planning than you’d think.”
“Just remind her how many murderers are roaming these woods. She’d be a moron to run away.”
Listening in the shadows, Corrine had to agree he had a point. But then again, she’d also be a moron to stay in the cave. Which meant what? She had no clue. What that boiled down to was that she had to do some pretty intense brainstorming now because, if she was going to listen to the promptings of her conscience, she had to get out of this cave, and get word to someone about the fact that the Prince was in danger.
* * *
28This symbol, which I had better explain to you since it keeps showing up in this tale, was the mark of the loose collective of smugglers and thieves and such that had formed as an outshoot of the general group of citizens who were resisting the Crown in one way or another. In early days, the symbol had been just an orange star, and it had been used mainly by rebel-type people who were against things like witch burning, excessive taxation, oppression, and soldiers breaking into homes at all hours of the day and night and taking whatever they fancied. The symbol just as an orange star with no circle still was used b
y those strait-laced types (for instance, the orange star on the key that Warren’s mom had found at Jane’s house, or the orange star on the box that Julianna had stolen from Mortimer). But then the more radicalized and increasingly violent offshoot had arisen and split from the main group, so in order to cut down on confusion they had all agreed that the goody-goodies would keep the orange star, while the ones who liked their rebellion violent added the circle on to the symbol. Thus ended a bunch of awkward situations where, for instance, people seeing an orange star on a door showed up at what they thought was a meeting about nonviolent resistance only to find themselves instead sitting in on a planning session for blowing up a bridge and raiding a caravan that was shipping weapons for soldiers.
Chapter Thirty-two
Four-ish hours later, Copernicus, Julianna, and Warren pulled up in front of a little cottage on a hillside surrounded by pine trees. A dog that had been sleeping on the front porch heard the wagon and woke. It began to bark like crazy. Copernicus cried out happily, “Helio! I can’t believe he’s still alive!”
The dog ran up to the wagon and, as soon as it heard Copernicus say its name, its barks turned from fierce to jolly. Copernicus stopped the wagon and hopped down, kneeling in front of the dog and petting it while it slobbered all over his face in a way quite disgusting unless you are a dog person. Copernicus must have been a dog person.
The front door of the cottage opened, and an old lady hollered, “Who are you and what in the name of tarnation are you doing on my land in the middle of the night?”
“Ma!” said Copernicus, “It’s me!”
“It’s who?” she asked suspiciously. She had quite a few sons, and there were a handful of them who she would be less than thrilled to have pay her a visit in the middle of the night when she was home alone with nothing for protection but her kitchen knives and sassy retorts.
“Copernicus,” he clarified, as he stood and walked over to her with Helio trotting along at his side.
She gave a relieved sigh, and said, “Oh, good. I’d heard rumors your brother Martin was in the neighborhood. Thought you might be him.”
“Nope. Nor did I cross paths with him on the way here,” he said, and hugged her hello.
“Copper, dear. It’s been ages!” she exclaimed. “What have you been up to? Whatever it is, the pay’s been good.”
“Probably best if I don’t tell you,” he responded.
She nodded knowingly and gave him another hug29. He’d always been one of her favorites30.
When she had raised her sons, she had tried hard to steer them away from mining and logging because they were both such dangerous professions. But unfortunately, since the family was poor, they had had no access to good schools; the school they attended was horrible; the teachers were too busy keeping students from knifing each other, starting bonfires with the tables and chairs, and rolling cigars with the textbook papers to do too much actual educating. So, with no options or education, the unforeseen consequence of steering her sons away from logging and mining was that they all fell into crime instead. But, as she told herself when she began to question her parenting decisions, at least her sons were all alive, which was more than most peasant parents in her circumstances could say of their kids who had chosen more conventional, legal channels to obtain their daily asparagus.
Warren and Julianna walked up beside Copernicus then, and Copernicus said in response to his mom’s questioning look, “Ma, these are my friends, Warren and Jennifer. Warren and Jennifer, this is my Ma. Can they stay here for the day? They’ll leave at sunset.”
“Fine by me,” she said with a shrug as she surveyed them neutrally—until, that is, she caught sight of Warren’s banjo case. “What’s that you’ve got there?” she asked with interest.
“My banjo. You like music?” he asked enthusiastically.
“I sure do! Haven’t had any music since a dance at the community center a few months back.”
“I’ll play for you if you like,” Warren said.
“Looks like you’ve got a sling on that there arm, lad,” she pointed out.
“Oh, yeah, it’ll be okay. The doctor said I should do a bit of playing to keep the muscles all working right. High time I heeded her advice.”
Copernicus’s mom smiled, and said, “Come on in and let me get you all something to eat.”
The travelers hadn’t realized how hungry they were until she mentioned food. They walked into the little cottage and sat down at the table. As Copernicus’s mom bustled around by the fireplace at the wall opposite the door, Julianna looked around with interest at what must be a fairly good representation of an abode of a country-dwelling commoner. It was one room with a little bed, a table, a spinning wheel, some clothes drying on a line across the ceiling, and a few chairs. There were plants and hunks of meat hanging from the ceiling. The whole place was lit only by the fireplace.
Julianna didn’t know if she’d ever grow accustomed to observing the homes of poor people. She tried not to stare too blatantly, but when Copernicus’s mom slapped some stale grayish bread, floppy asparagus, and mugs of smelly tea in front of them, Julianna couldn’t control her gasp, or her look of shock.
“Well, Miss Citified Fancypants, if you don’t like my food, you don’t have to eat it,” Copernicus’s mom snapped.
Julianna cringed. “I’m sorry,” she said, not knowing how to explain herself.
“Jennifer worked at the inn near the castle, Ma,” Copernicus said. “The fanciest inn in the city. I’m sure she means no offence; she’s never been outside the city until today.”
Copernicus’s mom just gave her a glare and stalked over to the fire. It was obvious no amount of talking would make the situation better. Julianna met Warren’s eyes; he gave her a shrug and a half smile that somehow made her feel a little better.
Warren snapped open his banjo case and pulled it out, lovingly running his good hand along its strings before getting down to the business of tuning it.
Julianna fixed her eyes down on her plate, ate the stale bread and asparagus, and choked down the icky tea; she was very glad that shortly she would be excusing herself to go hide away in the root cellar. Hopefully the old lady wouldn’t get too inquisitive about why Julianna had to be down there.
Everyone was very glad when Warren cut the awkward mood by starting in on a rollicking folk tune.
By the time the sun rose, Julianna was tucked safely away underground, taking a nap amongst Copernicus’s mom’s carrots, turnips, squashes, cabbages, potatoes, and a few dozen jars of what the labels informed Julianna was some prize-winning spiced peach preserves.
Warren would have loved to be sleeping as well, but he felt like he had to keep an eye on Copernicus and keep him talking so that Copernicus didn’t change his mind about not kidnapping Julianna. So, Warren was helping Copernicus slop the hogs, who lived in a pen in the back yard behind a huge vegetable garden that was currently not producing too much because it was nearing winter. All that was growing was cauliflower and broccoli and kale and such—all those gross veggies that people only eat because of the antioxidants31.
“So, um, Copernicus,” Warren said carefully, eyeing his silent and thoughtful-looking companion. “Whatcha thinking about, buddy?” He winced at the word ‘buddy’ as soon as it was out of his mouth, but there was no helping it.
Copernicus wrinkled up his nose. “Buddy?”
“Er, sorry.”
“Look, don’t try to be my pal, okay? I don’t want to get involved in whatever you guys are up to. As far as I’m concerned, once Jennifer is out of that root cellar and you two are on your way, I don’t owe you anything else and I can get on with my life. Dig it?”
“Yeah, sure, I dig it.”
They slopped in silence for some time, then Copernicus said reluctantly, “You two really have no plan at all?” Try as he might, he just couldn’t stop being concerned about t
hem. “Please tell me you have some sort of plan and you just don’t want to tell me about it.”
“Nope. No plan.”
“And this is all to rescue your sister?”
“Yes.”
More silence.
“What’s she like?” Copernicus inquired.
Warren looked suspiciously at Copernicus. “Why do you ask?”
Copernicus shrugged. It had just occurred to him that if she sounded like a nice, single sort of lady he might be more inclined to join in on this adventure. Up until this point in his life, he had not been moving in social circles that were conducive to finding a soul mate. “No reason. Just shooting the breeze. Chewing the fat.”
Warren wasn’t fooled, but it occurred to him that telling Copernicus about Corrine could be helpful; if he described her in a positive light and made Copernicus feel bad for her and her plight, he might be more inclined to keep his word and let them go on their way without any trouble. Guys were suckers for distressed damsels, after all. “She’s a first-rate lady. Always there when I need her. I know I can count on her to help me whenever I need it.” He got all broody for a few seconds, and said, “Actually it’s that trait of hers that got her captured. The guy who took her had intended to take me instead, but then she pushed me out of the way of the guy’s spell, and it got her instead of me.”
“That was nice of her,” Copernicus said.
“Yeah. That’s the kind of person she is.”
“Nice.”
“Yep.”
“She single?”
Warren bristled. But then he remembered his quest to make Corrine human to Copernicus. “Yeah, she’s single. There was something going on a while back with the first mate of the pirate ship we lived on, but that ended badly. I’m sure she’s done with him.”
How to Break an Evil Curse Page 28